Seeing With NEW Eyes - The TRANSFORMATION (Part 4)

As always, if you haven't done so, be sure to go back and read the last couple of articles leading up to this one. I feel that the last one was particularly good.

And, by the way, it was completely different than what I had recorded earlier for the podcast on the same topic (part 3). That's why I strongly suggest that you also be sure to listen to the podcast (links below) to get a "full picture" of my thoughts as I continue to share on this topic.

You'll need to catch up to know what it is that I am discussing as far as this "TRANSFORMATION" that has been talking place in the lives of my wife and I over the past 7 - 8 months...and I'm not done yet!

This time, I begin by mentioning, again, that I had worked on a program that I felt very proud of and very strongly about concerning focusing on some main areas of our lives over the course of one year to see what kind of MAJOR impact/change it could have on our lives. "Project 141" means to focus on "1" thing once a day "4" - "1" full year. AWESOME! This was in November and December of 2020.

Now, fast forward to June of 2021 and, through a course of connections and other actions, I was introduced to a program (a "movement") that had been around for a number of years. Yet, I had never heard of it before and I was BLOWN AWAY when I discovered the main premise of this program. The idea is to focus on 7 main areas of our lives over the course of one year to see what kind of MAJOR impact/change it could have on our lives. Sound familiar? Oh, this program is called, "Oola". 

Take a look at the side by side comparison I put together to see how closely these two "programs" mirror each other and, yet, one had existed for years and the other (Project 141), 7 months before I ever had even HEARD of "Oola". 

 Coincidence? Some might think and/or say so but, what I have learned (and have said even before this that I believed) is that, in my opinion, THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS COINCIDENCES. 

**Want to hear something REALLY "coincidental"??? My wife is sitting in another chair reading a book while I am typing this article. She is actually reading, "The Attractor Factor" by Joe Vitale (which I will discuss further in this article) and I interrupted her reading and shared with her the "side by side" listings that you see above and then the paragraph right below that. She went back to her reading and started laughing and she told me that, the VERY NEXT SENTENCE that she read in this book mentioned something that caused Joe Vitale to ask, "Coincidence?" (In case you don't get it, read the first word in that sentence right below the graphic. 

THIS IS WHAT I'M TELLING YOU HAS BEEN GOING ON IN OUR LIVES OVER THE PAST 7-8 MONTHS! 

 During this past 7 - 8 month period this type of thing was happening literally every day and, sometimes, several times a day! The same scripture was being repeated to us over and over again from all different sources. I may have read a scripture in my Bible in the morning, heard the SAME scripture in a "randomly" scheduled podcast, heard it on an inspirational video that I watched and, then, the "preacher" focused on that exact same thing "at church" on Sunday! (This was especially true on the topic of "FEAR" that we especially noticed). 

 When I got done reading a book that I had gotten on the "Oola" program I began to search in my personal library for the next book that I was going to read. (I had committed to reading from a book - along with the Bible - EVERY day at the start of the year). I looked over my library 2 - 3 times not seeing anything that really caught my eye and then I decided to pull out the book I mentioned above by Joe Vitale, "The Attractor Factor". Now listen, some of you may already be "shutting the doors" to this because you may have a preconceived notion about what this book is - or isn't - about. I have to admit that I have had reservations on some of the things that I've been listening to (talked about in an earlier podcast and article) and, yes, even reading. 

QUESTION: If you ask for guidance and direction from God, are YOU shutting doors to things that He may be bringing across your path in order help do just that - guide and direct you???

Anyway, as I looked through the book I did notice that when I read it through the first time (back in 2007) when I first received the book that I had not underlined or highlighted one paragraph, sentence or even a single word! All I can say is, you should see that book now! "Underline City"!!

I know, without a doubt, that I was "supposed" to read THAT book at THAT time! There were just too many things that were "going along" with all of the other happenings in our life and it was continuing to impact me - and my wife - as we continued down this path. Accident? Coincidence? Again, I don't think so!

I'll close with one more example for this article but, know this, there are several more that I will be sharing over the next couple of articles. Here's the kicker: THEY STILL KEEP HAPPENING EVEN TO THIS DAY (remember my wife's reading that I mentioned earlier?). 

With this Oola program (by the way, let me know if you'd like to find out more...I've added a link to my website for more information on that program), I've been involved in what has been called an "Inner Circle Call" on Saturday mornings. On this particular Saturday morning I shared some thoughts that I had on the power that is found in Ephesians 3: 20-21 (look it up) and how it had impacted me that week when, one of the ladies on the call - B.J. - held up a mug that she had sitting on her desk with the EXACT same scripture on it! Again...you believe what YOU want to believe but, friend, I KNOW that it is NOT "just a coincidence". 

So, again, I'm going to ask the same question that I asked earlier... If you ask for guidance and direction from God, are YOU shutting doors to things that He may be bringing across your path in order help do just that - guide and direct you???

 Something to think about, isn't it? I'd love to hear from you and, if you would, please leave a note below the posting of this blog article link on my Facebook page (link below). I'd love to hear from you.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube    Project141  Oola Program

Seeing With "New" Eyes

Yes indeed, it HAS been a while since my last blog article! That was what one calls, "stating the OBVIOUS", right? 

I had been talking about doing another podcast and blog article for several weeks (months?) now and, the other day, I got a "nudge" from someone that shared their new podcast with me and I told her that she had inspired me to, once again, do something that I have always loved doing...sharing my thoughts and encouragement with you.

So, let's do a little "catch up" about where we left off and what has taken place over the last 6 months or so.

For the most part, I last shared information with you about my program that I called - and still call - Project 141. As a matter of fact, if you don't know what I'm referring to, click the link below this article and it will take you to all of the information about that program. (By the way, I went through all of the videos that I put together on that program recently and, I have to say that I was impressed with the amount of information as well as the QUALITY of the information that I shared about that program!) 

Now then, to be honest, I've not really done anything with the FINANCIAL aspect of that particular program...the "vehicle" that I had picked out for that particular section of the program, and that's o.k. I have actually followed along with the principles that I set out and have seen MASSIVE improvement in all areas of my life!

One last note (at least in this article) about Project 141...I'm not done with it yet! 

Now, let's fast forward 6 or 7 months AFTER the development of that program. This is when I was introduced to a program that I had never heard of but that been around for several years. What got my attention was the fact that there were 7 major "life areas" that they promoted as areas that we all need to focus on, work on and move forward on over the course of a year. WHAT????

I do not believe that this (or pretty much anything else) was a coincidence and I have been a part of that movement for the past month or so and it's been a real blessing in and for my life. 

In the podcast I use the analogy of what happens when you buy a "new to you" car (new or used). Now that you are driving this particular make and model of vehicle you now notice that there are a LOT of people driving that same make and model car. I mean, it's like they are EVERY WHERE!

Question: Are they "all of a sudden" all getting out on the road at the same time? Nope, they were there all along. Your focus was just not where it is now that you drive that particular similar vehicle! (What you focus on is what you will see!).

And it's not been just that happening that has gotten my attention (you REALLY need to listen to that podcast!). I will get into this with more detail in the next podcast and blog article but, needless to say, my wife and I have been experiencing the "there's another car like ours" syndrome for the past several weeks now and it's been very interesting!

Things that we hear said on a podcast that we listen to every morning. Something a minister says in a sermon or something that a friend posts on social media. Something that I read in a book and even the book that I chose to read in the first place! ALL OF THESE THINGS have been pointing to / calling my attention to the same "message" again and again and again.

I feel that we (my wife and I) are beginning to "see" with "new eyes". Again, go listen to the podcast to catch the full impact of what I am saying here. I will also try to clarify and expand on that very thing in the next podcast and blog article but, I will close with the following thought.

I think this may have been the same morning that I recorded my podcast the other day but it was just another of "those things" that literally "jumped up and down" and was asking me, "ARE YOU LOOKING? DO YOU SEE?"

I had come across a guy online that I had never heard of before and I clicked on a link and thought, "Well, let's see what this guy is peddling" and I was pleasantly surprised (and encouraged) with his main message. And, here's the kicker...the morning after I had "discovered" him is when I opened up an "auto-generated" email from him that listed - almost exactly - the same key areas that I had put together in Project 141 and also in this other program that I discussed. WHAT???? AGAIN???

When my wife came home from the gym, I called her over, showed it to her alongside a listing I had of those things in the other two programs and just sat back and watched as her eyes widened and she said, "That's crazy!" to which I replied, "You know, when you keep seeing this over and over again, it would be completely FOOLISH to ignore it and walk away."

Simple question: Are you foolishly ignoring what is being made clearly obvious to you at this time? Think about it and, until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube    Project141

THANKFUL for TODAY!

 This post is simple and to the point. There is no need for any further commentary. 

READ - CONSIDER - APPLY YOUR GRATITUDE!

                                                          

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141

Project 141 SUMMATION: VISION (Track It and Stack It!)

 "Where there is no VISION the people PERISH"  (Proverbs 29:18)

I've completed my articles on the expansion of "Project 141". If you've not done so, be sure to check it all out by going HERE and reading all of the previous articles as well as the podcasts and even some videos. The top half of what you find there is all about the initial information about my dream behind "Project 141" and the bottom half of that page/article is where you find all of the articles and podcasts on my expanded vision for "Project 141".

In a nutshell, the idea behind it is that you do ONE (1) thing every day to improve your life FOR (4) ONE (1) full year. BAM! 

This is DIFFERENT than your typical New Year's Resolution in more ways than one but, for one, it requires an absolute COMMITMENT from you to do this for ONE FULL YEAR!

And, friend, the only way for that to happen is to have a VISION and to MAKE A PLAN so that you CAN follow your path to your vision. In other words, "Where there is no vision, the people perish". Put yet another way, IF YOU DON'T HAVE VISION YOU WILL FAIL. No ifs, ands or buts about it. 

You also need to listen to the podcast on this topic by going HERE.

"Track it and Stack It!" What does THAT mean??? Follow me on this...

First of all, you must have a VISION of where it is that you are going. In this situation, we are talking about you dedicating yourself to do SOMETHING every day in these different areas (spiritual, personal development, health, relationships, community and wealth) for one full year.  If you don't know where you are going how will you know when/if you get there? 

If you are taking a trip and going somewhere that you've never gone before, how can you know if you are on the right road or not if you don't have a plan (map/gps) to follow? How will you know that you are on the right "track" any other way?

Here's your answer: YOU CAN'T!

So it is imperative for you to TRACK your actions and your progress so that you CAN reach your goal and your vision and STACK your results in these areas. So, yeah, go ahead and visualize it as a big stack of money that represents your success in these areas. "TRACK IT AND STACK IT!" 

So, talking about doing all of these things (Project 141) and deciding that, indeed, you WILL commit to do these things over the next full year is great, BUT, how will you go about developing the HABIT that is necessary to actually carry it through to the end?  

As I've basically already said, you must TRACK your activity in order to make sure you are moving toward your VISION. Then, you get the joy of "stacking" your gained results that have taken place over that time period!

It takes DISCIPLINE to follow through with these things for the next year...every single day.

 SUGGESTED ACTION PLAN:

If you can develop a plan of action that "fits" you better, go for it! However, consider at least the concept/idea behind this suggested action plan and go from there. Remember - EVERY day!

I have listed 6 different areas of focus with this expanded use of Project 141 but you have come up with more for your situation. But I will be using 6 in this example.  

You must get very SPECIFIC about your actions. This may be "difficult" (if you are not a very structured person) at first but, over time, you WILL develop the habit of doing these things without even having to think much about it. I will become something that you just simply "do" and that you "have" to do!

For example, take the first 3 areas (spiritual, personal development, health) and make a commitment that you will do SOMETHING in these areas before noon (for example). SET A TIME to make it specific and easier to measure. Then, decide that you will complete the last 3 areas (relationships, community and wealth) by 1 p.m.

Again, the order of events and the "time of completion" are flexible but, do pay attention to the fact that the later in the day that you put as "time of completion" the less likely you are to complete that task.

I suggest that you even break these time frames down even further. For example,  on the first 3 that you plan to accomplish no later than noon, set a specif "no later than" time for each of these. "I will do something to strengthen my spiritual life by 8 a.m." or "I'm going to do something (read something/listen to something) in the area of personal development by 10 a.m." and then, "I'm going to do something to improve my health no later than noon". 

YES, IT IS IMPORTANT TO GET THAT SPECIFIC in order for you to develop a habit and to succeed!

Now, follow up at the end of the day - BE TRUTHFUL and HONEST - and check off as to whether you did or didn't accomplish that action. If you didn't complete your task, don't make excuses but maybe write down WHY you didn't. Again, BE HONEST and you likely will see how "weak" your "reason" for not accomplishing this task really was. On the other end, if you DID complete your task, check it off as such and also make a little note about how THAT makes you feel. "I feel really good that I disciplined myself to follow through and DO what I had planned!" 

That's it! Be sure to record the date that you began taking this on so that you can gauge your improvement one year from this starting date. 

I'd love to hear of your journey with "Project 141". I'd love to hear of your ups and downs and how YOU have made this your own...especially in the area of "COMMUNITY".

YOU GOT THIS!

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141

 

 

 

Project 141 Expanded: COMMUNITY

Project 141 Expanded Application:"Do 1 thing a day, week or month for others (community)"

 As I continue to discuss the expanded application of "Project 141" (do 1 thing per day 4-1full year in different areas of your life in order to improve and strengthen those areas), I will focus our attention, today, on the area of "Community".

I want to define or clarify my use of the word "community" as it relates to this approach. 

Yes, it can definitely attach itself to the idea of a neighborhood or town but it can also simply refer to others that may have a need. This can be a group of people (such as the community in which you live) or a person or organization that you can do something to contribute to in one way or another. 

Keep those two ideas in mind as you read through the rest of this article and push yourself to even consider applying BOTH "definitions" of the word, "community" into your application of "Project 141".

If you have read and/or listened to the previous articles/podcasts about this expanded use of Project 141, you should recognize these two questions used today as being a version of the first two questions that we have asked about our different relationships. Use these and add your own thoughts as a way to "spur you on" to ACTIVELY do SOMETHING in this area. 

    -------------APPLY THESE QUESTIONS TO TODAY'S TOPIC---------------

 WHAT DO I DO TODAY TO IMPROVE THIS COMMUNITY (or specific situation - R.A.K.)?

WHAT DO I DO TODAY TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS COMMUNITY (or specific situation)?  ---- am I just going to whine and complain about "something needs to be done" or will I be a part of doing what needs to be done?

NOTE: Of the different areas that I am using in this extended application, THIS is the only one that I would suggest that it is o.k. to do something once a week or even once a month.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The "Random Act of Kindness" approach to "community": The actual description of this section states: "Do 1 'Random Act of Kindness' per day/week or month (whichever fits you)". I love this idea and, if you've never done anything like this before, SO WILL YOU!

Using the two questions above, approach it as: "WHO do I know that I can do SOMETHING for that would help improve their current situation?" This doesn't have to be something huge. It can a simple phone call and just spending a few minutes chatting with them. This is especially true of elderly people that have been confined at home due to the current pandemic. This could also be a young mother that is overwhelmed trying to juggle taking care of toddlers while, at the same time, trying to work with the "virtual learning" situation going on again, due to the pandemic.  

Want to REALLY have some fun with this? Find a way to do something and remain ANONYMOUS. Maybe you've come across a little extra money (even something like $20) that you think would help out with some gas for the car or for a meal. Then find someone else and ask them to deliver it for you or drop it off with a card where you KNOW they will find it. I once had the opportunity to deliver $100 to a lady. It was not my $100 but I got the joy of seeing joyful tears roll down her cheeks when I told her that someone wanted me to come by and give that gift to her.  

When you get someone else involved you add another layer to the process. Think about this: the person that you brought the gift to gets blessed, YOU get blessed by doing something like this and the person that you chose to deliver the gift also gets blessed by being a part of the process and seeing that person's response! WOW! And, the person you chose to help you may now want to do that with someone else, themselves, which means that you have added another person to the "Project 141 Expanded/Random Act of Kindness Army"!

 The "This is the neighborhood/community in which I live" approach to "community": Have you ever found yourself saying, "Somebody really should do something about that" concerning something that you've come across...particularly in your neighborhood or community?

What are you waiting for or, more precisely, WHO are waiting for to get it done?

Hey friend, what about YOU? What about YOU getting others together to help out? Chances are, if YOU have noticed something that needs to get done, others have as well and it might simply take YOU to serve as the "spark" to bring people together to get something done.

For example, a few years back, I found myself griping and complaining about something that, obviously, bothered me. I had griped and complained about it before (even to management in a certain store) but had never thought about if there was some way that I could do something to make a change. 

With those thoughts in mind, I put the graphic you see below together to challenge myself to DO something and to stop just TALKING about it.

If you find yourself doing the same thing then, friend, perhaps it's time for you to change your thinking as well. If you feel the task is "too big" for you alone then talk to others about it, brainstorm together and see what ideas come together that can help with a solution. 

But, here's the kicker on ALL applications of this approach to "community"...you have to do more than just "talk about it". Here's another graphic that I put together several years ago about that very thing...

"When all has been said and done, that which has been said will be of far less value than that which has been done." - Mike Spillman

"ONE can do much but, MORE THAN ONE can do MUCH MORE!" - Mike Spillman

"This neighborhood/community has too much litter!" - DO something!

"This neighborhood/community has too many yards with tall grass!" - DO something!

 

KEY: Not, "Why isn't someone else doing?" but, rather, "What can I do?" 

Whether along the lines of "Random Acts of Kindness" or the "Neighborhood/Community" approach (and, by the way, they can DEFINITELY overlap), make plans to keep your eyes open for the opportunity to serve and then...DO SOMETHING once a day, week or, at the least, once a month to make a difference!

You can do this!

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141

 

Project 141: RELAIONSHIPS (Part 3: Family, Friends, CoWorkers)

 

So, you should already know what I'm about to say as you get ready to read this article...have you already read parts 1 and 2? If not, go do that first. If you have, then welcome to part 3!

And, while you are at it, be sure to check out the podcast by clicking HERE.

In this article we are going to look at our "Project 141" expansion application to the area of relationships and, more specifically, your relationships with family, friends, coworkers and even your boss. Yep. Even your boss.

I'm also going to use the exact same graphic that I used in part 1 of this section when I discussed your relationship with your spouse/mate. Here it is:

 Here's the kicker, friend...THESE 3 QUESTIONS can be (should be) applied (considered and acted upon) to ANY relationship that you value. Yes, even your relationships with your coworkers and your boss.  "Wait a minute, Mike, I wouldn't say that I 'value' my relationships with my coworkers and, for sure, I'm not sure I'd say that about my boss!"

Let's think about that for a moment. When you go back and reconsider the importance of guarding and protecting your mind (personal development) and, along with that, you throw into the mix a group of people that you likely spend more time with than anyone else...shouldn't you "value" that relationship to the point of at least wanting to make them the best possible? Do you REALLY want to "add on" to the negativity that wants to consume you ever day as it is?

And, when you consider that your "boss" or manager or whoever it is that is in a position to promote you or fire you, is a part of your "work life", wouldn't it make sense to try to make that relationship as positive and productive as possible?

I've shared this example before but I feel it needs to be shared again in this discussion. Years ago my wife went to work for a store and was warned on her first day to "stay clear" of the assistant manager because she was grouchy and negative. Yes, on day one. Little did those that said those things know that, for my wife, they simply presented a challenge for her. Her thought was, "I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make her (the assistant manager) smile each day that I'm here at work". 

And, take a wild guess what happened...she accomplished her goal of putting a smile on that assistant managers face every day that my wife worked with her. No, it was not an immediate change but, day after day, when my wife would say something positive to her with a HUGE smile on her face, the assistant manager had no choice but to smile back with a positive response. And that's not all. To the shock of all of her coworkers (who were already in shock at what all had happened), this assistant manager hand-knitted a "blanket or throw" for her and told her how much she appreciated her. 

WOW! Talk about my wife doing something DAILY to improve her relationship with this assistant manager. What an incredible change!

I'm not telling you that this will always be the type of reaction that you can expect but, at the same time, I can pretty much promise you that there WILL be some positive change and improvement in that relationship.

So again, regardless of whether you are talking about friends, family, coworkers or, yes, even your "boss" it is important to apply these same 3 questions on a DAILY basis:

     1. What do I do TODAY to IMPROVE this relationship?

     2. What do I do TODAY to BE INVOLVED in this relationship?

     3 What do I do TODAY to make ______________ glad that they are a part of this relationship?

Notice that, in all 3 of these questions, the question is NOT, "What do THEY do..." but, rather, "What do I do". This is a key ingredient in this "exercise" - this must be turned "inward" and applied to YOU taking the action and not waiting on the other person and/or blaming the other person. That is about what YOU need to do and what YOU need to do TODAY.

1. How do you improve or "make better" your relationship with your friends, family, coworkers and your boss/employer? How can you be a better friend, family member, coworker and employee?

2. What do you need to do to make sure you are "involved" (engaged) in these same relationships? For example, at work, are you there just to "get the check" or are you involved/engaged in a way that shows you are dedicated to doing your absolute best at whatever your position may be there. Are you one that constantly whines and complains or are you one that, again, is focused on "turning off" the negativity that surrounds them and is focused on doing their job to the best of their ability?

3. What do you do TODAY to make (fill in the blank) GLAD that they are a part of this relationship with you? Are your friends - especially your really close friends - GLAD that you are their friend? Are you "involved and engaged" in that friendship or are you only "connected" when you want/need something? What are the "needs" that your family has at this stage of your life. Are you fully engaged in whatever role that might be and are they glad that you are a part of your family? And, yes, even with your coworkers and your "boss"...do they like to see you come into a room or are they happier when you leave? Is your employer GLAD that they hired you or do they regret that move?

Do NOT take the power behind these 3 questions lightly! They ARE, indeed, POWERFUL but only if you take them seriously and honestly answer and  apply what you need to do.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141

Project 141: RELATIONSHIPS (Part 2..."The Worksheet")

 

It is absolutely necessary for you to read Part 1 BEFORE you get into this article. Get it? Got it? GOOD! I "set the table" for this continuation of those thoughts found in that article.

This part is going to be a little bit different than I had originally planned to incorporate into this section on "Relationships". I do that. My mind says, "Hey, let's delve into THIS a little more" and, next thing you know, I've started making my article longer than planned.

I did record a podcast yesterday that combines both parts 1 and 2 of this part on "Relationships". You can find that podcast HERE. 

Right off, let me emphasize that I am NOT an "expert relationship counselor" or anything like that. I have done quite a bit of marriage counseling from when I was in ministry and I also have 39 years of marriage that brings with it a lot of "first-hand" knowledge in this area.

Again, be sure to go back and read the first part of this series before going any further. This is simply another suggestion that you may want to take a look at and consider in the area of doing something to improve your relationship with your spouse. 

KEY THING TO CONSIDER: Should you go through the information for this "worksheet" by yourself or with your spouse? Here's what I suggest...

If your relationship is currently in a "contentious state" (problems) then I suggest that you do this on your own and be completely honest in all of your answers. Make sure you understand that this exercise is an "inward focusing" exercise. In other words, this is not something for you to do to "point fingers" at your spouse and play the "blame game". If you are not willing to look inwardly during this exercise then, friend, I suggest that you just move on and do some serious thinking about how serious you really are about your relationship.

Blunt, huh?

Now then, IF the two of you are working together on improving your relationship then, you may consider doing this together as long as you still understand that this is an inward-looking exercise and not something designed to "lash out" or try to hurt the other. 

So, here we go and I do suggest that you listen to the podcast on this as well. The verbal along with the written many times make things a little clearer and easier to understand.

Take a few minutes, get out a piece of paper and divide it into 3 columns. First, write down on the left hand side of your paper (1st column)  all of the things that you remember about your spouse that caused you to "fall in love" with them. Then, make a "middle column" and simply answer "yes" or no" to the question: Is this the same? Are those traits still there? (or however you want to word it). NOTICE: I did not say do you FEEL the same way about that...I asked if those traits were actually still there. BIG DIFFERENCE.  Then, make a 3rd column and answer the question if the "change" that has supposedly taken place is due to your spouse or you. In other words, IF there was a change, WHY was there a change?

 Here's an example I put together just to help you out. Make this YOURS and make sure it applies to YOUR situation and, again, MAKE SURE YOU ARE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF!

Let's just use the first entry as an example. In the example above, one of the traits that is listed as something that you "fell in love with" early on was the fact that they were "good looking". Great! Now then, in the 2nd column the question is asked, "Does this trait still exist" or "Is this still true?" The answer I listed - purely as an example - was, "Yes, but different". In other words, "Yes, they are still good looking but in a different way" which leads to column 3 asking, "If there IS a change then, What changed? Who changed? Why the change?" and the very simplistic answer I listed was, "AGE caused the change". 

I'm not trying to over simplify this but to simply give you some ideas. Your "reasons" as to the "why/who/what" may go much, much deeper and that's o.k. Use as much space as you need to write down what you honestly feel and think on this (and ALL of these areas). But, it is very important that you also look at yourself in this and also ask if YOU have changed in this same area as well. In other words, "Hey, have YOU looked in the mirror lately?" This is both PHYSICALLY (you've gotten older as well!) and also taking a look at who you really are on the inside (has your love matured over the years or are you still stuck on things such as "good looks"). 

The real "dig down deep" part of this worksheet is column 3. If you are filling this out by yourself, then say absolutely whatever you feel without worrying about hurting the other's feelings. If you do this, make sure that they DO NOT read this right now!

But, if you are going to do that then, friend, you MUST zero down and look inwardly and ask WHY you feel this way and you may want to do a LOT of "self-examination" on this and see what YOU need to change in this relationship. 

Bottom line: NEITHER OF YOU are the same person that you were when you first met. And, to be honest, you should be glad that you are not, IF you have matured and grown in your life. 

When you do this exercise, I suggest that you ask God to help you "see with new eyes" as you look at your spouse. In other words, sometimes people get fixated on how things "used to be" and, once again, as a reminder, NEITHER of you are the same person that you were before. It's easy for us to get critical of our mate due to things that have taken place over the years that also have impacted us as well. 

Let this worksheet be a GOOD thing in and for your life and relationship. If you approach it the way I suggest and, if you ask God to guide you and help you through the process, I believe it can do just that.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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Project 141: RELATIONSHIPS

 

RELATIONSHIPS. They come in all "shapes and sizes", don't they? You have your relationship with your spouse, your parents, your in-laws, your kids, their spouses once they get older, your siblings, co-workers, your boss and just friends, in general. 

I will try to cover several of these areas over the next few blog articles but, as you can probably tell from the picture above, I'm going to start off talking about your relationship with your spouse. Yes, you can re-word that however you want and apply it however you want, but I think you get the idea.

That picture is actually the shadow of my wife and I from a couple of weeks ago when we were out on a day trip. We were actually taking a "selfie" with some beautiful scenery behind us when I noticed the shadow and decided I wanted to take a picture of that as well. 

We will have been married for 39 years toward the end of this coming May. Wow! She's getting old! Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, that's a long time to be with someone but, at the same time, her parents have been married for 70 years!!

Straight up...it has NOT been easy! There have been times over the years that both of us "got lazy" and took each other for granted. We have been separated on two different occasions (5 weeks was the longest) and were even on the brink of divorce during that longest period.

But, we are still here and, to be honest, we are STRONGER than ever before...but not by accident. It has taken determination, patience and, plain old WORK!

That is the purpose of talking about my "Project 141" application to this area of RELATIONSHIPS.

With the application of the idea behind "Project 141" be sure to do at least ONE (1) thing every day FOR (4) ONE (1) full year. Yes, every - single - day. At LEAST once a day!

Look at the graphic I put together a few years ago to get a few ideas of a few questions that you might want to consider...

Again, I know some of you would want to list "RELATIONSHIPS" in my list further up the list and that's o.k. Like I've already stated, I put them in this order for a reason and, as a way to recap, here's is my reasoning behind the order of this list.

In my opinion, your SPIRITUAL life/connection should always be #1 on your list. Want to know how to have better relationships? Check your "owners manual" (the Bible) for your directions. Want to improve your "PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT"? Again, check the "owners manual" which, if you go back and read, I pointed out over 3 articles on that specific area on this list. Why did I not put "relationships" in front of either of these. An improved spiritual life/connection will improve every area of your life. In my opinion, working on improving yourself (personal development) and your mind, mindset and attitude will do nothing but improve all of your relationships as well. 

Test me on this and see what you discover.

You CAN NOT take your relationships (ANY of them) for granted! I know it may sound corny but, yes, you need to treat your relationships as if they were a tender plant that needs your attention. Specifically, as we talk about your relationship with your spouse, you must take DAILY care and NEVER take it for granted. If you see this relationship starting to "wilt", don't wait! Let this be a "warning sign" to you that it is in need of some "nourishment" and get at it, friend!

A few years ago, I began writing little notes for my wife and leaving them around for her to find. Actually, this began when we were separated and I knew I had best figure out a way to get her attention and let her know how much I DID love her and how much I DID cherish her and NEED her.  Guess what? After a little while, she started leaving me notes as well.

This might be something that you consider doing for YOUR spouse. Get creative as WHERE to leave the note to surprise your spouse.

Let me emphasize this point. Yes, it's GREAT to leave notes like this but DO NOT allow these notes take the place of you VERBALLY telling your spouse that you love them. SAY the words, "I love you!" no matter how uncomfortable that may be for you at first --SAY IT!

Remember, CHANGE IS NOT EASY and, as "silly" as it may seem to some that are already in the habit of doing things such as this, if you are NOT used to doing so, it WILL take effort and discipline to do SOMETHING every single day!

Here's another suggestion for you if you are finding that you "don't feel" the same way that you used to when you first met. For one, understand that NEITHER of you are the same person that you were when you first met! THIS IS KEY! 

In my next article, I'm going to continue this discussion and share with you a suggested "work sheet" to really "break this down" (the idea stated in the last paragraph) and hopefully help you and your spouse strengthen your relationship.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

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Project 141: HEALTH

Don't worry, I'm not going to give you a routine of exercise and a diet to follow in this blog article. Hopefully, you have already discovered that in my approach to expanding "Project 141" to these areas of your life. It's not about HOW MUCH you are doing but, simply, getting into the habit of doing SOMETHING in these areas each and every day for the course of a year. 

Some may feel that I need to put "health" at the top of the list but, again, I put them in the order that I have for a reason. It really doesn't matter how physically fit you are or how good of health you are in if you are missing out on your connection in your spiritual life and if you are not working on your personal development. Oh, I know it makes a difference as far as how long you MIGHT live. But you still won't be living the life that you COULD live, friend.

I'm not a dietician and I struggle with my weight. I've had success in the past, even losing 100 pounds over a 13 month period but, like many, about half of that slowly came back on me. Hey folks, I LIKE TO EAT! And, on top of that, the kind of stuff I like to eat tends to be your "southern-type" foods...fried chicken, mashed potatoes, fried catfish, fried, fried fried. 

I also have diabetes and high blood pressure as a result of eating this way for most of my life. I am doing better than I have done in the past but I still have to really focus on improving what I'm doing with and for my health each and every day. 

The #1 "New Year's Resolution" has to do with weight loss and maybe you are one of those people that have hopped on that same bandwagon year after year after year with little to no success. Truth be told, most of the time you never really put a lot of effort and/or determination into the process, right?

I do know this for a fact: What you put into your body and how much you "work" your body (exercise) makes a BIG impact on how you think and feel. Again, that is a fact!

I suggest you make a decision to do ONE thing in the area of exercise per day and ONE thing in the area of "making a better choice" when it comes to your diet. Nothing major, nothing difficult....just one thing.

Let me prepare you with this right up front...CHANGE IS NOT EASY!

Here are a few suggestions and I'd love to hear YOUR suggestions as well...

     In the area of exercise: If you are able to park your car further away from the door at work, do it. If you can, park further away from the main entrance at any store, the post office and basically, anywhere and everywhere that you must park. It's really a simple task but, friend, let me tell you, the "old you" is going to keep telling you that you don't really want to make that extra effort. But, come on...you gotta' get started with something!                                                                                                                            Also, if you do have some exercise equipment that you've turned into a place to drape your clothes, clean that sucker off and start using it! You don't have to "go crazy" on it but just start doing a little bit of time on it...do SOMETHING! For example, I have a "Total Gym" that I bought several years ago and was really doing good using until I hurt my back one day and had to stay off of it for a while. But, I didn't need to stay off of it for as long as I did. It was hard for me to convince myself that I needed to actually DO something instead of just telling myself that I "needed to". When I was working out on it before, I would spend about 30 minutes on it and, to be honest, now with a different job, I really didn't want to get up 30 minutes early to do that and I sure didn't want to come home after a day of work to do my workout. So I decided to reduce the amount that I had done before and simply get up 15 minutes earlier for my workout. The main thing is that I am forcing myself into getting into the habit of doing the exercise and, on top of just getting into the habit, I know it is doing me some good physically.  There are all kinds of things that you can do just to get into the habit (that's the key, do not let this be a 1 or 2 week effort) of doing something once a day over the next year. Just get up and walk around your office during the day. Yes, take the stairs instead of the escalator even though your "old you" will tell you not to do so. Hey, you CAN do this and it WILL make a difference!

   In the area of making smarter food choices: Again, remember, I struggle with this BIG time! Like I've already said, this does not have to be something dramatic that causes you to get stressed out but it does need to be something. For example, popcorn is not that big of a deal but I was eating at least one bag - and sometimes two - every night. I stopped that a long time ago. Interestingly, I did have a bag a couple of weeks ago and, guess what? After I finished it, I really wished I hadn't eaten it. It didn't taste that good to me and I actually felt "blah" when I was done.                                                                        I like sweets! I haven't restricted myself completely from that but I am trying to do better with that (remember, I am a diabetic) than I have in the past. A few years ago I had my wife cut her cake recipes in half so that I wouldn't be tempted to eat so much cake when I asked her fix me something sweet. And now, I've even gotten to where when I ask her to do that, I will eat some on the first night and end up asking her to take it to her mom and dad. I don't want it any more.  

Things that you may consider small are really what I'm talking about here. Just like the exercise, it's all about getting in the habit and THINKING about what you are doing. Are you in the habit of going through that coffee shop drive-through in the morning and getting one of those "milkshakes-disguised-as-coffee" drinks? Maybe start off not doing that for even one day and then two and...eventually you will break the habit of that expensive (money and physical) habit. 

Here's another for you that may be hard for you at first because of how "addicted" you may be to it...cut out colas of any kind. Sure, you may need to do the gradual reduction thing like I mentioned in the previous paragraph but, at the same time, you may want to just drop it "cold turkey" and see how quickly you begin to feel better.  Again, you CAN do this and it WILL make a difference!

This expanded use of "Project 141" is designed to help all of us operate at the "best us" level that we can and doing better in this area is a vital part of that process.

I want to hear from you. What things can you help add to the list of "doing something once a day" that would help and maybe even inspire others? If you would, you can leave a comment here but I would prefer for you to go to my Facebook page and leave your comments there. 

Next, I will be discussing this approach with our relationships. I hope you will join me.

Until next time, always remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

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Project 141: PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT (Part 3: REFILL)

 

 Again, if you've not done so, be sure to go back and read parts 1 and 2 of this article. Part 1 can be found HERE and Part 2 can be found HERE.

In the last article I discussed the "RELEASE" part of the "Release and Refill"  concept found in the following scripture. Be sure to go back and read it so that you can make the "connection" on these two parts.

 Philippians 4: 6-8. Here is that passage again:

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

 

 

So, understanding (or at least acknowledging) the idea that we must RELEASE the worry from our lives in order to help improve our mind, mindset and attitude we must also understand/acknowledge the idea that we must then REPLACE that "void" that has been left by removing that habit of worry from our lives. And, verse 8, tells us EXACTLY what we need to be using to REPLACE that "void".

In order to develop ourselves, personally, we must improve and, usually, CHANGE our mind/mindset. Before we can change our life we must first change us - ourselves. And it all begins with this change of mindset and attitude.

Instead of focusing our thoughts on those things that we tend to worry about, we now need to begin to focus on things that are TRUE. Obviously, we want to avoid focusing on things that are untrue (lies) in our world. We are SURROUNDED by these lies from all angles and in regards to just about every area that we encounter each and every day. But, as we think about changing our mind and mindset and, as a result, our attitude, we must understand that we must reject the lies that we may believe about ourselves and our abilities.

Again, you don't have to agree with me friend but, in my opinion, there is no better way to do that than to spend time in the Word and to allow God - your Creator - to tell you what He thinks about you. The TRUTH and not the lies that we may want to believe instead. One of my daily affirmations that I created several years ago states this fact: "I AM ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH AND DO GREAT THINGS!" while one that I added later also states, "I AM A CHILD OF GOD, THEREFORE I AM AMAZING!"

It is important to focus on this TRUTH in and for your life!

 

Paul then encourages us to think or focus on that which is NOBLE. Simply put, think of it this way - choose to think and focus on what is BETTER and ABOVE the "normal" activity and thoughts that surround us each day. We must "rise above" the negativity that surrounds all of us and begin to focus on BETTER thoughts and ideas. Don't allow yourself to "think and act" like everyone else. Friend, you are NOT "everyone else" and, to be blunt, you are BETTER than everyone else because "everyone else" tends to just "go with the flow" and THAT AIN'T YOU!

Now then, it is also important that we fill that void with what is "JUST" or, maybe better understood as what is "RIGHT". Wow, just typing those words may even stir up a hornets nest with some people because many in our world today do not like ANYONE pointing out the fact that, indeed, there IS right and wrong in our world. Yes, all of these things are very closely related and, again, the main point of this is the fact that, in order to improve your mind, mindset and attitude (which means you are improving YOU overall) we must discipline ourselves to THINK DIFFERENTLY than others. And, most likely, differently than you have focused your thought before. Don't be thinking of ways that you can take advantage of people in your work (this applies in a LOT of ways, friend) but, rather, by thinking about what is true, noble and just (right) you begin to think about how you can help others and be of service to others. WOW! What a change in mindset, wouldn't you agree?

And, finally, think on things that are PURE, LOVELY and of "GOOD REPORT". It's a mind shift! Get rid of all of the "garbage" that you have allowed into your mind (this is a DAILY process, by the way) and allow your mind to begin to think and focus on what is PURE and LOVELY! Also, again being closely related is the encouragement to think/focus on things that are of "GOOD REPORT" or things that are positive, uplifting and encouraging. The other side of this? You already know.

I know I've already said it but let me say it again. You may not believe in God or the Bible, but I do and I believe that it is my calling to share with you how this can help you in every area of your life. 

When I started this section on PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT I did not plan to have 3 parts on this but I felt that I needed to share with you as much as I could in this area. As I discussed in part 1, "personal development" is closely connected with the Spiritual aspect that we talked about in part 1.

Bottom line, as I discuss my "expanded" use of Project 141, I encourage you to do SOMETHING (at least 1 thing) in the area of "personal development" every day for the next year and see what happens in and for your life.

I'd love to get some feedback from you about what you've read so far in this new series talking about this "expansion". I always love to connect with my readers and I'd love to do that with you.

Always remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141