Another Year Passed...One Day At A Time

"Another Day Passed..."

Here we are again... the end of another year and the time that so many start looking back and examining the year gone by.

The other day I posted the following on my F.Y.U. fan page on Facebook - ‎"Think about this: Waiting until January 1st to make resolutions for the new year is like waiting until you run out of gas to begin looking for a gas station." - Mike Spillman

That kind of hits me right in the gut like many of you. Why? Because I have done the same thing many times before.

Isn't it time for a change in the way that many of us approach this?

Too many people look back over the past year with remorse and regret due to feeling like they have not accomplished all that they had originally planned. You know, back at the start of this very year that is coming to a close. Those "New Year's Resolutions".

The main title points out something that we might want to really focus on - this year has passed ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Hey, listen, I understand - I really do. I've made so many major plans and have set goals that I have STILL yet to reach and I have beat myself up about those many times before.

But, here's the deal: that hasn't helped me in any way that I can see so WHY keep doing the same thing?

INSTEAD of waiting until the end of the year to look back and determine whether it was "successful" based on whatever measuring stick we have decided to use - WHY NOT look back at the end of EACH and EVERY day to gauge our progress?

Hey, here's another simple comparison that we can make that many of us ALSO can relate to: KEEPING AN EYE ON OUR WEIGHT.

The time to see how you've done on your weight goals is NOT at the end of a 12 month period BUT in shorter increments - sometimes DAILY or even WEEKLY. At the very most - MONTHLY.

Hey, YOU know what happens if we don't, right? That weight will sneak up on us and - what - surprise us? Now, you know that you have to admit that this scenario is a bit funny. Seriously, WHY should we be surprised?

Do you realize that only two pounds a month will add 24 pounds to our weight? Hey, let's get really depressing while we're at it and lay that out over a 5-year period that will add on an extra 120 pounds!

WHAT?

So, you see, the time to check our progress on ANY goal/endeavor is NOT at the end of a year but each and every day, weekly or - at most - monthly BEFORE things get away from us.

Think about that as we come to the end of another calendar year.

Don't fret over the past year but decide now to approach this differently than we have before and let's see what happens.

Here's to your health, happiness and success in the coming year!

And, in the mean time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

CHANGE: No Fault of Our Own

"CHANGE: No Fault of Our Own"

Hey listen, sometimes (like we discussed in the last article) we screw up and bring changes into our lives BECAUSE of something we have done, right?

And then, there are those changes that come into our lives at absolutely NO FAULT of our own. And, sometimes, these are the hardest changes to handle for many.

Before we get too far into this, let's look one more time at the four different categories that I've put together as to the different kinds of changes that we face in our lives:

TYPES OF CHANGES: (1)Those we voluntarily bring on ourselves... (2) those that we have no choice in but are not "against" us (change of seasons, life changes due to age, etc.)... (3) those that come at us DUE TO our actions and (4) those that come to us 100% involuntarily and at no fault of our own.

If you haven't done so, take a look at the changes that have taken place in your life over the past month and even the past year and see what category these changes would fit into...even get out a piece of paper and jot this stuff down. You may be surprised at what you find IF you are completely open and honest with yourself.

Now back to the topic for today: those changes that come into our lives at NO FAULT of our own.

Has your life ever changed due to the death of a loved one or a close friend? Obviously it was no fault of your own but the change impacted your life anyway, right?

Has your home ever been damaged or loss due to a flood or some sort of storm or fire? Again, this was no fault of your own bu the change came anyway.

Have you ever lost a job due to circumstances out of your control such as the company "downsizing" (what a "nice" word, huh?)?

Has change come into your life due to some health issue that has developed due to circumstances out of your control? I'm not talking about situations like this that developed due to you smoking or other unhealthy habits. I'm talking about something that you had NO control over at all. Perhaps it was due to a car accident that was caused by someone else. Maybe it was even just some freak health issue that was undetected all of your life up until this point.

Guess what... in all of these situations change comes REGARDLESS of who was or was not at fault.

Friend, I'm not trying to be the bearer of bad news but if you've not experienced such change in your life then know that you WILL if you live long enough.

This type of change is a part of living and it's not easy to handle for anyone.

May I offer a word of kindness to anyone that is still dealing with the changes that have come into your life due to some such incident? Hang in there! I KNOW from my own experiences that this type of situation can leave you with far more questions than answers and I want to encourage you to find some people that will support you an allow you to struggle while encouraging you at the same time.

One of the worse things a person can do with this type of change is to attempt to handle it all by themselves.

You see, we like to be able to pinpoint who is at fault when something goes wrong...that's just our human nature.

We may even shake our fist at God because we don't know who else to blame but, in the long run, that doesn't help us deal with this change either.

As I've said on the podcast and as the picture at the top of this article states, "The only constant in life is CHANGE!"

If you've experienced such change in your life could you be of assistance to someone else that is just now beginning such a journey? Could you be of help in listening because YOU understand in ways that those who have yet to go through such a change can't?

My wife and I have been through some rough times in our life in many ways (no, I'm not trying to get you to feel sorry for us) but these rough times have helped us to be able to understand and reach out to others in ways that we never could have without going through these changes in the first place.

Does that mean I'm glad the change happened in our life? NO! But, it does mean that I can use the experience to hopefully help someone else that is left bewildered by changes that come at absolutely no fault of their own.

Take a look around you. Who may need YOUR sympathy and understanding that only YOU can give because of change that has come into YOUR life at no fault of your own?

I can promise you that there are people around you each and every day that could use your insight into these difficult times.

Remember, we're in this thing called life TOGETHER!

I do hope that, in some small way, what I do through Future You University is of some help and comfort to all of you as we work our way through this thing called "life".

Think about it. Hang on. Help others.

And, even in the midst of these changes always remember to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

CHANGES: I Screwed Up!

CHANGES: I SCREWED UP!!

Now, hopefully you're really familiar with F.Y.U (Future You University) but I hope you're not TOO familiar with I.S.U. (I Screwed Up!).

But, let's face it, since we are all human we ALL spend time trying to deal with the consequences that come when we screw up, right?

Before I get too far into the discussion for today, let's take a look at the four types of changes that we face in our lives:

TYPES OF CHANGES: (1)Those we voluntarily bring on ourselves... (2) those that we have no choice in but are not "against" us (change of seasons, life changes due to age, etc.)... (3)those that come at us DUE TO our actions and (4) those that come to us 100% involuntarily and at no fault of our own.

If you haven't gone back and read the articles on the first two (and/or listened to the podcasts that go with them) then you might want to do that first to catch up with the discussion so far.

So, for today, we are going to talk about the 3rd category listed above: Those changes that come our way due to our own actions. In other words, changes that come when we SCREW UP!

Here's the deal even with this: too many people still try to blame other people or other circumstances for their own screw ups and won't take the action necessary to accept the blame, do what can be done to correct the mess and then move on!

Does that describe you? (*OUCH!*)

Hey, let's face it...it's hard to ADMIT it when we suffer or those connected to us (spouse, children, friends, etc.) suffer due to our own screw ups! Seriously, who wants to admit to that?

But, it's necessary for us to wake up and realize that we have made a big mistake so that we can hopefully learn from it and avoid that same mistake in the future.

Have you noticed that those that fail to do this seem to keep making the same dumb mistakes over and over again?

Again, does that describe you?

If it does, DO soemthing about it and LEARN as you move forward.

Hey, let's face this fact too...sometimes we just make a wrong decision and we suffer CHANGES that aren't good for us or those that are around us. It's not necessarily a pattern in our lives but, nonetheless, it causes some problems, right?

Maybe you pulled your family up from where you lived and moved them across the country for a new job that you thought would be best for all of you and it turns out that it was, actually, a very poor decision.

This ties in closely with our last topic about those changes that come due to our voluntarily actions but, yet, it's a little different because, at times (unlike that last example) these changes come due to our stupidity.

A bit blunt, huh?

Sometimes an inablility to control our temper and/or our tongue results in changes due to that inability. Maybe you told your boss off and got fired. Now what?

Do that type of thing too many times and you will find it harder and harder to get hired by anyone!

I was talking to someone not too long ago that was complaining about their current situation so I asked them what their "ideal situation" would be. They described it to me and then said, "But I know that will never happen." When I asked them why they would say that here was their response: "Because of all of the stupid stuff that I keep on doing!"

Thing is, during the time period that I was having this discussion with this person they were still doing some of the same stupid stuff that was keeping them from their "ideal situation".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So, let's get on to thinking about some sort of solution to this mess. How does that sound?

FIRST, if you fit the type of scenario like the last guy I talked about then you MUST decide what is more important in your life....keeping on doing what you are doing and getting the same results OR starting to CHANGE your life so that you can IMPROVE your life. As you've heard many times before the very definition of insanity is to keep doing the same things over and over again and to expect different results.

Part of this solution is to begin to discipline yourself... your temper, your tongue, your attitude, etc. Only you can do it but this type of infomation and other positive information can help you in this endeavor.

SECONDLY, if you are suffering through change due to a misinformed decision then, most importanlty, admit that mistake - no matter how hard it is to do so - and start moving toward correcting and/or limiting the damage that comes to the change connected to that decision.

Part of that may be apologizing to those that are being impacted due to that decision. Simply and honestly tell them that you blew it and that you are sorry and that if there was any way for you to go back and erase it all, you would.

Thing is, you can't. You can simply try to improve your current situation.

Can I also help you face some reality? It may be something that can be corrected fairly easily and quickly but prepare yourself for those situations that will NOT be corrected easily OR quickly. The main thing in a situation like that is to keep yourself focused on a SOLUTION and to NOT focus on the mistake and what happened in the past.

YES, pay attention to the mistake so that you can learn from it and not repeat it in the future but DO NOT LINGER ON IT!

I'd be happy to discuss this with your further if you'd like to contact me via the website and share with me your situation.

Remember this: WE ALL SCREW UP sooner or later. The key is what we do AFTER that realization.

Hopefully, as we mature and learn the changes in our life that are due to our own decisions will be more positive than negative and we'll learn to handle those that we can't control with a more positive attitude and mindset.

Until next time, be sure to ....

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

CHANGE: Some You CAN'T Change!

"CHANGE: Some You CAN'T Change!"

In my last two blog articles and podcasts I've shared some thoughts concerning CHANGES. Wow, even though the word, "change" has six letters it sure can come across as a FOUR-LETTER WORD, can't it?

Before I go any further, let me list once again four different categories of the types of changes that we encounter in our lives:

TYPES OF CHANGES: (1)Those we voluntarily bring on ourselves... (2) those that we have no choice in but are not "against" us (change of seasons, life changes due to age, etc.)... (3)those that come at us DUE TO our actions and (4) those that come to us 100% involuntarily and at no fault of our own.

In my last discussion we covered the first one listed - changes that we voluntarily bring on ourselves. If you haven't done so, you might want to go back and read that blog article as well as listen to the podcast that goes with it. You can access that podcast via my website: http://www.futureyouuniversity.com/ .... just click on video podcast and then click on the iTunes icon or the RSS feed icon.

Today I'd like to talk about that second category - changes that come regardless of what we do or don't want but that are not "against" us...or at least not purposely so.

Hey, let's face it, there are some changes that come in our life that is just a part of LIVING life, right?

You can move around the country all you want to avoid the changing seasons but, whether we like it or not or whether we want it or not, the seasons DO change! I do enjoy the change from one to the other but I don't like the extreme heat and I don't enjoy the winter months for very long. Thankfully, since I live in Arkansas the winter months are not too severe and do not last long compared to other parts of the country. But, for me, once it snows one time I'm ready for Spring to arrive!

But you know what? I can complain and whine all I want and it's not going to CHANGE a thing concerning these changes. I can gripe and complain about the change in the fall and spring with the time (spring forward, fall back...or is it, uh....) but it won't do me any good if I choose to stay living in this part of the country.

But, you know what? For some, these changes DO have an adverse affect on them and there IS something that those people CAN do to change this impact upon them. MOVE!

Seriously, these things CAN be changed to your favor to some extent if you really need them to. For example, we have some older friends that now live in Arizona due to the wife having terrible arthritis. When they lived here in Arkansas her arthritis was TERRIBLE due to the humidity here but, when they would go out to Arizona for the winter her arthritis would improve greatly. So, although she couldn't get rid of her arthritis (another change that we cannot do much about or get rid of) she COULD improve her situation by living in Arizona. And that is exactly what they did - they moved to Arizona.

The same is true concerning the changing of the time. It has been proven that many suffer from greater bouts of depression during the winter months due to the extended darkness and the effects of "cabin fever" from having to stay indoors too much. These people can also improve their situation by moving to a different area of the country or world that either does not follow the time change patterns or that is in a warmer climate with extended day light hours.

So, you see, even with those changes that come our way without our choosing them, we can STILL do SOMETHING to help out IF we need to do so.

Or we can continue to whine and complain.

Shall we talk about the changes that come with getting older? Aches and pains WILL come along with fading eyesight and other problems.

It's a fact of life but there are SOME things we can do to improve our health instead of just giving up. Will we STOP these things from happening in our life? NO. But we can delay them or reduce the impact of them in and on our lives.

So, as you would think I would say about this, even if we don't have a choice in this area of CHANGE we DO have a choice concerning the IMPACT of this change.

Just give it some thought when you find yourself getting discouraged and/or complaining about such things and ask yourself if there is ANYTHING you can do to improve the situation.

I bet there is and I bet you can come up with some things if you really want to do so.

Should we even BEGIN to talk about gas prices?

That will have to wait until some other time, friend but, until then, whatever you do, wherever you are, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Changes: They Just Keep on Coming!

CHANGES: They Just Keep on Coming!

It's been a while since I posted my last blog article but my guess is that you have experienced several changes since that last posting, right?

As I said recently, the only constant thing about change is that it is constant! Things constantly change!

Hey, I have to brag for a moment... since my last article my wife and I (as well as our oldest son and his wife) have gone through a HUGE and WONDERFUL change! We welcomed our first little grandbaby girl into the world just a few short days ago. We told our son and his wife that their life is now changed forever - but it is a POSITIVE change that will be well worth anything and everything that comes about because of this change.

Now, you think for a few moments and try to think of how many changes have taken place in YOUR own life since my last article was posted back on November 11, 2011.

Well?

I can just about assure you that there has been more changes than you realized IF you really take the time to think about it.

Try to categorize those changes into the categories that I mentioned in my last article. In case you don't remember or don't want to go back and search, here they are:

TYPES OF CHANGES: (1)Those we voluntarily bring on ourselves... (2) those that we have no choice in but are not "against" us (change of seasons, life changes due to age, etc.)... (3)those that come at us DUE TO our actions and (4) those that come to us 100% involuntarily and at no fault of our own.

For today, let's discuss those in category 1: Those that we voluntarily bring on ourselves. A prime example would be the decision that my son and his wife made to have their first child. Voluntary for sure but a decision that will bring MAJOR CHANGE into their lives and, to be honest, not all of them will be changes that will always bring joy into their lives.

I talk to a lot of people that gripe and complain about situations in their life that, after talking to them for a bit and more information is revealed, are due to CHOICES that were made VOLUNTARILY by them! No one else FORCED them to make those decisions or choices.

I talked to a guy earlier today that wasn't complaining or griping but was telling me he was having to sell just about everything he had because he was out of work. Why was he out of work? Because he couldn't "take the crap" (his words) anymore so he quit.

It was his choice and I hope that he is happy with the choice that he made and I hope that he will be able to provide for he and his wife due to this voluntary change.

What changes have taken place in YOUR life due to YOU willingly, and voluntarily making a CHOICE that brought about this change?

Hey, bottom line: they don't always turn out the way we think, right?

Been there, done that!

So, key lesson with this: THINK AND THINK HARD BEFORE YOU MAKE THAT CHOICE!

Sometimes - many times - it is the RIGHT choice that needs to be made and, at other times, it's not necessary and is due to our impatience.

Think about it, examine the changes in your life that fit this category and see if there is some way for you to make the most out of the changes that you brought into your life voluntarily.

Sometimes it takes us being HONEST with ourselves and ADMITTING that we actually are the ones responsible for those changes EVEN IF THEY DON'T TURN OUT THE WAY WE WANTED OR EXPECTED!

Fair enough?

I hope to get a few more of these articles out sooner than I have been able to do so recently so be watching and listening to the podcasts that I will be recording with them. As always you can access all of this information at my website www.FutureYouUniversity.com

Take care, friend and, as always, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike