1st of "3 Dangerous Myths to Avoid"

 

Today I will begin a discussion on "3 Dangerous Myths to Avoid" that I hope you will consider very seriously. These are three things that I've put together myself that is based on several tendencies that I have observed over the past several years.

I have seen an increase in the "belief" and "practice" of each of these and, friend, such is a POISON and a DISEASE for any person and/or society. 

Let's begin with the 1st of these dangerous myths:

Let me start off with this disclaimer, just as I do on the podcast on today's topic. I am NOT talking about situations where a child or adult has been in an abusive situation and/or relationship. Many times, the offender will do all that they can to make the victim believe that this was their fault. Many have problems believing this lie for many years. Again, know this up front - this is NOT what I'm referring to in this article. 

What I AM talking about is the increased occurrence of this attitude that has become prevalent in our society.  I see this evident in our political system, our schools, managers, all the way down to individuals.

It's called an AVOIDANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY.  It's also called "Playing the BLAME GAME".

You'll hear it all around you if you will but open your ears and really listen.The words usually begin with something like, "Well, I would have done it, but..." or "That's what I was about to do next..." or "I wasn't really trained how to do that" or any number of other things that could be labeled as an EXCUSE.

What about you? Have YOU been sipping on this poison?

Here's a quick way to find out: If the first words out of your mouth tend to be some sort of "explanation" (better known as an EXCUSE) as to why you didn't get something done, then, friend, you just exhibited the idea of "It's Not My Fault".

No one is perfect. No one will ever do everything right all of the time. There are times that things do take place that prevents us from completing a task. DO YOU VERY BEST and, if things fall short, stand up and accept the responsibility as well as any consequences that may follow.

If you have children, what are they learning from you in this area? Are they learning - from YOU - how to accept responsibility or how to make excuses?

Rid your life and your vocabulary of this phrase. Remember, you may not verbalize these exact words but, while making excuses, you still state the same thing - "It's Not My Fault!".

It's time that we expected such from those in public office but, friend, we should also expect the same thing from ourselves.

Wouldn't you agree?

Be sure and join me in the next article as we discuss the 2nd of the 3 Dangerous Myths: "It's Not My Job".

Until then, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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"I" in BELIEF

 

- I -

 

The word for today is "I", the personal pronoun indicating "me" or "myself", for example. (Yeah, it's a single letter and a "word" as well!).

 

 

As a quick recap, we began with the letter "B" and the word "beyond". Belief is the ability to look and see BEYOND our current circumstances. We then used the letter "E" for the word "events". Our current circumstances are made up of daily events and, occasionally, bigger events that come our way from time to time. Closely related was the letter "L" for the word "life". These events make up our life! Life DOES happen...good or bad. And it's what we DO with this life that we experience each day that shows what our BELIEF actually means to/for us.

 

Yes, others can encourage you along the way (like with blogs and podcasts) but it is still ultimately up to YOU to determine your reaction to the events that make up your life. Do YOU have the ability to see BEYOND such events?

 

"I am responsible for my own actions".

 

We can't blame anyone else and we should not try to come up with any excuses. It is up to ME for I am the one that determines my path. NOT my circumstances, NOT the events that make up my life.

 

I will determine where I go from here. No one else.

 

This is short, but this is likely the most important word to consider in this process. We can talk all we want about our belief but, friend, talk is cheap.

 

I show what I believe by what I decide to DO.

 

And, just as a reminder, you DO have the power and ability to live your belief!

 

Until next time, always be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

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Choose Responsibly, ACT Responsibly!

Would THIS Help?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if it really WAS as easy as seeing a sign like the one above?

Now, let me ask you another question...do you think you'd STILL choose the "RIGHT DECISION" 100% of the time even if there WERE such a sign right in front of you?

Let me answer that for you...NO, you wouldn't!

Why? Because that's just the way we are. We are basically selfish people and we tend to do what WE want as opposed to what may be the "right" or "best" thing to do.

Follow me on this example and be honest with yourself. How many times during the course of your life have you KNOWN what was the right vs. wrong thing to do and you chose the WRONG thing anyway? You may have even known that you might get punished and/or grounded when (not if!) your parents found out about it but, your SELFISH desire to do what YOU wanted overcame that fear of punishment and, you did what YOU wanted to do anyway!

Not very responsible, is it?

Now, sure, we can excuse things like that to our being young and foolish but - ARE YOU READY TO GET HONEST NOW? - how many of us STILL act in such a way from time to time?

You see, it's not enough to just CHOOSE responsibly but it's also important to put that CHOICE into ACTION! And, yes, it's possible to choose and not act....remember, you HAVE done such a thing even in your own life.

If you're still having a hard time thinking that you HAVE done such a thing let me ask you still ANOTHER question. Has anyone - EVER - in your whole life ever said something like the following to you....."But I thought you said you were going to ____________ (fill in the blank)!" ?

That's right. You may have even "announced" what your choice was and STILL decided to do something different. You decided NOT to act upon that choice. It may be something as simple as, "I thought you said you were going to wash the car today!" to something much more serious such as, "I thought you said you were going to stop drinking!".

So, to sum this all up, let's look at what we've discussed:

1. It's important to CHOOSE RESPONSIBLY what we allow into our minds. What we allow into our minds/mindset (positive or negative) WILL have a DIRECT impact upon our lives and the lives of each and every person that we come into contact with each and every day.

2. Understand the responsibility that you have to others besides yourself. It's not all about you! But, at the same time, the better you become the better you become for those around you!

3. Don't make choices or decisions "in the heat of the moment". They will most likely be the WRONG decisions.

4. Do the research needed to make a responsible decision. Pray about it. Think about it. Sleep on it. Then, and only then, should you really try to make such a decision.

5. Even after all of what you did in #4 DO NOT be tempted to still act upon your selfish impulses. It's not enough to just CHOOSE responsibly, you must also ACT upon that responsible choice!

Hey listen, we are all human and we will STILL make irresponsible and/or unwise decisions. However, we CAN equip ourselves in such a way that we make fewer and fewer of these types of decisions in our lives.

I'd love to hear any feedback you have on these thoughts and your experiences in this area.

Thanks for your time today and be sure to check out the audio podcasts on these topics at http://www.michaelspillman.com/

Until next time...

"Be sure to make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

It's All About You!

Now that sounds a bit selfish, doesn't it? You would think this would be the exact OPPOSITE of what I would be wanting to promote in this blog, wouldn't you?

Usually when you hear the phrase, "It's all about you" it is being said by someone that doesn't mean for it to be taken as a compliment! It's usually being said about someone that has demonstrated, by their actions, that everything centers around them and what THEY want - regardless of how it impacts or inconveniences anyone else.

However, I want to use this in a different and a POSITIVE way when I say, "It's all about you!"

Here it is: The power that you possess to use your "God-given" talents and abilities to do good in this world means absolutely NOTHING unless YOU decide to use them in that way. No one else can do it for you and no one else can use YOUR talents and abilities for you in such a way. Only you.

That being said, I think you see the point now when I say, "It's all about YOU!"

In all areas of our lives we must understand that we CANNOT sit back and wait for other people to do anything for us. Now, I don't mean that others won't do kind things for us along the way. What I'm talking about is our tendency sometimes to wait and expect others to "make us happy", for example as we discussed last week or to "give us a break", etc.

If you are waiting and expecting others to make the opportunity for you then, guess what? You will be waiting for a very long time.

It's up to YOU!

Yes, only YOU (no, I'm not going to say, "...can prevent forest fires" - even though I'm tempted!) can take the steps necessary to take the necessary ACTION toward your goals and dreams.

Simply put - it's all about YOU!

Be sure to listen to today's podcast to get more comment on this - but I think the point is pretty direct and simple.

So, what are YOU going to do about it?

Again, the choice is yours: do nothing or YOU DO SOMETHING.

The same is true for the direction of your day and it is why I end each blog entry and each podcast and each article that I write with the phrase...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Mike's Rant on RESPONSIBILITY

Let me start off today acknowledging that I have not lived a perfect life. Let me say up front that I have made HUGE mistakes in my life that resulted in some hard things to work through. I am not perfect and I do not claim to be perfect.


That being said, I have to rant a little bit about some of the things that are "news" - especially in the sports world - during this time period.


You know, it wasn't very long ago that I had a series of discussions about recent events in the sports world that involved several "young" men who had made some very unwise decisions.


One of those involved an "unamed" (my choice) professional golfer that is still very much in the news even now as I type this article today.


I know that you figured out at the time that I was referring to Tiger Woods and I do mention him by name in the podcast that I did on this topic today.


HOWEVER, let me state something right up front - I am not venting about Tiger Woods today and here's the reason why: I have not listened to what he has had to say on the topic and I will not address "rumors" of what has or has not been said. I didn't even watch the "news conference" the other day when he "apologized" in front of a few close friends and relatives (and all of the T.V. audience, too???). Obviously, I can't have missed SOME of what has run across the bottom of some stations I have watched that have quoted some of the things he has said. For example, it has been reported on several occassions that he was being treated at a sex addiction clinic - although this has never been confirmed or admitted by Tiger Woods himself.

However, through the course of this "story" being addressed to the point of obsession another situation has come to light and I HAVE heard someone associated with this other situation talk about some things that have just not settled well with me.


So now my RANT begins!

One day I was watching ESPN (and, by the way, my next "rant" in this area is going to be on the media and how they have just gone overboard on so many things) they shared information about one of their former on-air commentators, Steve Phillips, having been fired from ESPN as well as a job as the New York Mets General Manager both due to him having affairs with people that he worked with. ESPN proceed to show a clip of an interview that Steve Phillips had done on the "Today" show earlier that week in which Mr. Phillips discussed the fact that he had been at a sex addicition clinic.

Now, this is not an EXACT quote, o.k.? However, he said something very similiar to this: "Here's when I knew that what I had was an addiction. When I knew that, continuing my behavior might cost me my job and even my marriage, I did it anyway."


Now, friend, I'm not sure how that strikes you - but that just "rubs me the wrong way" and I've been holding this in for a couple of weeks until I finished up on my other topics.

I guess I should place another "disclaimer" here for the moment before I continue:
I DO understand that an addict can be so wrapped up in their addiction (whatever that addiction may be) that they completely throw out any "common sense thinking" out the door and their main focus is to get their "drug" regardless of the cost. O.k.? I do understand that. I do know that to be true and know of situations where people have lost EVERYTHING due to such an addiction. Is it possible for someone to be a "sex addict"? I'm sure it is.

But - and this is just my opinion - I'm not buying this "addiction" thing for a moment in this situation. Let me share with you why I feel this way.

The reasoning. I'm sorry, but that "reasoning" that was used by Mr. Phillips is just LAME! If his reasoning is THE definition of an addiction then we are ALL addicts of some sort!

Think about it - anytime ANYONE does ANYTHING that is wrong, they could use this "reasoning" to claim an addiction. "Yeah, I knew that if I got caught I'd get punished, and I did it anyway. Hey! I must have an addiction!"

Pardon me, but I don't think so.

You can listen to the podcast and get more on my thoughts, but let me say this: (again, this is just MY opinion) Mr. Phillips (and countless others every day) did what he did because it is what he WANTED to do!

Pure and simple.

We are teaching our young people a TERRIBLE lesson and setting a TERRIBLE example by such thoughts and actions. Own up to your mistake, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY and don't fall back on such a weak argument and call it an addiction.

Yes, even by taking responsibility the fact remains that WRONG WAS DONE and OTHERS WERE HURT by these actions BUT...I have far more respect for someone that takes responsibility, don't you?

And, oh, by the way...in these situations, you will hear the phrase used, "I take full responsibility for my actions..." I beg to differ. If you take full responsibility for your actions then STOP FALLING BACK ON THE ADDICTION STORY and simply state: "I screwed up!"

As I stated in my podcast, you don't have to agree with my thoughts on this. I don't expect that everyone will. But, if nothing else, please help me in this area of helping us ALL see - and, by doing so, instilling this important principle into our young people - the need for taking responsibility for our mistakes.

Thanks for allowing me to rant. Be warned, I'm going to do some more tomorrow!

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"


Mike

Taking Responsibility

In today's podcast I share with you the things that a particular negative person I deal with at least once a week spurts out of his negative mouth! (Don't you just love people like this?)

Here's the thing - we all deal with people like this from time to time, right? What do YOU do about it? How do YOU handle it? (I'd love to hear from you on this - just shoot me an e-mail at mike@futureyouuniversity.com )

On this particular Tuesday Mr. Negative (as I will refer to him from now on) was spouting about how the government is to blame for everything and "if" this and "if" that.... hmmmm, I'm thinking he hasn't read the chapter on "Old Man 'If'" in Napoleon Hill's book, huh? ;)

Among other things in his negative rant he made the comment about someone making $40, 000 being poor. Now, folks, let's get some perspective on this statement and look at some actual facts about this part of the world. This comment is being made about the same county as I live in the state of Arkansas. Official statistics show that the estimated median household income in 2007 in this county was $26,316 and overall, in the state of Arkansas in 2007 it was $38,134.

YOU do the math! It's pretty obvious that Mr. Negative has no idea what he is talking about! Does this surprise you? It shouldn't! Negative people love to spout off thoughts, ideas and even "statistics" that have no basis in fact at all. Don't be fooled by them or take what they say as something of any value whatsoever!

When you look at the facts, a person making $40,000 in this little county in Arkansas is WAY ahead of others in this county and even a little further ahead than most others in the state as a whole! But, for negative people, facts don't matter! All that matters is the EXCUSE!

And, this is what was happening with Mr. Negative - excuses! He was making excuses as to why he (I assume he was talking about himself) couldn't ever get ahead even thought the fact is that he is far better off than most around here.

I'll be sharing some more from Mr. Negative in the next few days, but for today, this is enough for me to make the point for today's podcast and blog. Again, STOP making excuses and START making your move!

All of us can point to difficult times in our lives, right? All of us can find situations that DO make things tough in our lives - but what then? What do you do? What do I do?

Give in? Give up?

Yes, sometimes, things are out of our control but there are also many things that we have caused to happen in our own lives and we must suffer through the results.

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Isn't it time we took responsibility for our own lives, for our own mistakes and yes, even for those circumstances beyond our control - isn't it time we took the responsibility to "fix" it?

Right at the end of today's podcast I shared with the listeners some really unbelievable financial figures that I and my family went through during a very tough time in our lives. Take a listen to it. I will be going over that in more detail for tomorrow's podcast just simply to help you know that, yes, I, too, have been through it.

Today is YOUR day! Take responsibility for it and refuse to hand that responsibility over to any one else!

You can do it! You MUST do it!

So yes...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Putting SKIN on Theory!

So, we've studied the book, "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill.

We've looked at and shared some POWERFUL thoughts and ideas on how to improve our lives and move on toward our goals and riches (again, whatever that may be for YOUR life).

Now what?

In Tuesday's podcast I began to "put the skin on theory" or, in other words, to make "practical application" of the things we have studied over the past several months.

But, here's the kicker - it's still up to YOU!

There is no way around that fact and that is what you will hear me say today. So, if you don't want to hear that truth - don't listen to the podcast and don't read another word of this blog.

Too many people still want to rely on "old man IF" that we talked about very recently. They like to think that it is out of their control and that there are "reasons (actually "excuses") as to why they have not been able to make positive progress in their lives when - in all actuality - it all comes back to THEM and THEIR DECISIONS (or LACK of decision). And, yes, failure to make a decision is a decision within itself!

So are you ready to look in the mirror and take a long, hard look at yourself? If not - again, there is no need to proceed. However, if you are serious about this positive progression, you may not LIKE the idea of taking a long, hard look at yourself but you will do it ANYWAY - because you must!

Once again, don't let the simplicity turn you away. Many times the profound can be discovered in the simple.

Go back and watch the video of my moustache (yeah, you read that right! *LOL*) -- what are YOU willing to sacrifice for your success?

Or, to put it another way (this is the title of my 3rd podcast that I did back in the early part of March) - "What Are YOUR Dreams Worth?"

Think about it.

And, while you do -

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike