4th of 8 Things to Give Up



"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving." - Dale Carnegie

Hey friend, that quote applies to criticism of YOURSELF as well! You must learn to be "understanding and forgiving" of yourself as well as others. Bottom line is this: CRITICIZING YOURSELF AND OTHERS is another thing that you need to give up!

 

As I've pointed out before, all of these things work together and feed off of each other. These are ALL results of negative thinking so, if you are going to pick ONE to work on removing from your life first, THAT would be the one..."negative thinking".

 

YOU define what "success" means for you in your life. Whatever it is that you determine "success" to be, you will NEVER reach it as long as you hang on to these things that we have been discussing.

 

I want to make sure that you are getting the point: READING THIS BLOG as well as LISTENING TO THE PODCAST will DEFINITELY help you battle negative thinking and what comes from that type of mindset!

 

THAT IS A FACT!

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When you allow yourself to not only listen to, but believe criticism from others to the point that you begin to repeat it to yourself, you are doing yourself a great disservice and you are giving even more power to anyone that criticizes you. Read that sentence again - slowly - and let it sink in.

 

Remember, you are special and you are here - on this earth - for a REASON! Also remember: "God Does NOT Make Junk!" and you are of great value.

 

I can do all I can to help you by stating facts like this over and over again but, friend, YOU are the one that must begin to "walk" in this belief and to begin to "live" in this belief.

 

So, as far as criticism is concerned (whether of yourself or others), just give it up.

 

And, as you continue on this journey, always be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

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2nd of 4 Agreements (Don't Take it Personal)

 

- Nothing Others Do is Because of You -

- What Others Say and Do is a Projection of Their Own Reality, Their Own Dream -

- When You Are Immune to the Opinions and Actions of Others, You Won't Be

the Victim of Needless Suffering -

 

* * *

 

 

How easily do your "feathers get ruffled"?

 

When you see a group of people talking and you are not part of that group, do you think they are talking about YOU?

 

Are you easily offended?

 

Perhaps you take too many things personally. What do you say?

 

I really don't know what causes us to be that way sometimes and, obviously, some people struggle with this problem more than others but, bottom line is that it comes from a sense of insecurity that developed somewhere along the way.

 

Sometimes it may also be a part of growing up being told to behave in front of company or when at someone else's home or even (if caught doing something "wrong") being asked, "What would the neighbors think?"

 

I was a minister for years and, friend, when you are a minister you DO feel like you live in a "glass house"! When you literally watch over your shoulder and wonder what someone else will think on even the smallest of things it becomes easy to take things personally. It becomes EASY to always be concerned about what everyone else thinks.

 

I could spend a LOOOONG time on that but I choose to move on instead of focus on that part of my life. But, here is the question for you to consider: Have you put yourself - or allowed yourself - to be put "under the microscope" and, if so, WHY?

 

*NOTE: "Not caring about what anyone else thinks" can also take the role of being rude and inconsiderate. Be careful with that and help your children understand the difference. We do live in a society that seems to be losing a level of respect and consideration of others and developing more of a focus on ME, ME, ME.

 

Know this: There are some people that live simply to make those around them miserable. Why? Because they are miserable and can't stand to see anyone else happy. TRUE FACT!

 

Do not allow "the miserables" to drag you down with them and do NOT allow their opinions and lack of respect for themselves to bring you down to try to live according to their "rules".

 

I do know this...it seems that the older I get the easier it gets to not care so much about everyone else's opinion. I do my best to live an honorable, trustworthy and respectful life and I'm still working on that at times. But, friend, at some point, we must all learn to block out any negativity in any form that comes our way.

 

One way to do that is by doing exactly what you're doing right now....reading something POSITIVE that will help you in this battle.

 

Good job! Keep it up and, as you do so, always be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

 

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Einstein on Mistakes

So, would you consider Albert Einstein a smart man? SURE YOU WOULD!

 

Well, apparently he was smart in a LOT of areas, including this one because what he says is absolutely TRUE.

 

Yet, when you think about it, it's actually rather interesting. Why? Because anyone that never tries anything new not only AVOIDS mistakes (as discussed in the graphic above) but, actually, makes a HUGE mistake by that very action (or lack thereof)!

 

I know, I know, some of your heads are just spinning right now. :)

 

Sure, if one wants to avoid mistakes and even criticism, one might choose to do NOTHING. Yet, at the same time, they make a HUGE mistake in that way of thinking and, oftentimes, face criticism for doing nothing!

 

So, the way I see it is like this: if you're going to make a mistake and get criticized ANYWAY, why not make mistakes and face criticism for actually DOING something?

 

I think me and ol' Albert would have had a good discussion on this one! Now, as soon as he started talking about math.....that's a whole other story!

 

And, by the way, the podcast (links below) is completely different than what I just put in this article so be sure to check it out, o.k.?

 

Go for it, friend. Get out there and make those mistakes and get criticized for DOING SOMETHING! Every great person has been there, done that.

 

Now it's YOUR turn!

 

And as you get out there go for it, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

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FACING, ATTACKING and DEFEATING the FEAR of CRITICISM!

Hey friends - my apologies for not getting my blog up yesterday! Yesterday was one of those days that did not go quite as planned! Ever have one of those? (I know you have!).

Anyway, I will combine thoughts on not only the podcast for today but also combine it with some thoughts on yesterday's podcast ("Facing the Fear of Criticism").

I know that Napoleon Hill in this book, "Think & Grow Rich", calls the Fear of Poverty (the first of the 8 Ghosts of Fear) the most damaging and prevailing - and I can see his point because the fear of poverty and the desire for riches is a big reason our crime rate - at least here in America (but my guess is it's the same wherever you live) - is as high as it is. However, I would suggest that the FEAR OF CRITICISM is one that is the most widely shared and felt!

WE ALL DEAL WITH AND STRUGGLE WITH THIS FEAR!

We must all FACE this fear and decide to do something to defeat it! Has it not ruled and ruined our lives long enough? Have we not allowed this fear to rob us of our joy long enough? Have we not allowed this fear to stop us dead in our tracks long enough? Have we not allowed this fear to paralyze us from forward momentum long enough? YES, WE HAVE!

About a week ago I was having lunch with my friends from high school (you've seen their pictures shared on here before) when one of them was talking about visiting with the high school counselor during our Senior year. My friend said the "counselor" (and I use that term VERY loosely) sat him and another guy down together and basically said, "Well boys, about all I can tell you two is that neither of you are going to amount to much of anything!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

That criticism COULD HAVE frozen both of these guys - at a very young age - dead in their tracks IF they had chosen to take this criticism to heart and let this fear take root. However, I'm happy to say that neither of them did and they both are doing quite well today, thank you very much!

Here's what Napoleon Hill had to say about this fear of criticism: "This fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways."

Mr Hill also discusses the fact that "Criticism is the one form of service, of which everyone has too much. Everyone has a stock of it which is handed out, gratis [free], whether called for or not."

Isn't that the truth? As the old saying goes, "EVERYONE is a critic!" and we've all experienced that, haven't we? And, for whatever reason, many of us FEAR this criticism to the point that it prevents us from sharing our thoughts, ideas, plans and talents. What a shame.

I have discussed this very fact earlier in discussion of this book. Have you ever considered the fact that - for the most part - these critics have very little, if any, knowledge about that which they are sharing their criticism? Think about that and you will likely agree. Oh, I know that there are some with a boss that likes to use this fear of criticism to control those under him or her. But even if that situation, think about this - WHY do they find the need to do so? I would suggest to you that it is due to the fact that they, themselves, are AFRAID! Afraid of what? Afraid of you or another worker actually coming up with an idea or suggestion that is better than what they could have thought of themselves. That being so (and I do believe that it is) they, themselves bow down to the fear of criticism from whoever it is that is THEIR boss!

What a vicious cycle!

In the podcast for today (Thursday) I shared with you some thoughts from an article by Donald Trump in which he declares that the opposite of fear is FAITH! We have also discussed this fact before and I have shared this thought several times in my podcasts and blogs. Mr. Trump discusses the need for us to BELIEVE IN OURSELVES to the point of KNOWING that we do, indeed, carry within us the ability to achieve whatever the task may be. The way I have worded it over and over again is realizing that, "YES, YOU (I) CAN!"

This is also what is talked about in the earlier chapters of this great book on FAITH and also AUTO-SUGGESTION. We must all work to develop this deep-rooted FAITH or BELIEF in ourselves and our abilities to the point that our subconscious mind "automatically" kicks in and "reminds" us of this fact every single day and even many times throughout the day.

Here are the "symptoms of the fear of criticism" that Mr. Hill shares in this chapter (notice how many of them are tied together and try to identify these in your life - also go to the book for more descriptions about each one of these):

1. SELF- CONSCIOUSNESS (Why self-conscious? Not enough belief in yourself!)

2. LACK OF POISE (The physical manifestation of self-consciousness!)

3. PERSONALITY (These first two impact even your personality!)

4. INFERIORITY COMPLEX (Trying to appear to be something your not!)

5. EXTRAVAGANCE (Trying to "keep up with the Joneses" - tied in with #4)

6. LACK OF INITIATIVE (The idea of, "Why try? I'll just be criticized anyway.")

7. LACK OF AMBITION (I would suggest that this one is the "full-grown child" of #6)



HERE'S MY THOUGHTS ON DEFEATING THIS FEAR OF CRITICISM...

Yes, although it is good and at times, important to listen and take advice from others, STOP listening to everyone that criticizes you and STOP believing everything that "they" have to say! Who are they anyway? Instead, LISTEN TO YOURSELF and your inner voice telling you, "YES, YOU CAN!"

I know that is easier said than done - but it is a necessity for each of us to develop this and put it into practice!

Before you "blow this off" as just "fluffy talk" ask yourself this question:
- Are you working DAILY to instill this type of talk/inner belief into your life?
- IF NOT - (for one, WHY NOT?) then how can you "know" that it doesn't or won't work?
- If you are trying to instill this in your life, understand that it is a process that does take time! It doesn't happen overnight but that does not mean that it doesn't work or that you should give up!

My friend, criticism (and, as a result, the "fear of criticism") has been around since the beginning of time - it is nothing new.

But you MUST know that you CAN defeat this fear and you DO have within you the ability to do so! Thank you for allowing me to do my part in helping you cultivate that ability!

Do not allow others and their criticisms stop you from moving forward and making progress. FLY IN THE FACE OF CRITICISM! Soar and live the life that you were intended to live!

YES, YOU CAN!

And, along the way, remember...

"Make it an AWESOME Day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

The FEAR of CRITICISM!

Wow, think about this one!

This one impacts each and every one of us - even those of you that THINK that it doesn't!

All of us, at one time or another, have either NOT DONE something or HAVE DONE something due to the fear of criticism! I want to challenge you to think about this in your own life - try to find this in your own life so that we - together - can eliminate it from your life.

Again, some of you will say, "Oh, I'm not worried about what others think! I'm never effected by the fear of criticism!" I beg to differ. If I were able to spend enough time with you, I would be able to point out to you areas in your life where you allow this fear of criticism to reign supreme.

Some don't have to think about it at all. Some can tell you right away areas in their life that they struggle with this fear of criticism every single day!

WE WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK AND/OR WHAT THEY WILL SAY TO THE POINT THAT WE ALLOW THEM TO PARALYZE OUR LIVES!

Again, allowing others to control us when 1) they have no right or claim to do so and 2)we are the ones in control of our lives - no one else.

Oh, I know, point 1 in the above paragraph may cause much discussion because there are those that CLAIM to have a "claim" or "right" to control you. Your boss for example. But do they really have "claim" on your life or have the "right" to criticize you?

NO!

But too many of us ALLOW that to take place in our lives thus GIVING them access to the claim on our lives.

I also know that there are likely many women and children (and perhaps some men, as well) that have husbands and/or fathers (as well as some wives) that will tell them that they DO indeed have "claim" on their lives and the "right" to belittle and criticize them however they desire. THIS IS THE HARDEST CHAIN OF FEAR TO BREAK - this fear of a spouse or a parent and trying to avoid (at all cost) any criticism that may come from them.

But, have you noticed that, no matter what you do or don't do in this situation, the criticism will still come?

WHY? Because that person "in control" is WEAK! That is a fact!

They are WEAK and they feel "power" by trying to control you through fear - the fear of criticism.

O.k. we've identified the fact that all of us struggle with this (some more than others) - but we ALL do! (Hey, why do you wear the clothes you wear, drive the car that you drive and even eat at the restaurants that you chose?)

In Wednesday's podcast we will identify some of the CHARACTERISTICS of this FEAR of CRITICISM.

I welcome any and all feedback - I prefer you send it to my email at mike@futureyouuniversity.com

Thanks for taking the time to read this and, as always...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike