Thank you for staying with me through this series on things that we all need to give up. I know that, for many of you, this has not been an easy series to go through and, I also know that others have simply dismissed this whole thing with criticism.
How do I know these things? Because PEOPLE are reading this and, that being said, PEOPLE are not that hard to "read" and figure out! Some see the issue and understand that it is something that they need to overcome and give up. They struggle and don't like to admit that this is true in and for their lives, BUT they realize the need to give it up and begin to work toward doing so. And, as I mentioned at the start of this series, there are those of you that have used your "criticism" as an EXCUSE as to why you won't give these things up in your life. Some of you aren't willing to accept this as a reality in your life and, that being so, you refuse to take action since you refuse to accept this as a problem.
Let's go ahead and get something else out here at the start, shall we?
People pleaser's (those who constantly try to please everyone else) are the result of all of the other things that we have already discussed in this series. Think about it: If you struggle with the first seven things on this list then, the odds are, you are also a "people pleaser".
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When you doubt and criticize yourself in the ways already listed, you begin to find your "identity" in pleasing other people. To some extent, you have no real value on your own...it's what you can do for others that becomes "who you are".
You become a chameleon...changing and adapting to be whatever/whoever someone else wants or needs you to be for them. And, when you have done this so many times, you begin to forget who YOU really are.
Once you begin to give these other seven things up in your life, you begin to discover that who YOU are matters. You realize that, although "getting along" with others is a good thing, the most important thing is to "BE" YOU and allow YOU to flourish and show through in every thing that you do. At that point, if others like it and like you - GREAT! If not, then, so what?
YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE!
I have a close friend that has always been a "people pleaser". From what I have learned from them, they learned this tactic early in their life and they still struggle with it today. The tactic? They learned that, basically, you do what everyone else wants and they are happy. The problem? My friend's own likes or dislikes didn't matter and, after a while they began to realize that they were not living THEIR life...they were living the lives of everyone else. As a matter of fact, even in their dealings with me, I have helped them discover that many answers they give are NOT their answers. What do I mean by that? They give answers - even to me - that are answers that they think I want to hear.
Can you relate to that at all? If so, you are a people pleaser and you need to give this up as soon as possible. This, like the others, is not easy but - one day at a time and with determination - it CAN be done.
Here's a bit of encouragement: When you start giving up these things (notice I didn't say when you have accomplished it all but, instead, when you START) you will find that you begin to believe in yourself. When you begin to believe in yourself, you become confident and not as concerned with getting approval from everyone else. You will also find that people like and respect YOU for being YOU and, in return, the need to please everyone else will begin to disappear.
Believe me, it's true.
I hope you have enjoyed this series but, even more importantly, I hope this series has been helpful in getting you to give up things on this list that you need to give up once and for all.
Until next time, always be sure to...
"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"
Mike
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