So, you should already know what I'm about to say as you get ready to read this article...have you already read parts 1 and 2? If not, go do that first. If you have, then welcome to part 3!
And, while you are at it, be sure to check out the podcast by clicking HERE.
In this article we are going to look at our "Project 141" expansion application to the area of relationships and, more specifically, your relationships with family, friends, coworkers and even your boss. Yep. Even your boss.
I'm also going to use the exact same graphic that I used in part 1 of this section when I discussed your relationship with your spouse/mate. Here it is:
Here's the kicker, friend...THESE 3 QUESTIONS can be (should be) applied (considered and acted upon) to ANY relationship that you value. Yes, even your relationships with your coworkers and your boss. "Wait a minute, Mike, I wouldn't say that I 'value' my relationships with my coworkers and, for sure, I'm not sure I'd say that about my boss!"
Let's think about that for a moment. When you go back and reconsider the importance of guarding and protecting your mind (personal development) and, along with that, you throw into the mix a group of people that you likely spend more time with than anyone else...shouldn't you "value" that relationship to the point of at least wanting to make them the best possible? Do you REALLY want to "add on" to the negativity that wants to consume you ever day as it is?
And, when you consider that your "boss" or manager or whoever it is that is in a position to promote you or fire you, is a part of your "work life", wouldn't it make sense to try to make that relationship as positive and productive as possible?
I've shared this example before but I feel it needs to be shared again in this discussion. Years ago my wife went to work for a store and was warned on her first day to "stay clear" of the assistant manager because she was grouchy and negative. Yes, on day one. Little did those that said those things know that, for my wife, they simply presented a challenge for her. Her thought was, "I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make her (the assistant manager) smile each day that I'm here at work".
And, take a wild guess what happened...she accomplished her goal of putting a smile on that assistant managers face every day that my wife worked with her. No, it was not an immediate change but, day after day, when my wife would say something positive to her with a HUGE smile on her face, the assistant manager had no choice but to smile back with a positive response. And that's not all. To the shock of all of her coworkers (who were already in shock at what all had happened), this assistant manager hand-knitted a "blanket or throw" for her and told her how much she appreciated her.
WOW! Talk about my wife doing something DAILY to improve her relationship with this assistant manager. What an incredible change!
I'm not telling you that this will always be the type of reaction that you can expect but, at the same time, I can pretty much promise you that there WILL be some positive change and improvement in that relationship.
So again, regardless of whether you are talking about friends, family, coworkers or, yes, even your "boss" it is important to apply these same 3 questions on a DAILY basis:
1. What do I do TODAY to IMPROVE this relationship?
2. What do I do TODAY to BE INVOLVED in this relationship?
3 What do I do TODAY to make ______________ glad that they are a part of this relationship?
Notice that, in all 3 of these questions, the question is NOT, "What do THEY do..." but, rather, "What do I do". This is a key ingredient in this "exercise" - this must be turned "inward" and applied to YOU taking the action and not waiting on the other person and/or blaming the other person. That is about what YOU need to do and what YOU need to do TODAY.
1. How do you improve or "make better" your relationship with your friends, family, coworkers and your boss/employer? How can you be a better friend, family member, coworker and employee?
2. What do you need to do to make sure you are "involved" (engaged) in these same relationships? For example, at work, are you there just to "get the check" or are you involved/engaged in a way that shows you are dedicated to doing your absolute best at whatever your position may be there. Are you one that constantly whines and complains or are you one that, again, is focused on "turning off" the negativity that surrounds them and is focused on doing their job to the best of their ability?
3. What do you do TODAY to make (fill in the blank) GLAD that they are a part of this relationship with you? Are your friends - especially your really close friends - GLAD that you are their friend? Are you "involved and engaged" in that friendship or are you only "connected" when you want/need something? What are the "needs" that your family has at this stage of your life. Are you fully engaged in whatever role that might be and are they glad that you are a part of your family? And, yes, even with your coworkers and your "boss"...do they like to see you come into a room or are they happier when you leave? Is your employer GLAD that they hired you or do they regret that move?
Do NOT take the power behind these 3 questions lightly! They ARE, indeed, POWERFUL but only if you take them seriously and honestly answer and apply what you need to do.