Postive Mindset 101 (Part 4): The MIND Field of RELATIONSHIPS

 

Have you read the previous articles in this series? If not, you won't be successful in your desire (IF you have the desire) to actually develop a positive mindset.

Have you listened to the podcast and/or watched the videos that go along with each of these articles in this series? If not, why not? I don't follow a script so, EACH ONE OF THESE avenues for each episode will always have some additional/different information that you won't find in the other avenues. TRUE FACT!

ARE YOU DOING THE HOMEWORK that is discussed? Again, if not - WHY NOT? Are you SERIOUS about learning how to DEVELOP (and MAINTAIN) a positive mindset or is this just a "half-hearted" approach that likely is reflective of your yearly shortcomings with "New Year's Resolutions"?

In this part of this series, I'm first talking about those relationships that you have that are, for the most part, by choice. Your friends (your closest friends to other friends that aren't as close) and anyone else that you have "connections" with NOT INCLUDING those that you have through work or that are what I refer to as "FORCED Relationships". 

Now then, you may even include the relationships that you have with family in this first application. Oh, I know that you might argue that your relationship with family is not by choice. I get that and, honestly, the category of "family" will be applied in THIS part as well as in the next when I discuss those "Forced Relationships". 

O.k.? Got it? (Again, be sure to listen to the podcast and/or watch the video - links below - which may help you "grasp" this even better).

Here's your "homework"...

1. For now, just brainstorm and write down anyone that you can think of when you consider those relationships that you have that are by YOUR choice. Again, those closest to you and even those that aren't as close but with which you still choose to connect. Yes, go ahead and enter any family members that, as best as you can, you would say that you "choose" to spend time around.  Go ahead...write them all down and get specific by actually writing down their name.

2. As you look at the list that you just put together (obviously, don't move to this step until you have completed step #1...yes, you can add others later as you think of them and adjust each of these things as necessary) I want you to rate them from 1 - 10. This means that "1" would be the low end of helping you have a positive mindset. "10" would be on the high end. So, for example, someone that you would rate as a "1" would be someone that has an absolute NEGATIVE influence on your life...the WORST! And, on the other end, a "10" would be someone that "lifts you up" and makes you just "feel good/better" just by being around them. Rate each person on this part of this list based on the scale that I just defined.

3. Once you have completed step #2, now take the time to write down WHY you gave each person the ranking that you did. If you ranked someone at a "6", write WHY you did so. Be specific as possible. 

4. Pay close attention to these last two steps! NEXT, besides each name and ranking, try to estimate how much TIME you spend with them on a weekly basis (estimate how much each day you spend and then add them up for seven days).

5. Finally, it's time to "sort them out" and I want you to do this TWO DIFFERENT WAYS:                      

    a.) Group them by "ranking". In other words, group all of your 7's together and, put all of your 4's, etc. in a different grouping together. Got it?                                                                                                           

     b.) NOW make another LIST based on the amount of time that you spend with each person in a week. The first on your list should be the one that you spend the MOST time with and on down to where the last one on your list should be the one that you spend the LEAST amount of time with. (Yes, be sure to include time that you spend on the phone, chatting via text or social media, etc.) ALSO, beside each name and the amount of time that you sped with them, be sure to also list their "ranking number" that you gave them. 

 Here's a couple of examples:

 That's it for now. You SHOULD be able to start seeing what I'm doing here and that YOU are going to have to make some DECISIONS on who you are allowing into your life based on their impact on your mindset - positive OR negative!

Based on how much TIME you spend with the people on your list, how healthy is it  - based on their "ranking" - for you to spend that much time with them?

Based on their "ranking", how healthy is it for you to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with them?

Don't stress yourself out over this right now. But, again, if you are SERIOUS about your desire (DECISION) to develop a POSITIVE MINDSET, then you can see for yourself - clearly - that there may be some changes that are going to need to take place.

For now...just take a look at the list and be honest with yourself at what you actually see. Yes, this WILL test your "resolve" (root word of "resolution", remember?) on this decision. 

In our next article, we'll take a look at those "forced relationships" that we must all deal with, perhaps on a daily basis.

Until then, whatever you do...

 

Make it an AWESOME day - who else is going to do it for you?

Mike

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ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

 Once you decide to "get real" with yourself and actually admit that things actually are NOT "fine", you MUST come to the point that you decide that "ENOUGH is ENOUGH!"

Are you there yet?

If not, as was asked in a previous article/podcast/video...what will it take to get to that point?

Listen, you have to understand (and realize) that, unless you follow through with these thoughts one step at a time, you will NOT be able to "move forward" with your desires for a better future! It will only be "talk" like it has been so many times before...perhaps even years. 

Truth?

Listen, you don't have to STAY where you ARE in your dissatisfaction. YOU have the ability to actually MAKE A DECISION and MAKE A CHANGE!

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.”

Jim Rohn

Be sure to listen to the podcast and/or watch the video. I don't use a script and, even though I cover the same topic, there will be additional thoughts shared between the two. Just click on the appropriate links below. 

And, until next time, whatever you do, always be sure to make it an AWESOME day - who else is going to do it for you?

Mike

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December Podcasts and Videos...GETTING CAUGHT UP!

 

Alright! It's time for me to get CAUGHT UP on the podcasts and videos that I have published so far this month...sorry for not getting the blog articles up with each of these but...it is what it is so this will be a quick recap for you in order to encourage you to check them out for yourself.

The Holiday Season (Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years) is a very joyous and festive time of the year...but not for everyone. There are many that go through high levels of stress during this Holiday Season that is brought on by several different factors.

I've tried to address some of these factors in this month's episodes and I hope that either you, yourself, will be blessed and encouraged by these OR that you will share with someone that could use this encouragement. 

*You can access all of the podcasts and/or videos by clicking on the appropriate links found at the bottom of this article.* 

I began talking about the very fact that many people struggle during this time of the year and then, in following episodes address some specific "Holiday STRESS Factors" as follows:

    - "Missing Loved Ones"... For many this time of the year is especially stressful and hard to get through due to them going through this season without loved ones. I know, for me, my oldest sister is going through this Holiday Season for the first time without her husband of nearly 50 years. My wife is going through her 3rd year without her Mother and her 2nd year without her Dad and it's still tough! I have found that it doesn't really matter how long that loved one has been gone, it's still tough! Watch and/or listen as I share some suggestions to help ease that difficulty.

    - "Dealing with 'Uncle Eddie'! (FAMILY)" - I jokingly refer to "Uncle Eddie" as THAT particular relative that's a little "odd" that you may try to avoid at family gatherings. However, many times, stress can come from a lot of DIFFERENT family members during this time of the year. I think I give some pretty good suggestions on how to best handle some of these situations that you may come across while being around family. What about YOU? What suggestions do YOU have that care to share...perhaps from your own experiences?

    - "Being BROKE at Christmas!" - I'm not sure that there are many more things as stressful for parents as "being broke" at Christmas and trying to figure out how to have Christmas for their kids.  Hey listen, I give some GREAT advice on how to "have Christmas" even when short on funds BUT I also close this one out with a very STRONG challenge to those listening: DETERMINE TO NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE IN THAT SITUATION AGAIN - EVER!!  The late, great Jim Rohn used to tell the story of a Girl Scout coming to his door to sell him some Girl Scout cookies for $2.00, which he didn't have! He talked about how embarrassed he was that he couldn't even give this little girl the $2.00 for a box of cookies and, due to this embarrassing situation, vowed that he would NEVER be in that situation again. And, he wasn't!

This led me to the start of my next set of episodes...DETERMINING that it is TIME to MAKE A CHANGE once in for all!

"You Can NOT Change!" - Wow, that's a pretty BOLD statement, isn't it? Well, you need to be sure to watch/listen to the content because, in the context provided, that statement is 100% TRUE!

You've heard it before: "For things to CHANGE, things must CHANGE!" Or, maybe you've heard it this way, "If Nothing CHANGES, NOTHING changes!" And finally, maybe this one: "If you wants THINGS TO CHANGE then, understand that THINGS MUST CHANGE!"

This is also when I began talking about my upcoming "Do-Be-Have MORE Challenge" that will be coming up soon. Be sure to listen in for that information! 

"What Will it Take" for you to finally get to the point that you are "sick and tired of being sick and tired"??

I'd love to get your feedback on that question and I'd really love to hear your feedback IF you have reached that point and began to make positive changes in your lie. What was it that brought you to that point that made you DECIDE - once and for all - that it was TIME to make a CHANGE? 

Be sure to listen in as I share a personal story regarding my health back in 2003 and what it was that made me finally reach that point.

Now you are all caught up! *Whew*

I hope that you will take the time to now go and watch/listen and, if you would, leave comments either on my YouTube channel or at my www.FutureYouUniversity.com page with the corresponding podcast and/or video.

In a recent blog post I asked if you were ready to MOVE FORWARD WITH ME. Well friend, that time is NOW...you coming?

Whatever you do, always be sure to make it an AWESOME day - who else is going to do it for you?

Take care -

Mike

Future You University   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

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Your "Circle" Matters

As always, be sure to go back and read the previous 2 articles that go along with this one. Why? Because they form a "mini-series" and today's blog article is the last of this 3-part series. You need to be caught up/up to date on the thoughts that have preceded this article to get the most out of the series.

 

I want to start this one off sharing something that I saw on another commercial. As part of the commercial script, the lady says something along the lines of:   "It's important to surround yourself with the right people."

Now, I already knew this but it was a good "memory jogger" that made me decide to do a blog article/podcast on that truth.

You've probably heard it said many times that we are most like the 5 people with which we spend the most time. When you think about that idea it might SCARE YOU or it may ENCOURAGE YOU. Which is it for you? Do you WANT to be like those people in your "circle"?  

By the way, this is often referred to as your "circle of influence". That's a great description because that's exactly what it is!

When it's stated that you are most "like" those people it means that you are influenced by those people in EVERY area of your life to the point that you "mimic" their thoughts and attitudes and, yes, even their ACTIONS in your own life. Give that some SERIOUS thought, friend!

You tend to adapt the same mindset and attitude with your...Finances, Physical Fitness, How you Present Yourself Physically (and every other way) and even your mindset and attitude with your relationships (spouse, friends, co-workers, etc.). 

 

This "circle" also shapes your thoughts on living a FULL life without regrets (the previous two articles).

So, yeah, YOUR "CIRCLE" MATTERS!

 What influence do YOU have on YOUR "circle"? If you take a look at your circle and decide it's not what you need in your life, you can do one of two things: change your circle or, through your influence you can try to CHANGE the mindset and attitude of those in that circle. 

Maybe YOU are the CHANGE that your circle needs. Perhaps YOU are the one that, through your own mindset and focus, can help change the way your "circle" talks, acts and even thinks. Notice this list of things that Paul encourages the Christians in the city of Philippi to think about and focus on as a way to encourage each other (their "circle").

 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.  (Philippians 4:8)

In the last article I also referred to what the writer of the book (letter) of Hebrews encourage the group there to do as a way to help strengthen each other while going through a lot of struggles... "but exhort (we, today, would use the word "encourage") one another daily, while it is called “Today,” (Hebrews 3:13)

Here's another section where the same writer passes this advice on to the same group of people on how to continue with this daily encouragement..."And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and  good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting (encouraging) one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

The phrase, "stir up" is often used in a negative way. Usually it's something that is bad (and often intentional) and may be used in phrases such as, "Wow, you sure stirred up a hornet's nest!" If you know anything about hornets then you KNOW that that is NOT a good thing! Yikes!

However, in this section of scripture from the Bible, that phrase is used in the opposite way. The advice given is to "stir up" GOOD things such as love, good works (good activity, activity that brings about good/positive results), not "skipping out" on spending time together as a way of encouraging each other.

Now listen, sometimes you have to just understand that your actions may not impact those in your current "circle" the way you need. Take a look at what is said in this graphic...

So, yeah, sometimes you will need to actually CHANGE the people with which you spend your time. Oh, believe me, I understand that this might be very difficult and, at times, may be even seemingly impossible, depending on who that person(s) may be.

But, keep this in mind. If YOU start living your life the way that the above Scriptures suggest then, guess what? YOUR mindset and attitude will improve in such away that you will begin to ATTRACT the "right  kind" of people that will also have the same approach. What will you have then? A "circle of friends" that will encourage you and spur you on just as you will be doing for them. 

So, just in case you haven't quite caught on to this truth, let me leave you with one more graphic using the thoughts found in 1 Corinthians 15:33..."Do not be deceived (don't fool yourself!), bad company corrupts good morals."

You may want to listen in on the podcast to catch some of my "Southern Expressions" that express this same thought. You might get a kick out of it! 

To sum this "mini-series" up: In order to live your life FULL and to die EMPTY (with NO regrets) then you must understand the importance of living TODAY to the best of your ability. One major way to do that is to surround yourself with people that will strengthen and encourage you each and every day. Carefully choose and develop your "circle" to be challenged to live in a way to get the MOST out of your life. 

Until next time, remember...

YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

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Success Factor #4: KEEP Going!

As a quick review (all can be found in the previous articles), here are the "Success Factor" steps previously covered:

1. Success Factor #1: LOOK UP!
2. Success Factor #2: GET UP!
3. Success Factor #3: GET GOING!

Be sure to take a few minutes to read the previous articles as well as listening to the podcasts (see link at bottom of article) IN ORDER. They all "feed" off of the previous "Success Factor" step.

That being said, "Success Factor #3" discussed how important it was to "GET GOING!" and, in this article, we will stress how important it is to "KEEP GOING" once you start taking action.

In the podcast I discuss the difference between "falling short" and "failing". Pay attention to this: FALLING SHORT is NOT failure! Changing course or direction, is NOT failure! Failure occurs when you have decided to "wave the white flag" and "give up". You CEASE to make any effort to continue progressing FORWARD. 

Here's something else to consider in this thought process. You can even decide to stop pursuing something that you thought was very important to you at one time and STILL not be a "failure".

Our lives change and, with that, our perspectives and priorities change as well. Wouldn't you agree? There are things that I once pursued that, at the time, I felt were VERY important to me and I was determined to reach "success" in those areas.

 

 CLICK HERE

Things (my goals, perspective AND priorities) have changed quite a bit over the past 13 years when I first began "Future You University". I am proud of the number and the quality of the articles and podcasts that I have done over this period of time. They will "live on" long after I am gone from this earth. That has now become a major feeling of accomplishment to me and for me in my desire to share positive information with as many people as possible.

My goals that I once had to be a major "player" in the public speaking arena is no longer of major importance to me. I have worked and pushed hard in different areas in the field of "home-based business" over the years and now, to be honest, I have no real desire to pursue that any longer. 

Does that make me a "failure". NOT AT ALL! I am still dedicated to making sure that I am doing all that I can do in order to "take in" as much positive and encouraging information that I can for my own personal benefit. And, as I continue to share information with you from time to time, I can also try to provide the same for you. 

So, yes, I have definitely "changed course" but I have not "given up" or "surrendered" in my desire to improve my life on a daily basis as well as being dedicated to sharing what I can to help others in that same journey.

Do you happen to remember when you first learned how to ride a bicycle? Or, perhaps, you may remember the time that you taught your children to do the same. I use this example in the podcast for this topic and talk about how hard it is to grasp the idea that you must peddle faster in order to get momentum which, in turn, makes it easier to ride. At that stage of the learning process, being told that does NOT make sense but, it is still a true fact, right? 

I also use the example of having to push a car that is completely stationary and of how much force and effort it takes to get that car rolling/moving even just a little bit. But, once it begins to roll, momentum kicks in and it takes less and less effort to keep it moving.

Newton’s first law of motion – sometimes referred to as the law of inertia states that an object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

Listen, ANY relationship takes effort. ANY endeavor to improve your life in ANY way will take effort. The earlier it is in the process, the "harder" it is to gain that "momentum". Too many give up TOO SOON before they begin to experience the momentum in whatever endeavor it is that they are pursuing.

(By the way, in the podcast, I give some much-needed advice to those that are involved in any type of "home-based business" beginning at the 9:52 mark. If you are involved in such or are considering such, make sure you take a listen!)

As always, I encourage you to listen to the podcast that accompanies this article...I believe that you will gain even more out of this particular topic by doing so.

So, "Success Factor #1: LOOK UP!" , "Success Factor #2: GET UP!" and "Success Factor #3: GET GOING!", "Success Factor #4: KEEP GOING!". This will be followed in my next podcast and article with the last of the "5 Success Factors" with,  "Success Factor #5: DON'T YOU DARE, EVER, GIVE UP!". 

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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Project 141: RELAIONSHIPS (Part 3: Family, Friends, CoWorkers)

 

So, you should already know what I'm about to say as you get ready to read this article...have you already read parts 1 and 2? If not, go do that first. If you have, then welcome to part 3!

And, while you are at it, be sure to check out the podcast by clicking HERE.

In this article we are going to look at our "Project 141" expansion application to the area of relationships and, more specifically, your relationships with family, friends, coworkers and even your boss. Yep. Even your boss.

I'm also going to use the exact same graphic that I used in part 1 of this section when I discussed your relationship with your spouse/mate. Here it is:

 Here's the kicker, friend...THESE 3 QUESTIONS can be (should be) applied (considered and acted upon) to ANY relationship that you value. Yes, even your relationships with your coworkers and your boss.  "Wait a minute, Mike, I wouldn't say that I 'value' my relationships with my coworkers and, for sure, I'm not sure I'd say that about my boss!"

Let's think about that for a moment. When you go back and reconsider the importance of guarding and protecting your mind (personal development) and, along with that, you throw into the mix a group of people that you likely spend more time with than anyone else...shouldn't you "value" that relationship to the point of at least wanting to make them the best possible? Do you REALLY want to "add on" to the negativity that wants to consume you ever day as it is?

And, when you consider that your "boss" or manager or whoever it is that is in a position to promote you or fire you, is a part of your "work life", wouldn't it make sense to try to make that relationship as positive and productive as possible?

I've shared this example before but I feel it needs to be shared again in this discussion. Years ago my wife went to work for a store and was warned on her first day to "stay clear" of the assistant manager because she was grouchy and negative. Yes, on day one. Little did those that said those things know that, for my wife, they simply presented a challenge for her. Her thought was, "I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make her (the assistant manager) smile each day that I'm here at work". 

And, take a wild guess what happened...she accomplished her goal of putting a smile on that assistant managers face every day that my wife worked with her. No, it was not an immediate change but, day after day, when my wife would say something positive to her with a HUGE smile on her face, the assistant manager had no choice but to smile back with a positive response. And that's not all. To the shock of all of her coworkers (who were already in shock at what all had happened), this assistant manager hand-knitted a "blanket or throw" for her and told her how much she appreciated her. 

WOW! Talk about my wife doing something DAILY to improve her relationship with this assistant manager. What an incredible change!

I'm not telling you that this will always be the type of reaction that you can expect but, at the same time, I can pretty much promise you that there WILL be some positive change and improvement in that relationship.

So again, regardless of whether you are talking about friends, family, coworkers or, yes, even your "boss" it is important to apply these same 3 questions on a DAILY basis:

     1. What do I do TODAY to IMPROVE this relationship?

     2. What do I do TODAY to BE INVOLVED in this relationship?

     3 What do I do TODAY to make ______________ glad that they are a part of this relationship?

Notice that, in all 3 of these questions, the question is NOT, "What do THEY do..." but, rather, "What do I do". This is a key ingredient in this "exercise" - this must be turned "inward" and applied to YOU taking the action and not waiting on the other person and/or blaming the other person. That is about what YOU need to do and what YOU need to do TODAY.

1. How do you improve or "make better" your relationship with your friends, family, coworkers and your boss/employer? How can you be a better friend, family member, coworker and employee?

2. What do you need to do to make sure you are "involved" (engaged) in these same relationships? For example, at work, are you there just to "get the check" or are you involved/engaged in a way that shows you are dedicated to doing your absolute best at whatever your position may be there. Are you one that constantly whines and complains or are you one that, again, is focused on "turning off" the negativity that surrounds them and is focused on doing their job to the best of their ability?

3. What do you do TODAY to make (fill in the blank) GLAD that they are a part of this relationship with you? Are your friends - especially your really close friends - GLAD that you are their friend? Are you "involved and engaged" in that friendship or are you only "connected" when you want/need something? What are the "needs" that your family has at this stage of your life. Are you fully engaged in whatever role that might be and are they glad that you are a part of your family? And, yes, even with your coworkers and your "boss"...do they like to see you come into a room or are they happier when you leave? Is your employer GLAD that they hired you or do they regret that move?

Do NOT take the power behind these 3 questions lightly! They ARE, indeed, POWERFUL but only if you take them seriously and honestly answer and  apply what you need to do.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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Project 141: RELATIONSHIPS (Part 2..."The Worksheet")

 

It is absolutely necessary for you to read Part 1 BEFORE you get into this article. Get it? Got it? GOOD! I "set the table" for this continuation of those thoughts found in that article.

This part is going to be a little bit different than I had originally planned to incorporate into this section on "Relationships". I do that. My mind says, "Hey, let's delve into THIS a little more" and, next thing you know, I've started making my article longer than planned.

I did record a podcast yesterday that combines both parts 1 and 2 of this part on "Relationships". You can find that podcast HERE. 

Right off, let me emphasize that I am NOT an "expert relationship counselor" or anything like that. I have done quite a bit of marriage counseling from when I was in ministry and I also have 39 years of marriage that brings with it a lot of "first-hand" knowledge in this area.

Again, be sure to go back and read the first part of this series before going any further. This is simply another suggestion that you may want to take a look at and consider in the area of doing something to improve your relationship with your spouse. 

KEY THING TO CONSIDER: Should you go through the information for this "worksheet" by yourself or with your spouse? Here's what I suggest...

If your relationship is currently in a "contentious state" (problems) then I suggest that you do this on your own and be completely honest in all of your answers. Make sure you understand that this exercise is an "inward focusing" exercise. In other words, this is not something for you to do to "point fingers" at your spouse and play the "blame game". If you are not willing to look inwardly during this exercise then, friend, I suggest that you just move on and do some serious thinking about how serious you really are about your relationship.

Blunt, huh?

Now then, IF the two of you are working together on improving your relationship then, you may consider doing this together as long as you still understand that this is an inward-looking exercise and not something designed to "lash out" or try to hurt the other. 

So, here we go and I do suggest that you listen to the podcast on this as well. The verbal along with the written many times make things a little clearer and easier to understand.

Take a few minutes, get out a piece of paper and divide it into 3 columns. First, write down on the left hand side of your paper (1st column)  all of the things that you remember about your spouse that caused you to "fall in love" with them. Then, make a "middle column" and simply answer "yes" or no" to the question: Is this the same? Are those traits still there? (or however you want to word it). NOTICE: I did not say do you FEEL the same way about that...I asked if those traits were actually still there. BIG DIFFERENCE.  Then, make a 3rd column and answer the question if the "change" that has supposedly taken place is due to your spouse or you. In other words, IF there was a change, WHY was there a change?

 Here's an example I put together just to help you out. Make this YOURS and make sure it applies to YOUR situation and, again, MAKE SURE YOU ARE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF!

Let's just use the first entry as an example. In the example above, one of the traits that is listed as something that you "fell in love with" early on was the fact that they were "good looking". Great! Now then, in the 2nd column the question is asked, "Does this trait still exist" or "Is this still true?" The answer I listed - purely as an example - was, "Yes, but different". In other words, "Yes, they are still good looking but in a different way" which leads to column 3 asking, "If there IS a change then, What changed? Who changed? Why the change?" and the very simplistic answer I listed was, "AGE caused the change". 

I'm not trying to over simplify this but to simply give you some ideas. Your "reasons" as to the "why/who/what" may go much, much deeper and that's o.k. Use as much space as you need to write down what you honestly feel and think on this (and ALL of these areas). But, it is very important that you also look at yourself in this and also ask if YOU have changed in this same area as well. In other words, "Hey, have YOU looked in the mirror lately?" This is both PHYSICALLY (you've gotten older as well!) and also taking a look at who you really are on the inside (has your love matured over the years or are you still stuck on things such as "good looks"). 

The real "dig down deep" part of this worksheet is column 3. If you are filling this out by yourself, then say absolutely whatever you feel without worrying about hurting the other's feelings. If you do this, make sure that they DO NOT read this right now!

But, if you are going to do that then, friend, you MUST zero down and look inwardly and ask WHY you feel this way and you may want to do a LOT of "self-examination" on this and see what YOU need to change in this relationship. 

Bottom line: NEITHER OF YOU are the same person that you were when you first met. And, to be honest, you should be glad that you are not, IF you have matured and grown in your life. 

When you do this exercise, I suggest that you ask God to help you "see with new eyes" as you look at your spouse. In other words, sometimes people get fixated on how things "used to be" and, once again, as a reminder, NEITHER of you are the same person that you were before. It's easy for us to get critical of our mate due to things that have taken place over the years that also have impacted us as well. 

Let this worksheet be a GOOD thing in and for your life and relationship. If you approach it the way I suggest and, if you ask God to guide you and help you through the process, I believe it can do just that.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141

Project 141: RELATIONSHIPS

 

RELATIONSHIPS. They come in all "shapes and sizes", don't they? You have your relationship with your spouse, your parents, your in-laws, your kids, their spouses once they get older, your siblings, co-workers, your boss and just friends, in general. 

I will try to cover several of these areas over the next few blog articles but, as you can probably tell from the picture above, I'm going to start off talking about your relationship with your spouse. Yes, you can re-word that however you want and apply it however you want, but I think you get the idea.

That picture is actually the shadow of my wife and I from a couple of weeks ago when we were out on a day trip. We were actually taking a "selfie" with some beautiful scenery behind us when I noticed the shadow and decided I wanted to take a picture of that as well. 

We will have been married for 39 years toward the end of this coming May. Wow! She's getting old! Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, that's a long time to be with someone but, at the same time, her parents have been married for 70 years!!

Straight up...it has NOT been easy! There have been times over the years that both of us "got lazy" and took each other for granted. We have been separated on two different occasions (5 weeks was the longest) and were even on the brink of divorce during that longest period.

But, we are still here and, to be honest, we are STRONGER than ever before...but not by accident. It has taken determination, patience and, plain old WORK!

That is the purpose of talking about my "Project 141" application to this area of RELATIONSHIPS.

With the application of the idea behind "Project 141" be sure to do at least ONE (1) thing every day FOR (4) ONE (1) full year. Yes, every - single - day. At LEAST once a day!

Look at the graphic I put together a few years ago to get a few ideas of a few questions that you might want to consider...

Again, I know some of you would want to list "RELATIONSHIPS" in my list further up the list and that's o.k. Like I've already stated, I put them in this order for a reason and, as a way to recap, here's is my reasoning behind the order of this list.

In my opinion, your SPIRITUAL life/connection should always be #1 on your list. Want to know how to have better relationships? Check your "owners manual" (the Bible) for your directions. Want to improve your "PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT"? Again, check the "owners manual" which, if you go back and read, I pointed out over 3 articles on that specific area on this list. Why did I not put "relationships" in front of either of these. An improved spiritual life/connection will improve every area of your life. In my opinion, working on improving yourself (personal development) and your mind, mindset and attitude will do nothing but improve all of your relationships as well. 

Test me on this and see what you discover.

You CAN NOT take your relationships (ANY of them) for granted! I know it may sound corny but, yes, you need to treat your relationships as if they were a tender plant that needs your attention. Specifically, as we talk about your relationship with your spouse, you must take DAILY care and NEVER take it for granted. If you see this relationship starting to "wilt", don't wait! Let this be a "warning sign" to you that it is in need of some "nourishment" and get at it, friend!

A few years ago, I began writing little notes for my wife and leaving them around for her to find. Actually, this began when we were separated and I knew I had best figure out a way to get her attention and let her know how much I DID love her and how much I DID cherish her and NEED her.  Guess what? After a little while, she started leaving me notes as well.

This might be something that you consider doing for YOUR spouse. Get creative as WHERE to leave the note to surprise your spouse.

Let me emphasize this point. Yes, it's GREAT to leave notes like this but DO NOT allow these notes take the place of you VERBALLY telling your spouse that you love them. SAY the words, "I love you!" no matter how uncomfortable that may be for you at first --SAY IT!

Remember, CHANGE IS NOT EASY and, as "silly" as it may seem to some that are already in the habit of doing things such as this, if you are NOT used to doing so, it WILL take effort and discipline to do SOMETHING every single day!

Here's another suggestion for you if you are finding that you "don't feel" the same way that you used to when you first met. For one, understand that NEITHER of you are the same person that you were when you first met! THIS IS KEY! 

In my next article, I'm going to continue this discussion and share with you a suggested "work sheet" to really "break this down" (the idea stated in the last paragraph) and hopefully help you and your spouse strengthen your relationship.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube  Project141

Every Area Every Day

Relationships (spouse/kids/family) - Spiritual - Physical - Financial

 

On December 15, 2020, I wrote out my plans for the next 3 months, 6 months, 1 year and 3 years. Notice the date that I listed. The above graphic (from Dave Ramsey) came across my social media feed just a few days ago and, as I type this article it is January 6, 2021 - a time difference of about three weeks. 

Why do I bother mentioning that information? Because I always find it interesting the way things like this work. The heading line that you see below the "wheel" above are the areas that I listed on my paper on the 15th of December that I focused on in my plans over the next three years and the items in the "wheel" from Dave Ramsey listed items to focus on for the New Year just a couple of days ago. 

Coincidence? I don't think so.

For years as I have done my podcast, blog articles and videos and shared my thoughts and ideas I have always been amazed when I would read something from people like Jim Rohn, Bob Proctor or others that said basically the exact same thing. 

WOW!

But I've discovered that when you focus on powerful and positive things as others do (like those that I listed along with many more) you will find a similar mindset...a cohesiveness of thought, so to speak. 

For me, it is an acknowledgement that I am on "the right track" in my thinking about such things. 

So, as a continued discussion about my Project 141 and also as a way of introduction of how I am "expanding" Project 141, I want to encourage you to take into consideration HOW you can make improvements in the areas mentioned above every single day of your life. 

Yes, the items listed in Dave Ramsey's "wheel" expand on my thoughts a little more, but specifically, I will be sharing this approach for the following areas in your life, as well as mine: Relationships (spouse/kids/family) - Spiritual - Physical - Financial.

 

Why not start brainstorming these things ahead of time? Why not start NOW thinking about how YOU can implement something on a DAILY basis to improve these areas of your life TODAY...right now!?

Until next time, when I begin to discuss how we can use Project 141 in our relationships, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube 

 

The Success Iceberg

I've shared this image before and even have mentioned it before but, today, I want to "dive" a little deeper into what is represented by the picture that you see above. 

I've also mentioned before that success of any kind is not an "overnight sensation". What you SEE is illustrated as being above the water in the picture above. What you SEE is the public acknowledgement of a person's success.

If you desire success - in ANY area - "what you see is NOT what you get". Let me explain.

Most of us can relate to the example of someone who makes it to the Olympics. We understand that, making it to the Olympics in and of itself, is a great accomplishment. I also believe that most of us understand that this "success" did not happen overnight and that it took YEARS of sacrifice and many, long hours of training for that person to achieve this level of success.  

Many begin at a very early age preparing for this future success. Sure, many times it begins as a goal or dream of their parents BUT, at the same time and at some point in time, they also have to "buy into" the dream in order to dedicate themselves to this extensive training and sacrifice. 

Those that actually reach the level of winning a gold, silver or bronze medal in the Olympics are receiving those public accolades or what you "see" as "the tip of the iceberg".  Again, what you DON'T see is all that went into that success.

Success is something that many say that they want. Many will swear up and down that they are ready to do "whatever it takes" in order to achieve success. And, though many may THINK that they are ready and willing to do "whatever it takes", few actually are.  

As is usually the case, it all boils down to the strength of your "why" and the power of your purpose. Put another way: HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

You MUST "count the cost" because, friend, there WILL be cost - in many different ways,for the success that you seek. There will be "sweat equity" cost and there will be financial cost. You must also understand that there will be "relationship cost" and this is one that you really need to be careful with and consider very seriously. 

WORD OF CAUTION:  Take care that you do not seek your own success at the expense of your children and your spouse. This is a sad mistake that I have seen many make in their pursuit of "success" and, in my opinion, though they may have reached some level of what the world might consider success, they have actually failed. 

Yes, do the best that you can for your family. Show them dedication and persistence. Provide for them the very best that you can but, at the same time, do not do so at their expense. You only get one shot with those kids and it is for a very short period of time. Cherish and protect that time, friend because once it is gone it is gone forever. No matter how badly you may want to "re-do" this time while they are in your care you simply cannot.

Prepare yourself for success but understand that "success" can be defined in many different ways. Yes, prepare yourself for your own success but be cautious and aware of the timing of the sacrifices that must - and will - be made.

Please be sure to listen to the podcast and watch the video on today's topic. You can find the links below. Also, please be sure to stop by my Facebook page and leave some feedback on today's topic. That link can also be found below.

And, until next time, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube   Live Debt Free!

Stop Trying to Fit In

Why do so many try to "fit in"? Why do so many try to be like someone else, instead of being themselves? I'm sure there are many different answers to those questions and you, yourself, may have struggled with this very thing in your life.

But, let me ask another questions: Why try to be like someone else when YOU are the ONLY YOU in existence? YOU are UNIQUE and there is no one else like you - never has been and never will be!

I do understand wanting to emulate - or copy - some favorable characteristics that some have. We all need mentors or those that we look up to as a good example. I get that. I understand that and I support that. 

HOWEVER, that does not mean that you should give up who you are in order to "be like" someone else. Make sense?

The fact that you are UNIQUE (and you are!) supports what the graphic above states...you were BORN to STAND OUT!

Now listen, let's use a little common sense here, o.k.? Yeah, I know...sometimes common sense ain't so common but, still, help me out here. Obviously, if you are a mean spirited jerk to everyone around you then, friend, you need to STOP being "that" version of you and do all that you can to become a better you and the BEST you that you can be!

We ALL should be striving to do that in our lives and for the impact that we have on those around us. That's the whole purpose of "personal development", right? That's my whole purpose in what I have done over the past 11 years through Future You University...to help each of us to be a better "future version" of ourselves than we are now.

Again, you are unique and there is no one else like you. You have certain gifts, talents and abilities that only YOU bring to the table of life. 

That being said, stop trying to fit in when you were BORN to "stand out"!

Please be sure to check out the podcast and the video that goes along with today's topic. You can find the links below. 

Until next time, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube   Live Debt Free!