"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 3

Part 3 - "Why the NEED for CHANGE?"

As we continue to discuss the saying, "When the going gets tough the tough get going" I hope we have all gotten a little bit more comfortable with admitting that this is not always true in our own lives.

Here's the bottom line on this whole thing - we can keep living a LIE instead of being honest with ourselves and, if we choose to do so, we must also understand that NOTHING will EVER change for the better in our lives.

WHY? First and foremost, a life (or really ANYTHING) built on lies cannot stand and prosper.

Period.

So, again, let's get honest about this whole thing and just admit that many times (most? all?) when the going gets tough we DON'T always "get going" the way we'd like to think we should or even could.

So far we've looked at the thoughts of, "When the going gets tough..."

- We have to make some choices! Actually, there is only one of two choices: GIVE UP or GET UP! It is your choice, indeed, and no one else can make it for you. For the rest of the discussions that we are having on this I am moving with the assumption that you have decided to GET up and KEEP MOVING forward!

- We probably need to make some CHANGES! When we find ourselves in a tough situation we probably are going to need to do something DIFFERENT in order to get OUT of this tough situation!

This brings us to today's thoughts shared via the podcast and now, in this article.

WHY THE NEED FOR CHANGE?

First of all, we may need to make some changes out of necessity. I used the example of a tornado coming through and wiping your house out completely. When that happens your whole life changes in an instant!

When something like that happens - something completely out of your control - you will definitely have to make some changes. Like it or not, you are being FORCED to make some changes! Why? Because nothing IS the same as it was and there is no other option but change.

There are times that things happen that are completely out of our control and, even then, we have the choice to either give up or get up and keep fighting. In situations like this (beyond our control) the change HAS taken place whether we wanted it to or not. How we respond to that change is now up to us.

Now, sometimes we find ourselves in tough situations because of something WE have done! Oh, we don't like to talk about that, now do we? In the podcast I mentioned the need to get brutally honest with ourselves on this one. It is so easy to always blame someone or something else for our tough situations when, sometimes, it is our OWN fault that we find ourselves in a tough situation.

Here's a clue: if you find yourself in tough situations over and over and over again, it is likely something that YOU are doing - or NOT doing - that is putting yourself in that situation!

I'm sure you've all heard that definition of insanity that says something along the lines of "trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the true definition of insanity." Makes sense, doesn't it?

Here's the example I used in the podcast for today: Let's say the "tough situation" is represented by a brick wall in front of you. It has stopped your progress and you have decided that you are NOT going to give up and that you are going to MOVE AHEAD past this obstacle to keep moving on to your goals and dreams.

You have decided that you are going to go THROUGH the brick wall using brute force. And, being a man and taking to heart that your wife has told you that you have a hard head, you have decided that you will USE your head as a battering ram.

Now, isn't it interesting that "using your head" in that sentence actually means that you are NOT using your head (as in, "not thinking clearly")?

Tell me friend, how long will it take - how many head bangs against that brick wall - before you begin to understand that what you are doing IS not working and WILL not work? How long will it take before you realize that you need to CHANGE your approach and do something differently?

THAT'S what we're talking about.

In the next article we are going to discuss the "Three R's" of change that we may want to consider.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day!" (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going!"

Wow, wouldn't it be great IF that were always true in our own lives? But, let's be honest, it's NOT always true in our own lives, is it?

I was reading an article a few minutes ago and someone made the comment on "self-help" books, (and I quote loosely) "Most of these books work if you do the work. Of course, if you do the work, you don't need the books in the first place."

I think I understand what this person means and, on one level, I agree with them.

But, at the same time, I also find this idea that we can do it all on our own! And, that goes back to that idea of the quote being used for this series of podcasts and blogs (too, don't forget I'm also video taping my podcast - go to the main site to hook up to my YouTube channel - www.MichaelSpillman.com).

It would be GREAT if we could always just blast right through any and all obstacles that get in our way!

But, honestly, we're simply not made that way.

What do I mean? Simply put: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

Isn't that true? As hard as some people may try, it's like the old quote, "No man is an island." Even though people give us headaches and heartaches from time to time the fact remains: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

So, that's one reason I am so thankful that you are reading this. I hope that I'm able to help you with the mindset necessary to keep moving forward. And, let me say this - I NEED YOU and am ENCOURAGED by you when you leave comments and encourage me by letting me know that this helps you even in some small way.

So, bottom line, we don't always GET GOING when things get tough.

That being said, here's the first "end of the quote" I want to use for today:

"When the going gets tough...WE HAVE CHOICES TO MAKE!"

In my opinion we have only TWO choices when things get tough. We can either GIVE UP or we can choose to GET UP!

Oh, I know you've head me say that before - but it's still true and it applies to this situation.

When you get knocked to your knees it's easy to "just stay down" and to try to avoid any more hurt or struggle. It's easy to give up thinking that by doing so the struggle will either ease up or just go away.

FALSE!

You can be assured that it WON'T go away or ease up just because we have chosen to "throw in the towel". There's more to be said on this part and I will be sharing thoughts on this throughout this little series (as well as on the podcast - be sure to listen to them because I don't use a script to make sure that I say the EXACT same thing there and here both!).

But for now, let's all realize that GIVING UP is one decision that you could make when things get tough.

The other? GET UP and KEEP MOVING forward REGARDLESS of the tough situation that is invading your life for the moment.

Don't miss those last three words..."for the moment".

Here's one thing you can count on when it comes to tough times: Tough times come and tough times go.

And, yeah, then they come again. But, guess what? Then they also "go" again.

It's simply part of life and part of BEING ALIVE!

We'll be talking more about what this means for each of us but keep this in mind - YOU ARE CHOOSING A PATH EACH AND EVERY DAY.

Which path are YOU choosing? The path that is part of the "giving up" choice or the path that is part of the "getting up" choice?

Hey, let's get real and honest here. You already know which path you are choosing, don't you?

And, too, some days we choose one path and, on other days we choose the other one.

That being so, aren't you glad we have each other to help out along the way? I know I am!

And I am THANKFUL for you!

As always, "Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

WOW - I'm BEHIND!

I apologize for being so far behind on my blogs - I have no excuse and I will try to catch up as much as possible in today's entry.



Following the FEAR of POVERTY and the FEAR of CRITICISM we began to discuss the next fear in Napoleon Hill's list of the "Six Ghosts of Fear". This all can be found in chapter 15 ("How to Outwith The Six Ghosts of Fear") of his classic book, "Think & Grow Rich".



THE FEAR OF SICKNESS



You likely already know this but, people (yes, even you!) can literally make themselves sick! I had listed on my "status" on Facebook this topic and one of my friends made the comment that they once had a coworker that would end up going home for the day not feeling well if they had discussed at all any type of sickness or someone else that was sick!



Napoleon Hill even talks about an experiment that he had carried out in which he had three different people come in to the "victim" and express the idea that, "Wow, you don't look too good. Are you feeling o.k.?" The "victim" responded to the first query with something along the lines of, "Oh no - I'm doing fine!" However, once the second person came in and asked the same question the "victim" would then respond with something along the lines of, "Well, you know, I am feeling like I'm coming down with something." and then, by the time the third person came in with the same comment, the "victim" would admit that they were, in fact, not well.



Isn't that amazing? Yet, we can do the same thing ourselves AND that being so - out of necessity - it must also be suggested that we can IMPROVE our health by controlling our thoughts!



THIS IS STILL ALL ABOUT OUR MINDS and the THOUGHTS and SUGGESTIONS that we allow there! Mr. Hill states the following: "Powerful and mighty is the human mind! It builds or it destroys!"



What are the SYMPTOMS of this FEAR of SICKNESS?



1. AUTO-SUGGESTION - Huh? Wait a minute! Isn't "auto-suggestion" a positive thing? Well, it CAN be! However, just as we can feed our mind POSITIVE information in order that our subconscious mind can then "automatically suggest" those positive thoughts and beliefs back to us, so is it true with negative thoughts. We can also allow negative thoughts to be fed into our subconscious mind (yes, WE/YOU/I control this!) and that is what we will receive through auto-suggestion. We can so fear getting sick that our subconscious can contiually suggest to us that, indeed, we DO feel bad and ARE getting sick!



2. HYPOCHONDRIA - We all have likely heard this term, right? We call those with this "phobia", "hypochondriacs". Mr. Hill describes this as a medical term for imaginary diseases and he suggests that, many times, what we IMAGINE brings about worse health than the actual disease/sickness feared! He also suggest that NOTHING in a bottle is able to cure this - again, it's all in the mind and we DO have the power and ability to control and CURE this plague from our lives!



3. EXCERCISE - (or the lack of it!) We can't excercise - or so we've told ourselves - because we suffer from this problem or that problem that prevents us from doing so. Poor me!



4. SUSCEPTIBILITY - This fear actually can break down our immune system and make us susceptible to the very sickness that we try to avoid. Worry and fear, again, can literally make us sick. We won't sleep properly, excercise properly, eat properly or think properly which will - in turn - lower our body's ability to fight off the illness.



5. SELF-CODDLING - Directly from this chapter, here is what Mr. Hill has to say about this one... "The habit of making a bid for sympathy, using imaginary illness as a lure. (People often resort to this trick to avoid work). The habit of feigning illness to cover plain laziness, or to serve as an alibi for lack of ambition." Hmmm...know anyone like that?



6. INTEMPERENCE - The habit of using alchohol and narcotics (I would include even prescription or over-the-counter medication) to destroy pains such as headaches, etc. instead of destroying the cause. Maybe even now - in our current situation - spending endless hours looking over medical help websites to try to see what might be something that could fit how we feel (or THINK we feel).



Wow - do you find yourself in there anywhere? Sadly, most of us can probably relate to at least SOME of these symptoms!



Now, listen - I do understand that there ARE some diseases, illness and even headaches that we may not be able to control simply with positive thoughts. However, there are many things that we DO bring on ourselves, wouldn't you agree?



I do know this - a POSITIVE attitude is ALWAYS welcomed by doctors as one prepares for surgery and the recovery to follow. The doctors KNOW that our mindset can make all the difference in the world in how we go through surgery many times as well as how our recovery goes!



Even if you DO feel bad (for example, with a headache) you can still DECIDE how you will allow that headache (or whatever it may be) to control your day! My wife is a pro at this and she amazes me in how she can DETERMINE not to let it impact her day. And she usually succeeds in that task. She will tell me that she is NOT going to let her feeling bad ruin her day and she will put a smile on her face and proceed to, indeed, have a good day IN SPITE of how she feels.



What's the cure of this and the other fears? It's in everything that I (and others like Napoleon Hill) talk about every single day... the fact that YOU/ME/WE have the ability to control our day and our attitudes by our thinking.



Some won't want to hear that. Why? Because some LIKE being sick! (Remember symptom #5?)



PARENTS: Please pay close attention to this! Sickness is BIG BUSINESS! Parents have been sold a bill of goods many times into thinking that their child needs this medication or that medication for this and that to the point that so many of our kids are so "doped up" that they cannot even function properly! (This REALLY gets me angry!). The result? "Oh well, but at least they are behaving themselves." Again, this may step on some toes, but - if it will help some folks WAKE UP - then it's o.k. by me. Parents, most of what has been labled as some "illness" or problem with children (for which prescriptions are given) can be "cured" simply by spending quality time with your child and sharing your life with that child!



This is a whole separate topic but, to the point, we have gotten LAZY in raising our children and many times take the easy way out. It's easier to attach some "name" to the problem and have medicine prescribed and administered than it is to do the "work" of parenting. Ouch!



Here's the thing on ALL of this - creating and maintaing this POSITIVE mindset TAKES WORK! It's something that requires attention each and every day - much like raising a child!



That's why it's so important for you to continue to visit this blog and listen to my podcasts (as well as other's that can help you in this process) each and every day. It's an ON-GOING battle of the mind!



And I'm glad I am able to be a part of the solution - thanks for allowing me into your life.



Keep up the battle - you CAN overcome this fear as well as the others.



And, as always, be sure to remember to...



"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"





Mike