It is absolutely necessary for you to read Part 1 BEFORE you get into this article. Get it? Got it? GOOD! I "set the table" for this continuation of those thoughts found in that article.
This part is going to be a little bit different than I had originally planned to incorporate into this section on "Relationships". I do that. My mind says, "Hey, let's delve into THIS a little more" and, next thing you know, I've started making my article longer than planned.
I did record a podcast yesterday that combines both parts 1 and 2 of this part on "Relationships". You can find that podcast HERE.
Right off, let me emphasize that I am NOT an "expert relationship counselor" or anything like that. I have done quite a bit of marriage counseling from when I was in ministry and I also have 39 years of marriage that brings with it a lot of "first-hand" knowledge in this area.
Again, be sure to go back and read the first part of this series before going any further. This is simply another suggestion that you may want to take a look at and consider in the area of doing something to improve your relationship with your spouse.
KEY THING TO CONSIDER: Should you go through the information for this "worksheet" by yourself or with your spouse? Here's what I suggest...
If your relationship is currently in a "contentious state" (problems) then I suggest that you do this on your own and be completely honest in all of your answers. Make sure you understand that this exercise is an "inward focusing" exercise. In other words, this is not something for you to do to "point fingers" at your spouse and play the "blame game". If you are not willing to look inwardly during this exercise then, friend, I suggest that you just move on and do some serious thinking about how serious you really are about your relationship.
Now then, IF the two of you are working together on improving your relationship then, you may consider doing this together as long as you still understand that this is an inward-looking exercise and not something designed to "lash out" or try to hurt the other.
So, here we go and I do suggest that you listen to the podcast on this as well. The verbal along with the written many times make things a little clearer and easier to understand.
Take a few minutes, get out a piece of paper and divide it into 3 columns. First, write down on the left hand side of your paper (1st column) all of the things that you remember about your spouse that caused you to "fall in love" with them. Then, make a "middle column" and simply answer "yes" or no" to the question: Is this the same? Are those traits still there? (or however you want to word it). NOTICE: I did not say do you FEEL the same way about that...I asked if those traits were actually still there. BIG DIFFERENCE. Then, make a 3rd column and answer the question if the "change" that has supposedly taken place is due to your spouse or you. In other words, IF there was a change, WHY was there a change?
Here's an example I put together just to help you out. Make this YOURS and make sure it applies to YOUR situation and, again, MAKE SURE YOU ARE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF!