Lies KILL Relationships!

Lies destroy. Lies hurt. Lies kill.

 

Yeah, I am getting straight to the point and I'm hitting this one hard.

 

Believe the Bible or not, that is up to you, but here are a couple of things it has to say about lying: "the devil...is a liar and the father of it." (John 8:44) and, again, in reference to the devil, in John 10:10 it says, "...does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...".

 

Again, believe it or not, but the main point I want to make with that is that LYING IS EVIL and is bent on DESTRUCTION.

 

It doesn't matter what level of relationship you want to consider, LIES KILL RELATIONSHIPS!

 

I really want you to encourage you to seriously consider this. No, I'm not going to get into this senseless discussion of "little white lies" and all of that other silliness that so many want to waste time with - LET'S GET REAL.


 

We ALL hate it when we feel that we have been taken advantage of by some salesperson due to them telling us a lie or lies in order to get us to buy some product. We will complain to anyone that will listen to how angry we are at this injustice.

 

And you should be.

 

But, think about this - that person doesn't even know you. No matter how much they want to try to convince you that they have your best interest at heart, they don't know you and they don't have much of a relationship to you or with you. YES, it is still wrong for them to lie to you and to be deceitful. BUT HELP ME OUT ON THIS - why then, do we treat those that we DO have close relationships with such abandon and lack of care by lying or accepting lies?

 

Lying shows a lack of HONOR and RESPECT for a person. There is NO honor or respect when there is the existence of lies.

 

We talked about the idea of being devalued by others. This is a prime example. PAY ATTENTION.

 

When you lie to another individual (and I don't really care if it's a customer or your best friend or your spouse) you DEVALUE that person and you also DISRESPECT that person!

 

When you allow others to lie to you and, even once you discover this habit, you allow that practice to continue, YOU are ALLOWING and ACCEPTING that persons DEVALUATION and DISRESPECT of you.

 

"For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth." - Bo Bennett

 

And, we've likely all heard this quote from Sir Walter Scott: "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."

 

Relationships - at ANY level - matter.

 

Treat them that way and see what happens in your life and in the lives of those around you.

 

And, as you do so, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you) "

 

Mike

 

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No More Left Overs!

 

 

I'm so glad that I didn't live during the time when kids ate only after the adults had their meal first. ESPECIALLY when I was a kid! I'm sure "Momma" fixed plenty of food for all but, at the same time, the kids got what was left over, hence the term "left overs".

 

Now, I honestly like some left overs when it comes to food. I enjoy "turkey-burgers" from a Thanksgiving meal about as much as the meal itself. Many others are like me in that way.

 

However, eating a turkey-burger from the Thanksgiving Day turkey is something that I do by CHOICE. I have not been forced to wait and see what was left before I could decide what my meal would be. You can read of other situations in history when all that was left was crumbs and these crumbs were all that were available for some.

 

THAT'S the image I want in your mind as we talk about your life (and mine).

 

This ties in so closely to the last article about understanding your VALUE and your WORTH and not giving out any more "discounts" of yourself to others.

 

There are varying degrees of this type of behavior and acceptance and some may not even realize that they are living a life that is accepting "left overs" from those around them. Today I want to encourage you to STOP living a life of left overs!

 

It may be a wife accepting this life of left overs from her husband. It may be a Mom that has allowed her children to conduct themselves in such a way that she is living this life of left overs from them.

 

It may be an adult that grew up in a home where they accepted this type of behavior from their parents because, to a large extent, they had to. But now, as an adult, they still accept this life of left overs from their parents because they have not learned how to break that habit.

 

It may be a person that has this type of situation at work and are living a life of left overs from their boss or even their co-workers. It may be a person that has accepted this from their circle of friends.

 

PAY ATTENTION TO THIS: Yes, it may even be a man that has accepted this life of left overs from his wife, his children, his parents, co-workers and circle of friends. Many times men like to separate themselves from this type of truth - but it IS true with some.

 

When others put everything and everyone else ahead of you and then show you "attention" or support only as an afterthought then, friend, you are living a life of left overs. Go back and read the last article again or for the first time. YOU ARE OF MORE VALUE THAN THIS!

 

Now obviously I'm not talking about being an attention seeking diva. I think you know that.

 

I'm talking about you or maybe someone you know that is allowing this to happen in their lives. Many times it is allowed because the one accepting this life style doesn't quite know how to stop it from happening.

 

You may need professional help and there is NO SHAME in that! Many have years of abuse (remember, abuse does not always have to be physical) in their lives that must be approached with someone that is trained to help them through this. Don't be afraid to search this out.

 

I do hope that just by reading the blog articles this week and by listening to the podcasts that you may be inspired enough to stand up, claim your value and act accordingly.

 

You ARE worthy. Don't ever forget that and do NOT allow others to treat you in any way other than acknowledgement of that fact.

 

Again, I'm here and would love to hear from you at any time. And men, don't forget, that includes you, too!

 

Sit down and "eat" all that life has to offer and stop waiting around to see what is left over before you do! And, as you do so, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

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The Value of NOW!

"The Value of NOW!"

The other day I posted something about what my friend, Jim Ferguson mentioned during our "Goals" class this past Tuesday night. He said something along the lines of, "Yes, let's all be planning for our future but let's not forget to ENJOY today!"

Isn't that something we ALL need to be reminded of from time to time? I can answer that for you - "YES!"

My guess is that everyone of you that are reading this blog entry has a calendar nearby. And, that being so, my guess is that you have things written on that calendar that has to be done or places that you have to be at a certain time on a certain day.

Some years back when I was working as a youth minister I was always working my calendar a year in advance. That's the way I had to do it to make sure that things were taken care of with many of these plans. Let me tell you - if there is ever a way for time to "fly by" and for you to "miss" the importance of today.... start planning your life a year or so in advance!

Yes, we all need to be making plans for our future. We all need to be setting goals for ourselves with some sort of timeline as to when we'd like to reach that goal. Yes, there are things we MUST put on our calendars in advance so that we can make sure we don't forget that appointment or whatever it may be.

JUST DON'T FORGET TO LIVE TODAY!

Men and women have worked long and hard hours in order to provide for their families and to ensure a well-funded retirement. However, many times, in doing so they have lost the love and/or respect of their children because the parent was never around for the events that made each day special in the life of that child. Too, many times that person got ready to enjoy their retirement and found that they would be going through retirement alone because their spouse, just like their children, had grown tired of the day being set aside for the future.

A friend of mine shared some great insight on this in response to what I posted about Jim's comment. Here's what she said:

"I learned this lesson well by the passing of my grandparents who died in their mid to late 50's. My grandmother had just retired an my papa was just about to when they both passed away. We save but I intend to enjoy life an make many fun memories with my family because even though you have a future ahead of you it's not promised."

Sad, but so true. Likely, we've all seen this in some way and vow for it not to happen to us... but, many times it still does.

This is a fine line that we all walk and we don't always do well in this area. However, the main thing is for us to be AWARE of our tendency to live too much for the future and to do our best to LIVE TODAY!

You've heard me say it and/or seen me type it in my articles - once today is gone, it is gone forever, never to be reclaimed. Today - as I type this - is Thursday, March 25, 2010. When this day is done there will NEVER be another Thursday, March 25, 2010. Ever. Gone forever.

So, the challenge for each of us is to not lose sight of this fact. We need to do whatever we need to do to call our attention to TODAY! Perhaps set ourselves a reminder on all of our little gadgets so that it will "pop up" during the day and remind us to, "LIVE TODAY!".

Remember, "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!"

The most expensive items (art, automobiles or ANY item) are those that are "one of a kind" or the only one left in existence. Guess what? So it is with TODAY.

Today truly is "one of a kind" and the only one left in existence.

Pretty valuable, wouldn't you say?

Live it, love it, share it! And, as you do so...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

YOU Own the Pricing Gun!

Yesterday we talked about the fact that we do not need to allow ANYONE to try to determine our value and/or our worth. But yet, sometimes that is easier said than done, right?

Here's the thing - just because something is easier said than done does NOT mean that we should not do all within our power to DO IT! Hey, if that were the case we'd all give up ANY attempt at improving our lives because it's not always easy.

Is it?

Of course not! And, when we have people around us that seem to take joy in trying to determine our worth and convince us of THEIR view in this regard - well, that just makes it a little tougher!

However, REMEMBER: use that "negative garbage" to fuel the fire for your future! Use the words, "You can't" or "You never will" to drive you to look back at them with, "I DID!".

Now, I know that sometimes we all have problems realizing our own worth. Many times it is because of the input and impact of others, but sometimes we just don't feel very valuable.

In today's podcast I talk about the art work of the greats and the fact that they were not considered so great while they were alive! The phrase, "starving artist" came from the fact that many of these artists were literally starving because no one would pay them anything - or much of anything - for their work!

But now, long after these artists have been dead, their work may be worth MILLIONS!

With that in mind, think about YOUR life and the fact that YOU'RE NOT DONE YET! I mentioned the phrase, "Please be patient with me. God isn't done with me yet!", to encourage all of us to realize that this is a true fact! WE'RE NOT DONE and, that being so, NO ONE (not even ourselves at time) can determine the value of our lives!

Do you understand and realize that you may likely never know the extent of your reach? What do I mean by that? When you reach out with a kind word or deed to someone do you really think that it stops there? My friend, the truth is, IT DOES NOT!

You likely never see the IMPACT of your kind word or kind deed on that person and how it may encourage them to do the same for someone else. And then, guess what? THAT person may be impacted in such a way so as to "pay it forward" to still another person. I wonder how far reaching that kind word or deed that YOU did really is?

WE HAVE NO IDEA! Isn't that exciting to think about?

So, my friend, don't "devalue" your existence and your life! You truly have no idea how valuable you really are to some that you may never know and that may never know you!

The Christmas classic, "It's A Wonderful Life" is a great example of this! When the lead character played by Jimmy Stewart is shown the IMPACT made if he had NOT existed, he is able to see how far reaching his "little existence" really was!

And so it is with YOU...with ALL of us!

So, remember - NO ONE else but YOU owns the pricing gun on your life! And, likely, NOW is NOT the time to put that price tag on your life just yet. But, even if you do, know this - THAT VALUE CONTINUES TO GO UP DAY AFTER DAY!

That's just plain ol' cool!

And, friend, as you go about sharing your value and worth...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

From "You Can't" to "I DID!"

From "You Can't" to "I Did!"

Who do YOU let decide your future?

Going back to what we talked about yesterday and using the "garbage" of negative thoughts to "fuel the fire of our future pursuits" I want to continue to encourage us all to understand and realize that WE are the ones that determine the value of our lives!

My friend, Mike Magdaleno (http://www.MikeMagdaleno.com) shared a quote by Brian Tracy on one of his Facebook status updates yesterday - "Say no to anything that is not a high-value use of your time and your life." I made a comment that the challenge many times was determining the value of these things in our lives. I loved Mike's comment about that - "Make sure YOU (emphasis mine) determine the value and not outside forces, ego, etc."

Many of us, if not ALL of us, have had others try to determine our value and our worth for us. And, as we all know, they don't hesitate to share with us (dump on us?) their opinion about this matter! Remember the story I used yesterday as the basis of my discussion? "You are an exhibition of failure and all the children in school need to know about you..."

How DARE anyone say that about a child! How DARE anyone say that about ANY other person! And now, may I step on YOUR toes? How DARE you allow it and/or believe it!

Now, I understand that, as a child, you may have felt helpless and intimidated. But what I'm talking about is now that you are an adult. How DARE you allow this in YOUR life!

That's how determined we MUST become in taking control over this most important aspect of our life - OUR WORTH AND VALUE!

If that has happened to you in the past, perhaps as a child, do NOT allow those cruel words to continue to control your life or determine your value and worth. ENOUGH! Understand that NO OTHER HUMAN has the right (or the ability) to determine your worth and/or your value!

If you have those around you in your life now, as an adult, you MUST reject this negative influence by not allowing these harmful words to become a belief in your life AND I would suggest that you strongly consider ridding your life of these people if at all possible.

Friends? I would strongly suggest otherwise.

If you have no way around it, then use this to fuel your future!

Even if you DO have a way around it and you have removed it from your life then you likely still feel the effects of those harmful words. Hey, whoever said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" didn't have a CLUE what they were talking about! So, even if this is something from the past, you likely still feel the sting. USE that to fuel your drive for success!

Use the words, "You can't!" to drive you to success where you can say (with pride), "I DID!"

I LOVE THAT, don't you?

Tomorrow we are going to continue with this discussion with examples of others that I know that have had people tell them, "YOU CAN'T". And, guess what? Yup, you guessed it - THEY DID and they STILL ARE doing!

I love it, I love it, I love it!

Hey, whatever you do and wherever you go, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike