"RELATIONSHIPS: Family"

"RELATIONSHIPS: Family"

This entry marks the last in this discussion of "relationships" and I appreciate you for taking the time to read and/or listen to these. (Yes, you can access the podcast of all of my topics by going to http://www.michaelspillman.com/ ).

We have gone through a wide range of relationships from those that we come into contact with on a "semi-regular" basis such as a waiter or waitress, check out clerk or a parking attendant to name a few. We have also looked at the relationships that we have with our coworkers, our boss and different levels of our friends.

Now we look at what may be the most difficult level of relationships that we all deal with in our lives - our FAMILY.

Now, before I go any further let me say this - for some of you, you may feel that the relationship that you have with your CLOSET FRIEND like we discussed in the last article is one that is closer than anyone in your family. And, this may be true. After all, there are times that you share things with a close friend that you are afraid to bring up to someone in your family at the time. Perhaps you run it by the friend first to see what advice they may give you. This - among others - is one reason it is SO important to pick those close friends carefully! If you are going to ask and perhaps follow their advice then you need to make sure that the advice they give is actually GOOD advice.

I know from my own experiences growing up - as likely many of you can agree - that I got along better with my friends than I did my own brothers and sisters. One reason is that I didn't LIVE with my friends! Spending the amount of time with ANYONE that you spend with your immediate family might create problems.

By the way, this is one of the main attractions in an affair. That person that you are "attracted" to is one that, likely, is always "at their best" for you. You don't see them with baby food splattered on their dress and they don't see YOU with your "slobber trail" on your face first thing in the morning. It's easy to be attracted to what you don't see and/or deal with on a daily basis. That's one reason we say in MOST of our wedding vows something along the line of, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health".

Hey listen, family is not always what it should be.

Why? Because, again, they are human just as you and I are. Tough break, huh?

I know for those of you that are doing everything you can to develop and maintain a positive attitude that, sometimes, some members of our family actually act as a "roadblock" in this effort. I probably see this brought up in every discussion when someone decides to step out and try to improve their situation.

Hey, it doesn't even have to be when someone tries to get involved in some sort of "opportunity"! I've even heard from some that get criticized just because they seek out and read as much positive information (like this) as possible.

WHAT'S THE DEAL?

Honestly, I think it's the same deal with family as it is with anyone else. Anytime you try to better yourself you tend to force those around you (including family) to put the spot light on their own lives and their own decisions in this area. And, most don't like what they find. So, instead of putting the effort into improving their own lives, they find it easier to try to destroy YOUR efforts instead.

It would be nice if family reacted better than that but, many times, they just don't. So, what do you do about that?

When it comes to others in our lives it is likely easier to distance ourselves from those that try to derail our efforts than it is to do so with family. ESPECIALLY if you are living in the same house with them. You can try to talk to/with them and simply ask them how reading and absorbing positive information is something that is going to anything for you (and them!) but help.

Many people struggle with this with their own spouse. Ouch!

I honestly cannot tell you what to do in your situation but I would suggest first and foremost that you simply try to get them "on board" with you. Sometimes it is easier to let them SEE the change and difference in your life than it is to try to TELL them the benefits. Don't criticize them and tell them that THEY need to start getting into this stuff because by doing so you are indicating to them that they are not where they need to be. Sure, it may be true but to make them feel that way is going to do nothing but lead you to an argument.

In ALL of this - and I am talking specifically about your relationship with your spouse - TRUTH and HONESTY is the most important ingredient that you MUST have in this relationship.

Just like the relationship with your close friends that we discussed in the last article, it is AN ABSOLUTE MUST when you start talking about your spouse.

I have read in discussion groups of some talking about the fact that they bought into some sort of program behind their spouse's back and that, when they see them "coming around", they were going to tell them. DISASTER IN THE WORKS!!

TRUTH.

HONESTY.

I could write PAGES on this part but I won't (for now). As I said on the podcast version of this topic, if you don't have this in your relationship, you have nothing.

When you lie to your spouse you are DESTROYING that relationship. Oh please, stop trying to use that "white lie" or "for their own good" crap.

Picture it this way: Your relationship is a beautifully sculptured rock with much time and effort having been put into it to create this masterpiece. Every time you lie or are dishonest in any way is like you taking a chisel and chipping away at that masterpiece. Sure, the first few "chippings" may not seem to have any effect but, over time, each and every stroke contributes to it's total destruction.

Too many of us wonder what happened when it seemingly crumbles before us "out of the clear blue". It didn't happen overnight or "out of the clear blue". Don't ever forget that.

I'd love to hear from you on anything that I have shared with you on this series. Please feel free to share with me any thoughts and ideas on this - I'd love to hear from you.

Bottom line in ALL of your relationships - TRUTH and HONESTY will always bring about the BEST in any and all of your relationships.

TRUTH + HONESTY = TRUST.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II

"RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II"

(Your "Inner Circle" of Friends)

Even though we talked about friends in our last segment, today we take another step closer in our "relationship circle" and spend a few moments talking about the relationships we have with our closest friends.

That's right, today we are going to talk about the relationships we have with those very SPECIAL people that we know are there for us at a moments notice. Perhaps they are the Tonto to your Lone Ranger or the Robin to your Batman.

Get the point?

This is the kind of friend that, just by looking at you, can know if something is wrong and they know just what to say OR to maybe even say nothing at all and just be there with you.

Now, guys (men) - sadly, for many (if not most) of us, we generally do not have these kinds of relationships. Oh, I know some of you do but, more often than not, we don't. That could be another whole series of topics to discuss, right?

WARNING: Men and/or women...I would STRONGLY suggest to you that you make sure this type of friend is someone of the same sex as you. Why? So that, if either of you are married, your relationship with your spouse is not jeopardized by this "friendship".

Stop your justification and your whining. I'm speaking truth here and I suggest you really pay attention to this IF you wish to maintain the strong relationship with your spouse.

Now, back to the point at hand - these CLOSE friends and the relationship that you have with them.

We've already discussed this point in relation to ALL of our relationships but it is also worth repeating when we talk about this level of our relationships - because this relationship is made up of HUMAN BEINGS we WILL disappoint and be disappointed from time to time.

Got it?

There's no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. There will be times that you may argue and fight and sometimes it is because that friend is being straight with us when we don't WANT to hear the truth about some situation.

However, these are the type of relationships that, even when you have had a disagreement, you realize you cannot do without. You NEED this relationship in your life. You NEED this sounding board and this voice of reason in your life and, hopefully, the same is true of them and their need for you and this relationship in their life.

Here is the KEY INGREDIENT needed in such a relationship (yeah, it's two different words but it still speaks to the same point): TRUTH and HONESTY!

In order for you to truly have the kind of relationship that allows you to share your innermost thoughts with this person, you have to TRUST them when they tell you that what you share stays with them and that they will not share it with anyone else. And, it has to be the same with what they may need to share with you.

TRUST.

This is why, many times, we fail to have really close relationships. Why? Because, due to past issues when others have destroyed trust, we find it hard to trust again.

I understand that completely.

Are YOU trustworthy? Do YOU demand something out of your friend that you are not willing to commit to? This is a two-way street, friend.

And, hey, listen... we can ALL find someone to serve as a "yes man" in our lives, right? You know, the type of person that wants to please us so much and be our friend so much that they won't really be honest with us but, instead, will agree with us regardless. This is the kind of person that will tell you that you look GREAT even if you purposely put on some hideous outfit just to see what they would say.

THIS IS NOT A TRUE FRIEND.

A true friend will be HONEST with you even when you don't want to hear the honest truth. Now, they will be kind (unless you won't listen) in the process but they understand the depth of your friendship and the demand that such depth puts on the relationship to be HONEST.

Relationships are destroyed when trust and honesty is "thrown out the window".

In other words, when a relationship if void of truth and honesty then it is not a friendship relationship.

Think about that and let it soak in.

Can you forgive and be forgiven? YES!

And, again, if this is one of "those" TRUE relationships that have been messed up by our human frailty, then you (and the other party) will realize the value of the relationship and you will both be willing and ready to work out the hurt and move on.

But, know this - when trust is destroyed it will take a VERY LONG TIME for that trust to be established once again. And, to be honest with you, sometimes it can never be reestablished.

So, be careful and cherish this friendship. Be thankful and EXPRESS THAT THANKS to such a friend and do all that you can to protect that relationship with TRUTH and HONESTY!

I am happy to say that I have ONE such relationship in my life (thanks, Fred!) and I hope you have at least one and even more than one.

Any of us that has such a friend in life is truly blessed. Again, express that thanks to that friend and be committed to be the BEST friend that YOU can be as well.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

"RELATIONSHIPS: Friends"

RELATIONSHIPS: Friends

Now it's time to take a step closer in our "relationship circle" as we begin to talk about our friends.

Even though we have taken a step in closer in this "relationship circle" we are still not talking about those friends that are closest to us. This "level" of friends are those that we spend some time and hang out with but, again, aren't the ones we'd tell our deepest secrets to.

ALL relationships can be difficult and those with our friends are no exception. Again, because our friendships are made up of people we deal with disappointments and frustrations. Sometimes this is due to what others have done and, sometimes, it is due to what WE have done in this relationship.

If you've never done this, I would ask that you draw a series of circles with the center being in the shape of a heart. (This is kind of like a bulls eye but, again, with your heart at the middle).

Now, after drawing the heart in the center, draw your first ring out from there a little bit and then, draw another ring beyond that one and so on until you have about five rings. This will help you in what we are discussing in this series.

In the area between the heart and the first ring write the names of those in your family that you are the closest to whether it be your spouse or some other family member. I understand that there may be some friends that are even closer to you than your spouse but, for this purpose, I'd like you to put your spouse there if you have one and, if not, the family member that you are closet to.

Now, in the space between that ring and the next one, write down the names of your CLOSET friend or friends. These need to be those (or, it may be only one) that, again, you would share your deepest and darkest secrets with KNOWING that they would protect that and keep it safe. These are the people that know you better than you know yourself at times.

In the space between that ring and the next one write down the names of that group of friends that you like to spend time with and hang out at the movies, ballgames, etc. True, your closest friends may be a part of this group as well but these are the people that you enjoy hanging around but you may NOT necessarily share your inner thoughts with. Write down as many as you want here - it is totally up to you.

If you want to go ahead and take this out further based on our earlier discussions and, in the next area between rings you can either write down some names OR just write the word, "coworkers". And, then, past that you can write down words such as, "waiter/waitress", "parking attendant", etc. BONUS POINTS for yourself IF you can put some names to these relationships!

This simply gives you a visual of what I have been discussing during this series and will also help you to clarify who in your life fits in these categories.

Now, for today's purposes, look at the names that you wrote down in that category of "friends" that you enjoy hanging around. Who are they? What are their names?

Do they help you with your positive mindset OR do they tend to be on the negative side? Are they a help or a hindrance in this area?

Are they people that you can trust and are they people that honor your relationship ALL of our relationships are important. ALL of our relationships not only bear OUR "relational fingerprints" but they also have an impact upon OUR lives.

Sometimes it is necessary to make changes in this area of friends IF we find that they are not helpful in keeping our minds focused on improving our lives.

Friend, it is totally up to you. No one can answer those questions about this particular area of friends for you.

Give it some thought and be the BEST that you can be in each area of these relationships!

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: In the Workplace II

"RELATIONSHIPS: In the Workplace II"

Before I get going on today's entry let me clarify that when I talk about your "boss" I am referring to that person that tells you what you need to do at your workplace each day. It may be a "manager" or "supervisor" but, regardless, they are YOUR boss.

How many of you LIKE your boss?

How many of you DISLIKE your boss?

Of those of you that DISLIKE your boss, how many of you would also say - honestly - that you don't put 100% into your efforts on the job BECAUSE OF your dislike for your boss? You know what I mean, right? It's the kind of attitude that says, "Why should I do that for you? I'm not going to do anything more than I absolutely have to!"

Now, an even more important question that you need to address: "How is that attitude helping you in ANY way whatsoever?"

Does it make you feel better? I can answer that for you - "NO!" Oh, you may THINK it makes you feel better but I can promise you that this "relationship" (as it stands) eats at you each and every day.

Is it IMPROVING your positive mindset? Again, an easy answer - "NO!"

So...what's the point?

What if I could tell you a way that will not only change the way you approach each work day BUT may very well lead to a promotion and/or better job for yourself?

Here it is: Do EVERYTHING you can to make your BOSS look as good as possible!

O.k. after you pick yourself up off of the floor I'll continue. Are you back with me now?

Doesn't that just go against everything that seems to make sense in the workplace?

But really take a close look at this idea. Again, how is the other approach working out for you?

When you decide that you are going to approach each day with the idea of doing the BEST job possible (hey, listen, don't roll your eyes - it really is an important step to take!) then you begin to LOOK FORWARD TO the day as opposed to DREADING the day.

When you begin to focus on making your boss look good, guess what? YOU will begin to be noticed and YOU will "look good" as well. Your boss (even if he/she IS a jerk) will begin to realize how invaluable you are to them and they will do all they can to keep you working for them.

THEN, other department managers will begin to notice what you are doing and then THEY will want to get you to work with/for them!

My wife is currently working a part time job that is nothing special. It's just a basic part time job that a lot of people fuss and gripe about. But, guess what? As she usually does, she has approached each day as a chance to make people smile and to just simply do the best she can. She has only been working at this job for two weeks and she has already had one manager tell her that "word" about her has already spread around the store and that all the managers are wanting her to work in their department.

IN JUST TWO WEEKS!

Now, you tell me, how can that be anything BUT good?

Now, even though YOUR immediate manager may want to keep you where you are so that you can continue to make them look good, THEIR manager will notice what you are doing and realize that it would be silly to keep you at that level and will likely want to promote you to a higher level in order to take better advantage of your work habit and attitude.

YES, THIS CAN BE REAL AND IT CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU!

But, first and foremost, you MUST change your attitude on all of this.

And then, quite honestly, the sky is the limit for you.

Hey, why not try it? Honestly, what do you have to lose?

BE YOUR BEST and see if THE BEST doesn't start happening to and for you!

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

RELLATIONSHIPS: In the Workplace

"RELATIONSHIPS: In the Workplace"

(access the audio/video version of this topic at: http://www.michaelspillman.com/)

First of all, just as I did on the podcast for today, let me clarify that I am NOT any type of "relationship expert". Quite honestly, I am not sure that there really IS such a thing and I challenge such a "title".

Anyway, I simply am sharing what I feel and think about these things based on my own personal experiences as well as my own observations. Again, we ALL have relationships so this is something that, hopefully, we can all relate to as we discuss these thoughts and ideas together.

Relationships... we all have them, they are "ours" and we put our "relational fingerprint" on each and every person that we come into contact with each and every day.

We have been talking about those "outer ridge" type of relationships that we all have (waiter, waitress, parking attendant, etc.) and how we are perceived by these people (perhaps the "real" us?) and how we treat those at this level of our relationships impacts ALL of our relationships.

Today, we move in one layer in our "relationship circle" and move into those relationships that we have at the workplace.

You may be saying, "WHAT relationships at my workplace? I try to do everything I can NOT to have relationships at my workplace!" That may be true but, whether you want them or not, they DO exist!

Think about this - the very fact that we spend so much time with these relationships (whether we want to or not) will DEFINITELY cause there to be an influence on our other relationships. What do I mean by that?

How many times have you either experienced this or you have heard other people talk about this experience - you come home from work (or someone else in your household comes home from work) in a rotten and stinky mood because of what has taken place WHILE AT work?

See what I mean?

We have had this basic discussion many times before but, the fact is simply this: YOU allow others to "push your buttons" and cause you to be in a bad mood. It's up to you whether or not you will turn this power over to those around you.

Easier said than done? YES! Will you be 100% successful in this each and every day? NOT LIKELY! But that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to improve in this area, wouldn't you agree?

Many times we fall into the trap of joining in with our coworkers when they begin to whine and complain about the job and/or the boss. Whine, whine, whine.

"Would you like some CHEESE with that whine?"

First and foremost - BE THANKFUL THAT YOU HAVE A JOB! Now, I understand that it may not be what you want to do for the rest of your life and I understand it may not be the BEST situation in the world. But, be THANKFUL!

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE!

That's right. You have a CHOICE in how you approach each day and it is up to YOU to follow through with that choice. It's all up to YOU and no one else.

It's up to you how you relate with your coworkers and if you will allow them to "suck you down" with the negativity" or if you will take a different path and challenge them (by your actions) to rise above that poison and up to something better.

And, it's up to you as to how you relate to any of the bosses you have ahead of you. I mention this on the podcast for today and I want to leave it with you today so that you can run it through your brain a few times before our next discussion. (By the way, I mistakenly said we'd talk about this "tomorrow" on the podcast forgetting that "tomorrow" is FUN FRIDAY. So, it will be Monday before we get back to this.)

What would happen if you decided to do EVERYTHING YOU COULD to make your boss look as GOOD AS THEY COULD?

Think about that and join me again for part 2 of this discussion on our relationships in the workplace.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: An Extension of YOU

"RELATIONSHIPS: An Extension of YOU

I'd like to mention something about the picture used above and how it relates to our topic. You can see four pictures of me - the same person but, yet, each picture is different than the other.

So it is as we deal with the different relationships in our lives. WE are the same person yet, we are perceived differently with each relationship that we have in our lives. Now, let's move on to the topic for today.

All of our relationships (remember, they ALL belong to us) have US as a common denominator. We talked about that before but it is important for us to never forget that fact.

And, regardless of what TYPE of relationship we are discussing (check out person, mailman, parking attendant or best friend) we leave our "fingerprints" on each and every one.

Wow, think about that for a moment!

Sometimes we think these "outer ridge" relationships don't really matter. You know, the ones that we discussed yesterday when we talked about taking the time to acknowledge those that we do come into contact with on a semi-regular basis or a regular basis such as a parking attendant.

We can fall into the trap (and lie) that how we treat these people doesn't really matter. After all, they don't really know us anyway, right?

WRONG!

They DO know you by your actions! Who you SAY you are is not as revealing as who you SHOW you are. Now there's an ugly truth to think about.

We want to think that if these people in that "outer ridge" of our relationships think the wrong thing about us (according to who?) then it's because they don't really know the "real" us.

Oh? Perhaps they DO know the "real" you more than you care to admit.

You leave your "fingerprint" on every person that you come into contact with during each and every day. Like it or not, this is true.

Think about this as well - for most of these people this is the ONLY impression that they have of you. Now, based on that, what impression do they have of YOU?

In my opinion, more than anything else, how you treat those in this category defines who we are more than anything you want to believe or want others to believe.

It is your "fingerprint". It is your "identification" of who you really are.

If you are not satisfied with the "fingerprint" that you have been leaving behind why not make a change starting TODAY?

Unlike our own physical fingerprints we CAN actually "change" this "fingerprint" that we leave behind.

It's your move.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

RELATIONSHIPS: They ALL Belong to You!

"RELATIONSHIPS: They ALL Belong to You!"

Yesterday we discussed the very obvious statement, "Relationships: We ALL Have Them!" and, today, we discuss another that SHOULD be just as obvious.

Here's the deal - when we discuss "YOUR relationships" we have declared something that is very important for us to understand. The word "your" signifies ownership! YOUR relationships belong to YOU!

Why is that important? Because this important fact helps us understand that YOU are the "common denominator" in all of your relationships. ALL of them.

Sometimes the following thought is hard for us to admit and sometimes we don't WANT to admit this fact to ourselves. But, when we understand that WE are the common denominator in all of our relationships, then we must also understand that if our relationships tend to be "less than desired" then we need to take a look at ourselves.

It's easy for us to blame everyone else. It's easy for us to say that it's not our fault that our relationships are not quite what we'd like them to be.

However, by understanding that WE are the common denominator in ALL of those relationships then, perhaps, it's time for us to get honest with ourselves and take a look at US!

Ouch!

We'll talk more about this as we go along in the next few articles so I'll move on to the other part of today's focus.

In this series I will be examining all kinds of relationships but I want to start with the "outside rim" of the relationships that we all have and then we'll work in closer and closer until we begin to discuss those relationships that are closest to us all.

So, today I want to challenge you to consider those relationships that would fit into the category of those that you have "semi-regular" contact with during the week. Perhaps your mail man (or is that "letter carrier"?) or the check out clerk at the local grocery store, or a waiter/waitress that is at your favorite restaurant.

Sometimes we get busy with our own "business" and we don't even acknowledge that these people exist. How many times each day would you think this happens to these people. A LOT!

I was very impressed at one event at which General Colin Powell spoke. This man has spoken with some of the most powerful people in the world on many occasions and has had some of these same people listen to what he had to say.

Yet, he shared how important it was to take the time to reach out to those that, many times, are overlooked. He specifically talked about the parking attendants where he worked. He shared how he always made sure he took the time to put his window down and ask how they were doing before he drove out of the garage.

Did he HAVE to do this? No.

But he did. And it made a difference. Not so much because THE General Colin Powell took time to say hello to these people but it was just the fact that SOMEONE took the time to do so.

You don't have to be a famous person in order to make such a positive impact on the lives of those around you. Why not take the time today (and tomorrow and the next day and....well you get the point) to "reach out" and say "thank you" or ask how those that make up this kind of relationship in your own life are doing?

THIS MATTERS!

Tomorrow I will discuss how THIS has an impact on all of our other relationships. Be sure to join me then.

And, until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

(be sure to go there and check out the audio/video version of these thoughts)

RELATIONSHIPS: We ALL Have Them!

RELATIONSHIPS:

We ALL Have Them!

Sometimes we might think we would love it if we could live a life VOID of relationships. They are so much trouble at times and they require SO MUCH maintenance!

Yes, in a moment of "overwhelment" (not sure if that is even a word!) we may wish such a thing but, and we all know this deep down, it would be a very lonely life without relationships.

Relationships: We ALL have them and, just as with anything else, some are better than others and, at times, they can be downright difficult!

We have relationships with the family that we were born into (or adopted into) - mom, dad, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc.

We have relationships that WE have chosen - spouse/partner, in laws (outlaws?), children (now, we may not have chosen THAT child, but we chose to have a child, right?), etc.

We have relationships out of necessity - boss, co-workers, etc.

We have relationships that are business related - insurance agent, banker, dentist, doctor, etc.

In ALL of these that I just mentioned there are some that we like and some we wish would disappear or change. Am I right?

RELATIONSHIPS INVOLVE PEOPLE and, hence, the struggle and difficulty!

Relationships involve IMPERFECT PEOPLE (now we're getting down to the real problem).

Relationships involve people that are NOT ALWAYS IN AGREEMENT WITH US!

Now I'm steppin' on some toes!

So, since we ALL are involved in relationships in our lives and since so many of us struggle with some of them from time to time, I thought it would be a good topic for discussion in this blog AND on my podcast (access at: http://www.michaelspillman.com/).

WHAT I NEED FROM YOU - I need your feedback and input! Please share with me struggles that you have had/are having and, if you've worked through some of them, how it was done. Share questions, comments, insights, etc. with me so we can all benefit from these experiences together.

You can either leave a comment here on the blog, drop me a note via my Facebook page OR start a discussion (or just leave a comment) on the Future You University fan page on Facebook (you can access this on the "contacts" tab on the website I mentioned above) OR you can send me a direct e-mail at the following address:

mike@futureyouuniversity.com

I hope to hear from some of you on this topic.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com

DID YOU KNOW?

I thought I'd share this information JUST IN CASE those of you reading this blog didn't know that there was so much more available to you on the same topics!

DID YOU KNOW - were you aware - that I also do a daily podcast and "video-cast" of the exact same topic as what you find on this blog each day?

THAT'S RIGHT!

I do a podcast that can be found and subscribed to on iTunes OR that you can subscribe to the RSS feed directly via my website - www.MichaelSpillman.com

And, on top of all of that, I have begun to actually video my podcast as I record it for publication.

HOW DO I ACCESS THE PODCAST AND VIDEO-CAST?

As mentioned above, just go to the website, www.MichaelSpillman.com (this will take you to www.FutureYouUniversity.com ) and look for the "videocast" tab at the top.

Click on that tab and you will be taken to a page featuring my videos. Now, at the top of that "box" showing my most recent video you will find the iTunes logo (which is how you will connect to the podcast via iTunes), an RSS feed logo (much like how many of you have subscribed to this blog) AND a YouTube logo to which you can also subscribe. (Note: The videos shown on this page come straight from my YouTube channel so you can access them either way).

NOW YOU KNOW!

Please send some feedback on the articles/podcasts/videocasts. It really helps me a LOT to know that you are reading and/or listening and that what I am sharing is of benefit to you. Send me a message anytime via email - mike@futureyouuniversity.com

Thanks and, "Make it an AWESOME day!"

Mike

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" (Conclusion)

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" (Conclusion)

"DON'T FORGET TO LIVE!"

As I conclude my thoughts on the topic of "Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" I hope that you have really taken a close and serious look at your life and asked yourself that very question in regards to your own life.

"As long as there is breath there is hope" has been one of my sayings that I have shared many times in the past and I know I will continue to share it many times in the future. The premise simply being that, as long as you are alive, there is ALWAYS the potential to improve your situation and make things better.

Are you ALIVE?

Are you LIVING?

No, I don't mean purely in the physical sense. I'm not asking if you have a heartbeat as you read this. (It would be quite a story if you DIDN'T have a heartbeat as you were reading this!).

In yesterday's blog I closed out with this quote that also came from the movie, "Tuck Everlasting"... "Don't be afraid of death but rather be afraid of the unlived life."

What do you think of when you think of living a life without regrets?

Is it simply trying to live life without doing much of anything wrong and, if you DID do something wrong, making sure that you reconciled the situation as much as possible?

For me, when I think of the idea of "living life without regrets" DOES take the previous thought into account BUT, in my mind, there is so much more to the equation. Let me explain...

I DO NOT want to come to the end of my life and have a long list of "what ifs" or "I wonder's". Do you understand what I mean?

I don't want to still ask myself, "What IF..." I had done this or that. I don't want to be wondering what would have happened IF I had stepped out - in spite of the fear and the unknown - and followed my heart and/or my dream.

Fear is truly an amazing emotion.

Think about this - fear can make you move like you've never moved before! For me, that type of strong emotion comes if I come across a snake unexpectedly. For example, my wife and I were walking a few years ago and it was just about getting dark when a very small (but still very poisonous) copperhead snake cross right between our feet. I didn't see it but I didn't HAVE to see it when I heard her say, "There's a snake!" Friend, she didn't yell it, she didn't say it with excitement. She said it in a very normal and calm voice. But, for me, it didn't matter! I didn't have to see the snake or know where it was. All I had to do was hear the words, "There's a snake!" and I was IMMEDIATELY "high-stepping" and doing it quickly! (Stop laughing!). Yes, she laughed hard and long at my immediate reaction to the situation but I really had NO CONTROL over my actions. FEAR MOVED ME to MOVE and to do so QUICKLY!

Now, let's look at a different scenario. Thank goodness I've not really had this one happen to me, but let's say I'm walking through the back yard and I come upon an adult copperhead that is coiled up and ready to strike. Very likely the very same emotion of FEAR that caused me to move and move quickly in the previous example would likely cause me to FREEZE in my tracks and make it to where I couldn't move no matter how badly I wanted to.

Same emotion with two different reactions.

Which will you allow into your life?

Will you allow the FEAR of the "unknown" or the FEAR that comes from past failures cause you to "freeze in your tracks" and keep you from making any more progress in your life? Go back and look at the examples I used yesterday about over-protective parents and realize that FEAR can definitely put us in the category of "merely existing" instead of "truly living".

Or, perhaps, you will allow the FEAR of dying with regrets ("what ifs" and "I wonder's") push you forward REGARDLESS of the past failures or the fact that you are not sure of what may happen.

Which ever form of that fear is the greatest will determine your action.

Yes, fear CAN be a great motivator and, if that is what it takes to get you started, then let that fear of dying with regrets get you going.

Then, guess what? You will begin to see that there was nothing to fear in the first place (as far as "the unknown") and you will begin to LIVE life and cease to merely exist.

Oh, I'm sure that we ALL will die with SOME regrets when it comes to an "unfinished list of things to do and see". But, just think of how wonderful it will be to look at that list (even if it's in our head) and KNOW that we sure enjoyed living life as we checked off as many as we could!

HERE'S TO LIFE AND LIVING!

And it all starts right now. Today.

Until next time...

"Be sure to make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike http://www.michaelspillman.com/

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" - Part 2

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?"

(Part 2)

"TRULY LIVING INVOLVES RISK!"

Don't you just love that picture? That little mouse is about to take a risk! But, if you'll notice, he has PREPARED to take that risk (see his helmet?) and he (or maybe "she") has decided that the REWARD (the cheese) is worth the RISK (possible death!).

As the subtitle says, "TRULY LIVING INVOLVES RISK!".

But, are YOU willing to take the risk? If so, are you PREPARED for the risk? And, have you decided if the RISK is actually worth the REWARD?

Only you can answer these questions, right? But, I can try to give you some things to think about as you DO consider your answers.

First of all, I'm thinking that a life void of all risks would definitely fit into the category of "merely existing". What would you say?

You likely have seen this displayed with how some parents "over-protect" their kids. You've seen it, haven't you? I have watched (very uncomfortably, I might add) as some parents have "blocked the way" of their children even coming CLOSE to any possible "risk" as they tried to play.

But there was no playing to be done! Why? Because once all the risk was removed there was actually nothing to do. Think about that.

If you want to learn to ride a bike then understand this...there is RISK involved! There is the risk that you may fall over and crash. Actually, it's not a risk - it's pretty much a certainty. Some parents will not allow their child to entertain this risk and, by doing so, ROB them of the joy of peddling that bike with the wind blowing in their face.

It has been said that, by doing all that we can to eliminate germs around our kids, we have actually weakened our children's immune systems. They actually NEED some germs so that their body can build up a proper defense to them.

I was friends with a young lady when I was in college that, quite honestly, came from a different background than I did. I'm not a "fancy" person... never have been and I don't see myself ever becoming that way. What do I mean by "fancy"?

Now, before I share with you this example, please DO NOT be offended if you enjoy this type of scenario in your life. All I'm saying is this: it's not my style!

Anyway, she was describing to me her "dream house" and she was even "walking" me through the rooms of the house and describing how they were set up and how they looked in her mind. She told me of one room that have very nice furniture in it which consisted of a couple of nice chairs, a couch, coffee table and a few other things. Now, to me, she had already told me about her "living room" that had couches and chairs in it and I asked her what was the purpose of having another room so similar. If I remember right she called this second room a "sitting room" and I, being a bit sarcastic said, "So, what...you just are going to come in here and sit?" to which she replied, "Oh no! No one will sit on this furniture. It's really more to just look at!"

I wish I could tell you that I was polite and tactful but that would be stretching the truth a bit. Remember, I said I was sarcastic and, true to form, I simply laughed at her and told her that the thought of such a thing was just plain silly!

Now again, please don't be offended if you have a "sitting room" that no one is allowed to sit in but, to me, in my "non-fancy" world it just doesn't make much sense.

Why have furniture if no one is allowed to sit on it and use it?

To me, this is a perfect illustration of living a life without risk - you are merely existing. You are "here" but nothing is happening and you are not "using" your life for it's intended purpose.

Just look at that last sentence again and notice the words, "your life". We use the word, "life" to describe what we have as our existence on this earth yet, too many times, we miss the essence found in that word... LIFE!

Think about it as I share with you one other quote from the movie, "Tuck Everlasting" that I will use in my concluding thoughts on this topic in tomorrows thoughts...

"Don't be afraid of death, but rather be afraid of the unlived life."

Until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" (Part 1)

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?"

(Part 1)

If you haven't done so, be sure to check out the video and/or audio version of today's thoughts because I want to do EVERYTHING I can to help you NEVER, EVER forget to LIVE each and every day that you have.

Why?

Because, once gone, the day is gone forever.

So, wouldn't you agree that it's time to start LIVING? Today?

In the movie, "Tuck Everlasting", the dad who has remained the same age for years after drinking from the "fountain of youth" has a discussion with the young lady who stumbled upon the family and their secret.

He talks about how people would flock to this "magic stream" so that they, too, could live forever. But, as he continues on, living forever is not all it's cracked up to be.

He tells the young lady that she will continue to grow and change and experience life as she goes through the different stages of her life and, eventually, she will die having LIVED a full life. This was something that he and his family had missed out on. Nothing ever changed. They never grew older and were limited in the experiences that they could actually participate in due to their immortality.

Here's the point friend: When you are ALIVE and GROWING you are also CHANGING and EXPERIENCING what life has to offer - both good AND bad!

You see, this goes hand in hand with the discussion that we had about "When the Going Gets Tough..." in my last series. Life is made up of good AND rough times, laughter AND tears.

Yes, it would be great (or so we think) to experience nothing but happiness. My guess is that we know not that for which we ask in thinking such a thought.

But, hey, we're human. I know I often wish the tough times would disappear.

But, even in the midst of those tough times, I MUST realize that it is PROOF that I am LIVING, GROWING and CHANGING due to the experiences that come with living a full life.

It's not always easy, is it?

Stop living afraid. Stop living a life of fear or a life that tries so hard to avoid any displeasure that it simply ceases to experience ANYTHING - including life itself.

Stop existing. Start living. Today.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Merely Existing OR Truly Living? (Introduction)

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?"

(Introduction)

My thoughts for the podcast/videocast and blog articles on this topic came from me once again watching the movie "Tuck Everlasting".

You can see more about this movie here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuck_Everlasting_%282002_film%29

In a nutshell a family finds that "living forever" and never getting any older is not always what it is "cracked up" to be. Never experiencing the changes and growth that comes with "normal" LIVING is not always something to be skipped.

Yet, we all struggle with that very thing, don't we? We want to SKIP the hard times (go back to all of the past couple of weeks articles and podcasts on "Tough Times") and just live the good.

Wouldn't it be great if that were really possible?

Perhaps. But, then again, maybe not.

Here's the deal: that is NOT happening anytime soon - if ever - in our lifetime so we might as well figure out how to handle what comes our way as we LIVE life!

Yes, that means the good AND the bad.

Wow, that's not always easy to swallow, is it? As they say, sometimes "the truth hurts"!

Here is a quote from the movie that I used in the podcast/videocast for today that I want to share with you here:

"You don't have to live forever - just be sure to live."

Think about that as you go through your day.

Are you merely EXISTING or have you found out how to TRULY live?

Think about that and join me again tomorrow for the next installment of this thought process.

Until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

http://www.michaelspillman.com/

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Conclusion

"Conclusion: Another 'R' To Consider"

As we conclude the thoughts on the saying, "When the going gets tough the tough get going" I want to encourage you to realize one thing: YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANY TOUGH TIME THAT COMES YOUR WAY!

Yes, some are easier to handle than other and some take longer to work through than others but the key thing to remember is that you CAN make it through!

Even though I have not gone into real "in-depth" discussions on each part of this series, I do believe that you have the FOUNDATION that you need to be able to incorporate them into your life to help you during times of struggle.

Bottom line: You'll never improve your situation until you decide to do something different than what you have done before.

As I said at the beginning of this series, first and foremost - YOU HAVE A CHOICE in anything and everything that you do and you also have a choice when it comes time to facing tough situations in your life.

Stop being a victim! Stop trying to find someone else to blame and TAKE CONTROL of your life and DECIDE NOW that you will move ahead!

This is all part of "The 3 R's of Change" that we discussed in yesterday's article. You NEED to "retreat, regroup and rethink" before you move forward again.

Learning from your mistakes is one thing but it doesn't mean that you have to keep making the SAME mistakes over and over again. Actually, what that would mean is that you didn't learn anything at all!

Now, today, in the conclusion I discuss still yet, another "R". I know. I said that there were only three. Well, actually there ARE "The 3 R's of Change" and this one actually is something that may be needed AFTER you go through the first three.

Remember the example of the football or basketball going to the locke room at halftime? That would be the "retreat" part of the equation.

They may need to wrap some ankles or tend to other injuries or even just rehydrate. That would be PART of the "regroup" part of the equation.

However, "regrouping" and "rethinking" are closely tied together. Part of "regrouping" is allowing yourself the time to actually "rethink" the situation as well. Following the example that we used in yesterday's article, the coaching staff would need to look at what has already happened in the first half and then decide - based on what they have seen and experienced - what their "plan of attack" will be for the second half.

If it has not been working then they will "rethink" what they have been doing and they will MAKE A CHANGE and go out onto the field or court with a different game plan.

But, what if NOTHING seems to work over and over again? (Have you been there? I have!)

If the coaching staff continues to "retreat, rethink and regroup" they may eventually discover that the problem is that one of their positions needs to have a change made! Perhaps they have had a key player get injured OR the player that they have in a certain position just isn't quite getting the job done.

What do they do? They "RECRUIT" someone else to come in with the hopes of "filling the gap" and improving the team.

So, this other "R" that we will discuss briefly today is "RECRUIT".

YOU may need to do some recruiting in your own life! This just simply means that you might want to consider the possibility of getting some additional HELP to aide you in your desire to "break through" your tough situation.

Perhaps you may need to "recruit" some materials into your life that will help give you the positive mindset that you need in order to keep moving forward. This blog along with my podcast and other materials is a great example of what I'm talking about. On my website (http://www.michaelspillman.com/) you can also get a free copy of Napoleon Hill's great book, "Think and Grow Rich" as well as access some materials from the late, great Jim Rohn.

You can go and get some free information from http://www.success.com/ and subscribe to their magazine if you think it would be worth the money to do so.

The main thought here is that you UNDERSTAND the need to "fill the gap" that may exist in your life and the mindset needed in order to persevere during tough times.

You may also need to RECRUIT some friends (but make sure they are friends with a POSITIVE mindset as well and NOT someone with a negative mindset which would be self-defeating) to help you stay on track as you do the same for them.

And, finally, you may need to RECRUIT a "mentor" - someone that you trust and respect and that you will actually LISTEN to as well as take to heart the things that they share with you.

This could be a friend - preferably, at least in my thought, an older person that has already experienced some of life's tough times and has come through - that you know personally OR you may even be able to connect with someone that you have become acquainted with via a book or some other source.

However, the probability of you being able to have someone as a mentor in this second category will likely cost you quite a bit of money. True, many people will say that someone is their "mentor" because they have read many of their books and/or listened to them via mp3, CD or even at live events. I agree that some people "connect" with others in a more powerful way (Jim Rohn is that person for me) and that they may have a POWERFUL impact on a persons life without ever even meeting them - but, to me, this is not what I mean by a "mentor".

When I talk about a mentor, I am talking about someone that you can sit down and talk to face to face.

Why is this so important? Because they can talk to you and discuss with you the SPECIFICS of your situation even as they may change from day to day.

But will you listen? It will do no good at all to "recruit" a mentor if you are not willing to listen and take some advice from this person.

That would be like a football team recruiting a new running back to replace their injured running back and then never putting the guy in the game.

Friend, my guess is that, if at all possible, you NEED to find a "mentor" in your life. I say this regardless of the situation that you find yourself in right now. I have benefited greatly over the years by having someone much older and wiser than myself in my life and to be able to sit down and "pick their brain" on different topics.

Why not try it in and for your life as well?

So, when the going gets tough...

- you have some choices to make (you can either GIVE UP or GET UP and keep moving)

- you probably will need to make some CHANGES from what you have been doing before

- you can incorporate "The 3 R's of Change" to help aide you in this process

- you may need to "RECRUIT" someone older and wiser for some advice

So what?

So what will YOU do now that you have this information? It's always up to you. Others can advise and suggest but YOU are the one that will decide what to do.

I will help any way that I can - please don't hesitate to contact me via the contact tab on the main site.

Until the next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 5

"The 3 R's of Change: Retreat, Regroup, Rethink"

Yesterday we looked at the first "R" of "The 3 R's of Change" when we examined the thoughts behind the word, "RETREAT".

Again, the word "retreat" DOES NOT mean surrender! Do NOT forget that and do NOT confuse that point. It is vitally important to your success as you move on with your decision to "get up and get going" again.

Think of this analogy as we consider "The 3 R's of Change"...

This example is true whether you are talking about college football or the pros (it's also true in basketball as well as other sports) - there is a halftime for a reason.

Halftime gives each team a chance to RETREAT, REGROUP and RETHINK!

When that horn or whistle blows signifying that the first half is over and done with, each team retreats to the locker room. Have they given up? Have they forfeited the game by leaving the court? NO!

They have simply "retreated" so that they can "regroup" and "rethink" before beginning play in the second half of the game.

Now think about this - even if everything has been going in their favor the whole first half of the game the players still need to regroup! Perhaps someone needs to have an ankle taped or they all need to rehydrate and catch their breath before going back at it again.

And, even if everything has been going in their favor the coaches STILL need to "rethink" what has gone on and decide if they want to keep doing the exact same thing (that has been working) OR change it up a little bit to throw the opposing team off of their guard a little bit more.

Now, let's go to the other locker room. Let's go to the locker room where NOTHING seems to have been going in their favor for the first half of the game. They were HAPPY to have the chance to retreat to the locker room before things go any worse! They were HAPPY to have the chance to "regroup" and "rethink" what has been going wrong with their game plan.

They may need to completely scrap their original game plan and go with something different. Why? Because what they have been doing has not been working!

If you know anything about sports then you know what would happen if that team were to go back on the field without having changed their approach. You would hear a chorus of "boos" coming from their fans if they came out and did the exact same thing that WASN'T WORKING in the first half of the game!

And, likely, that coach would end up losing his job. Why? Because it is ridiculous to think that you can keep doing the same "proven-to-fail" methods over and over again and expect anything BUT failure as a result.

So, this may seem like an oversimplified analogy, but it is one that fits what we are talking about in a way that should help us all understand that this is something WE MUST DO if we plan to have different and better results when we face tough times.

Oh, and by the way, I discovered a 4th and very important "R" to go along with the first three - you don't want to miss it!

Until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 4

"The First 'R' of the "3 R's of Change"

As we continue to talk about the fact that, when we face tough times and situations, we likely need to make some changes in our life we must begin to challenge ourselves as to the WHY of our situation.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a tough situation due to circumstances beyond our control such as the tornado example I used in yesterday's article. Even at that - even though we had no control over the tornado - we find ourselves, out of necessity, having to make changes in our life!

But again, if we are going to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves, there are many times that we have to face the fact that WE are to blame for the tough situation in which we find ourselves. Perhaps it's due to poor choices and decisions or due to our own negative attitude towards our job and/or others around us.

But, regardless...WHAT NOW?

Today I want to introduce you to the first "R" of what I like to call "The 3 R's of Change" and that would be...

RETREAT!

Let's get something clear right from the start of this part of the discussion - retreat and surrender are two totally different things!

Surrender means that you have given up and given in. You have ceased to fight.

"Retreat" means that you have decided that you need to withdraw from the situation so that you can "step back" and take another look at what is going on and what you are doing in regards to the situation.

I don't really want to get too detailed on this today because I will be revealing the other 2 "R's" of change tomorrow and they all tie in with each other. However, we can still focus on this part and work on it right away...

YOU MAY NEED TO RETREAT!

Do any of you remember that old commercial where the housewife was surrounded by her hectic surroundings of the day? The kids were fussing and fighting, the dog was barking, the phone was ringing and on and on it went. The commercial ends with her calling out, "Calgon take me away!". It was an advertisement for some sort of bath salt and she longed to get in that hot tub and just soak and GET AWAY from her hectic surroundings.

We ALL need that from time to time and, sometimes, when we are in the middle of tough times we especially need to retreat.

Do NOT misunderstand this point...this is NOT running away from the situation or your problems! Not at all!

I'll clarify this even more in tomorrow's podcast and blog article but it is NOT running away or surrendering.

My friend, "retreat" is just the opposite of giving up or running away.

So, for you today, perhaps you just need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Don't give up and don't run away. That never accomplishes anything, does it? Why? Because the problem or tough situation is still there.

Be sure to join me tomorrow as I revel the other 2 "R's" of change and, until then...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 3

Part 3 - "Why the NEED for CHANGE?"

As we continue to discuss the saying, "When the going gets tough the tough get going" I hope we have all gotten a little bit more comfortable with admitting that this is not always true in our own lives.

Here's the bottom line on this whole thing - we can keep living a LIE instead of being honest with ourselves and, if we choose to do so, we must also understand that NOTHING will EVER change for the better in our lives.

WHY? First and foremost, a life (or really ANYTHING) built on lies cannot stand and prosper.

Period.

So, again, let's get honest about this whole thing and just admit that many times (most? all?) when the going gets tough we DON'T always "get going" the way we'd like to think we should or even could.

So far we've looked at the thoughts of, "When the going gets tough..."

- We have to make some choices! Actually, there is only one of two choices: GIVE UP or GET UP! It is your choice, indeed, and no one else can make it for you. For the rest of the discussions that we are having on this I am moving with the assumption that you have decided to GET up and KEEP MOVING forward!

- We probably need to make some CHANGES! When we find ourselves in a tough situation we probably are going to need to do something DIFFERENT in order to get OUT of this tough situation!

This brings us to today's thoughts shared via the podcast and now, in this article.

WHY THE NEED FOR CHANGE?

First of all, we may need to make some changes out of necessity. I used the example of a tornado coming through and wiping your house out completely. When that happens your whole life changes in an instant!

When something like that happens - something completely out of your control - you will definitely have to make some changes. Like it or not, you are being FORCED to make some changes! Why? Because nothing IS the same as it was and there is no other option but change.

There are times that things happen that are completely out of our control and, even then, we have the choice to either give up or get up and keep fighting. In situations like this (beyond our control) the change HAS taken place whether we wanted it to or not. How we respond to that change is now up to us.

Now, sometimes we find ourselves in tough situations because of something WE have done! Oh, we don't like to talk about that, now do we? In the podcast I mentioned the need to get brutally honest with ourselves on this one. It is so easy to always blame someone or something else for our tough situations when, sometimes, it is our OWN fault that we find ourselves in a tough situation.

Here's a clue: if you find yourself in tough situations over and over and over again, it is likely something that YOU are doing - or NOT doing - that is putting yourself in that situation!

I'm sure you've all heard that definition of insanity that says something along the lines of "trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the true definition of insanity." Makes sense, doesn't it?

Here's the example I used in the podcast for today: Let's say the "tough situation" is represented by a brick wall in front of you. It has stopped your progress and you have decided that you are NOT going to give up and that you are going to MOVE AHEAD past this obstacle to keep moving on to your goals and dreams.

You have decided that you are going to go THROUGH the brick wall using brute force. And, being a man and taking to heart that your wife has told you that you have a hard head, you have decided that you will USE your head as a battering ram.

Now, isn't it interesting that "using your head" in that sentence actually means that you are NOT using your head (as in, "not thinking clearly")?

Tell me friend, how long will it take - how many head bangs against that brick wall - before you begin to understand that what you are doing IS not working and WILL not work? How long will it take before you realize that you need to CHANGE your approach and do something differently?

THAT'S what we're talking about.

In the next article we are going to discuss the "Three R's" of change that we may want to consider.

Until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day!" (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 2

"When the Going Gets Tough" - Part 2

As I continue with my thoughts on this topic of, "When the Going Gets Tough..." I do want to take just a moment and look at the thoughts we have already shared together to this point.

FIRST - The fact that things GET TOUGH is just a part of life! I'm sorry to burst your bubble if you didn't already know this but, if you've been lucky enough to live a "tough-free" life up to this point, then you need to prepare yourself because, sooner or later, THEY WILL GET TOUGH! Again, it's just a part of life and the "human experience".

SECOND - The ending part of this phrase, "When the going gets tough the tough get going." isn't always true for us, is it? Sure, we'd love it to be true any and every time we face touch challenges in our lives - but we just don't! And, because of that, many times we beat ourselves up with guilt because we feel week and inferior. Why? Because we are either trying to live up to someone else's expectations of us OR we are falling short of our own expectations in this area. Bottom line: we don't always handle things or face things the way we (or others) think that we should.

THIRD - We looked at one "ending" to this phrase by saying, "When the going gets tough you have to make some CHOICES!" And, in my book, you have only two choices - GIVE UP or GET UP. You can either roll up into a ball and give up OR you can keep fighting ahead with the attitude that you will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP! Hey, even that thought is kind of "rah rah", isn't it? I mean that thought is powerful but it doesn't always live up to the hype. I think it is because of the "image" we have in our minds associated with the idea of "never, ever giving up". But, regardless, the choice is your and you are currently following one of the two paths in your life. Which path are YOU following currently?

AND NOW FOR TODAY'S THOUGHTS - "When the going gets tough you probably need to make some CHANGES!"

This goes along with the "image" I mentioned in point 3 of this article that we often have in our minds when we think about the fact that we will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP!

I applaud your decision to never give up! I SUPPORT your decision to never give up! It is a decision that we all MUST make IF we really ever plan to move forward and make any progress in any area of our lives.

But, if you find yourself continually in difficult situations and things aren't changing the way that you think that they should then, perhaps, you need to make a CHANGE in the way you are approaching/attacking the situation.

We'll talk more about this in the next part of this series but, for now, just consider the "image" of NEVER GIVING UP that you may have in your head.

Is it an image of just pounding away and hitting "the problem" full on - head on - repeatedly until it caves in to your might?

How's that working out for you? (And I say that with a little smile on my face, by the way.)

Maybe it's time we made a change in our approach.

Think about it and, until next time...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the Going Gets Tough..." (Part 1)

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going!"

Wow, wouldn't it be great IF that were always true in our own lives? But, let's be honest, it's NOT always true in our own lives, is it?

I was reading an article a few minutes ago and someone made the comment on "self-help" books, (and I quote loosely) "Most of these books work if you do the work. Of course, if you do the work, you don't need the books in the first place."

I think I understand what this person means and, on one level, I agree with them.

But, at the same time, I also find this idea that we can do it all on our own! And, that goes back to that idea of the quote being used for this series of podcasts and blogs (too, don't forget I'm also video taping my podcast - go to the main site to hook up to my YouTube channel - www.MichaelSpillman.com).

It would be GREAT if we could always just blast right through any and all obstacles that get in our way!

But, honestly, we're simply not made that way.

What do I mean? Simply put: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

Isn't that true? As hard as some people may try, it's like the old quote, "No man is an island." Even though people give us headaches and heartaches from time to time the fact remains: WE NEED EACH OTHER!

So, that's one reason I am so thankful that you are reading this. I hope that I'm able to help you with the mindset necessary to keep moving forward. And, let me say this - I NEED YOU and am ENCOURAGED by you when you leave comments and encourage me by letting me know that this helps you even in some small way.

So, bottom line, we don't always GET GOING when things get tough.

That being said, here's the first "end of the quote" I want to use for today:

"When the going gets tough...WE HAVE CHOICES TO MAKE!"

In my opinion we have only TWO choices when things get tough. We can either GIVE UP or we can choose to GET UP!

Oh, I know you've head me say that before - but it's still true and it applies to this situation.

When you get knocked to your knees it's easy to "just stay down" and to try to avoid any more hurt or struggle. It's easy to give up thinking that by doing so the struggle will either ease up or just go away.

FALSE!

You can be assured that it WON'T go away or ease up just because we have chosen to "throw in the towel". There's more to be said on this part and I will be sharing thoughts on this throughout this little series (as well as on the podcast - be sure to listen to them because I don't use a script to make sure that I say the EXACT same thing there and here both!).

But for now, let's all realize that GIVING UP is one decision that you could make when things get tough.

The other? GET UP and KEEP MOVING forward REGARDLESS of the tough situation that is invading your life for the moment.

Don't miss those last three words..."for the moment".

Here's one thing you can count on when it comes to tough times: Tough times come and tough times go.

And, yeah, then they come again. But, guess what? Then they also "go" again.

It's simply part of life and part of BEING ALIVE!

We'll be talking more about what this means for each of us but keep this in mind - YOU ARE CHOOSING A PATH EACH AND EVERY DAY.

Which path are YOU choosing? The path that is part of the "giving up" choice or the path that is part of the "getting up" choice?

Hey, let's get real and honest here. You already know which path you are choosing, don't you?

And, too, some days we choose one path and, on other days we choose the other one.

That being so, aren't you glad we have each other to help out along the way? I know I am!

And I am THANKFUL for you!

As always, "Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike