"When the Going Gets Tough" - Conclusion

"Conclusion: Another 'R' To Consider"

As we conclude the thoughts on the saying, "When the going gets tough the tough get going" I want to encourage you to realize one thing: YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANY TOUGH TIME THAT COMES YOUR WAY!

Yes, some are easier to handle than other and some take longer to work through than others but the key thing to remember is that you CAN make it through!

Even though I have not gone into real "in-depth" discussions on each part of this series, I do believe that you have the FOUNDATION that you need to be able to incorporate them into your life to help you during times of struggle.

Bottom line: You'll never improve your situation until you decide to do something different than what you have done before.

As I said at the beginning of this series, first and foremost - YOU HAVE A CHOICE in anything and everything that you do and you also have a choice when it comes time to facing tough situations in your life.

Stop being a victim! Stop trying to find someone else to blame and TAKE CONTROL of your life and DECIDE NOW that you will move ahead!

This is all part of "The 3 R's of Change" that we discussed in yesterday's article. You NEED to "retreat, regroup and rethink" before you move forward again.

Learning from your mistakes is one thing but it doesn't mean that you have to keep making the SAME mistakes over and over again. Actually, what that would mean is that you didn't learn anything at all!

Now, today, in the conclusion I discuss still yet, another "R". I know. I said that there were only three. Well, actually there ARE "The 3 R's of Change" and this one actually is something that may be needed AFTER you go through the first three.

Remember the example of the football or basketball going to the locke room at halftime? That would be the "retreat" part of the equation.

They may need to wrap some ankles or tend to other injuries or even just rehydrate. That would be PART of the "regroup" part of the equation.

However, "regrouping" and "rethinking" are closely tied together. Part of "regrouping" is allowing yourself the time to actually "rethink" the situation as well. Following the example that we used in yesterday's article, the coaching staff would need to look at what has already happened in the first half and then decide - based on what they have seen and experienced - what their "plan of attack" will be for the second half.

If it has not been working then they will "rethink" what they have been doing and they will MAKE A CHANGE and go out onto the field or court with a different game plan.

But, what if NOTHING seems to work over and over again? (Have you been there? I have!)

If the coaching staff continues to "retreat, rethink and regroup" they may eventually discover that the problem is that one of their positions needs to have a change made! Perhaps they have had a key player get injured OR the player that they have in a certain position just isn't quite getting the job done.

What do they do? They "RECRUIT" someone else to come in with the hopes of "filling the gap" and improving the team.

So, this other "R" that we will discuss briefly today is "RECRUIT".

YOU may need to do some recruiting in your own life! This just simply means that you might want to consider the possibility of getting some additional HELP to aide you in your desire to "break through" your tough situation.

Perhaps you may need to "recruit" some materials into your life that will help give you the positive mindset that you need in order to keep moving forward. This blog along with my podcast and other materials is a great example of what I'm talking about. On my website (http://www.michaelspillman.com/) you can also get a free copy of Napoleon Hill's great book, "Think and Grow Rich" as well as access some materials from the late, great Jim Rohn.

You can go and get some free information from http://www.success.com/ and subscribe to their magazine if you think it would be worth the money to do so.

The main thought here is that you UNDERSTAND the need to "fill the gap" that may exist in your life and the mindset needed in order to persevere during tough times.

You may also need to RECRUIT some friends (but make sure they are friends with a POSITIVE mindset as well and NOT someone with a negative mindset which would be self-defeating) to help you stay on track as you do the same for them.

And, finally, you may need to RECRUIT a "mentor" - someone that you trust and respect and that you will actually LISTEN to as well as take to heart the things that they share with you.

This could be a friend - preferably, at least in my thought, an older person that has already experienced some of life's tough times and has come through - that you know personally OR you may even be able to connect with someone that you have become acquainted with via a book or some other source.

However, the probability of you being able to have someone as a mentor in this second category will likely cost you quite a bit of money. True, many people will say that someone is their "mentor" because they have read many of their books and/or listened to them via mp3, CD or even at live events. I agree that some people "connect" with others in a more powerful way (Jim Rohn is that person for me) and that they may have a POWERFUL impact on a persons life without ever even meeting them - but, to me, this is not what I mean by a "mentor".

When I talk about a mentor, I am talking about someone that you can sit down and talk to face to face.

Why is this so important? Because they can talk to you and discuss with you the SPECIFICS of your situation even as they may change from day to day.

But will you listen? It will do no good at all to "recruit" a mentor if you are not willing to listen and take some advice from this person.

That would be like a football team recruiting a new running back to replace their injured running back and then never putting the guy in the game.

Friend, my guess is that, if at all possible, you NEED to find a "mentor" in your life. I say this regardless of the situation that you find yourself in right now. I have benefited greatly over the years by having someone much older and wiser than myself in my life and to be able to sit down and "pick their brain" on different topics.

Why not try it in and for your life as well?

So, when the going gets tough...

- you have some choices to make (you can either GIVE UP or GET UP and keep moving)

- you probably will need to make some CHANGES from what you have been doing before

- you can incorporate "The 3 R's of Change" to help aide you in this process

- you may need to "RECRUIT" someone older and wiser for some advice

So what?

So what will YOU do now that you have this information? It's always up to you. Others can advise and suggest but YOU are the one that will decide what to do.

I will help any way that I can - please don't hesitate to contact me via the contact tab on the main site.

Until the next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 5

"The 3 R's of Change: Retreat, Regroup, Rethink"

Yesterday we looked at the first "R" of "The 3 R's of Change" when we examined the thoughts behind the word, "RETREAT".

Again, the word "retreat" DOES NOT mean surrender! Do NOT forget that and do NOT confuse that point. It is vitally important to your success as you move on with your decision to "get up and get going" again.

Think of this analogy as we consider "The 3 R's of Change"...

This example is true whether you are talking about college football or the pros (it's also true in basketball as well as other sports) - there is a halftime for a reason.

Halftime gives each team a chance to RETREAT, REGROUP and RETHINK!

When that horn or whistle blows signifying that the first half is over and done with, each team retreats to the locker room. Have they given up? Have they forfeited the game by leaving the court? NO!

They have simply "retreated" so that they can "regroup" and "rethink" before beginning play in the second half of the game.

Now think about this - even if everything has been going in their favor the whole first half of the game the players still need to regroup! Perhaps someone needs to have an ankle taped or they all need to rehydrate and catch their breath before going back at it again.

And, even if everything has been going in their favor the coaches STILL need to "rethink" what has gone on and decide if they want to keep doing the exact same thing (that has been working) OR change it up a little bit to throw the opposing team off of their guard a little bit more.

Now, let's go to the other locker room. Let's go to the locker room where NOTHING seems to have been going in their favor for the first half of the game. They were HAPPY to have the chance to retreat to the locker room before things go any worse! They were HAPPY to have the chance to "regroup" and "rethink" what has been going wrong with their game plan.

They may need to completely scrap their original game plan and go with something different. Why? Because what they have been doing has not been working!

If you know anything about sports then you know what would happen if that team were to go back on the field without having changed their approach. You would hear a chorus of "boos" coming from their fans if they came out and did the exact same thing that WASN'T WORKING in the first half of the game!

And, likely, that coach would end up losing his job. Why? Because it is ridiculous to think that you can keep doing the same "proven-to-fail" methods over and over again and expect anything BUT failure as a result.

So, this may seem like an oversimplified analogy, but it is one that fits what we are talking about in a way that should help us all understand that this is something WE MUST DO if we plan to have different and better results when we face tough times.

Oh, and by the way, I discovered a 4th and very important "R" to go along with the first three - you don't want to miss it!

Until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 4

"The First 'R' of the "3 R's of Change"

As we continue to talk about the fact that, when we face tough times and situations, we likely need to make some changes in our life we must begin to challenge ourselves as to the WHY of our situation.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a tough situation due to circumstances beyond our control such as the tornado example I used in yesterday's article. Even at that - even though we had no control over the tornado - we find ourselves, out of necessity, having to make changes in our life!

But again, if we are going to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves, there are many times that we have to face the fact that WE are to blame for the tough situation in which we find ourselves. Perhaps it's due to poor choices and decisions or due to our own negative attitude towards our job and/or others around us.

But, regardless...WHAT NOW?

Today I want to introduce you to the first "R" of what I like to call "The 3 R's of Change" and that would be...

RETREAT!

Let's get something clear right from the start of this part of the discussion - retreat and surrender are two totally different things!

Surrender means that you have given up and given in. You have ceased to fight.

"Retreat" means that you have decided that you need to withdraw from the situation so that you can "step back" and take another look at what is going on and what you are doing in regards to the situation.

I don't really want to get too detailed on this today because I will be revealing the other 2 "R's" of change tomorrow and they all tie in with each other. However, we can still focus on this part and work on it right away...

YOU MAY NEED TO RETREAT!

Do any of you remember that old commercial where the housewife was surrounded by her hectic surroundings of the day? The kids were fussing and fighting, the dog was barking, the phone was ringing and on and on it went. The commercial ends with her calling out, "Calgon take me away!". It was an advertisement for some sort of bath salt and she longed to get in that hot tub and just soak and GET AWAY from her hectic surroundings.

We ALL need that from time to time and, sometimes, when we are in the middle of tough times we especially need to retreat.

Do NOT misunderstand this point...this is NOT running away from the situation or your problems! Not at all!

I'll clarify this even more in tomorrow's podcast and blog article but it is NOT running away or surrendering.

My friend, "retreat" is just the opposite of giving up or running away.

So, for you today, perhaps you just need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Don't give up and don't run away. That never accomplishes anything, does it? Why? Because the problem or tough situation is still there.

Be sure to join me tomorrow as I revel the other 2 "R's" of change and, until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 3

Part 3 - "Why the NEED for CHANGE?"

As we continue to discuss the saying, "When the going gets tough the tough get going" I hope we have all gotten a little bit more comfortable with admitting that this is not always true in our own lives.

Here's the bottom line on this whole thing - we can keep living a LIE instead of being honest with ourselves and, if we choose to do so, we must also understand that NOTHING will EVER change for the better in our lives.

WHY? First and foremost, a life (or really ANYTHING) built on lies cannot stand and prosper.

Period.

So, again, let's get honest about this whole thing and just admit that many times (most? all?) when the going gets tough we DON'T always "get going" the way we'd like to think we should or even could.

So far we've looked at the thoughts of, "When the going gets tough..."

- We have to make some choices! Actually, there is only one of two choices: GIVE UP or GET UP! It is your choice, indeed, and no one else can make it for you. For the rest of the discussions that we are having on this I am moving with the assumption that you have decided to GET up and KEEP MOVING forward!

- We probably need to make some CHANGES! When we find ourselves in a tough situation we probably are going to need to do something DIFFERENT in order to get OUT of this tough situation!

This brings us to today's thoughts shared via the podcast and now, in this article.

WHY THE NEED FOR CHANGE?

First of all, we may need to make some changes out of necessity. I used the example of a tornado coming through and wiping your house out completely. When that happens your whole life changes in an instant!

When something like that happens - something completely out of your control - you will definitely have to make some changes. Like it or not, you are being FORCED to make some changes! Why? Because nothing IS the same as it was and there is no other option but change.

There are times that things happen that are completely out of our control and, even then, we have the choice to either give up or get up and keep fighting. In situations like this (beyond our control) the change HAS taken place whether we wanted it to or not. How we respond to that change is now up to us.

Now, sometimes we find ourselves in tough situations because of something WE have done! Oh, we don't like to talk about that, now do we? In the podcast I mentioned the need to get brutally honest with ourselves on this one. It is so easy to always blame someone or something else for our tough situations when, sometimes, it is our OWN fault that we find ourselves in a tough situation.

Here's a clue: if you find yourself in tough situations over and over and over again, it is likely something that YOU are doing - or NOT doing - that is putting yourself in that situation!

I'm sure you've all heard that definition of insanity that says something along the lines of "trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the true definition of insanity." Makes sense, doesn't it?

Here's the example I used in the podcast for today: Let's say the "tough situation" is represented by a brick wall in front of you. It has stopped your progress and you have decided that you are NOT going to give up and that you are going to MOVE AHEAD past this obstacle to keep moving on to your goals and dreams.

You have decided that you are going to go THROUGH the brick wall using brute force. And, being a man and taking to heart that your wife has told you that you have a hard head, you have decided that you will USE your head as a battering ram.

Now, isn't it interesting that "using your head" in that sentence actually means that you are NOT using your head (as in, "not thinking clearly")?

Tell me friend, how long will it take - how many head bangs against that brick wall - before you begin to understand that what you are doing IS not working and WILL not work? How long will it take before you realize that you need to CHANGE your approach and do something differently?

THAT'S what we're talking about.

In the next article we are going to discuss the "Three R's" of change that we may want to consider.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day!" (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 2

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 2

As I continue with my thoughts on this topic of, "When the Going Gets Tough..." I do want to take just a moment and look at the thoughts we have already shared together to this point.

FIRST - The fact that things GET TOUGH is just a part of life! I'm sorry to burst your bubble if you didn't already know this but, if you've been lucky enough to live a "tough-free" life up to this point, then you need to prepare yourself because, sooner or later, THEY WILL GET TOUGH! Again, it's just a part of life and the "human experience".

SECOND - The ending part of this phrase, "When the going gets tough the tough get going." isn't always true for us, is it? Sure, we'd love it to be true any and every time we face touch challenges in our lives - but we just don't! And, because of that, many times we beat ourselves up with guilt because we feel week and inferior. Why? Because we are either trying to live up to someone else's expectations of us OR we are falling short of our own expectations in this area. Bottom line: we don't always handle things or face things the way we (or others) think that we should.

THIRD - We looked at one "ending" to this phrase by saying, "When the going gets tough you have to make some CHOICES!" And, in my book, you have only two choices - GIVE UP or GET UP. You can either roll up into a ball and give up OR you can keep fighting ahead with the attitude that you will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP! Hey, even that thought is kind of "rah rah", isn't it? I mean that thought is powerful but it doesn't always live up to the hype. I think it is because of the "image" we have in our minds associated with the idea of "never, ever giving up". But, regardless, the choice is your and you are currently following one of the two paths in your life. Which path are YOU following currently?

AND NOW FOR TODAY'S THOUGHTS - "When the going gets tough you probably need to make some CHANGES!"

This goes along with the "image" I mentioned in point 3 of this article that we often have in our minds when we think about the fact that we will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP!

I applaud your decision to never give up! I SUPPORT your decision to never give up! It is a decision that we all MUST make IF we really ever plan to move forward and make any progress in any area of our lives.

But, if you find yourself continually in difficult situations and things aren't changing the way that you think that they should then, perhaps, you need to make a CHANGE in the way you are approaching/attacking the situation.

We'll talk more about this in the next part of this series but, for now, just consider the "image" of NEVER GIVING UP that you may have in your head.

Is it an image of just pounding away and hitting "the problem" full on - head on - repeatedly until it caves in to your might?

How's that working out for you? (And I say that with a little smile on my face, by the way.)

Maybe it's time we made a change in our approach.

Think about it and, until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going!"

Wow, wouldn't it be great IF that were always true in our own lives? But, let's be honest, it's NOT always true in our own lives, is it?

I was reading an article a few minutes ago and someone made the comment on "self-help" books, (and I quote loosely) "Most of these books work if you do the work. Of course, if you do the work, you don't need the books in the first place."

I think I understand what this person means and, on one level, I agree with them.

But, at the same time, I also find this idea that we can do it all on our own! And, that goes back to that idea of the quote being used for this series of podcasts and blogs (too, don't forget I'm also video taping my podcast - go to the main site to hook up to my YouTube channel - www.MichaelSpillman.com).

It would be GREAT if we could always just blast right through any and all obstacles that get in our way!

But, honestly, we're simply not made that way.

What do I mean? Simply put: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

Isn't that true? As hard as some people may try, it's like the old quote, "No man is an island." Even though people give us headaches and heartaches from time to time the fact remains: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

So, that's one reason I am so thankful that you are reading this. I hope that I'm able to help you with the mindset necessary to keep moving forward. And, let me say this - I NEED YOU and am ENCOURAGED by you when you leave comments and encourage me by letting me know that this helps you even in some small way.

So, bottom line, we don't always GET GOING when things get tough.

That being said, here's the first "end of the quote" I want to use for today:

"When the going gets tough...WE HAVE CHOICES TO MAKE!"

In my opinion we have only TWO choices when things get tough. We can either GIVE UP or we can choose to GET UP!

Oh, I know you've head me say that before - but it's still true and it applies to this situation.

When you get knocked to your knees it's easy to "just stay down" and to try to avoid any more hurt or struggle. It's easy to give up thinking that by doing so the struggle will either ease up or just go away.

FALSE!

You can be assured that it WON'T go away or ease up just because we have chosen to "throw in the towel". There's more to be said on this part and I will be sharing thoughts on this throughout this little series (as well as on the podcast - be sure to listen to them because I don't use a script to make sure that I say the EXACT same thing there and here both!).

But for now, let's all realize that GIVING UP is one decision that you could make when things get tough.

The other? GET UP and KEEP MOVING forward REGARDLESS of the tough situation that is invading your life for the moment.

Don't miss those last three words..."for the moment".

Here's one thing you can count on when it comes to tough times: Tough times come and tough times go.

And, yeah, then they come again. But, guess what? Then they also "go" again.

It's simply part of life and part of BEING ALIVE!

We'll be talking more about what this means for each of us but keep this in mind - YOU ARE CHOOSING A PATH EACH AND EVERY DAY.

Which path are YOU choosing? The path that is part of the "giving up" choice or the path that is part of the "getting up" choice?

Hey, let's get real and honest here. You already know which path you are choosing, don't you?

And, too, some days we choose one path and, on other days we choose the other one.

That being so, aren't you glad we have each other to help out along the way? I know I am!

And I am THANKFUL for you!

As always, "Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Updates and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

UPDATES and "Merry Christmas!!"

It's been a while since I last posted anything on the blog so I thought I'd spend a few moments and give an update while also wishing each of you a "Merry Christmas" with wishes for a "Happy New Year" as well!

As you know, I lost my job back in the middle of August (hard to believe it's been FOUR months since this has happened) and, due to the uncertainty of things, I felt I needed to cease doing my podcast and blog at that time. I didn't want to do a "hit and miss" podcast/blog...I wanted it to be consistent.

If you know anything about me at all then you also know that I am upfront and honest so I'm not going to change that now. The past four months have been very difficult! Without going into a lot of detail at this point I'll just say it has been very stressful financially, emotionally and spiritually. I've had to work VERY hard to keep a positive mindset and to practice the things that I have shared for you in past podcasts and blogs.

Truth? Some days I did alright in that area and some days I did not.

Surprised? You shouldn't be!

I have never said - and hopefully it was never implied - that EVERY day was going to be a GREAT and WONDERFUL day regardless of the circumstances. The whole focus on what I have done in the past was to help us all understand that, regardless of the circumstances, WE had CONTROL when it came to the positive or negative impact on our lives.

It is a DAILY struggle for us all - I don't care who you are or how you are doing in your life at the moment.

So, bottom line - in case you didn't know it already - I'm just like you! I struggle each and every day with my mindset and realize that I MUST continue to FIGHT to keep the negative out!

Sure, some days are easier than others and some days are just plain hard.

But the key is this: NEVER GIVE UP!

Remember, "As long as there is breath, there is hope."

I'll be sharing some more news about my plans beginning in 2011. I will go ahead and tell you that I should be starting my podcast and blog once again along with some other exciting things planned.

STAY TUNED!

And, friend, I do want to wish you and your family a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And, as always, whatever you do...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Learning Life's Adventure Lesson

Learning Life's Adventure Lesson

(Yeah, the type/font is going to be a little different because I want this to look more like something you'd do for a class -- will it work? Eh, who knows?)

This week we have been talking about the fact that life is an adventure! That being so, we must understand that the word "adventure" does not always mean "enjoyable". Let me remind you that the adventures we see people participate in usually have the "exhilaration factor" highlighted and you usually don't see the struggle aspect.

Sometimes you do, and I'm thankful for those programs that show the good, the bad AND the ugly of an adventure!

Too many times we wistfully watch a television program and think about how wonderful it would be "IF ONLY" we could have such an adventure in our life!

So, DO something about it.

That's right. If you want to live a life of adventure then DO it!

You see, you don't have to go climb a high mountain in a foreign country or travel around the world to have an adventure. Sure, it'd be quite an adventure to be able to do those things but, my friend, GET THIS POINT - adventure is awaiting you each and every day right where you are! Are you willing to take the risk (the good, bad AND the ugly) that comes with it?

And, yes, trying to figure out how you're going to survive when you have several mouths to feed and you just lost your job IS an adventure. Sure, it's one we'd rather not have to live through - but, regardless, it IS an adventure.

"Oh wait, that's not the kind of adventure I was talking about when I said I wish I had some adventure in my life."

Sorry. Too bad. It happens anyway, doesn't it?

Without repeating myself too much please understand that you CAN survive. The proof comes in the fact that either YOU have survived before or you know others that have done so. So, YES, either you can do it AGAIN or realize that you, too, CAN survive and make it through this "adventure" in your life.

You will hear - my guess is 100% of the time - those that experience these extreme adventures in their life talk about what they learned about themselves in the process. I'd guess that if you go through such a thing and you DON'T learn some important lessons about yourself - you probably died along the way!

But not before you learned something.

The example I used in today's podcast was this: "If you're going to have your heart ripped out due to losing a loved one, why not - WHY NOT - try to learn something through the process?"

Again, perhaps we learned not to take people for granted, or the day for granted. Perhaps we learned the value of telling those close to you that you love them as often as possible. But, learn SOMETHING! And, the thing is, whether you actually realize it or not, you DO learn something from life's adventure struggles.

If you are currently involved in a "life adventure", take a moment and ask yourself a.) what you ARE learning and, b.) what you NEED to learn in the process.

If you are struggling financially perhaps ask yourself what you NEED to learn so that you can prevent this from being a recurring cycle in your life.

THIS IS IMPERATIVE if we are going to not only survive but also THRIVE in this adventure we call life!

You can do it and you CAN grow and learn as you encounter life's adventures.

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike