The Old Barn and Miss Jeannine

The barn that you see in the picture above is one that I had planned to stop and take a picture of for a long time. I literally would pass by this old barn every day on my way to work and, many times, on my way back from work, depending upon which route I would take.

It actually became a running joke with my wife when we would pass by the barn - on days that I wasn't on my way to work - and I would say, "One of these days I'm going to stop and take a picture of that old barn!". The reason it became a running joke is because I said that for about a year and a half.

And then, one day I finally did it! I finally pulled over on my way to work one morning and took a couple of pictures of this old barn. I love pictures of old barns and other buildings like this and I finally did it! THEN my next plan was to take a picture of it for each of the four seasons. As you can likely tell from the picture, this one was taken this past Spring.

About a month or so I passed by and noticed what you see in the picture below. That's right, the old barn had collapsed and, shortly after, was completely removed to where you could not even tell that the barn had ever been there at all.

I'm so glad that I did finally pull over and take that picture that I had talked about for so long because, little did I know at the time, I would not have many more chances to do so before it's collapse. 

Now for Miss Jeannine. I didn't post a picture of her but she has been a dear friend to my wife and I for about the past twelve years. We first met her when we moved to a new town back in late 2005 and got to know her very well over the course of the 5+ years that we lived in that town. Even after we moved from there we stayed in touch and even got to see her from time to time even after she moved from there as well.

She spent the last year or so in a nursing home and we would stop by and see her whenever we had the chance to do so and I would even stop by when I was by myself and on my way somewhere related to my work.

The last few times we got to visit with Miss Jeannine were a bit disconcerting to us because she was starting to struggle with maintaining a good mind and, once, when I stopped to see her by myself, I spent a bit of time helping to calm her down because she didn't know where she was and who all the people were that were there. They were the other residents of the nursing home.

My wife and I saw her towards the end of this past March...about four months ago and have talked about how we NEEDED to go see Miss Jeannine again. But, for whatever reason, "things" came up and we just never got it done.

Last week I received word that she had been placed in the hospital with pneumonia and, then, the day after that they were going to be placing her in hospice. My wife and I were trying to arrange our schedule to where we could go see her and hoped that she would be able to know that we were there. We received word that they actually had placed her in hospice on Monday and we finally figured out that we would go see her on the following Friday.

On Tuesday I received word that she had passed.

There were no longer any more chances to go visit with our dear friend. Ever.

We attended her funeral this past Saturday and we both talked about how much we wished we had gotten the chance to see her "one more time".

The old barn is one example and Miss Jeannine is another but, friend, there are situations and examples like that around you each and every day.

We tend to get complacent and we tend to take things for granted but I want to encourage you to make a sincere effort to "wake up" from that complacency and to take action TODAY and EVERY DAY!

Stop putting off whatever it is that you keep saying that you need to do and just do it.
Stop saying you need to call or go visit someone and just do it.

Stop forgetting to tell someone that you love them and how much they mean to you and just do it.

Stop talking about "one of these days" and do it TODAY while you still have the chance.

If you don't you will likely regret it and if you do, you will be glad that you did.

With that in mind, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

YouTube

RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II

"RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II"

(Your "Inner Circle" of Friends)

Even though we talked about friends in our last segment, today we take another step closer in our "relationship circle" and spend a few moments talking about the relationships we have with our closest friends.

That's right, today we are going to talk about the relationships we have with those very SPECIAL people that we know are there for us at a moments notice. Perhaps they are the Tonto to your Lone Ranger or the Robin to your Batman.

Get the point?

This is the kind of friend that, just by looking at you, can know if something is wrong and they know just what to say OR to maybe even say nothing at all and just be there with you.

Now, guys (men) - sadly, for many (if not most) of us, we generally do not have these kinds of relationships. Oh, I know some of you do but, more often than not, we don't. That could be another whole series of topics to discuss, right?

WARNING: Men and/or women...I would STRONGLY suggest to you that you make sure this type of friend is someone of the same sex as you. Why? So that, if either of you are married, your relationship with your spouse is not jeopardized by this "friendship".

Stop your justification and your whining. I'm speaking truth here and I suggest you really pay attention to this IF you wish to maintain the strong relationship with your spouse.

Now, back to the point at hand - these CLOSE friends and the relationship that you have with them.

We've already discussed this point in relation to ALL of our relationships but it is also worth repeating when we talk about this level of our relationships - because this relationship is made up of HUMAN BEINGS we WILL disappoint and be disappointed from time to time.

Got it?

There's no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. There will be times that you may argue and fight and sometimes it is because that friend is being straight with us when we don't WANT to hear the truth about some situation.

However, these are the type of relationships that, even when you have had a disagreement, you realize you cannot do without. You NEED this relationship in your life. You NEED this sounding board and this voice of reason in your life and, hopefully, the same is true of them and their need for you and this relationship in their life.

Here is the KEY INGREDIENT needed in such a relationship (yeah, it's two different words but it still speaks to the same point): TRUTH and HONESTY!

In order for you to truly have the kind of relationship that allows you to share your innermost thoughts with this person, you have to TRUST them when they tell you that what you share stays with them and that they will not share it with anyone else. And, it has to be the same with what they may need to share with you.

TRUST.

This is why, many times, we fail to have really close relationships. Why? Because, due to past issues when others have destroyed trust, we find it hard to trust again.

I understand that completely.

Are YOU trustworthy? Do YOU demand something out of your friend that you are not willing to commit to? This is a two-way street, friend.

And, hey, listen... we can ALL find someone to serve as a "yes man" in our lives, right? You know, the type of person that wants to please us so much and be our friend so much that they won't really be honest with us but, instead, will agree with us regardless. This is the kind of person that will tell you that you look GREAT even if you purposely put on some hideous outfit just to see what they would say.

THIS IS NOT A TRUE FRIEND.

A true friend will be HONEST with you even when you don't want to hear the honest truth. Now, they will be kind (unless you won't listen) in the process but they understand the depth of your friendship and the demand that such depth puts on the relationship to be HONEST.

Relationships are destroyed when trust and honesty is "thrown out the window".

In other words, when a relationship if void of truth and honesty then it is not a friendship relationship.

Think about that and let it soak in.

Can you forgive and be forgiven? YES!

And, again, if this is one of "those" TRUE relationships that have been messed up by our human frailty, then you (and the other party) will realize the value of the relationship and you will both be willing and ready to work out the hurt and move on.

But, know this - when trust is destroyed it will take a VERY LONG TIME for that trust to be established once again. And, to be honest with you, sometimes it can never be reestablished.

So, be careful and cherish this friendship. Be thankful and EXPRESS THAT THANKS to such a friend and do all that you can to protect that relationship with TRUTH and HONESTY!

I am happy to say that I have ONE such relationship in my life (thanks, Fred!) and I hope you have at least one and even more than one.

Any of us that has such a friend in life is truly blessed. Again, express that thanks to that friend and be committed to be the BEST friend that YOU can be as well.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

"RELATIONSHIPS: Friends"

RELATIONSHIPS: Friends

Now it's time to take a step closer in our "relationship circle" as we begin to talk about our friends.

Even though we have taken a step in closer in this "relationship circle" we are still not talking about those friends that are closest to us. This "level" of friends are those that we spend some time and hang out with but, again, aren't the ones we'd tell our deepest secrets to.

ALL relationships can be difficult and those with our friends are no exception. Again, because our friendships are made up of people we deal with disappointments and frustrations. Sometimes this is due to what others have done and, sometimes, it is due to what WE have done in this relationship.

If you've never done this, I would ask that you draw a series of circles with the center being in the shape of a heart. (This is kind of like a bulls eye but, again, with your heart at the middle).

Now, after drawing the heart in the center, draw your first ring out from there a little bit and then, draw another ring beyond that one and so on until you have about five rings. This will help you in what we are discussing in this series.

In the area between the heart and the first ring write the names of those in your family that you are the closest to whether it be your spouse or some other family member. I understand that there may be some friends that are even closer to you than your spouse but, for this purpose, I'd like you to put your spouse there if you have one and, if not, the family member that you are closet to.

Now, in the space between that ring and the next one, write down the names of your CLOSET friend or friends. These need to be those (or, it may be only one) that, again, you would share your deepest and darkest secrets with KNOWING that they would protect that and keep it safe. These are the people that know you better than you know yourself at times.

In the space between that ring and the next one write down the names of that group of friends that you like to spend time with and hang out at the movies, ballgames, etc. True, your closest friends may be a part of this group as well but these are the people that you enjoy hanging around but you may NOT necessarily share your inner thoughts with. Write down as many as you want here - it is totally up to you.

If you want to go ahead and take this out further based on our earlier discussions and, in the next area between rings you can either write down some names OR just write the word, "coworkers". And, then, past that you can write down words such as, "waiter/waitress", "parking attendant", etc. BONUS POINTS for yourself IF you can put some names to these relationships!

This simply gives you a visual of what I have been discussing during this series and will also help you to clarify who in your life fits in these categories.

Now, for today's purposes, look at the names that you wrote down in that category of "friends" that you enjoy hanging around. Who are they? What are their names?

Do they help you with your positive mindset OR do they tend to be on the negative side? Are they a help or a hindrance in this area?

Are they people that you can trust and are they people that honor your relationship ALL of our relationships are important. ALL of our relationships not only bear OUR "relational fingerprints" but they also have an impact upon OUR lives.

Sometimes it is necessary to make changes in this area of friends IF we find that they are not helpful in keeping our minds focused on improving our lives.

Friend, it is totally up to you. No one can answer those questions about this particular area of friends for you.

Give it some thought and be the BEST that you can be in each area of these relationships!

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: An Extension of YOU

"RELATIONSHIPS: An Extension of YOU

I'd like to mention something about the picture used above and how it relates to our topic. You can see four pictures of me - the same person but, yet, each picture is different than the other.

So it is as we deal with the different relationships in our lives. WE are the same person yet, we are perceived differently with each relationship that we have in our lives. Now, let's move on to the topic for today.

All of our relationships (remember, they ALL belong to us) have US as a common denominator. We talked about that before but it is important for us to never forget that fact.

And, regardless of what TYPE of relationship we are discussing (check out person, mailman, parking attendant or best friend) we leave our "fingerprints" on each and every one.

Wow, think about that for a moment!

Sometimes we think these "outer ridge" relationships don't really matter. You know, the ones that we discussed yesterday when we talked about taking the time to acknowledge those that we do come into contact with on a semi-regular basis or a regular basis such as a parking attendant.

We can fall into the trap (and lie) that how we treat these people doesn't really matter. After all, they don't really know us anyway, right?

WRONG!

They DO know you by your actions! Who you SAY you are is not as revealing as who you SHOW you are. Now there's an ugly truth to think about.

We want to think that if these people in that "outer ridge" of our relationships think the wrong thing about us (according to who?) then it's because they don't really know the "real" us.

Oh? Perhaps they DO know the "real" you more than you care to admit.

You leave your "fingerprint" on every person that you come into contact with during each and every day. Like it or not, this is true.

Think about this as well - for most of these people this is the ONLY impression that they have of you. Now, based on that, what impression do they have of YOU?

In my opinion, more than anything else, how you treat those in this category defines who we are more than anything you want to believe or want others to believe.

It is your "fingerprint". It is your "identification" of who you really are.

If you are not satisfied with the "fingerprint" that you have been leaving behind why not make a change starting TODAY?

Unlike our own physical fingerprints we CAN actually "change" this "fingerprint" that we leave behind.

It's your move.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: We ALL Have Them!

RELATIONSHIPS:

We ALL Have Them!

Sometimes we might think we would love it if we could live a life VOID of relationships. They are so much trouble at times and they require SO MUCH maintenance!

Yes, in a moment of "overwhelment" (not sure if that is even a word!) we may wish such a thing but, and we all know this deep down, it would be a very lonely life without relationships.

Relationships: We ALL have them and, just as with anything else, some are better than others and, at times, they can be downright difficult!

We have relationships with the family that we were born into (or adopted into) - mom, dad, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc.

We have relationships that WE have chosen - spouse/partner, in laws (outlaws?), children (now, we may not have chosen THAT child, but we chose to have a child, right?), etc.

We have relationships out of necessity - boss, co-workers, etc.

We have relationships that are business related - insurance agent, banker, dentist, doctor, etc.

In ALL of these that I just mentioned there are some that we like and some we wish would disappear or change. Am I right?

RELATIONSHIPS INVOLVE PEOPLE and, hence, the struggle and difficulty!

Relationships involve IMPERFECT PEOPLE (now we're getting down to the real problem).

Relationships involve people that are NOT ALWAYS IN AGREEMENT WITH US!

Now I'm steppin' on some toes!

So, since we ALL are involved in relationships in our lives and since so many of us struggle with some of them from time to time, I thought it would be a good topic for discussion in this blog AND on my podcast (access at: http://www.michaelspillman.com/).

WHAT I NEED FROM YOU - I need your feedback and input! Please share with me struggles that you have had/are having and, if you've worked through some of them, how it was done. Share questions, comments, insights, etc. with me so we can all benefit from these experiences together.

You can either leave a comment here on the blog, drop me a note via my Facebook page OR start a discussion (or just leave a comment) on the Future You University fan page on Facebook (you can access this on the "contacts" tab on the website I mentioned above) OR you can send me a direct e-mail at the following address:

mike@futureyouuniversity.com

I hope to hear from some of you on this topic.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

Find the Treasure in People!

As we continue our "Positive Alphabet" today, we want to go on to the letter, "F" and talk about how we all need to "FIND the TREASURE in PEOPLE."

First of all, many will likely think of their family and friends with this title in mind. GREAT! They certainly apply and we need to FIND and APPRECIATE the treasure that they are! Yes, I understand that you and your family may not have the best relationship in the world -- not everyone does. BUT, if you do or even if it is just SOME of your family, then be thankful for them and really appreciate the TREASURE that it is to have them in your life!

The TREASURE to have family that loves you. Regardless. Regardless of what you do right or wrong. Regardless of the mistakes you make. Regardless of your success or your failure. Regardless.

The same is to be said of those "true friends" that stand by you - again, REGARDLESS! Those friends that are not "fair weather friends" but are there when things are good OR bad! Those friends that love you and stand by you simply because you are their friend! WHAT A TREASURE!

Let's expand our thoughts a little and consider those people that you are around every day but that don't fit the category of "family or friends" as defined above. Perhaps these are your co-workers. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah, yeah - I understand. But here is the challenge --

"Each person carries a treasure to be revealed."

Wow! When you think about that - it can be truly amazing to think about what you may discover! If we would approach each person contacted during our day with this thought in mind - what might happen?

Yes, I understand that some may require quite a bit more "digging" before we find the treasure. And, yes, some may not even look like treasure at all -- but they may be a "diamond in the rough"!

Make this a challenge and "dig". Make this a challenge and realize that each person carries this treasure within. Perhaps it lies just below the surface, waiting to be unearthed by YOU!

What about those even outside THIS circle? Waiters, waitresses, check out personnel, etc. Those folks that often get overlooked as if they don't even exist. What about those standing behind you or in front of you in a crowded line? What about those that pass you along the street?

HUMAN KINDNESS AND CONTACT can go a long way in unearthing the treasure that lies within!

THINK ABOUT IT and GET EXCITED about it as well!

Let this be a challenge and a determination in your life each and every day! Be determined to "find the treasure in people" each and every day!

Just think about how that will impact YOUR life and then think about how it will IMPACT the lives of those around you!

Wow, I get excited just thinking about it!

Do it. Dig!

And, at the same time (and this WILL happen because of it!)...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

The Importance of Self-Analysis

If you don't have the book, "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill - GET IT! If you don't want to order it (you can get it free - just pay s/h - on my site www.FutureYouUniversity.com) then go to the library and check it out OR find a free downloadable version on the internet...JUST GET IT!

This is especially important as we get to this part of the book and you are asked to answer the "self-analysis questions" found toward the end of chapter 15. THIS IS IMPORTANT!

You see, we must decide how serious we really are about this whole idea of improving our lives. You know this as well as I - there are many people that SAY they are but are not willing to put any effort into making that happen. Bottom line...they can talk and say what they want - their actions betray them!

Doesn't that just seem impossible? Yet it happens every single day. You see it in people that complain that they cannot find a job even though the newspaper in front of them may be full of job openings. If you point that out to them they may say, "Oh, but it's not what I want to do. And, besides, it's not the kind of money I need to be making." Or maybe you hear them say something like, "You expect me to work there? Doing that?"

I understand that the job available may not be the job you had envisioned at this point in your life, but did you envision you being jobless at this point in your life? Isn't SOME money better than NO money? Do you not realize that just getting out of the house and doing SOMETHING makes a HUGE impact on your attitude?

Anyway, the same thing can be said of those of us that say we want to improve our attitudes and mindset. We want to be "on board" at increasing the amount of POSITIVE thoughts in our lives and decreasing the amount of NEGATIVE thoughts at the same time.

But, we don't have time to read that article or listen to that podcast.

Oh sure, I get behind (I'm still a month behind on my Success magazine) but I continually work on making sure I am filling my mind with "good stuff" in this area!

But are you also willing to spend a day considering and answering the questions found in the pages of this classic book? Yes, I said a day!

Don't just skim through it and answer the questions without much thought. Take the time - IF you are serious about improving your life - to really consider your answers..and be honest with yourself in doing so!

For example, there are a cluster of questions that ask us to look at our friends and our relationships. Many people do not realize the impact that their friends have on their attitudes and outlook in life. Do you?

So, beyond just ANSWERING the questions we must also consider whether or not we are willing to TAKE ACTION on what we find.

That, my friend, is up to you. All along you have heard/seen me say that no one else can do this for you. I - along with others - can give you as much good, positive material and information as possible...but it is up to YOU as to what you choose to do with it (if anything).

So...if you don't have the book - GET THE BOOK (this is a good indicator of how serious you really are) and go through the self-analysis questions and see what you find out about yourself.

As always, I welcome any and all comments! Feel free to email me at: mike@futureyouuniversity.com

And, until tomorrow...

"Make it an AWESOME Day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Time With a Friend - (continued)

Ahhhh...I had a good lunch and now I'm ready to continue on with the details of our trip. Oh, the picture above? That's our bikes on top of PetitJean Mountain (our first stop) and I just thought it was a really cool looking picture - wouldn't you agree? And, oh, I'll talk more about this toward the end - but mine is the pretty blue one on the left!

O.k....back to the story as we begin to ascend Mount Magazine, the highest point in Arkansas. Let me interrupt here just for a moment to explain something that comes into play in this story - I AM DEATHLY AFRAID OF SNAKES!!! I forgot to mention that, on our way up to Rich Mountain on Thursday, there was a big black snake sunning in the opposite lane - and he took up the whole lane! I'm just glad I wasn't coming back down at that particular moment in time - I think my bike may have been without a rider! Why do I bring that up? On the way up to Magazine Mountain we passed by a HUGE rattle snake that had been hit by a car - thankfully in the other lane. I'm not sure how long he would be stretched out, but he was as big around as my forearm - and I have a pretty good-sized forearm! Again, I'm not sure what I would have done if we had been coming down at that time - but it would not have been fun or pretty!

May I take a moment and make a public safety announcement? Thank you. Please, when you are driving, pay attention to signs such as STOP signs. And when you see one - STOP! As we neared the top of this mountain and came to one intersection I slowed down to read the directional signs to make sure we were headed toward the lodge. It was a good thing I did as a car driven by a young girl (teenager) blew right through the sign - she didn't even slow down and I don't think she even saw the sign. Honestly, if I had not slowed down to read the signs, I might not be here typing this right now. So, people, when you drive - PAY ATTENTION!!
Thank you. I feel better now. ;)

As we neared the top where the lodge was located we found a spot with an incredible view and pulled over to take a look and take some more pictures. When we first got to that point there was no one there but us and I was disappointed that we may not be able to get anyone to take our picture together, but, while we were there a family of four pulled up and agreed to take our picture. While doing so the mother asked, "Hey, who's is the pretty blue bike?" You see, this is a running joke with Fred and me. His bike is a Harley - and you know how "Harley people" are about their bikes, right? It's like they think there is not any other kind of bike in the whole wide world and they do seem to price them like they believe they are the only bikes available in the whole wide world! ;) Anyway, my bike always gets compliments on it's paint job and I always am sure to "rub it in" to Fred when that happens. As a matter of fact, on Thursday as we were getting back on our bikes after lunch at Petit Jean a family was getting out of their vehicle and preparing to go on a hike. As I was getting on my bike the mom said to her daughter - "Now we know who belongs to that pretty blue bike!" I looked at Fred and winked as the little girl said, "I took a picture of it!" So, you see...I had a lot of chances to rub this in to my ol' pal, Fred!

Anyway, after taking this families picture and talking to them (yes, talking about that big rattle snake in the road) I offered to take their picture for them as well - which they appreciated. Again, it's always fun to meet and have a talk with people from different places - what a joy! As Fred and I were preparing to get back on our motorcycles this family who had already gotten in their vehicle and began to drive away stopped and the dad asked, "Can we get a picture of you guys for our camera?" Of course we agreed and I just thought how cool it was that these people wanted to include us in their "book of memories" from this trip.

Fred and I enjoyed a nice lunch in the restaurant of the lodge at the top of Mount Magazine but were a little disappointed that the atmosphere was not one that really was conducive to us "cutting up" as we usually do with the waiters and waitresses while we enjoy our meal. Oh, we were nice and friendly - but it was just different. Remember me telling you that Fred and I both like to drink a lot of liquid while we eat? This was really evident at the end of our meal. I looked over at the table next to us where 4 ladies had been sitting and enjoying lunch and noticed that there was only 1 glass on the table for each of them. You see, the waitress would just leave your glass on the table and bring another one full of your beverage when you needed more. So, it was obvious that each of these ladies had only one glass of tea, cola, etc. and some of them weren't even empty. Then I looked at our table at the end of our meal. There were 6 glasses in front of me and 6 glasses in front of Fred. Oops! (Diet Cola and Lemonade by the way - JUST IN CASE you are getting wrong thoughts!)

We loaded up and headed out with our next stop being Rogers, Arkansas. Again, not taking the main roads (such as I-40) but enjoying the back roads - like the Pig Trail Scenic Byway. I had never ridden this before and, though I had heard of it, didn't realize that this was part of the route I had mapped out. We accessed this beautiful highway by heading north on Hwy. 23 from Ozark - where most people would get on I-40. I cannot describe to you how beautiful this drive was...and how CROOKED this road was! In Arkansas you will see a lot of signs that read, "Crooked and Steep next ____ miles". When you see this sign for this road - they mean it! Some of the turns in the curves were literally like doing a u-turn in the middle of a highway, but it was absolutely worth it. I told Fred that I thought this was some of the most beautiful stretch of highway that I had ever traveled. Parts of this highway were completely engulfed in trees giving it a "tunnel" effect. Of course, the shade felt WONDERFUL on a very warm day - but the beauty was beyond description. I was looking for somewhere to pull over so I could get a picture, but was unable to do so. If you get the chance to drive this route (and aren't afraid of major "10 miles per hour" curves) do so - you'll be glad you did. I really think I may want to drive this one again in the fall when the leaves are changing.

Long story longer...we arrived in Rogers around 5-5:30 p.m. and were beat from the heat of the day. We found a very reasonably priced hotel (made sure they had a pool), checked in and parked the bikes. We were a little uneasy when 4 doors opened and looked our bikes over when we pulled up to park. Bad part was, our room was on the 2nd floor - too far away from our bikes for our own taste.

Now, again, Fred and I have a great time giving each other a hard time and I do so every chance I get. He was asking the clerk at the hotel for a good place to eat (How do you answer that? Doesn't that depend on what you want to eat, Fred??) when I physically took his body, turned him toward the door and pointed to a sign in the parking lot next door - "Braums" and I said, "Fred, we're eating there - right next door!" He agreed as neither of us wanted to get back on the bikes anymore for the day. We also noticed that gas across the street was priced at $2.11 - the cheapest we had seen yet - but were too tired to even go across the street on the bikes and decided to wait until the next morning. We did. And it had gone up to $2.21 overnight. Oh well!
As we walked into Braums Fred said, "Wow! They have regular food here?!" (Braums is known a lot for it's ice cream and Fred thought that was all they served). I said, "Fred, did you really think I was going to make a whole meal on ice cream?"

The servers were too busy to really have the chance to enjoy our humor - but there was an older man standing to the side waiting for his food that got quite a chuckle when Fred ordered a shake and the young lady behind the counter asked, "Sir, would that be a medium shake?" To which Fred replied, "Ha! M'am...do I LOOK like a medium shake???? Make it a large!"

Without going into every detail on the rest of the trip (there are a few things I really want to be sure I cover) I just have to mention the pool at the hotel which we headed for after supper. It had been hot that day. We were road weary. All I wanted to do was jump in that pool - and I did exactly that. Let me ask you a question - have you ever seen the movie "Vacation" (the first one) with Chevy Chase? Do you remember the scene when he jumps in the pool with Christy Brinkley? Well, that was pretty much me. I jumped in and got out very quickly as I discovered this water was C-O-L-D!!!!! As we were talking to the hotel clerk a few minutes later when he came out for a smoke I said something about it and told him that I was surprised he didn't hear me when I came up out of the water. With a grin on his face he said, "Oh, I heard you - and enjoyed every minute of it!" Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As we retired to our room a little later I kept worrying about our bikes and would go out on our balcony and look down to make sure they were not being bothered. The room right below us had some guys from part of some sort of work crew that were living it up for the night and were likely drunk by 8 p.m. Oh boy. We both finally gave up on checking again and again and turned in for the night only to be awoken at 4:30 a.m. by a knock on the door by two policemen. Well, one was a woman - which I'll get to in a moment. Fred answered the door (after looking through the curtain to see who it was) and, since they were police immediately said, "Are our bikes alright???" Now Fred wears gym shorts to bed and I was just in my boxer briefs as I stumbled to the door, past Fred onto the balcony to check on the bikes. Uh.....female...policewoman. Oops!
Anyway, apparently they were checking different rooms looking for someone besides us and we were able to go back to bed.

This next part is, without a doubt the HIGHLIGHT of the entire trip. Well, just the fact that we had breakfast at a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop was pretty cool - but it wasn't THE highlight. Fred wasn't able to finish the doughnuts he had ordered and took the remaining 4 or 5 over to a young family with 4 year old triplet boys to see if they would like to have them. They graciously accepted as one of the boys immediately grabbed one and shoved it into his mouth before mom and dad could answer! As Fred and I were preparing to hop on the bikes to head to the knife show, the family came out to see our bikes and Fred very kindly took each boy and sat them on his bike and allowed them to crank the throttle so they could hear it roar. This was priceless and a memory I will never forget. Of course they wanted to know first who owned the pretty blue one! (Yeah, Fred - that would be me.)

After this wonderful memory we located the knife show and spent about 1.5 hours there. Now, I like knives but Fred literally slobbers and drools over them so I allowed him the pleasure while I found a chair to sit in and relax. You see, within about 20 minutes I had seen all I needed to see, but not Fred! He was like a kid in a candy store - and I loved watching him interact with the vendors while there.

We then started the last leg of our journey back to my house under cloudy skies - which was nice in comparison to the glaring sun we dealt with the day before. We drove through very light rain most of the journey and stopped in Harrison, AR. for lunch and enjoyed another wonderful young lady that served us (yes, again, young enough to be our daughter) as we laughed and teased with her and we were all smiling as we spent our time there.

After getting into a little harder rain only about 15 miles from home we finally arrived back at my house at around 5:00 p.m. and after have covered right at 650 miles in the beautiful state that I call home. What a great time with a great friend!

One last note about the journey - Sunday afternoon after we all attended worship, my wife and I escorted Fred back up to Thayer, MO. to send him on the rest of his way and for us to head back. However, along the way we stopped in a little town called Salem for a short stretch only to have the 2 guys behind the counter ask, "Wow! Who's bike is that blue one? It's awesome!" (That's right Fred, I had to mention this one last comment before I finish!).

Hey, I have pictures posted of this whole trip on my Facebook page if you'd like to see them. You can request me to add you as a friend - but if you would, put a note with it letting me know you are doing so through the blog or Future You University. Thanks!

I hope you enjoyed reading all of this - I know it was a lot, but there was so much that we enjoyed on these wonderful 3 days toward the end of July in the year 2009.

Hey, as always, "Make it an AWESOME Day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Taking Time With a Friend

No, I have not abandoned my blog! ;)

I spent last Thursday - Saturday with my good friend, Fred (hey, ain't we handsome in that picture up there?) on our motorcycles as we hit some of the "high points" in Arkansas. I want to encourage each of you to try to find time to just "get away" - even if it's just for a few hours.

We began by leaving around 9 a.m. on Thursday and riding our bikes down to Petit Jean Mountain (near Morrilton, AR.). This is where the picture above was taken. As you can see, there were very beautiful views all around and we enjoyed taking in the views as well as having lunch at the Mathers Lodge restaurant. We really enjoyed laughing and teasing with the young lady (and I do mean young - these kids in the restaurants were usually young enough to be our own kids!) who took us to our seat as well as our waitress. Her name was Hope! (How appropriate since I always try to include my quote, "As long as there is breath, there is hope!" in my podcast each day. Hey, isn't it fun to bring a smile and a laugh to people? Try it - you'll like it!

We had lunch around noon and didn't leave until around 2 p.m. and then headed further south toward Mena, AR. Just outside of Mena is the second highest point in Arkansas - Rich Mountain - home of Queen Wilhelmina State Park. We enjoyed taking in the beautiful views once again, talking to other people that were doing the same and sharing this experience with each other.

By the time this was done, it was around 5 p.m. and we were tired and ready to find a hotel, a restaurant with a good steak and then a nice, relaxing pool! And, hey, we accomplished all three! Again, we had such a great time laughing with people that we met along the way. We had to make a stop at the Wal-Mart store in Mena and enjoyed laughing and joking with some of the clerks while there. (Interestingly, it just seemed people were drawn to us during this trip. I DO believe that when you set out with a positive mindset that people WILL be drawn to you!).

One of the clerks suggested a steak house in town and Fred and I were pleased to see that the parking lot was full - hopefully a sign of a good restaurant! Immediately we "hit it off" with the young lady (again, young enough to be our daughter - so we were "harmless" old dudes) that took us to our seats and enjoyed laughing with her as she sat us down and visited with us briefly. The young man (Michael - what a great name!) that was our waiter came to our table and, in a very monotone voice, greeted us. Of course Fred and I greeted him very enthusiastically and asked him how he was doing. I don't remember his exact answer, but it was something along the lines of, "It's been an absolutely great day." But, his voice didn't indicate so. I asked him, "Are you sure? Do you mean that or are you just saying that as a "canned greeting" that you give to everyone?" He looked at me with a grin on his face and said something like, "Well, with you guys, it's really a great day now!"

We found out from the hostess that he went back to her and thanked her for giving him "two awesome dudes" at his table. Again, it is such fun to interact with people and bring a smile to their face - and it brought a smile to ours as well!

Now, Fred and I are a lot alike in many ways. One of which is that we drink a lot of liquid when we eat which means that the waiter or waitress can spend a lot of time just refilling our glasses. While the waiter was refilling our glasses for the 2nd time in about 6 or 7 minutes Fred asked him if there was anyway that he could bring us a pitcher if it would not get him in trouble. The young man smiled and said he would check as he took our glasses from the table. In a few moments he returned but he didn't bring any glasses. Instead, he had a pitcher of drink for each of us with a straw in each pitcher! This was one of the funniest things I have ever seen and he had a huge grin on his face as he brought it to us. Of course, all others around us were noticing this and getting quite a kick out of it as well!

Well, long story short - the interaction with the crew was wonderful and the steak was as well. What a great time we had at The Chopping Block in Mena, Arkansas.

Once we finished supper, it was back to the hotel and time to hit the pool. Ahhhhhhhhhhh...how relaxing after a long day on the bikes and time to just kick back, relax and visit. One thing I really like about Fred is that I can truly be "myself" when I'm around him. I don't have to "pretend" or wonder about what I can or cannot say - I can simply be "me". We sat in the pool and talked for about 2 hours about all kinds of things. It was a very good experience for the both of us as we added even more value to the friendship that we shared.

Wow, all of that just in day 1!

Day 2 (Friday) started out again with us leaving Mena, AR. at around 9 a.m. Right away we could tell that the temperature was a bit warmer than the day before and we began to feel the sun right away. Our plans for this leg of the journey was to travel to Mount Magazine - the highest point in Arkansas - and then on up to Rogers, Arkansas for a knife show that was taking place there.

Now, anyone that likes to ride motorcycles knows that most of us like to take the back roads and stay off of the four-lane/interstate types of roads. You see a lot of beautiful scenery and get to travel thorough some neat little towns as well. The downside of that is the fact that you also travel with a lot less accessibility to things such as gas stations. No, I didn't run out of gas - but I still, to this day, don't know how I didn't! I do remember driving past one station and thinking, "I wonder if I should stop for gas?" However, I knew there were several more towns within the range of my gas gauge and moved on ahead. We passed through two little towns with no gas stations and I was beginning to sweat as we approached the third. About 7 miles out from this third town my gas gauge begin to "blink" at me which meant that I had less than a gallon of gas in the tank. As we neared the next little town I was sure hoping - and yeah, even praying - that there was a gas station located there. As we rounded the curve that would take us through the main part of town my heart sank as I saw that the town consisted of about 3 buildings - none of which offered gasoline. Uh-oh!

Fred had no idea of my situation so I pulled over and told him I was in serious trouble as far as gas. There was a young lady (she looked to be around 12) sitting on a porch of a house within speaking distance of us and we asked her how far it was to the next gas station. My heart sank as she replied, "Oh, about 30 minutes." I looked at Fred and said, "There is no way in the world I'm squeezing 30 more minutes out of this tank!" Although she didn't laugh out loud, the young girl did have a big grin on her face as she watched us try to figure out what we were going to do. So, we did the only thing we could do - we got on our bikes and rode.

Within about 2 miles of leaving this last little town was a sign that told us that we still had 17 miles to go before we reached the gas station. Again, my heart sank as I thought, "There is no way I'll make it." You know, when your mind is already expecting something negative to happen then you begin to think it IS happening. Several times I thought, "Yeah, I feel the engine starting to sputter - this is it!" only to realize it was my imagination and I was able to continue on a few more miles. About 6 miles out (which was closer than I thought I'd get) we came upon some road work taking place that required us to stop due to the work. This was NOT what I needed at this time! We were the only 2 vehicles on our side and we pulled right up to the flagger and I said, "Oh man, this ain't good! I'm riding on fumes!" He smiled and said, "Well, if it were up to me, I'd let you on through, but you have to wait for the 'pilot car' to take you through." He then got on his radio and asked them to hurry up because we were about out of gas.

Alas we made it past the construction and continued on to the little town of Parks, AR. Sweating it out mile after mile wondering which one would be my last before I had to pull over somewhere. Unbelievably, I DID make it to the little town of Parks and nearly collapsed as I pulled into the little country store lot with two tanks out front. Whew! After filling my tank I discovered that I had 1/10 of a gallon left - I wasn't going much further! Thank you , Lord!

We traveled on until we begin to ascend Mount Magazine. This is around Paris, AR (yes, Paris - we also passed through a little community called "Egypt" and also noticed that "London" was not too far away! Wow, we traveled further than I thought! ;p ) in case you ever have the chance to visit this beautiful area. I realize that I am getting long-winded in this story - but there was so much to share.

So, here's what I will do - I need to stop for my lunch break and then I will continue on with the story in a second part when I return.

Hey, until that time - if you've read all of this - ENJOY TODAY! Laugh and share your laughter with others - what a great way to spend time with other people.

And, until I get back - "Make it an AWESOME Day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

The FEAR of LOSING LOVE

Wow, this is a big one, isn't it?

Have you ever been hurt by anyone that you thought loved you? (Although I don't discuss this in the podcast for Thursday - yeah, I'm trying to get a little AHEAD now! - this can even be connected with a parent.)

For many people, this hurt can create in them such a fear of losing love again (and also experiencing that hurt again) that they simply choose to pull back and not offer love to anyone at anytime.

Where are you in all of this? You know, the fact is that, when you care - when you open yourself up to others by caring - you open yourself up to disappointment and hurt. It's true! It's just a fact of life! But will you allow that potential disappointment and hurt keep you from experiencing all the joy and happiness that love can bring?

So much of this "fear of the loss of love" comes back to some sort of a low self-esteem. This low self-esteem can be connected to the "fear of poverty" that we discussed earlier as well as the "fear of criticism". What do I mean? Let me explain.

For some, the "fear of poverty" or feeling like they don't "have enough" or that they can't "offer enough" to someone takes control over the actual relationship between two people. They begin to fear that if they cannot provide all the "finer" things in life that the object of their love may lose interest and leave. Does that happen sometimes? Sure it does! But, in my opinion, you are better off knowing that now than going on in a relationship with someone that puts material things at the top of the list. This "fear" of "not enough" then plays havoc on their self-esteem because then - especially if they have "lost love" due to this - they begin to equate this idea of "not enough" to themselves. In other words, they begin to feel that THEY, themselves, are "not enough" or not GOOD ENOUGH. It can also manifest itself (this fear of poverty) by a person trying to impress the object of their love by spending more money than they can actually afford to spend. To spend beyond their means - to try to live a life that is not really their life. Why? In order to impress so that they do not lose. (Hey friend - that will never work!).

This "fear of poverty" also goes hand in hand with the "fear of criticism" as it relates to the "fear of losing love". How so? Many times the person who is afraid of losing love, is also afraid of the criticism that may come their way because - again - they are not good enough (don't have enough, spend enough, give enough). The object of their love may actually criticize them for this - "If you loved me, you'd buy me this!" or "I'm not sure you're really going to be able to give me what I want!" or even, "HER boyfriend (husband) takes her to ALL of the best places - I wish you were more like that!" And, again, this fear of criticism then may cause a person to try to live a life that is not really their life. Again, this will never work and it is no way to truly live!

As the song goes, "LOVE HURTS!" And, hey, getting your heart broken is no fun at all! But -here's the kicker - this "fear of losing love" can actually manifest itself by this actually happening! This is called "the Law of Attraction" -- what you give your energy and focus to will be attracted into your life.

So, for example, a person can be so preoccupied with "losing love" that they begin to act in such a way that causes the other person to want to RUN away! "You're not the same person you were when I met you!" is often said in this situation. And, you know what? They're right!

This very thought/idea can be seen in these SYMPTOMS of the FEAR of LOSING LOVE:

1. JEALOUSLY - the habit of being suspicious of friends and loved ones without any reasonable evidence of sufficient grounds. The habit of accusing wife or husband of infidelity without grounds. General suspicion of everyone, absolute faith in no one.
Wow - think about that! Suspicious of everyone - trusting no one! What a horrible way to live! But, you know what? I used to live that way! I used to be so jealous when my wife and I dated and first got married. Here's what I discovered to be true about me in that situation - it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me! I knew how guys "operated" because I was a guy! And, too, I knew what a "dog" I had been and I knew all the "tricks" so to speak. So, instead of trusting her and our love - I didn't trust anyone - INCLUDING her! Let me tell you friend, that was a miserable way to live! Anytime you live life being suspicious of everyone and trusting no one - YOU ARE NOT LIVING LIFE!

2. FAULT FINDING - I mention on Thursday's podcast that I'm not sure what Mr. Hill had in mind on this one but, as I look at it I see that low self-esteem creeping in again on this one. One may fear losing love so much that they feel the only way to try to make themselves look better in the eyes of the object of their love is to find fault in EVERYONE else (and to be sure to point those out, too!). The sad truth is - this fault finding usually finds it's way to the object of their love. What do you think happens then?

3. GAMBLING - Remember, this is the 1937 version of this book and I think we can safely say that this symptom can go beyond just gambling. The idea expressed in this point in the book is again the manifestation of the "fear of poverty" and the need to do anything, everything possible to try to bring in some extra cash in order to impress the object of one's love. The sad truth is - many times it does anything BUT impress.

THERE IS A TRAP! Be aware of the trap that the marketplace will lay for you in this very area! Pay attention to what advertisements are really saying to you and your love. Notice how just about everything comes back to the idea that if you don't buy this or that (car, house, ring and yes, even a certain kind of lawn mower) then you are a failure and an object of ridicule. Really notice this and you may be appalled at what you see. DON'T FALL FOR IT! And, again, think about this - do you REALLY want to spend time with someone that is more interested in the "stuff" that you can provide than the relationship itself? I think not.

One other note - this does not have to even be tied into "romantic love" does it? I've seen roommates go through this same type of scenario because they did not want to lose the "love" of that friendship, etc. I've seen roommates get extremely jealous, for example, when their roommate found a new boyfriend/girlfriend and started spending more time with their new love than with the roommate. Friends go through this type of thing more often than we might think!

BOTTOM LINE:
Remember that FEAR paralyzes! FEAR keeps you from living life to the full or to the max. This is true in all areas of our life.

Whatever your situation - regardless of how many times you have been "rejected" (in your own mind) or have "lost" at the "game of love" - DO NOT GIVE IN TO THIS FEAR!

Once again, it's all about controlling your mind and the thoughts that you allow in. Self-talk in these situations can literally stop you dead in your tracks. Stating and believing that you are worthless or not capable of love will actually make that a reality in your life in that it will cause you to act in such a way that will not attract others to the real you!

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER by way of friendship and, yes, even in love. Again, it's your choice - either retreat at the first sign of resistance, trouble, roadblock or even perceived failure OR pick up, learn and move on positively into your future.

I'm here to help in you need it - but YOU have the ability to do this yourself. Yes, that's right - it's within YOU and YOU CAN DO IT!

It's all tied in together my friend! Even in how you approach your day. Always remember to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"Love Yourself - part 2"

It's another "Magical Monday" ("As long as there is breath - there is hope!") and I hope that you have had a wonderful weekend!

I mentioned on my podcast how much fun I had this past weekend riding my motorcycle up to see my good friend, Fred up in Missouri. It was one of those things that I had talked about many times ("I need to go up and see Fred....one of these days I need to ....") but, for one reason or another wasn't doing. The thing is, there was no REAL reason that has kept me from doing so - can you relate? So, anyway, I climbed on my bike and headed out about 10 a.m. Friday morning and arrived around 3:00 p.m. I took a short break and then the two of us climbed on our bikes at about 3:30 p.m. and rode until about 6:50 pm. to have supper together. I have to admit, my rear end was getting a little sore at this point! After supper, we had about another 35 miles to go to bet back to his house and then sat up until about midnight talking about old times and our friendship. Fred had to be "on the clock" at 7:00 a.m. so I got up and talked to him for a few minutes Saturday morning and then hopped back on my bike around 8:00 a.m. and headed back home and arrived there around 1:00 p.m.
It was a hard ride due to the wind...but I am SO glad that I did it and got to spend such a great time with my friend.

And, also, this coming Saturday I will once again get with some of my old classmates from High School and have lunch with them. Awesome!

So - what about you? What is something that YOU can do to "treat yourself" to a smile and a hearty laugh?

You see, even this applies to today's podcast topic that is continued from last Thursday - "Love Yourself." So many times - for whatever reason - we tell ourselves that we don't "deserve" this or that. Yes, even good relationships with good friends!

Perhaps someone has told you that - even in your childhood - and it is something that you need to overcome. But START TODAY learning to love yourself.

WHY NOT YOU?

Yes, you DO deserve happiness! Yes, you DO deserve the best life has to offer. Remember, you were BORN someone special! You are UNIQUE! "God doesn't make junk!"

In today's podcast I also share something that John Di Lemme says about this topic. He declares that you were BORN a CHAMPION! Your birth certificate is evidence of that fact! He declares that CHAMPIONS ARE BORN and LOSERS ARE MADE. I also told you I would include a link to his website, so here it is: http://john-dilemme.com/

Enjoy the podcast - explore who you are and learn to LOVE YOURSELF!

I'd love to hear any feedback that you may have - either here on the blog or by emailing me at: mike@futureyouuniversity.com

Make it an AWESOME Day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)

Mike Spillman