"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 4

"The First 'R' of the "3 R's of Change"

As we continue to talk about the fact that, when we face tough times and situations, we likely need to make some changes in our life we must begin to challenge ourselves as to the WHY of our situation.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a tough situation due to circumstances beyond our control such as the tornado example I used in yesterday's article. Even at that - even though we had no control over the tornado - we find ourselves, out of necessity, having to make changes in our life!

But again, if we are going to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves, there are many times that we have to face the fact that WE are to blame for the tough situation in which we find ourselves. Perhaps it's due to poor choices and decisions or due to our own negative attitude towards our job and/or others around us.

But, regardless...WHAT NOW?

Today I want to introduce you to the first "R" of what I like to call "The 3 R's of Change" and that would be...

RETREAT!

Let's get something clear right from the start of this part of the discussion - retreat and surrender are two totally different things!

Surrender means that you have given up and given in. You have ceased to fight.

"Retreat" means that you have decided that you need to withdraw from the situation so that you can "step back" and take another look at what is going on and what you are doing in regards to the situation.

I don't really want to get too detailed on this today because I will be revealing the other 2 "R's" of change tomorrow and they all tie in with each other. However, we can still focus on this part and work on it right away...

YOU MAY NEED TO RETREAT!

Do any of you remember that old commercial where the housewife was surrounded by her hectic surroundings of the day? The kids were fussing and fighting, the dog was barking, the phone was ringing and on and on it went. The commercial ends with her calling out, "Calgon take me away!". It was an advertisement for some sort of bath salt and she longed to get in that hot tub and just soak and GET AWAY from her hectic surroundings.

We ALL need that from time to time and, sometimes, when we are in the middle of tough times we especially need to retreat.

Do NOT misunderstand this point...this is NOT running away from the situation or your problems! Not at all!

I'll clarify this even more in tomorrow's podcast and blog article but it is NOT running away or surrendering.

My friend, "retreat" is just the opposite of giving up or running away.

So, for you today, perhaps you just need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Don't give up and don't run away. That never accomplishes anything, does it? Why? Because the problem or tough situation is still there.

Be sure to join me tomorrow as I revel the other 2 "R's" of change and, until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 3

Part 3 - "Why the NEED for CHANGE?"

As we continue to discuss the saying, "When the going gets tough the tough get going" I hope we have all gotten a little bit more comfortable with admitting that this is not always true in our own lives.

Here's the bottom line on this whole thing - we can keep living a LIE instead of being honest with ourselves and, if we choose to do so, we must also understand that NOTHING will EVER change for the better in our lives.

WHY? First and foremost, a life (or really ANYTHING) built on lies cannot stand and prosper.

Period.

So, again, let's get honest about this whole thing and just admit that many times (most? all?) when the going gets tough we DON'T always "get going" the way we'd like to think we should or even could.

So far we've looked at the thoughts of, "When the going gets tough..."

- We have to make some choices! Actually, there is only one of two choices: GIVE UP or GET UP! It is your choice, indeed, and no one else can make it for you. For the rest of the discussions that we are having on this I am moving with the assumption that you have decided to GET up and KEEP MOVING forward!

- We probably need to make some CHANGES! When we find ourselves in a tough situation we probably are going to need to do something DIFFERENT in order to get OUT of this tough situation!

This brings us to today's thoughts shared via the podcast and now, in this article.

WHY THE NEED FOR CHANGE?

First of all, we may need to make some changes out of necessity. I used the example of a tornado coming through and wiping your house out completely. When that happens your whole life changes in an instant!

When something like that happens - something completely out of your control - you will definitely have to make some changes. Like it or not, you are being FORCED to make some changes! Why? Because nothing IS the same as it was and there is no other option but change.

There are times that things happen that are completely out of our control and, even then, we have the choice to either give up or get up and keep fighting. In situations like this (beyond our control) the change HAS taken place whether we wanted it to or not. How we respond to that change is now up to us.

Now, sometimes we find ourselves in tough situations because of something WE have done! Oh, we don't like to talk about that, now do we? In the podcast I mentioned the need to get brutally honest with ourselves on this one. It is so easy to always blame someone or something else for our tough situations when, sometimes, it is our OWN fault that we find ourselves in a tough situation.

Here's a clue: if you find yourself in tough situations over and over and over again, it is likely something that YOU are doing - or NOT doing - that is putting yourself in that situation!

I'm sure you've all heard that definition of insanity that says something along the lines of "trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the true definition of insanity." Makes sense, doesn't it?

Here's the example I used in the podcast for today: Let's say the "tough situation" is represented by a brick wall in front of you. It has stopped your progress and you have decided that you are NOT going to give up and that you are going to MOVE AHEAD past this obstacle to keep moving on to your goals and dreams.

You have decided that you are going to go THROUGH the brick wall using brute force. And, being a man and taking to heart that your wife has told you that you have a hard head, you have decided that you will USE your head as a battering ram.

Now, isn't it interesting that "using your head" in that sentence actually means that you are NOT using your head (as in, "not thinking clearly")?

Tell me friend, how long will it take - how many head bangs against that brick wall - before you begin to understand that what you are doing IS not working and WILL not work? How long will it take before you realize that you need to CHANGE your approach and do something differently?

THAT'S what we're talking about.

In the next article we are going to discuss the "Three R's" of change that we may want to consider.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day!" (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 2

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 2

As I continue with my thoughts on this topic of, "When the Going Gets Tough..." I do want to take just a moment and look at the thoughts we have already shared together to this point.

FIRST - The fact that things GET TOUGH is just a part of life! I'm sorry to burst your bubble if you didn't already know this but, if you've been lucky enough to live a "tough-free" life up to this point, then you need to prepare yourself because, sooner or later, THEY WILL GET TOUGH! Again, it's just a part of life and the "human experience".

SECOND - The ending part of this phrase, "When the going gets tough the tough get going." isn't always true for us, is it? Sure, we'd love it to be true any and every time we face touch challenges in our lives - but we just don't! And, because of that, many times we beat ourselves up with guilt because we feel week and inferior. Why? Because we are either trying to live up to someone else's expectations of us OR we are falling short of our own expectations in this area. Bottom line: we don't always handle things or face things the way we (or others) think that we should.

THIRD - We looked at one "ending" to this phrase by saying, "When the going gets tough you have to make some CHOICES!" And, in my book, you have only two choices - GIVE UP or GET UP. You can either roll up into a ball and give up OR you can keep fighting ahead with the attitude that you will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP! Hey, even that thought is kind of "rah rah", isn't it? I mean that thought is powerful but it doesn't always live up to the hype. I think it is because of the "image" we have in our minds associated with the idea of "never, ever giving up". But, regardless, the choice is your and you are currently following one of the two paths in your life. Which path are YOU following currently?

AND NOW FOR TODAY'S THOUGHTS - "When the going gets tough you probably need to make some CHANGES!"

This goes along with the "image" I mentioned in point 3 of this article that we often have in our minds when we think about the fact that we will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP!

I applaud your decision to never give up! I SUPPORT your decision to never give up! It is a decision that we all MUST make IF we really ever plan to move forward and make any progress in any area of our lives.

But, if you find yourself continually in difficult situations and things aren't changing the way that you think that they should then, perhaps, you need to make a CHANGE in the way you are approaching/attacking the situation.

We'll talk more about this in the next part of this series but, for now, just consider the "image" of NEVER GIVING UP that you may have in your head.

Is it an image of just pounding away and hitting "the problem" full on - head on - repeatedly until it caves in to your might?

How's that working out for you? (And I say that with a little smile on my face, by the way.)

Maybe it's time we made a change in our approach.

Think about it and, until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going!"

Wow, wouldn't it be great IF that were always true in our own lives? But, let's be honest, it's NOT always true in our own lives, is it?

I was reading an article a few minutes ago and someone made the comment on "self-help" books, (and I quote loosely) "Most of these books work if you do the work. Of course, if you do the work, you don't need the books in the first place."

I think I understand what this person means and, on one level, I agree with them.

But, at the same time, I also find this idea that we can do it all on our own! And, that goes back to that idea of the quote being used for this series of podcasts and blogs (too, don't forget I'm also video taping my podcast - go to the main site to hook up to my YouTube channel - www.MichaelSpillman.com).

It would be GREAT if we could always just blast right through any and all obstacles that get in our way!

But, honestly, we're simply not made that way.

What do I mean? Simply put: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

Isn't that true? As hard as some people may try, it's like the old quote, "No man is an island." Even though people give us headaches and heartaches from time to time the fact remains: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

So, that's one reason I am so thankful that you are reading this. I hope that I'm able to help you with the mindset necessary to keep moving forward. And, let me say this - I NEED YOU and am ENCOURAGED by you when you leave comments and encourage me by letting me know that this helps you even in some small way.

So, bottom line, we don't always GET GOING when things get tough.

That being said, here's the first "end of the quote" I want to use for today:

"When the going gets tough...WE HAVE CHOICES TO MAKE!"

In my opinion we have only TWO choices when things get tough. We can either GIVE UP or we can choose to GET UP!

Oh, I know you've head me say that before - but it's still true and it applies to this situation.

When you get knocked to your knees it's easy to "just stay down" and to try to avoid any more hurt or struggle. It's easy to give up thinking that by doing so the struggle will either ease up or just go away.

FALSE!

You can be assured that it WON'T go away or ease up just because we have chosen to "throw in the towel". There's more to be said on this part and I will be sharing thoughts on this throughout this little series (as well as on the podcast - be sure to listen to them because I don't use a script to make sure that I say the EXACT same thing there and here both!).

But for now, let's all realize that GIVING UP is one decision that you could make when things get tough.

The other? GET UP and KEEP MOVING forward REGARDLESS of the tough situation that is invading your life for the moment.

Don't miss those last three words..."for the moment".

Here's one thing you can count on when it comes to tough times: Tough times come and tough times go.

And, yeah, then they come again. But, guess what? Then they also "go" again.

It's simply part of life and part of BEING ALIVE!

We'll be talking more about what this means for each of us but keep this in mind - YOU ARE CHOOSING A PATH EACH AND EVERY DAY.

Which path are YOU choosing? The path that is part of the "giving up" choice or the path that is part of the "getting up" choice?

Hey, let's get real and honest here. You already know which path you are choosing, don't you?

And, too, some days we choose one path and, on other days we choose the other one.

That being so, aren't you glad we have each other to help out along the way? I know I am!

And I am THANKFUL for you!

As always, "Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike