2 of 6: "APPRECIATE PEOPLE"

Unless you have found a way to become a complete hermit, you WILL come into contact with people from time to time and, usually, on a fairly regular basis. And, that being said, it's not always easy to appreciate some of those people, is it?

Some people know how to "push those buttons" that make it hard to appreciate them and to keep a positive mindset BUT we must understand something very clearly. Although those people may be able to "push our buttons" but they do NOT have the power to "make us mad" or "put me in a bad mood". They do NOT have the ability to do that...WE have the power over our mindset and our emotions and we are the ONLY ones that determine what happens in such situations. 

Remember the "formula" that I shared with you that I picked up from Jack Canfield? Here it is again: E + R = O, which stands for EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME. We all have those "events" in our life, but it is our RESPONSE to those events that will determine what happens on the other side of that event...or what we would call the outcome. 

This is one reason that it is so important to infuse as much positive information into our mind as possible. Again, the more that is there, the easier it is to access that information when those tough situations come along. 

Make a determination TODAY - right now - that YOU will be in control of these situations and that YOU will use YOUR positive attitude and mindset to help direct the path of these situations. Use YOUR influence to battle the negativity and to help "turn things around" instead of letting those with their negative attitudes freely spew their "poison" all over you and those around you.

This does not mean that there has to be any type of confrontation. It simply means that, with your words and actions, you have the ability to deflate and defeat the impact of negative thoughts and emotions. YES, IT IS THAT POWERFUL!

Now, let's look at another way in which we can appreciate people. 

EVERYONE loves to be appreciated! EVERYONE loves it when others notice the work that they do and when someone takes the time to share a word of thanks and encouragement.

I want to encourage you to "open your eyes" to those around you and make an effort to do just that - to simply let them know that you appreciate what they do. 

Many of these people have become "invisible" in our lives. We have just grown accustomed to them "being there" and doing their job without us really even noticing them or what it is that they are doing. And, many times, these people go unnoticed by others as well.

But you, friend, can make a difference!

I remember hearing Colin Powell, former United States Secretary of State, say that he would always be sure to spend a little time talking to the parking lot attendants as he came and left the parking garage. He had noticed how most people just handed their ticket to the attendant without saying a word and then went on their way as quickly as possible. Mr. Powell, however, would make eye contact with them and have a brief conversation with them whenever possible.

Do you think those people appreciated someone actually SEEING them? You KNOW that they did!

Here's another challenge, friend. See how may people you can notice that you have tended NOT to notice in the past. Make an effort to take a moment and say "hello" to them, ask them how they are doing and even that you appreciate what they do. Compliment them. Wish them well and see what happens.

You just never know how YOUR comments may turn their day around for the better. And, you just never know how YOUR positive comments may "ripple" off from that person on to someone else.

Don't ever doubt that a POSITIVE mindset is very POWERFUL. 

Have some fun along the way and make a positive impact on your world as you do so.

And, as always, wherever you go and whatever you do, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

Celebrate People!

What if everyone was just like you?

 

Oh, for some, at first thought they would say, "That's the way it SHOULD be! If everyone were like me then the world would be a better place!"

 

Then, after the laughter of everyone around them began to die down they would likely come to their senses and realize how boring our world would be if that were to happen.

 

The differences in people is what makes life interesting!

 

Think about how wonderful these differences really are: the way people dress; the way people talk (both accents and completely different languages); the naturally different colors of people's hair; the UNnatural different colors of people's hair; the different ways that people express happiness and joy as well as sorrow and all of the other emotions and on and on we could go.

 

What things would YOU add to the list that you appreciate about the way people are different?

 

Now, let me be upfront and honest here for a moment. I, personally, am not talking about celebrating people that are VULGAR in the way that they talk and even dress, specifically in public. Vulgarity is a CHOICE as well as someone that goes into a public store (uh, like Wal-Mart!) with half of everything that should be "hidden" hanging out all over the place. Dressing inappropriately is a choice as well.  I hope that makes sense and doesn't seem contradictory.

 

Let me give you a few examples that have caught my attention within the last couple of weeks and even over the past few years.

 

Just the other day I walked into Wal-Mart and the first thing that caught my eye was a gentleman (probably in his 60's) wearing a dingy "white" t-shirt, BRIGHT yellow shorts  (down to his knees), suspenders and big ol' boots with the tips of his white socks showing out of the top. My first reaction? Honestly? I GOT A BIG OL' GRIN ON MY FACE and thought, "Now, that's just awesome!"

 

Really, I did. He had, what I assume was his grandson with him, and the two of them were having an enjoyable time at Wal-Mart. The little boy had a big smile on his face the whole time. Now then, would I wear that to Wal-Mart? Uh, I WANT to say that I wouldn't but, at the same time, with my grandkids, there is no limit to what I may do to put a smile on their face (before they get to the age that they get embarrassed too easily).

 

Another situation was when I was at the Dani Johnson event in San Antonio and I was parking my car in a paid parking lot to walk to the event location. I had parked there the day before (on a Sunday) and had paid $7 for all day up until 7:00 p.m. This was a Monday and I was pleasantly surprised to see that the cost was only $5 for parking!

 

As I pulled in and prepared to pay the little old lady that was there with a man that I assumed to be her husband, she asked me if I would be back by 6:00 p.m. I told her "no" because I knew the event was scheduled to go until that time. She informed me that I would need to pay $10 then because the ticket was only good until 6:00 p.m.

 

Now, you can go back and read the last article and listen to the last podcast to see that sometimes I have a problem being impatient with situations such as this. I wish I could tell you that I was pleasant when she told me that but, I really wasn't. I wasn't "nasty" but I snipped, "well, I'll just make sure that I'll be back by 6:00. That's ridiculous! It was good until 7:00 yesterday!" To which the lady told me that was because it was the weekend.

 

Her husband began talking to her in Spanish and, even thought I didn't understand what he said, I'm sure it was something about me and the way I was behaving. As I put my window up and preceded to park I thought, "Mike, what in the world are you doing? Why are you behaving this way? That's NOT how you should treat people and that is NOT how you need to begin this day or theirs!" So, when I got out of my car I asked them what I needed to do to make sure I was not going to get towed after 6:00 and I got the ticket that I needed and put in on the dashboard of my car.

 

As I got to this couple on my way out of the lot I stopped and began to talk to them. I said something expressing my hope that they did not have to sit out in the sun all day long and, immediately, big smiles can upon both of their faces! They assured me that they could go inside the little shack on the lot that had an air conditioner. I asked them how long they had been doing this work and they told me that they had been doing this for 45 years! He then excitedly started asking me to guess his wife's age (I'm terrible with that and wouldn't touch that with a 10-ft. pole anyway!) and told me she was in her mid-70's as was he. I talked to them for a couple of more minutes and the three of us parted with smiles on our faces and happy hearts.

 

What a difference from where I allowed it to begin just a few short minutes before.

 

CELEBRATE PEOPLE!

 

One last example and then I'll let you absorb and allow this to "simmer" in the "pot" of your mind...

 

A few years ago my wife and I were out on my motorcycle on the way to some event when we stopped at a gas station to refuel and to stretch a little. When I walked in I noticed a "biker" with a long pony-tail and patches all over his vest. I saw his wife as well and didn't even glance at her because I knew that, with some bikers - the "hard core" kind - that act, alone, could get you into some serious trouble.

 

As luck would have it, I ended up right behind him in line to check out. I wasn't going to look at him or attempt to speak to him when he turned around (after completing his transaction) and asked me how I was doing. Stunned, I stammered, "I'm fine and you?". His answer? "I'M BLESSED, THANK YOU."

 

It was if my eyes were opened and I noticed that all of the patches on his vest were "religious" patches and that he actually had a very kind face.

 

Wow, Mike, you blew that one BIG TIME!

 

I had judged this man on how he looked and the fact that he rode a motorcycle (uh, I was on one, too). What a lesson I RE-learned that day.

 

CELEBRATE PEOPLE!

 

When you find that your first reaction is to condemn, criticize and judge, TAKE ANOTHER LOOK and see if you can't SMILE and be thankful that we are not all the same.

 

Think about those in your life that are close to you (family and friends) and smile as you think about how different each one is and what differences make them so special in your life.

 

THANK YOU, GOD, FOR MAKING EACH ONE OF US AS DIFFERENT AS EACH SNOWFLAKE IS FROM ANOTHER!

 

Enjoy your day and, as you do so, be sure to....

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

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Let It Go

It's hard to let go of things to which we have grown accustomed.

 

Think about it and you will realize that you can easily apply this to many things. Let me go ahead and mention a few - you may want to make a list of all of the ones that you come up with and see if there is a need to rid your life of any of these.

 

Bad habits are hard to rid our lives of due to the fact that we have grown accustomed to them. This goes back to last week's podcast/blog that talked about things that we allow will continue in our lives.

 

Bad habits, such as poor eating habits, not exercising, having a negative attitude, listening to and participating in gossip, not giving it our all at the workplace, not giving it our all in our relationships, a lack of self-discipline - these are but a few of some bad habits that can make a "nest" in our lives.

 

And they will stay there as long as we allow them to do so.

 

You have likely seen this quote before: "The best way to break a habit is to drop it."

 

Easier said than done? ABSOLUTELY! But that does NOT mean that it's something we should avoid.

 

Hey, listen, I understand that it's hard to rid our lives of those "comfort foods" if one is wanting to lose weight but, at the same time, it is an absolute NECESSITY to just let them go - rid your life of them - IF you want to have any success at all in losing weight.

 

We often try to hang on to these things (whatever they may be in your life) while trying to figure out how to still allow them in our lives and still have progression or improvement of our lives.

 

But sometimes, you just have to let it go and walk away.

 

And, yes friend, sometimes that includes people.

 

This is likely the HARDEST situation to deal with and the HARDEST from which to walk away and let go. But sometimes it is necessary.

 

I'm not talking about a hasty decision and I'm not taking this lightly or talking about giving yourself an easy "out" so that you can allow inappropriate actions into your life.

 

There is so much I could say here that would apply. I do want to encourage you to listen to the podcast with this (see links below) and I may even continue this further in the next article and podcast.

 

Do the work in spending time diligently taking inventory of your life. What (or who) are you allowing in your life that you need to simply "let go"?

 

It's not always easy. That's why I share these thoughts with you, for you. We all need a little encouragement along the way.

 

Right?

 

And, as you continue along this journey of life, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

Future You University     "Like" FYU on Facebook!     Podcast on iTunes     Podcast RSS feed

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Smart Phone Dumb

Don't forget! Today is "Thankful Thursday"...express thanks for all that you have for which to give thanks!

Be sure to listen to today's podcast if you haven't done so already. Although the blog article is on the same topic, I don't use a script so that both are the same word for word. You can follow the podcast here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mike-spillmans-future-you/id423660739 .

Well, I finally "gave in" after much refusal and bought a "smart phone" the other day.Why? For one, the phone I have been using is one that I've had since 2006 and, as you know, in technological years, that is a bit out of date and almost obsolete. But, hey, it did what I needed it to do...simply MAKE PHONE CALLS! But, I also have never gotten a new battery for this phone and the battery that is in it has really been weak for some time now. I've "limped along" for the past several months saying that "soon" I would replace it but I still was fighting the idea that I needed to get a phone that would also text, among other things.

It seems that the world around me has gotten so "hooked" on texting that everyone ASSUMES that I am able to text from my phone. I'm not sure how many times I've had people say to me, "I'll just text that to you" to which I would have to tell them - much to their surprise - that I did not test.

NOT ANYMORE! This old dog is learning new tricks and, due to some phone companies now offering flat "unlimited" rates that is as cheap as my "calling minutes only" plan with a major carrier - I caved and bought the smart phone.

I don't feel any smarter, though. As a matter of fact, as I have been working on getting this "smart phone" set up I actually feel DUMBER! But that's o.k. I didn't buy the phone to put on the appearance of being "smart". But, my guess is that there are many people in this world that have done just that...bought some phone or other gadget in hopes that it would make them appear to be "smart".

Guess what. It didn't.

I've come across so many people that complain about being "broke" and "barely getting by" and on and on while sporting one of these expensive-plan "smart phones" at a cost of $100 or more each month to have the privilege of doing a lot of nothing. (By the way - another pet peeve of mine is this: if you have one of these things PLEASE learn to PUT THAT THING DOWN around other people!).

How is it "smart" to have to try to scrape money together for something that you could get for a lot less with a lot less of the "bells and whistles" on it? Friends, I don't care who you are - that is NOT smart!

So, a "smart phone" won't make you smart or even LOOK smart. Neither will "fake glasses", a certain kind of computer, tablet, car or name brand of clothes. Nope. Not one bit.

As I get older I realize that what really makes a person smart is how they live based on what they have learned. What they have learned from others and what they have learned by living life. A person is smart that has learned that this world does NOT revolve around them and that we can ALL learn something from each other along the way.

A person is smart who, after such observation as was just discussed, has learned to treat people with kindness and respect and, for those who have not learned these lessons yet and "push our buttons" by their own selfish behavior - to sometimes learn to bite our tongues and try to help guide them along the way.

A smart person will not always feel the need to TELL you but will often rather SHOW you by example.

A smart person will be slow to judge because they realize that they, themselves, are an unfinished project.

How "smart" are you? How is THIS "education" coming along?

In case you didn't know, school for THIS education is open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and it is being held wherever you are at any given time.

Enjoy. Learn. Grow. Strive to become "smarter" each and every day and, as you do so, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

RELATIONSHIPS: They ALL Belong to You!

"RELATIONSHIPS: They ALL Belong to You!"

Yesterday we discussed the very obvious statement, "Relationships: We ALL Have Them!" and, today, we discuss another that SHOULD be just as obvious.

Here's the deal - when we discuss "YOUR relationships" we have declared something that is very important for us to understand. The word "your" signifies ownership! YOUR relationships belong to YOU!

Why is that important? Because this important fact helps us understand that YOU are the "common denominator" in all of your relationships. ALL of them.

Sometimes the following thought is hard for us to admit and sometimes we don't WANT to admit this fact to ourselves. But, when we understand that WE are the common denominator in all of our relationships, then we must also understand that if our relationships tend to be "less than desired" then we need to take a look at ourselves.

It's easy for us to blame everyone else. It's easy for us to say that it's not our fault that our relationships are not quite what we'd like them to be.

However, by understanding that WE are the common denominator in ALL of those relationships then, perhaps, it's time for us to get honest with ourselves and take a look at US!

Ouch!

We'll talk more about this as we go along in the next few articles so I'll move on to the other part of today's focus.

In this series I will be examining all kinds of relationships but I want to start with the "outside rim" of the relationships that we all have and then we'll work in closer and closer until we begin to discuss those relationships that are closest to us all.

So, today I want to challenge you to consider those relationships that would fit into the category of those that you have "semi-regular" contact with during the week. Perhaps your mail man (or is that "letter carrier"?) or the check out clerk at the local grocery store, or a waiter/waitress that is at your favorite restaurant.

Sometimes we get busy with our own "business" and we don't even acknowledge that these people exist. How many times each day would you think this happens to these people. A LOT!

I was very impressed at one event at which General Colin Powell spoke. This man has spoken with some of the most powerful people in the world on many occasions and has had some of these same people listen to what he had to say.

Yet, he shared how important it was to take the time to reach out to those that, many times, are overlooked. He specifically talked about the parking attendants where he worked. He shared how he always made sure he took the time to put his window down and ask how they were doing before he drove out of the garage.

Did he HAVE to do this? No.

But he did. And it made a difference. Not so much because THE General Colin Powell took time to say hello to these people but it was just the fact that SOMEONE took the time to do so.

You don't have to be a famous person in order to make such a positive impact on the lives of those around you. Why not take the time today (and tomorrow and the next day and....well you get the point) to "reach out" and say "thank you" or ask how those that make up this kind of relationship in your own life are doing?

THIS MATTERS!

Tomorrow I will discuss how THIS has an impact on all of our other relationships. Be sure to join me then.

And, until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

(be sure to go there and check out the audio/video version of these thoughts)

Find the Treasure in People!

As we continue our "Positive Alphabet" today, we want to go on to the letter, "F" and talk about how we all need to "FIND the TREASURE in PEOPLE."

First of all, many will likely think of their family and friends with this title in mind. GREAT! They certainly apply and we need to FIND and APPRECIATE the treasure that they are! Yes, I understand that you and your family may not have the best relationship in the world -- not everyone does. BUT, if you do or even if it is just SOME of your family, then be thankful for them and really appreciate the TREASURE that it is to have them in your life!

The TREASURE to have family that loves you. Regardless. Regardless of what you do right or wrong. Regardless of the mistakes you make. Regardless of your success or your failure. Regardless.

The same is to be said of those "true friends" that stand by you - again, REGARDLESS! Those friends that are not "fair weather friends" but are there when things are good OR bad! Those friends that love you and stand by you simply because you are their friend! WHAT A TREASURE!

Let's expand our thoughts a little and consider those people that you are around every day but that don't fit the category of "family or friends" as defined above. Perhaps these are your co-workers. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah, yeah - I understand. But here is the challenge --

"Each person carries a treasure to be revealed."

Wow! When you think about that - it can be truly amazing to think about what you may discover! If we would approach each person contacted during our day with this thought in mind - what might happen?

Yes, I understand that some may require quite a bit more "digging" before we find the treasure. And, yes, some may not even look like treasure at all -- but they may be a "diamond in the rough"!

Make this a challenge and "dig". Make this a challenge and realize that each person carries this treasure within. Perhaps it lies just below the surface, waiting to be unearthed by YOU!

What about those even outside THIS circle? Waiters, waitresses, check out personnel, etc. Those folks that often get overlooked as if they don't even exist. What about those standing behind you or in front of you in a crowded line? What about those that pass you along the street?

HUMAN KINDNESS AND CONTACT can go a long way in unearthing the treasure that lies within!

THINK ABOUT IT and GET EXCITED about it as well!

Let this be a challenge and a determination in your life each and every day! Be determined to "find the treasure in people" each and every day!

Just think about how that will impact YOUR life and then think about how it will IMPACT the lives of those around you!

Wow, I get excited just thinking about it!

Do it. Dig!

And, at the same time (and this WILL happen because of it!)...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

It's YOUR Day and It's YOUR Choice!

It's Monday! How do you feel about that?

So many of us DREAD Monday's and, if we REALLY dread it a lot, it begins to even affect our weekend.

Isn't there something that we can do about that? SURE THERE IS!

You see, regardless of the day or the situation, we need to CLAIM OWNERSHIP of our day - "It's MY day!". (I can't help it, but that commercial of people sticking their heads out of their windows and yelling, "It's my money and I need it now!" just flashed through my head!)

But, in the same way, it IS your day - and you need to CLAIM IT NOW!

Yes, you can choose to MAKE IT (take action!) an AWESOME (not mediocre) day - it's up to you. I want to encourage you to stop "allowing" others to impact your day to the point that you give them "ownership" over your day. How often do you think or utter words such as, "That person ruined my day"?

That's only possible if we allow it to be possible. I, personally, belive it to be IMPOSSIBLE! No one has that power over your day. Oh, I know that they can sure do everything within their power to "rain on your parade" - but it's your choice as to whether you will allow that or whether you will dance, celebrate and have your parade anyway!

IT'S YOUR CHOICE!

What do you choose for YOUR day today?

I encourage you to "Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike Spillman