LIVING Your Best By GIVING Your Best!

LIVING Your Best By GIVING Your Best!

How have you done with the self-examination that has been a part of this short, 2-part discussion? If you're not sure what I'm talking about then be sure to go back and listen to the podcast from yesterday as well as today and also be sure to read the blog entry from yesterday on this topic.

Simply put, many of us get caught up in the negative influences that surround us and we end up giving anything BUT our best in many - if not all - areas of our life!

Now, remember that I have encouraged you to always listen to the podcast AND read the blog, right? Why? Because what I write here is many times similar - yet different - than what I discussed on the podcast. This will likely be the case today as my mind is running in a different direction this morning as I type this!

You see, here's the thing - when you really think about it, the reason many of us DON'T give our best - 100% - is due to the negative influences around us! Really think about it and see if you don't agree. At your job - what's the general attitude with those that you are around during the day? What kind of attitudes are exhibited about a good relationship with those that you spend time with? Do THEY have a good relationship or are they always griping and complaining about theirs?

I want to use the steps we just got through discussing in our recent series on making wise or stupid decisions and see if we can't apply these principles here as well.

First of all, let's consider the foundational principle of "mapping out our future" and determining what we want our lives to look like! This can ALSO apply in this situation!

Instead of griping and complaining and giving a sub-par performance (at work or in your relationships) why not look and consider what you'd LIKE it to look like? Picture it! Imagine it! Visualize it! And then, instead of listening and being influenced by the negative influences around you - LIVE IT! Decide NOW to go for what you WANT your life to be and not what you have SETTLED for your life to become! That's a BIG difference - wouldn't you say?

Step 1: WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO? - Wow, this plays a BIG role in this scenario as well! Just like we talked about in the discussion of making wise decisions the same is true for us in this situation - you WILL become like those that you spend your time with! If you are spending your time with people that whine, complain and put out "half-effort" at best then, guess what? That's what you will do as well!

Now, step back and look at this picture for a moment. Really, try to picture yourself actually stepping back from this environment and picture those people and the atmosphere that is prevalent - DO YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF THAT? Do YOU want to become like one of THEM?

I hope not! But you WILL if you continue to allow this negative influence in your life!

Now, let's go to the same principle (who are you listening to?) in relation to those we spend time with in connection to our relationships. Is it the same group of people? If so, I can already tell you that all they do is gripe and complain about their spouses and/or their family. Am I right? I can tell you already that I am right about this!

How do I know? NEGATIVE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS BE NEGATIVE!

Do you spend time with other people after work before going home? Why and who is it with? What kind of attitude do THEY have about their own relationship? What kind of advice might they give you concerning YOUR relationship?

Do you REALLY want to be taking advice or allowing this person to influence you in YOUR relationship? Again, I hope not!

You MUST shake these people off! I'm serious!

You CAN NOT allow these influences in your life! Yes, I know that if you work with them that you cannot totally separate yourself from them BUT you CAN limit the amount of "chit chat" time that you spend with them.

THIS IS A MUST!

Why should you allow others to determine your mindset and attitude toward your job and your family and/or other relationships?

If you have set out your map and you know where you want to go and you know what you want your life to look like then you MUST take control of your mindset!

Do not allow this negative influence to continue! You may want to try to change the subject and talk positive for a change - see what happens!

Instead of spending that time at the bar with that negative person who knows NOTHING about how to have a positive and healthy relationship - GO HOME and work on giving your best in that relationship!

You can only LIVE your best when you GIVE your best!

How can you feel good about your life otherwise? I don't believe you can! I know I don't feel good about my day if I feel like I have wasted it in any way - do you?

Now, let me once again clarify something that I said on the podcast that I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I suggested - and suggest here as well - that if you want your relationship with your spouse to improve - GIVE MORE! See what happens when you decide to give! ---- Here's the deal. Again, I KNOW that in some relationships one gives and gives and gives while the other does nothing but take. I understand that and I'm not talking about that type of situation - PLEASE HEAR ME ON THAT!

Here is what I mean though - for many of us in our lives and in all areas of our lives (work and home) we have become TAKERS and not GIVERS!

Do you remember one of my 7 Daily Affirmations being, "I am a GIVER not a TAKER!" ?

We have become a society that seems to think that everyone OWES us. And, with that thought in mind, we will sit back and wait to be served and then, MAYBE, we'll do something in return.

We have gotten this way in our jobs and we have gotten this way in our relationships and we MUST turn this around and become GIVERS instead of TAKERS!

LIVE your best by GIVING your best and you WILL BECOME your best!

Isn't that what we all are striving for with our lives?

Think about it. Put it into practice and...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Living Your Best!

Living Your Best!

I really don't want to get into some sort of discussion and/or argument that is sports related when I share these thoughts with you today. I've heard them all debated over and over again and my mind has still not been changed. If you've already listened to the podcast then you already know what I'm talking about. If not...let me share as we begin today.

As this years NFL regular season began to wind down and teams already knew that they were going to the playoffs we saw some of them "rest their starters" so that they could be sure to have them healthy once they got to the playoffs. Sounds good on the surface right?

However, most of the time - if not all of the time - this ended up with these teams LOSING to their opponent. Here's the kicker - these teams could have rested their starters AND still won the game and, for one team in particular, ended with a perfect record for the season.

But, no. Instead of keeping their starters in the game until they got a lead that SHOULD NOT be able to be overcome and THEN taking their starters out, we saw teams take their starters our prematurely and lose the game.

The cameras were zoomed in on the face of the quarterback of the one team that could have gone undefeated and it looked like he had just eaten the most distasteful food possible - he looked absolutely sick!

I have watched for years as teams in the NBA seemed to have purposely lost games so that they might have a better chance at THE lottery pick for the best player available for the next year. As a matter of fact, a man that was an assistant coach a few years back said just recently that this was EXACTLY what had happened with the team for which he coached.

I'm sorry if you don't agree but, to me, that's just wrong.

What about the fans that pay the same amount of money for a ticket for a game when the teams play their best players and the players play their best as they do for one of the games like we're talking about in today's entry? They're not really getting their money's worth, are they?

Like I said, I really don't want to get into an argument or discussion about this - I've heard them all. What I usually here is how this makes sure the main players are healthy for the playoffs OR that the basketball team may increase their chances at the lottery pick.

Here's the deal - NEITHER of these are guaranteed!

I've seen NFL teams that have done this get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs - how did THAT work out for you? And, I've seen NBA teams NOT get the number one pick in the lottery. They were bad before and lost on purpose and they STILL were going to be bad and also lost a lot of respect of their fans.

Remember - TODAY is all we have!

NO ONE is guaranteed ANYTHING about tomorrow! It's just not there, my friend!

The problem is this (as I see it): This kind of approach and attitude is not just tied into these sports scenarios - it's widespread in our society!

I know this next example is meant for humor - really, I do understand that. But, it is an example of how many people think. We've all seen the t-shirts that read, "I'm #1!" right? I am also sure that most of us have seen the shirts that read, "I'm #3 - Why Try At All?".

The sad part is - many people live their whole lives this way.

Many in our society approach a job with the thought, "What's the least amount of work I have to do without getting fired?" instead of, "How can I do this job to the best of my ability?".

I was reading a true account in a book one day about a guy that went to work for a company and was doing his best each day. It didn't' take long before he was approached by someone that had been working there for a few years who said, "Hey, knock it off! Quit working so hard - if you keep this up then they're going to expect the rest of us to work like that! You need to just "act" busy, got it?".

Wow! My guess is that some of you have had this happen to you.

It seems that we have become a society of, "What do I have to do to get by?" instead of "What can I do to exceed expectations?".

My friend, this is not LIVING YOUR BEST. In my opinion, this is not living at all!

Do NOT fall into the trap of settling for less! Do not become "less" by adapting this attitude!

For example, many will say that a marriage is a 50/50 proposition, meaning that each gives 50%.

WRONG! Marriage is a 100/100 proposition and either person that gives less than 100% is not living up to their end of the deal!

IT IS UP TO YOU to make this happen in your life!

You can either be a thermometer OR a thermostat. Here's what I mean. A thermometer only registers the temperature around it. In other words, a thermometer only tells you "what is". However, a thermostat SETS the temperature that the thermometer registers. So, if you are a thermometer person - you basically just "go with the flow". But, if you are a thermostat person YOU set the pace!

It's so easy to slide into the thermometer lifestyle. Let me give you an example from my personal life. Back several years ago I was working for a company working a job just so that I could make ends meet. It wasn't the best job in the world but it helped put some food on the table. The good thing was that I was in the sales department so I had the opportunity to get out of the office - which was FULL of negativity - and mingle with the customers. The potential problem with this was the fact that most of these customers were very displeased with this company and the way that they had been doing business, so I usually got an ear full.

I was able to overcome that fairly easily - I was determined to giving them the best service possible! The problem was - those back at the office didn't seem to share my desire. It was a constant struggle to get the office to fulfill what needed to be done to give the customers the service that they were paying for!

I kept my positive attitude up for a while (I have to say that this was also before I was introduced to great men like Jim Rohn and other materials) but then began to hang around the office longer than I should. By doing so I began to hear and listen to the negativity that filled the air in that office. And, it wasn't long before I was joining right in and becoming a negative person myself. I had taken the path of least resistance and had become "one of them" instead of living the life of a thermostat!

Needless to say, it wasn't long before I quit this job to take on another one which was not a good one either.

Now, let me give you an example on the other side of the spectrum. This one is about my wife and her approach to situations like this. She lives the life of a thermostat and REFUSES to become a thermometer!

If you will actually notice, it just seems that most workplaces are full of negativity. People griping and complaining about what's not right and on and on. My guess is, your place of work is no different, right?

As my wife has begun a few of these jobs she would decide - from day one - that she was not going to give in to the negativity and that she was going to do her best to make everyone around her smile. Sounds kind of "wishful-thinking-like" doesn't it?

The best example is with one particular job at which everyone warned her about a particular assistant manager - a woman that was always in a terrible mood and was constantly griping at the other workers. My wife came home and told me about this and, with a gleam in her eye said, "I'm going to make sure that she smiles at least ONCE while I am working with her every day!" And, guess what? She did! Not only that, but the lady ended up smiling as soon as my wife would walk in the door and was pleasant with her - and the rest of the workers - the whole time!

Get this - the assistant manager even ended up knitting my wife a "throw" for the sofa!

My wife is a PRO at this and it's awesome to watch!

So, here's the thing for today: Are you LIVING your best by GIVING your best?

Think about it. Really be honest in your assessment of whether you are a THERMOMETER or a THERMOSTAT and understand that you CAN live a life of giving your best which, in turn, will cause you to LIVE your best!

And it begins today!

So, that being said, "Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Conclusion: KEY INGREDIENT in Recovery

The KEY INGREDIENT/PRINCIPLE

in Recovery from Unwise Decisions

All along I have been hinting at this "key principle" and today I will reveal it for those that find themselves suffering the consequences of making stupid decisions.

Our prisons are full of men and women - young and old alike - that are living with the consequences of stupid decisions. Yes, this is an extreme example, but it is a truth that we cannot ignore.

Think about this as well - apparently the possibility of serving prison time has not been that much of a deterrent for those on the verge of making a stupid decision. And, due to that lack of clear thinking - most of our prisons are overcrowded.

Let's look at this situation for a moment. After all, some of the examples that we used in our first podcast/blog entry dealt with some that either ARE spending time in prison or MAY be spending time in prison before it's all over. So, what happens with them now?


They have lost a lot of valuable time in their future as an athlete and may or may not be able to return to their career. Even those that MAY return will NEVER be the athlete that they were BEFORE making that unwise choice - that's just a fact of life and our physical bodies. They WILL have a record which will always be a part of their life history and will ALWAYS be something that potential employees will know about and want to get more information about.


The last part in the above paragraph will be true for anyone - athlete or not - that has served time in prison. This will also be true: there will be many people that will prejudge them due to the fact that they have been in prison.


Is this fair? It really doesn't matter if you think it is fair or not - it is another fact of life. And, honestly, it is an extended part of the consequences that come from making an unwise decision. "But I've paid my debt to society!" Yes, that may be true, but the consequences from unwise decisions can linger long past the time frame that we would wish.

Now then - for others that may not be spending prison time but still are feeling the hurt and pain of the consequences of making stupid decisions the road may be just as long. You may have lost your job, completely destroyed your relationship with your family and/or even lost your health due to an unwise decision.

Here's the thing for anyone and everyone that find themselves stinging from the consequences...you CAN make amends, but consequences will come and they WILL be paid!


You can say, "I'm sorry" - you can pay back money - you can serve prison time - but you can NEVER go back and undo what has been done. That, my friend, is an impossibility.


That's why it is SO important for all of us to think clearly BEFORE finding ourselves in a situation that will be controlled by emotions --- what happens next can NEVER be undone!


What then? Are you done? Finished? Worthless? Should you just "throw in the towel" and not even try now that your life seems to be ruined? If you feel that you have lost everything - is there any reason to try to improve or should you just let go and follow the path of least resistance?

It's up to you. It's YOUR choice. No one can make this decision for you, but it IS a decision that you WILL make. Yes, "doing nothing" IS a choice.


So, are you ready to find out the KEY PRINCIPLE that anyone in this situation MUST FOLLOW if they desire to live a productive, positive and successful life even AFTER making a stupid decision that has cost them dearly?

Here it is: "Understand that this is NOT the end!"

Hey, again, if you follow me regularly you know that I like to make things simple. The wording and the length of the sentence makes this KEY PRINCIPLE appear to be simple - but it's not as simple as it may appear!

One that finds themselves in this situation will have to fight, scratch and claw every step on the way to instill the positive influences necessary into their minds and then implement them into their lives. Negativity will want to rule and ruin your life - BUT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CANNOT SURRENDER AND GIVE UP! This is NOT the end!

"As long as there is breath there is HOPE!" - See how important this quote is?

A quote from Jim Rohn really has great significance in this situation as well: "The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become."

Now, I know this may sound a little silly to some, but think about it - especially if you find yourself in this situation... You now have the chance to start all over again! This CAN even be an exciting time for you if you approach it in this way!

YES, now you MUST go back and look at what I have covered in this series of discussions and realize that you now must approach things in a whole different way.

In other words - YOU MUST CHANGE! And that means you must change pretty much everything! You must change the so-called friends that you had in the past. You must change the places where you spent your time before. You must change your attitude and your mindset. YOU must change YOU!

If you don't then NOTHING will change for you and your life!

So now, wherever you are - you must "re-map" your life and decide where you want your life to go and how you want your "new life" to look! Along with that you MUST make decisions EARLY as far as what that means for your life!

This part - making decisions EARLY - is the part that tells you just change your environment as I discussed a couple of paragraphs earlier. Decide NOW how important it is for you to transform your life!

Will this be easy? Likely not.

Is this impossible? NO, it is not!

But is IS up to you!

And, believe it or not, there are many people that are willing to help you make the right steps along the way. Oh, you may never even meet these people - but through their books, podcasts and other materials you can gain GREAT strides in moving in the right direction.

Remember: "THIS IS NOT THE END!"

And, think about this - I close with this little quote every day...but now think about how important it is IF you are one that must begin rebuilding their life....it all happens one day at at time. So...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Decisions - Part 5: "Yeah, Adults, Too!"

"Yeah, Adults, Too!"

Hopefully, as adults, we are wiser than when we were younger! I'm not sure who wrote the song but I know I've heard it sung by Rod Stewart with the words, "I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger!" Nice thought, right?

But, the fact is - it doesn't work that way....it works just the opposite. We know more now than we did earlier but the key question is this: Has it made a difference in our ability to make wise choices?

For some, yes and for others, apparently not!

Now, again, let me clarify something - even the "smartest" and "most prepared" people in the world still sometimes make wrong choices. As adults, we are not immune to such things.

But, we should be able to LIMIT these poor choices a lot better than we did before simply because of our experiences in living life.

Stupid decisions come in all forms, don't they? They don't always have to be centered around marital infidelity as was mentioned in the last example given in our first episode in this series. Don't you know - hopefully - that the pro golfer who's career is basically ruined for the moment and who's family life is apparently is in shambles really regrets his unwise choices?

The reason I say, "hopefully" is that - and we've all seen this from time to time - sometimes people still refuse to admit that they made a mistake! People with this mindset are doomed to repeat stupid mistakes over and over again.

Be sure to come back tomorrow as we talk about the one "key principle" that must be followed in order for us to recover and still be productive following these HUGE mistakes.

Now then, if we, as adults, SHOULD make better decisions now, due to our experiences, WHY DON'T WE?

I know that some people may think that I "over-generalize" on some of this and, if I do, it is not intentional. I know that not ALL young people are alike or act the same. There are MANY young people that DO think things through ahead of time and that DO consider the consequences and make wise choices.

However, for the most part - in general - young people DON'T think about consequences OR, if they do, they think that they will be the exception. Why? Some of it is simply the bravado of youth and some of it is the basic feeling of invincibility that young people feel. I remember not even thinking about the possibility that I could be killed or terribly injured OR kill or injure someone else when I drove WAY beyond my experience level. In other words, I drove like an idiot!

Some of this is what we LOVE about youth - RISK TAKING!

However, all of us - young or old - must remember that, "With every night comes a morning after!".

As we get older and take on more responsibility (family, for example) we tend to "tone down" some of these youthful exuberance and think a little more about consequences. Yes, I know sometimes this leads to us being SO CAREFUL that we fail to live life, but that is another topic for another time.

Our experience can also be our downfall at times. Let me explain what I mean.

As adults, sometimes we begin to feel wise beyond our years (kind of like me driving when I was a teenager!). As adults, we feel that, through observation and experience we have it all figured out and, due to that experience - and so called "wisdom" - we can avoid the possible consequences. We've figured it all out! It won't happen to us!

Wow, sounds a whole like how young people think, if you ask me! The difference is this - when you are young, you THINK you know, but you don't due to your inexperience that comes from being young! However, as an adult, you SHOULD know and you SHOULD know better! But, for whatever reason, when temptation comes our way - in WHATEVER form - we convince ourselves that we are invincible - not due to our youth, but due to our self-perceived "wisdom".

To me, this is much sadder than seeing a young person (teen or young adult) make some of these mistakes. Why? Because as a teen or young adult, it's part of the process and HOPEFULLY you wise up before you make the HUGE blunders!

But, for an adult - YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER! You've seen countless lives ruined by making the same STUPID decisions...."but it won't happen to me!"

This applies to our relationships with our spouses and families but it also applies to ANY unwise choice that we are considering. Perhaps it has something to do with your work in some way that you have decided to cheat the company or take some sort of shortcut to bring you some financial reward.

THINK! THINK! THINK!

Remember the first basic principle that we talked about early on? First and foremost we must consider what we want our life to look like! Where do we want to go with our lives and what will that look like?

ADULT, WAKE UP! Regardless of your age, this is a process that we must STILL continue! We must STILL ask ourselves - especially when considering something that is unwise - what do want our life to look like on the other side of this? IF I choose to go through this, what might happen?

Instead of thinking, "It won't happen to me!" why not think, "What if I DO get caught and/or what if this backfires - what will happen then?"

I have talked with many an adult that felt absolutely foolish after having these unwise decisions backfire on them. And, yes, many times these are the words that come out of their mouths: "I can't believe I did that! What was I thinking? I just didn't think it would go this far and I just didn't think it would turn out this way."

But, guess what? It did. It does. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE!

Honestly ask yourself this question....if you KNEW that after following through with this "thing" (whatever it is) that you know deep down is not wise, you would loose everything that you have - your family (ALL of your family), your job, your house and your dignity - would you still go through with it?

No, don't say, "But it won't!" - ask yourself what if you DO! No doubts - 100% sure that you will end up on the other side with nothing....would you still go through with it?

Here's the scary thought...many adults get up in the bravado of "experience" (as opposed to the bravado of youth) and still try to say that they WILL go through with it because they know nothing bad will happen. It won't happen to them.

Sad.

But it doesn't have to be IF we wake up and THINK long before we get to that situation -- this, again, is the FOUNDATIONAL principle we talked about first and foremost. It also goes along with what we discussed about making your decision EARLY instead of waiting until you are in the "heat of battle" or in the clutches of the temptation - whether sex, prestige, power or all three.

We, as adults, must also consider the point of, "Who are you listening to?". Seriously, pay close attention to this one as well!

I have been saying all along that everything that we have talked about in this series applied to adults just as much as it did to teens or young adults.

However, I felt the need to address this specifically BECAUSE ADULTS SOMETIMES FEEL THAT THEY ARE IMMUNE to the mistakes that they would make earlier on in their lives.

That, in itself, shows poor judgment, wouldn't you agree?

Again, be sure to join me tomorrow as I bring this discussion to a conclusion and talk about how ANYONE can recover from even the worst of decisions and live a productive life IF they follow this one key principle.

Until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Decisions: "What If?"

Part 4: "Decisions: What If?"

I hope that this series has been beneficial for you - I know it is always helpful for me to revisit these thoughts and ideas for my own life. Why? Because we ALL - including myself - are susceptible to making unwise choices!

Each of us has the tendency to "get off course" from time to time and not follow the map we have plotted out for where we want to go.

Getting off course does not mean that we must give up!

Think about that and use the "travel and map" scenario that I have been using during this discussion. If you discover that you have taken a wrong turn on your journey (hey, men NEVER get lost - we just get temporarily turned around from time to time!) what do you do?

Imagine someone in that situation saying to his wife, "Well, we took a wrong turn and there's nothing we can do about it. We're stuck here and there's nothing we can do about it. So, wherever it is that we are right now - this is our new home whether we like it or not!"

The response: "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

Question: if you wouldn't do that in the scenario described then why would you do that with your life - something far more important than a trip in an automobile?

No, we would not do what is described above, would we? We would simply look at the map, try to figure out where we took the wrong turn (a very important step, especially for our lives) and then figure out how to get back ON the right course. Then, we follow our new plan to get back on course with our original plan.

It's really pretty simple to see when you look at it that way, isn't it?

Yet, it's not so easy in real life, is it?

It's NOT easy but, also remember - it's NOT impossible to recover from making STUPID decisions! It's hard to do and a lot of people will do all they can to convince you to give up (the negative forces will be working overtime on you!), but you CAN do it if you are determined to do so.

But, WHAT IF?

Let's stick to the same scenario that I've been using so far....WHAT IF you had never taken that wrong turn? Would there be a need to try to figure out what went wrong? Would you be stuck on the side of the road somewhere that you had not planned to be? Would you have to re-figure a way to get back on track? NO!

So it is with making poor choices and decisions. Each of us can go back - if we really want to figure this out - and find a point that can cause us to ask ourselves, "WHAT IF?".

Here's an excellent example about the first situation I discussed on Monday's podcast and on Monday's blog about the college football player seemed to make one bad decision after another. It's about the "what if" factor in his life. If you would, finish reading this blog and then click the link and go to the story - but here it is:

http://www.thefootballexpert.com/mauriceclarettwhatif080001.html

Here's the thing - we ALL make mistakes and will continue to make them as long as we live. HOWEVER, we CAN limit the situations that cause us to ask, "WHAT IF?".

Living a life full of "what ifs" is no way to live and it is no way to progress toward your goals and dreams.

----- We are coming closer to the conclusion of this discussion so be sure to join me back here for the next installment. Thank you for listening and/or reading and I'd appreciate any feedback that you may have. You can either comment directly on this blog OR send me an e-mail at: mike@futureyouuniversity.com

Thanks again and, always remember...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike