Saturday, December 3, 2011

CHANGES: I Screwed Up!


Now, hopefully you're really familiar with F.Y.U (Future You University) but I hope you're not TOO familiar with I.S.U. (I Screwed Up!).

But, let's face it, since we are all human we ALL spend time trying to deal with the consequences that come when we screw up, right?

Before I get too far into the discussion for today, let's take a look at the four types of changes that we face in our lives:

TYPES OF CHANGES: (1)Those we voluntarily bring on ourselves... (2) those that we have no choice in but are not "against" us (change of seasons, life changes due to age, etc.)... (3)those that come at us DUE TO our actions and (4) those that come to us 100% involuntarily and at no fault of our own.

If you haven't gone back and read the articles on the first two (and/or listened to the podcasts that go with them) then you might want to do that first to catch up with the discussion so far.

So, for today, we are going to talk about the 3rd category listed above: Those changes that come our way due to our own actions. In other words, changes that come when we SCREW UP!

Here's the deal even with this: too many people still try to blame other people or other circumstances for their own screw ups and won't take the action necessary to accept the blame, do what can be done to correct the mess and then move on!

Does that describe you? (*OUCH!*)

Hey, let's face's hard to ADMIT it when we suffer or those connected to us (spouse, children, friends, etc.) suffer due to our own screw ups! Seriously, who wants to admit to that?

But, it's necessary for us to wake up and realize that we have made a big mistake so that we can hopefully learn from it and avoid that same mistake in the future.

Have you noticed that those that fail to do this seem to keep making the same dumb mistakes over and over again?

Again, does that describe you?

If it does, DO soemthing about it and LEARN as you move forward.

Hey, let's face this fact too...sometimes we just make a wrong decision and we suffer CHANGES that aren't good for us or those that are around us. It's not necessarily a pattern in our lives but, nonetheless, it causes some problems, right?

Maybe you pulled your family up from where you lived and moved them across the country for a new job that you thought would be best for all of you and it turns out that it was, actually, a very poor decision.

This ties in closely with our last topic about those changes that come due to our voluntarily actions but, yet, it's a little different because, at times (unlike that last example) these changes come due to our stupidity.

A bit blunt, huh?

Sometimes an inablility to control our temper and/or our tongue results in changes due to that inability. Maybe you told your boss off and got fired. Now what?

Do that type of thing too many times and you will find it harder and harder to get hired by anyone!

I was talking to someone not too long ago that was complaining about their current situation so I asked them what their "ideal situation" would be. They described it to me and then said, "But I know that will never happen." When I asked them why they would say that here was their response: "Because of all of the stupid stuff that I keep on doing!"

Thing is, during the time period that I was having this discussion with this person they were still doing some of the same stupid stuff that was keeping them from their "ideal situation".


So, let's get on to thinking about some sort of solution to this mess. How does that sound?

FIRST, if you fit the type of scenario like the last guy I talked about then you MUST decide what is more important in your life....keeping on doing what you are doing and getting the same results OR starting to CHANGE your life so that you can IMPROVE your life. As you've heard many times before the very definition of insanity is to keep doing the same things over and over again and to expect different results.

Part of this solution is to begin to discipline yourself... your temper, your tongue, your attitude, etc. Only you can do it but this type of infomation and other positive information can help you in this endeavor.

SECONDLY, if you are suffering through change due to a misinformed decision then, most importanlty, admit that mistake - no matter how hard it is to do so - and start moving toward correcting and/or limiting the damage that comes to the change connected to that decision.

Part of that may be apologizing to those that are being impacted due to that decision. Simply and honestly tell them that you blew it and that you are sorry and that if there was any way for you to go back and erase it all, you would.

Thing is, you can't. You can simply try to improve your current situation.

Can I also help you face some reality? It may be something that can be corrected fairly easily and quickly but prepare yourself for those situations that will NOT be corrected easily OR quickly. The main thing in a situation like that is to keep yourself focused on a SOLUTION and to NOT focus on the mistake and what happened in the past.

YES, pay attention to the mistake so that you can learn from it and not repeat it in the future but DO NOT LINGER ON IT!

I'd be happy to discuss this with your further if you'd like to contact me via the website and share with me your situation.

Remember this: WE ALL SCREW UP sooner or later. The key is what we do AFTER that realization.

Hopefully, as we mature and learn the changes in our life that are due to our own decisions will be more positive than negative and we'll learn to handle those that we can't control with a more positive attitude and mindset.

Until next time, be sure to ....

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"


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