Plenty of watering.
No, no, no...that's not what I'm talking about!
In today's podcast I talk about two ideas:
1. Things don't always go as planned (the last blog entry and the podcast from Monday)
2. NEW isn't always better
The combination of those bring up the old saying, "The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence." And then there is the quote from Erma Bombeck that says, "The grass is always greener over the septic tank!"
It's easy for us to think that "others" have it better and that "other things" are better than our own - especially when things are not going as we had planned in our own lives.
Think about it - when are the times that you think that other people HAVE TO HAVE a better marriage than you? Isn't it when you are going through turmoil with your spouse? Is that what you had in mind when you got married? Of course it's not! Yet, most of us realize that those times will come and go IF we are dedicated to seeing it through. One reason affairs happen is due to what I call "the affair effect". Things aren't going well in your marriage. There are lots of arguments and disagreements. You find someone that lends you a shoulder to cry on and/or a listening ear. Wow! Someone that actually listens! And, you know what? They are attractive! Their hair is combed and they smell good! It seems that when you are with that person that everything else just doesn't matter - it's just you and them! They pay attention to YOU! They laugh at your jokes! Then it tends to go one step further and you kiss - WOW! - there are the fireworks that you remember having with your mate a long, long time ago, but THIS person really "lights your fire"! Secret meetings begin and the sex is unbelievable! Again, the world seems to stop when the two of you are together!
Hold the phone, chief. Have you ever stopped to consider the parameters on all of this? You are talking to and having an affair with someone without all of the distractions of everyday life! They listen to you? Do you think they would always have that "listening ear" when there are a hundred other things going on in your lives? No. And they are attractive! When do you usually see them? What if you were with them while they were taking care of your sick children and/or they were sick themselves? What if you saw them first thing in the morning and their hair was not all fixed up just for you? And, no, just because you spent the night with them and saw them in the morning is NOT the same thing! And, by the way, the "mind blowing sex" is once again due to... a) the newness of it all b) no distractions c) the thrill of the forbidden
So, get over yourself and realize that if you decided to jump into this all the way, leave your spouse and move in with this person that it will just be a matter of time before the exciting becomes routine - and then what?
When are the times that you think other peoples' homes are better than yours? Well, for one, isn't it when something is wrong with yours and it's going to cost you money to fix it? Again, not what you had in mind when you bought and fell in love with that house. It could also be when you have been in someone else's home and it looks so nice and clean and spacious! (Remember, they were expecting company - come back and see it unannounced! It's the same theory behind the "affair effect" mentioned above).
You see, the problems in our lives and, yes, even the people that bring some of the problems into our lives are the people and things that make us who we are! When we take off the "rose colored glasses" and see things as they really are, we often learn to appreciate even more those around us as well as the things that are around us.
Hey, the next time you think your house is not what you want or your car is not as fancy as you'd like - travel to a third world country for a short spell. I can promise you that you WILL come back with a whole new appreciation for what you DO have!
So, you see, the question, "What makes YOUR grass green?" is simply meant to help you focus on what makes you who you are. What is it - who is it - in your life that enriches your life? Helps you grow? Challenges you? Teaches you? Strengthens you? Helps you become a stronger and better you?
Think about that and be thankful for those things and people - yes, even when they don't always go as planned - that help make YOUR grass green!
And, as always -
"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"