Mike's Quotes #41: Be Honest With Yourself

“Be HONEST with yourself! 
If you’re not going to be honest with yourself, you’re not going to be honest with anyone else.” - Mike Spillman (11/25/2019)

This article is being published on January 30, 2020...one day before the end of the first month of this new year. How are you doing with whatever goals that you set for yourself at the start of this month?

Even if we're not talking about "New Year's Resolutions", I'm sure you DID make some sort of goals and plans for your life for 2020, right? Again, the first month of this year is all but gone and the question remains: "How are you doing and how have you done so far?"

What kind of "self-talk" will you have with yourself about those two questions? What will you tell yourself? Will you be HONEST with yourself in the process? I can hear you now, "Mike! How DARE you suggest that I would not be honest with myself!"

I hope you ARE honest with yourself and that you WILL BE honest with yourself when considering the two questions I proposed a couple of paragraphs ago. Here's the thing: the easiest person in the world to be dishonest with is yourself!

That's right. It's actually very EASY to be DISHONEST with yourself and, at the same time, YOU are the HARDEST person to be honest with when it comes to that "heart to heart" talk with yourself.

However, if you truly plan to move forward in your life toward whatever goals and dreams you have for yourself, you first and foremost MUST be honest with yourself at all times. Stop making excuses and, as part of that process, lying to yourself.

Be honest with yourself. Be real. Stop hiding. Stop making excuses and be brutally honest.

That's the only way.

And it begins NOW.

The next article will tie into this one and I also encourage you to access the podcast and video that goes along with today's topic. All of the links can be found below.

Until next time, look yourself in the mirror and have that BRUTALLY HONEST conversation with yourself and, whatever you do, always be sure to...


"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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Today, I Will Do My Best To Be...

"Today, I Will Do My Best to Be HONORABLE, TRUSTWORTHY and PLEASING TO GOD."

If you've not done so already, be sure to go to the podcast (links found below) and listen as well as reading this article. Same topic, yes, but additional material that you can only get by listening to the podcast version on this topic.

Right off, let's get this "out there" - I'm a believer and, much of what I do and say, reflects that belief as well as my Faith. But, even if you don't believe what I do or as I do, you can still benefit from what I'm going to share with you today.

The phrase that you see highlighted right below the graphic is actually the phrase that you see the red arrow pointing to and the red box around, on my white board. Yep, that's an actual picture of my white board and some of those things on there have been there for quite some time. Sure, feel free to enlarge that picture and take a look around - I'll be sharing each of those things with you over the next several podcasts.

Let me give you a little background information on how this phrase came to be. Again, listen to the podcast to get the "full version". Basically, during a time period that one of my boys was going through in which he was struggling with telling a lie as opposed to the truth, I had him writing sentences as a form of punishment. I also wanted it to be a learning process BUT the lesson that I was teaching at the start of this process was not what I really wanted him to learn. And I didn't catch that fact right away.

Pretty much, I had him writing that he was a liar and that it was not good to be a person that no one could trust or believe. Now, overall, I think that is a powerful lesson that all young people need to understand and learn. Too many people think that it is o.k. to lie and not be honest and they don't think (or, many times, even care) what the consequences are to their life and the lives of those around them.

But, here's what got me. I finally realized that I was having him state these words into his mind and mindset - "I am a liar..." Our words are so powerful and I was making the mistake of directing him to speak these words of defeat into his life.

So I came up with a different approach - the phrase that you see featured for today's article.

Yeah, he still had some sentences that he need to write as part of his punishment/discipline but, now, instead of speaking words of defeat into his life, I now had him writing down a positive affirmation and commitment to strive for something better. And, as part of that process, to BECOME someone better.

Let's take a quick look at a few components of this powerful phrase...

"Today" - The time is NOW! We have no promise for tomorrow and yesterday is history so, in reality, all we have is TODAY and THIS is the day that I will take steps forward in my journey.

"I" - No one else to blame. No one else to expect to do it for you. It's up to me. I am the one responsible and I will be the one to take the needed action in and for my life!

"Will Do My Best" - I'm not striving to be perfect but to simply do my best and to try to be my best. It doesn't mean that I'm taking the easy way out but, rather, that I am committing to actually DOING MY BEST in this endeavor. If I fail and come up short, I will pick myself back up, dust myself off, and continue on striving to "do my best".

"Honorable" - To be HONORABLE is to be a person of HONOR and respect. I am dedicated to living my life (to the best of my ability) as a person "of honor" or a person that strives to live, act, think, and speak in a way that lifts ME up as well as those that are around me.

"Trustworthy" - I want to be a person of trust or a person that can be trusted. I strive to be a person that others KNOW that my word is truth. In other words, I want to be a person that, for one, that doesn't have to make all kinds of silly "I-swear-by-this-or-that" statements to try to get people to believe me. I don't want to have to try and remember what I said to one person or another to make sure that I don't contradict myself. I want to be known for truth - pure and simple. I also want to be one that others know that they can depend on me and that what I say I will do, I will do. Period.

"Pleasing to God" - For me, I want to honor my Maker by doing my best to please Him and live by His ways. In my opinion, living by His ways will make me a better person and a person that brings more value to those around me. For me, striving to be "pleasing to God" calls me to a level of commitment that I need to help me rise up to a higher level for myself. Make sense?

Bottom line: Adapt this however you need to do so but, whatever you do, COMMIT TO BEING A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Starting today. Right here and right now.

Once again, if you haven't done so yet, you need to listen to the podcast on today's topic. Just click one of the links at the bottom of this article to do so. There is SO MUCH MORE information and additional thoughts that I share with you there that is not found in this article. 

If you listen by going to iTunes, please take a moment and leave a review - I thank you in advance! Also, be sure to stop by the FYU fan page on Facebook and let me know that you left that review AND to just say "hello" and let me know that you are benefiting from Future You University. 

As always, THANKS for joining me today and, please, share this with as many as possible and always be sure to keep moving forward, closer to your dream!

And, until next time, whatever you do,  be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

The Importance of Asking "Why?"

In my last blog article, I discussed the thought of asking "WHY?" in every area of our lives. If you haven't read it, be sure to go back and read it.

In this article I want to expand on that thought and discuss the IMPORTANCE of doing just that....ASKING "WHY?". Or, in other words, "Why Ask Why?"

Here's one main thing to keep in mind when asking this question: You must be HONEST and TRUTHFUL in your answer!

Hey, listen, no one else even needs to know or hear your answer - only YOU! So, why in the world would you want to lie to yourself? (I'm not sure what the answer is on that but, the fact is, many people lie to themselves every single day. DON'T be one of those people.).

If you are SERIOUS about moving forward in your life and making improvement in your life, then this MUST be followed...you MUST be honest with yourself and with your answers. There is NO other way.

That's one reason it is so important to ask, "Why?" - it brings you face to face with the truth. And, yes, sometimes it is a brutal truth. But face it anyway.

Then, and only then, can you HONESTLY move forward from where you truly are. You see, not being truthful in your answer makes your whole life a life based on a lie. I know that you are wise enough to know that there is NO "firm foundation" when anything is built on a lie or lies.

Secondly, asking "Why?" also forces you to "re-focus" your attention on your PURPOSE in what you are doing - REGARDLESS of what it is that you are doing.

You can apply this following thought any way that you choose, but I believe we are here (our PURPOSE IN LIFE) to bless the lives of others in some way.

That's right, no matter what it is that you do (big or small), you have the opportunity to be a blessing in the life of someone else - and you may not even ever know about it!

And, finally, asking "Why?" brings you to your "starting point" or your "life location".

For example, if you plan to use a GPS to help you get to another location, you must first know where you are. Luckily, even if you are not sure where you are, your GPS device will TELL you where you are. Then, and only then, can you get adequate directions on how to get where you want to be.

Hmmmm...get the point?

If you give a "false reading" by telling yourself a "lie" in your answer to "Why?", then you will not be able to progress in the right - or correct - direction. Be true in this endeavor - no matter how brutal or painful it may be to admit the truth - so that you can move confidently in the direction of CHANGE for the BETTER.

You likely already knew these things. But, isn't that the way life is many times? We KNOW the answer and we actually KNOW what we need to do but it helps to have someone remind us of what we already know.

I hope that I have done that for you today. If so, I'd love to hear from you by either sending me an e-mail or connecting with me on the fan page on Facebook. You can also leave a comment below.

Thanks for you time today and, remember: Whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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LEARN From Your Past

Yesterday, we talked about not feeling ashamed or embarrassed about the need to "start over". We discussed the fact that any great invention was not invented successfully the first time that it was tried. The fact is that it took the person attempting to create that invention, the patience to START OVER again and again!

 

So, again, regardless of what you may read or hear somewhere else (remember that graphic that got me a little angry?), there is NO SHAME in having to START OVER! The shame would be if you actually QUIT and just gave up completely.

 

But that's not you!

 

So, as you think about starting over there IS one thing that we must really take into consideration in this process.

 

DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM YOUR PAST ATTEMPTS?

 

Think back to the example of the great inventors having to start over several times. What would you think if they kept doing the EXACT SAME THING that did NOT work over and over again? Would you not ask that person why they keep doing the same thing that did not work over and over again?

 

SURE YOU WOULD!

 

Friend, it should be no different for you or me. If you keep starting over but keep doing the same things over and over again then, guess what? YOU WILL KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES and you will CONTINUE to have to START OVER but with no hope of ever making any progress!

 

That, my friend, is a FACT!

 

Can we get brutally honest here? I hope you say "yes" because that is exactly what we are going to do!

 

From my own experience and from what I have seen, here is the #1 REASON why so many keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Are you ready?

 

PRIDE.

 

That's right...PRIDE!

 

What do I mean? The #1 reason why most people keep making the same mistakes is because their own PRIDE will not allow them to ADMIT THAT THEY MADE THE MISTAKES! It's easier to blame everyone and everything else for their mistakes.

 

That being so (and, friend, it is so a majority of the time), they do not learn anything and are destined to a perpetual cycle of making the same mistakes again and again, not learning a thing to correct these mistakes.

 

So, did your ego survive that? GOOD! (I'm assuming you said, "yes"!).

 

As much as that hurts and as much as some do not want to hear this truth, it IS the truth! You will find that if you will actually be willing to accept the fact that YOU are responsible for the mistakes then, friend, you have the ability to LEARN something and NOT make the same mistake again!

 

Now, here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to let all of this sink in and allow you to really open up and accept the responsibility that, yes, YOU could actually be the one responsible for what went wrong before. Yes, YOU!

 

I'm going to ask that you take the time to really, honestly, consider this possibility (I'm trying to be nice here) that this could be true and then take a GOOD LOOK at the past and see if you can actually pin-point some of the problem areas.

 

O.K.?

 

Then, tomorrow, we will come back and address some of these issues. Deal?

 

But, you MUST be open and willing to admit to mistakes if the mistakes are yours. Deal?

 

I hope so, because that is what I'm going to do tomorrow.

 

I think you will be surprised - and likely relieved - to find out that you are not the only person that has struggled with these issues.

 

So again, the ONLY SHAME is when you do not learn from your past mistakes and struggles. The time is NOW to stop that disastrous spiral, wouldn't you agree?

 

Good...let's get after it and begin moving forward toward our goals and dreams.

 

Until then, whatever you do, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

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Lies KILL Relationships!

Lies destroy. Lies hurt. Lies kill.

 

Yeah, I am getting straight to the point and I'm hitting this one hard.

 

Believe the Bible or not, that is up to you, but here are a couple of things it has to say about lying: "the devil...is a liar and the father of it." (John 8:44) and, again, in reference to the devil, in John 10:10 it says, "...does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...".

 

Again, believe it or not, but the main point I want to make with that is that LYING IS EVIL and is bent on DESTRUCTION.

 

It doesn't matter what level of relationship you want to consider, LIES KILL RELATIONSHIPS!

 

I really want you to encourage you to seriously consider this. No, I'm not going to get into this senseless discussion of "little white lies" and all of that other silliness that so many want to waste time with - LET'S GET REAL.


 

We ALL hate it when we feel that we have been taken advantage of by some salesperson due to them telling us a lie or lies in order to get us to buy some product. We will complain to anyone that will listen to how angry we are at this injustice.

 

And you should be.

 

But, think about this - that person doesn't even know you. No matter how much they want to try to convince you that they have your best interest at heart, they don't know you and they don't have much of a relationship to you or with you. YES, it is still wrong for them to lie to you and to be deceitful. BUT HELP ME OUT ON THIS - why then, do we treat those that we DO have close relationships with such abandon and lack of care by lying or accepting lies?

 

Lying shows a lack of HONOR and RESPECT for a person. There is NO honor or respect when there is the existence of lies.

 

We talked about the idea of being devalued by others. This is a prime example. PAY ATTENTION.

 

When you lie to another individual (and I don't really care if it's a customer or your best friend or your spouse) you DEVALUE that person and you also DISRESPECT that person!

 

When you allow others to lie to you and, even once you discover this habit, you allow that practice to continue, YOU are ALLOWING and ACCEPTING that persons DEVALUATION and DISRESPECT of you.

 

"For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth." - Bo Bennett

 

And, we've likely all heard this quote from Sir Walter Scott: "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."

 

Relationships - at ANY level - matter.

 

Treat them that way and see what happens in your life and in the lives of those around you.

 

And, as you do so, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you) "

 

Mike

 

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"RELATIONSHIPS: Family"

"RELATIONSHIPS: Family"

This entry marks the last in this discussion of "relationships" and I appreciate you for taking the time to read and/or listen to these. (Yes, you can access the podcast of all of my topics by going to http://www.michaelspillman.com/ ).

We have gone through a wide range of relationships from those that we come into contact with on a "semi-regular" basis such as a waiter or waitress, check out clerk or a parking attendant to name a few. We have also looked at the relationships that we have with our coworkers, our boss and different levels of our friends.

Now we look at what may be the most difficult level of relationships that we all deal with in our lives - our FAMILY.

Now, before I go any further let me say this - for some of you, you may feel that the relationship that you have with your CLOSET FRIEND like we discussed in the last article is one that is closer than anyone in your family. And, this may be true. After all, there are times that you share things with a close friend that you are afraid to bring up to someone in your family at the time. Perhaps you run it by the friend first to see what advice they may give you. This - among others - is one reason it is SO important to pick those close friends carefully! If you are going to ask and perhaps follow their advice then you need to make sure that the advice they give is actually GOOD advice.

I know from my own experiences growing up - as likely many of you can agree - that I got along better with my friends than I did my own brothers and sisters. One reason is that I didn't LIVE with my friends! Spending the amount of time with ANYONE that you spend with your immediate family might create problems.

By the way, this is one of the main attractions in an affair. That person that you are "attracted" to is one that, likely, is always "at their best" for you. You don't see them with baby food splattered on their dress and they don't see YOU with your "slobber trail" on your face first thing in the morning. It's easy to be attracted to what you don't see and/or deal with on a daily basis. That's one reason we say in MOST of our wedding vows something along the line of, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health".

Hey listen, family is not always what it should be.

Why? Because, again, they are human just as you and I are. Tough break, huh?

I know for those of you that are doing everything you can to develop and maintain a positive attitude that, sometimes, some members of our family actually act as a "roadblock" in this effort. I probably see this brought up in every discussion when someone decides to step out and try to improve their situation.

Hey, it doesn't even have to be when someone tries to get involved in some sort of "opportunity"! I've even heard from some that get criticized just because they seek out and read as much positive information (like this) as possible.

WHAT'S THE DEAL?

Honestly, I think it's the same deal with family as it is with anyone else. Anytime you try to better yourself you tend to force those around you (including family) to put the spot light on their own lives and their own decisions in this area. And, most don't like what they find. So, instead of putting the effort into improving their own lives, they find it easier to try to destroy YOUR efforts instead.

It would be nice if family reacted better than that but, many times, they just don't. So, what do you do about that?

When it comes to others in our lives it is likely easier to distance ourselves from those that try to derail our efforts than it is to do so with family. ESPECIALLY if you are living in the same house with them. You can try to talk to/with them and simply ask them how reading and absorbing positive information is something that is going to anything for you (and them!) but help.

Many people struggle with this with their own spouse. Ouch!

I honestly cannot tell you what to do in your situation but I would suggest first and foremost that you simply try to get them "on board" with you. Sometimes it is easier to let them SEE the change and difference in your life than it is to try to TELL them the benefits. Don't criticize them and tell them that THEY need to start getting into this stuff because by doing so you are indicating to them that they are not where they need to be. Sure, it may be true but to make them feel that way is going to do nothing but lead you to an argument.

In ALL of this - and I am talking specifically about your relationship with your spouse - TRUTH and HONESTY is the most important ingredient that you MUST have in this relationship.

Just like the relationship with your close friends that we discussed in the last article, it is AN ABSOLUTE MUST when you start talking about your spouse.

I have read in discussion groups of some talking about the fact that they bought into some sort of program behind their spouse's back and that, when they see them "coming around", they were going to tell them. DISASTER IN THE WORKS!!

TRUTH.

HONESTY.

I could write PAGES on this part but I won't (for now). As I said on the podcast version of this topic, if you don't have this in your relationship, you have nothing.

When you lie to your spouse you are DESTROYING that relationship. Oh please, stop trying to use that "white lie" or "for their own good" crap.

Picture it this way: Your relationship is a beautifully sculptured rock with much time and effort having been put into it to create this masterpiece. Every time you lie or are dishonest in any way is like you taking a chisel and chipping away at that masterpiece. Sure, the first few "chippings" may not seem to have any effect but, over time, each and every stroke contributes to it's total destruction.

Too many of us wonder what happened when it seemingly crumbles before us "out of the clear blue". It didn't happen overnight or "out of the clear blue". Don't ever forget that.

I'd love to hear from you on anything that I have shared with you on this series. Please feel free to share with me any thoughts and ideas on this - I'd love to hear from you.

Bottom line in ALL of your relationships - TRUTH and HONESTY will always bring about the BEST in any and all of your relationships.

TRUTH + HONESTY = TRUST.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II

"RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II"

(Your "Inner Circle" of Friends)

Even though we talked about friends in our last segment, today we take another step closer in our "relationship circle" and spend a few moments talking about the relationships we have with our closest friends.

That's right, today we are going to talk about the relationships we have with those very SPECIAL people that we know are there for us at a moments notice. Perhaps they are the Tonto to your Lone Ranger or the Robin to your Batman.

Get the point?

This is the kind of friend that, just by looking at you, can know if something is wrong and they know just what to say OR to maybe even say nothing at all and just be there with you.

Now, guys (men) - sadly, for many (if not most) of us, we generally do not have these kinds of relationships. Oh, I know some of you do but, more often than not, we don't. That could be another whole series of topics to discuss, right?

WARNING: Men and/or women...I would STRONGLY suggest to you that you make sure this type of friend is someone of the same sex as you. Why? So that, if either of you are married, your relationship with your spouse is not jeopardized by this "friendship".

Stop your justification and your whining. I'm speaking truth here and I suggest you really pay attention to this IF you wish to maintain the strong relationship with your spouse.

Now, back to the point at hand - these CLOSE friends and the relationship that you have with them.

We've already discussed this point in relation to ALL of our relationships but it is also worth repeating when we talk about this level of our relationships - because this relationship is made up of HUMAN BEINGS we WILL disappoint and be disappointed from time to time.

Got it?

There's no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. There will be times that you may argue and fight and sometimes it is because that friend is being straight with us when we don't WANT to hear the truth about some situation.

However, these are the type of relationships that, even when you have had a disagreement, you realize you cannot do without. You NEED this relationship in your life. You NEED this sounding board and this voice of reason in your life and, hopefully, the same is true of them and their need for you and this relationship in their life.

Here is the KEY INGREDIENT needed in such a relationship (yeah, it's two different words but it still speaks to the same point): TRUTH and HONESTY!

In order for you to truly have the kind of relationship that allows you to share your innermost thoughts with this person, you have to TRUST them when they tell you that what you share stays with them and that they will not share it with anyone else. And, it has to be the same with what they may need to share with you.

TRUST.

This is why, many times, we fail to have really close relationships. Why? Because, due to past issues when others have destroyed trust, we find it hard to trust again.

I understand that completely.

Are YOU trustworthy? Do YOU demand something out of your friend that you are not willing to commit to? This is a two-way street, friend.

And, hey, listen... we can ALL find someone to serve as a "yes man" in our lives, right? You know, the type of person that wants to please us so much and be our friend so much that they won't really be honest with us but, instead, will agree with us regardless. This is the kind of person that will tell you that you look GREAT even if you purposely put on some hideous outfit just to see what they would say.

THIS IS NOT A TRUE FRIEND.

A true friend will be HONEST with you even when you don't want to hear the honest truth. Now, they will be kind (unless you won't listen) in the process but they understand the depth of your friendship and the demand that such depth puts on the relationship to be HONEST.

Relationships are destroyed when trust and honesty is "thrown out the window".

In other words, when a relationship if void of truth and honesty then it is not a friendship relationship.

Think about that and let it soak in.

Can you forgive and be forgiven? YES!

And, again, if this is one of "those" TRUE relationships that have been messed up by our human frailty, then you (and the other party) will realize the value of the relationship and you will both be willing and ready to work out the hurt and move on.

But, know this - when trust is destroyed it will take a VERY LONG TIME for that trust to be established once again. And, to be honest with you, sometimes it can never be reestablished.

So, be careful and cherish this friendship. Be thankful and EXPRESS THAT THANKS to such a friend and do all that you can to protect that relationship with TRUTH and HONESTY!

I am happy to say that I have ONE such relationship in my life (thanks, Fred!) and I hope you have at least one and even more than one.

Any of us that has such a friend in life is truly blessed. Again, express that thanks to that friend and be committed to be the BEST friend that YOU can be as well.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

Life Without Lies

Life Without Lies

Deception is such a waste of time. It doesn't matter what area you might be talking about - deception or lying never proves to be a positive move. EVER!

Just think of all of the times we have all watched people (many times politicians) try to hide things in their lives only to be found out. And, usually, it cost them their dignity, their families and their jobs.

For what reason?

The same is true with the tendency to lie to ourselves as we have been discussing in the last two entries. What good does it do? What has it done for you so far?

HOW HAS THAT WORKED OUT FOR YOU?

Not so good, huh?

Instead of feeling better about yourself (which was the reason for the lie in the first place) you now actually feel worse than you could ever have imagined.

When you wake up to drink from the cup of HONESTY you find that you have done nothing but hurt yourself - and maybe others - in the process.

How so?

You have hurt yourself in that, not only have you not made progress but you have actually taken several steps backwards. You may have hurt others IF your desire of your goals was to improve the life of not only you, but your family. How has this helped them now?

Have I been too rough on you this week? Hey friend, if were were honest with ourselves and were disciplined enough to kick our own butts from time then you wouldn't need to have it done by someone else.

Agreed?

So, here's the deal - WHAT NOW?

It is totally up to you. The next step depends 100% on you!

It always has and it always will.

I will tell you this, though. Breaking away from a life of deception is not easy! You will likely need some help from someone that you trust and that CAN and WILL help hold you to some accountability. And, even at that, you can easily tell them to go take a hike when they call you on your deceptions.

But, you CAN do it and, if you really desire it, you WILL do it.

We'll talk more about that process in tomorrow's entry.

Until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Survivor: Character Counts!

Survivor: Character Counts!

For this week's last blog entry I wanted to share a few more thoughts on some things that I saw as part of this most recent season of "Survivor" which came to an end this past Sunday night.

I've already talked about Pavati's excuse of, "I had no choice!" in trying to defend her alliance with Russell - the most vile of the villains - when she realized that her decision to do so was starting to cost her in her bid to win the $1 million prize.

And that's exactly what it is - an EXCUSE!

Have you bought into that excuse in your own life? Have you decided that it's easier to give up any responsibility in and for you own life by claiming that you have no choice? Please don't!

There is ALWAYS a choice. Always. 100% of the time.

The choices that we have may not always be wonderful choices, fun choices or even choices that we particularly want to make, but there are ALWAYS choices and we make them every single day.

Deciding to do nothing, to wave the white flag of surrender and proclaim, "I give up! I have no choice" is a choice in itself. Please understand that it is a choice that will never lead you forward closer to your dreams and your goals.

The excuse, "I have no choice" is like a ball and chain tied around your ankle that will always weigh you down and keep you where you claim that you don't want to be.

Free yourself, take responsibility and open your eyes to the many choices that surround you each and every day!

Now on to the second part of today's discussion - CHARACTER COUNTS!

As I mentioned, Russell (in my opinion and apparently in the opinion of those that played with him and against him) was the most vile of the villains. He lied to anyone and everyone and told them whatever they wanted to hear. He continuously would tell someone one thing and then turn around and tell another person something completely different. He tried to threaten and bully everyone else because of his perceived "ultimate power and control" of the game.

He did well! He got all the way to the final three contestants - as he did in his last appearance on the show - who had a chance to win $1 million. And, just as it was the last time he was on the show, he really thought that he was the clear winner and that he would be rewarded the money.

Wrong!

Not only did he not win, he didn't even receive one vote from his peers deeming him worthy of the prize. Russell was shocked.

Really? Yes, really!

He felt - and even said - that those on the "jury" that he had helped kick off of the island and lied to (he had lied to each and every one of them) would respect (he actually used that word) the way that he played the game and that they would vote him in as the winner.

Wow. I don't believe anyone could ever be more "off" in their opinion and that of reality.

But, you see, this is one of the things I absolutely hate about this show. People have begun to believe that the phrase, "Outwit, Outlast, Outplay" means "Always Lie" in the process of the game.

That really bugs me! In my opinion, if you really want to see someone "outwit, outlast and outplay" then let's see someone do so WITHOUT lying! That, my friend, would be a person deserving of the $1 million!

But back to the main point - CHARACTER COUNTS!

Russell found out that, to his surprise, even in a game full of lies, CHARACTER COUNTS.

And, for those that follow the show that phrase does seem a little odd when talking ABOUT that show!

So many people live their lives conniving and scheming to get ahead and try to excuse their actions by saying something along the lines of, "Oh, that's just the way of the world!" and "If I don't do this I'll get chewed up and spit out!".

And yes, sadly, many people do get ahead in our world by living lives of dishonesty. (By the way, one thought I had about Russell was this - would you want to do business with him in the "real world" after watching how dishonest and conniving he was?).

But even when it may not seem to be so, please understand and stick to the belief that CHARACTER COUNTS!

It counts in defining who you are! It counts in defining your legacy that you will leave behind! It counts in what your children see in you - part of that legacy.

When you live a life of dishonesty and deceit you will always be living a life of discomfort and distrust. After all, if YOU are dishonest and deceitful then likely the people that you have around you are the same way. Watch out for that proverbial "knife in the back"!

However, even though those that live lives of character do not always see the immediate "reward", know this - YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BLESSED BY LIVING IN SUCH A WAY!

Yes, you will. Your life will be blessed with TRUE and HONEST friends - people that you can count on and are willing to be counted! You will find people ready to help you at a moments notice regardless of the need or when the need arises. You will live a life of contentment knowing that you have done your best to live a life worthy of the "Golden Rule" - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Hey, that may sound corny - but it's true.

CHARACTER COUNTS!

And I encourage you to live that way today even if it seems that those who live otherwise are the ones "getting ahead".

Let's get to the finish line and THEN take a look around, agreed?

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

TODAY Matters 4 Youth!

TODAY Matters 4 Youth!

How old is old? That's a question with an answer that is dependent upon who it is you are asking! I'm 50 years old right now, so to me, 70 would be considered old and yet, someone that is 70 would suggest to you that anyone OLDER than them is old!

When I was a teenager, I couldn't imagine someone being 25 years old - THAT WAS OLD!

So it is when I say that today's message is for "young people" or "youth" -- what does that mean and who does that include?

I'll try to clarify it in the following way: Anyone that has the ability to understand what I'm saying (we're talking "little one's" now!) up through those that have completed college and are in the 20's...that's who I'm talking to today.

How's that?

What do I feel that this message is so important for you? Because so many people in the world will tell you that what you do right now in your life doesn't really matter! And, from what I've seen, the younger you are the more likely it is that you will hear this said.

Bottom line: THAT JUST ISN'T TRUE! It's a LIE!

Regardless of your age - no matter how young you may be - what you do TODAY MATTERS!

Now, let me clarify something else again - I'm not trying to get you to "grow up" too fast and skip your childhood or the life of a teen. Enjoy every bit of it WHILE YOU CAN!

But what I AM saying is this: no matter how young you are you can make "life-impacting" decisions TODAY!

Since I usually direct my thoughts toward adults, let mention a couple of things to you first: 1.) I am not going to "talk down" to you - regardless of your age. You need to hear this "straight"and "to the point" and that's what I am going to do. It's what I always try to do regardless of the age of my audience. 2.) Although I emphasize the fact that TODAY is all we have and that, in reality there is no such thing as tomorrow (what do you call that 24 hour period that we refer to as "tomorrow" once it arrives? "TODAY"!) we still MUST be planning for the future. Our future is NOW. I wanted to get that out there before I continue on with this discussion. There now, let's move on!

What you do today matters because you are laying the FOUNDATION - the BUILDING BLOCKS - for your future TODAY! And, just like with any building of any size, if you have a shoddy or weak foundation, that building will not be stable and it WILL come crashing down!

Here's my main point: I encourage you - I CHALLENGE YOU - to make a decision NOW - TODAY - to live a life of character!

What do I mean? I challenge you to STEP UP and ABOVE those around you and choose to live a life of honesty and honor which, in turn, is living a life of character.

Hey, don't laugh this off - what you do TODAY matters and what you do TODAY becomes a habit for your life! Really think about that!

Don't laugh it off when I challenge you to NOT CHEAT on any tests or assignments. The sad thing is that this has become so common place that many young people would look at me like I'm crazy for saying that. Really? This is what I mean by you stepping UP and ABOVE the rest!

It's not "just" about not cheating on tests or assignments, it's about living a life of TRUTH! Dedicate yourself to a life of TRUTH and you WILL "rise above the rest"! That's a promise and guarantee!

Why is this so? Because so many of your peers WON'T and DON'T live a life of truth! And you're decision to do so will set you apart and lay a solid foundation for a powerful and positive future.

Living a life of character means that, because you life a life of TRUTH, when you speak people believe you. Think about how important that really is.

If your habit has been to lie about big things or small, how do you get anyone to believe you when you really ARE telling them the truth?

Understand this: some people may appear to be "making it" in the word by living a life of dishonesty and lies - you can see it around you each and every day - but that is a facade, a "false appearance" and you need to dedicate yourself to NOT be lured away by false appearances.

People that live this kind of life will encourage you to take the path of least resistance! Instead of dedicating and disciplining yourself to WORK at an honest job, they will try to lure you away with the "false appearance" of money and wealth.

I know that the lure is strong for some of you. But I want to CHALLENGE you to STAND UP and STAND ABOVE the rest! You CAN do it if you set your mind to it and I will do all I can to encourage you along the way.

And, you know what? There are many more people just like me out there that are waiting and willing to HELP YOU ACHIEVE this life of character!

The habits that you form TODAY will shape all of your "tomorrows". Regardless of your age!

THIS CHOICE IS NOT EASY and the life that comes from choosing to live a life of character is not always easy either!

One last thought - You may think that those that live a life based on dishonesty and lies have a lot of things that you desire such as popularity, friends, money and lots of "stuff". But I encourage you to look again and look very closely.

Those that live this kind of life really have NO true friends. Those people that you see following them and surrounding them will stab them in the back (both figuratively and literally) at their first opportunity. Those that live this kind of life can never really be at peace for they are always "watching their back" due to what I just said about those that surround them. When that "stuff" is gone - so are the so-called "friends".

Choose a life of character - regardless of your age. You attract those that are like you! Usually this is worded that you become like those you hang around and this is true. However, I want to turn it around and use it to show the power that YOU have in and with your life!

When you choose to live a life of character you will attract others that are drawn to this type of life and decision.

When can you begin this process? When you can you take the first step of this journey?

TODAY! Right now.

And, YES, YOU CAN! Never doubt that.

Contact me at any time via the information that you can find on my website (http://www.FutureYouUniversity.com) - I'd love to hear from you.

And, as you go through each day always remember to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Never Cheat Yourself or Others

Never Cheat Yourself or Others

We live in a world of "grey". You understand what I'm saying, right? Think about it and ask yourself how many times have you heard discussions like the following OR have caught yourself saying things similar to the following:

- "I really didn't LIE, I just didn't tell the whole truth!"

- "This company won't miss that package of paper. After all, I've worked here long enough to earn the right to take it home with me!"

- "Clarify what you mean when you ask if I've been unfaithful."

Sad to say, the idea of "situational ethics" has taken firm root in our world and, if we are not careful, we will fall to it's falsehood ourselves.

First of all, let's talk about the idea of "Never cheat others."

You know, if you live by the principles that we have discussed in this blog as well as my podcasts, you will never have to worry about this topic. Living by these principles will cause you to not only do what is EXPECTED of you, but it will cause you to go a step further and do MORE than is expected. Remember our recent discussion on that idea ("Do More Than You Have To")?

Do not fall into the trap of "shorting" your customers, friends, family.......ANYONE! By doing so, you are hurting your future relationship with these people in these different groups as well as hurting yourself.

"I'm not hurting myself! I'm just doing what I have to do to survive!"

Think about that. Again, there is a difference in LIVING and surviving - and, yes, you are simply surviving And, sooner or later, you will cease to do even that.

Let's consider this idea of "I'm just doing what I have to do to survive!" a little further. Have you ever seen the films about animals that get caught in a trap and actually chew their foot off so that they can escape? Extreme, right? Yet, they are doing what is necessary to survive. We've all heard the horror stories of people in a plane crash high up in the snowy country turning to the eating of the human flesh of those that didn't survive the crash. Why did they do it? They were just doing what they had to do to survive!

Extreme point? YES! But, that is an extreme attitude to have! Sooner or later, living with this type of attitude will cause you to be "eaten up" from the inside because you KNOW that this is NOT the way to truly live nor is it the way to treat your customers, friends and/or family.

In a difficult economy like the one we are still experiencing near the end of 2009, the tendency is to "cut back" and give customers a little less for the money. Might I suggest that, instead, it is the time to give MORE than your customers expect?

This is the time that will separate WINNERS from LOSERS - the choice is yours and, in my opinion, you only LOSE when you decide to cheat others.

And, again, you only cheat yourself in the process.

Now, let's turn our thoughts for a few moments to the idea of, "Never cheat yourself."

We have already discussed one way that we cheat ourselves, now let's look at another way that this can happen in our lives.

You are cheating yourself when you fail to do all within your power to better yourself. Think about it.

If you sit around and watch t.v. during all of your spare time - you are cheating yourself. Oh, I understand that there are some entertaining things on t.v. (I love sports, for example) - but, like with anything else, this should be done in moderation.

If you have decided (and, apparently you have or you wouldn't be reading this blog) to spend some time each day listening to podcasts and/or reading positive information then you have made a decision to try to improve yourself as well as your life.

HOWEVER, it is easy to "skimp" on this and to actually "lie" to yourself by not following through. How many books have you bought that you never read? How many books have you bought that you started, but never finished?

You see, we can make ourselves FEEL GOOD about buying that book, for example. We can give ourselves a false sense of accomplishment by pointing out the wonderful books in our own little library. But, it is just that - a FALSE sense of accomplishment.

We begin to CHEAT OURSELVES when we begin to make excuses for our lack of discipline and thus begin to look for ANY source that might make us feel better.

Come on, friend. Let's get REAL and let's get HONEST with ourselves so that we CAN move on toward our goal of self-improvement!

Seriously, what will you ever accomplish by cheating yourself? And, just as was true in the first part of this blog when I mentioned that you end up cheating yourself when you cheat others...the opposite is also true. When you cheat yourself, you end up cheating those around you as well.

So, bottom line - cheating yourself and/or others is a LOSE/LOSE situation!

Being honest with yourself and others is nothing but a WIN/WIN proposition!

I'll all for being a WINNER - what about you?

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike