Project 141: RELAIONSHIPS (Part 3: Family, Friends, CoWorkers)

 

So, you should already know what I'm about to say as you get ready to read this article...have you already read parts 1 and 2? If not, go do that first. If you have, then welcome to part 3!

And, while you are at it, be sure to check out the podcast by clicking HERE.

In this article we are going to look at our "Project 141" expansion application to the area of relationships and, more specifically, your relationships with family, friends, coworkers and even your boss. Yep. Even your boss.

I'm also going to use the exact same graphic that I used in part 1 of this section when I discussed your relationship with your spouse/mate. Here it is:

 Here's the kicker, friend...THESE 3 QUESTIONS can be (should be) applied (considered and acted upon) to ANY relationship that you value. Yes, even your relationships with your coworkers and your boss.  "Wait a minute, Mike, I wouldn't say that I 'value' my relationships with my coworkers and, for sure, I'm not sure I'd say that about my boss!"

Let's think about that for a moment. When you go back and reconsider the importance of guarding and protecting your mind (personal development) and, along with that, you throw into the mix a group of people that you likely spend more time with than anyone else...shouldn't you "value" that relationship to the point of at least wanting to make them the best possible? Do you REALLY want to "add on" to the negativity that wants to consume you ever day as it is?

And, when you consider that your "boss" or manager or whoever it is that is in a position to promote you or fire you, is a part of your "work life", wouldn't it make sense to try to make that relationship as positive and productive as possible?

I've shared this example before but I feel it needs to be shared again in this discussion. Years ago my wife went to work for a store and was warned on her first day to "stay clear" of the assistant manager because she was grouchy and negative. Yes, on day one. Little did those that said those things know that, for my wife, they simply presented a challenge for her. Her thought was, "I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make her (the assistant manager) smile each day that I'm here at work". 

And, take a wild guess what happened...she accomplished her goal of putting a smile on that assistant managers face every day that my wife worked with her. No, it was not an immediate change but, day after day, when my wife would say something positive to her with a HUGE smile on her face, the assistant manager had no choice but to smile back with a positive response. And that's not all. To the shock of all of her coworkers (who were already in shock at what all had happened), this assistant manager hand-knitted a "blanket or throw" for her and told her how much she appreciated her. 

WOW! Talk about my wife doing something DAILY to improve her relationship with this assistant manager. What an incredible change!

I'm not telling you that this will always be the type of reaction that you can expect but, at the same time, I can pretty much promise you that there WILL be some positive change and improvement in that relationship.

So again, regardless of whether you are talking about friends, family, coworkers or, yes, even your "boss" it is important to apply these same 3 questions on a DAILY basis:

     1. What do I do TODAY to IMPROVE this relationship?

     2. What do I do TODAY to BE INVOLVED in this relationship?

     3 What do I do TODAY to make ______________ glad that they are a part of this relationship?

Notice that, in all 3 of these questions, the question is NOT, "What do THEY do..." but, rather, "What do I do". This is a key ingredient in this "exercise" - this must be turned "inward" and applied to YOU taking the action and not waiting on the other person and/or blaming the other person. That is about what YOU need to do and what YOU need to do TODAY.

1. How do you improve or "make better" your relationship with your friends, family, coworkers and your boss/employer? How can you be a better friend, family member, coworker and employee?

2. What do you need to do to make sure you are "involved" (engaged) in these same relationships? For example, at work, are you there just to "get the check" or are you involved/engaged in a way that shows you are dedicated to doing your absolute best at whatever your position may be there. Are you one that constantly whines and complains or are you one that, again, is focused on "turning off" the negativity that surrounds them and is focused on doing their job to the best of their ability?

3. What do you do TODAY to make (fill in the blank) GLAD that they are a part of this relationship with you? Are your friends - especially your really close friends - GLAD that you are their friend? Are you "involved and engaged" in that friendship or are you only "connected" when you want/need something? What are the "needs" that your family has at this stage of your life. Are you fully engaged in whatever role that might be and are they glad that you are a part of your family? And, yes, even with your coworkers and your "boss"...do they like to see you come into a room or are they happier when you leave? Is your employer GLAD that they hired you or do they regret that move?

Do NOT take the power behind these 3 questions lightly! They ARE, indeed, POWERFUL but only if you take them seriously and honestly answer and  apply what you need to do.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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RELATIONSHIPS: It's Up to Me

In discussing the fact that our future is dependent upon us ("If it's to be, it's up to me"), I also pointed out that this future - OUR future - is greatly dependent upon our RELATIONSHIPS.

 

As a matter of fact, this whole series will "spin off" off of what we do with our RELATIONSHIPS.

 

That being said, I obviously believe that relationships matter. I believe that they matter to the point that, pretty much everything that we encounter and undertake, is connected to our relationships.

 

How we treat people says a lot about "who" we are, wouldn't you agree? The ability to treat others with honor and respect - regardless of their social standing or what they may be able to do for us - is an ability that every employer is looking for in those that they want working for their company.

 

If you are married and, especially if you have children, these relationships SHOULD matter to the point of greatly influencing what you do, why you do it and how you approach it. Too, having "solid" relationships in this area will do wonders for your "well-being" and mindset as you go to the workplace to do your job.

 

Your relationships with your coworkers will greatly determine your upward movement in the company for which you work. Those in charge will take notice of those that have the ability to work as a team and with a team, AS a team member. They will also notice that you understand the importance of the team and that you are not as focused on your own personal achievement.

 

Even your relationships with those that you come across away from you job matters in this way. How? It is a reflection of how you treat others...plain and simple.

 

Friend, you can't fake this stuff! You may need to work on yourself to make this a natural part of "who" you are, but it can be done.

 

Appreciate others. Encourage others. Build others up and see what happens.

 

And, as you do so, always be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

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Protect Your JOY

Oh, they're out there. No matter how "safe" you think you are, they are still out there and they are waiting to steal from you.

 

I'm talking about the people and the thoughts around you every single day that are out to steal your JOY.

 

Sometimes the thoughts are there because we have allowed them to be there. And, there are times that the thoughts are there because of people (joy robbers) that have been a part of putting them there.

 

Just as you lock your doors at night and maybe even set an alarm, so you should be as dedicated to protecting your mind and mindset from the negativity that would steal away your JOY.

 

The series that I just completed in the last podcast speaks to this very thing. There are things that we MUST be doing in order to keep focused on what CAN BE rather than what IS. Many times we allow our current circumstances (even if it's only an hour or two out of our day) to keep us from looking BEYOND what is, to what CAN be.

 

And, in the process, when we get "bogged down" in the struggles, we may lose our joy.

 

And, friend, let's just be real here for a moment, o.k.? There are also people that seem to get THEIR joy from stealing YOUR joy, right?

 

Some are acquaintances that cross your path most every day and then there are those that are supposed to be closest to you. The ones closest to you are the ones that seem to hurt the most because you feel (rightly so) that THEY are the ones that should be your strongest advocates instead of being some of the ones that try to steal your joy.

 

But friend, you can stop it and you can prevent it from happening. Yes, you can PROTECT your joy!

 

Unlike the graphic above, we cannot allow others to cause us to just "lock up tight" and "shut down". Too many simply stop living as a way to keep from getting hurt. In reality, that is a direct way that you are being hurt and allowing others to hurt you more than they should.

 

Protect your mind and your joy? Absolutely! But what is required is for you to guard your mind by what you allow INTO your mind. THIS is what determines your mindset.

 

Do you want to really stop "joy robbers" in their tracks? Be DETERMINED that you will not allow any one or anything to stop you from being joyful today! That's right. I know it may sound too simple or impossible but, friend, it is not!

 

I've shared with you before how my wife has faced such issues in the workplace but was determined to not allow this as part of her experience. She REFUSED to give in to that mindset and made a decision that SHE would have an impact on THEM instead.

 

And it has worked every time.

 

It's YOUR mind, YOUR mindset and YOUR joy. Protect it, preserve it and promote it and see what begins to happen in your life.

 

And, as you do so, always be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

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Got Passion?

 



If you're like me, when you read this quote from Dave Ramsey (he is an AWESOME guy!) you want to agree with it but, at the same time, you can't figure out how to make an income from your "passion". Anyone else out there with me?

 

It's absolutely true! As it's been said before, "Find something that you LOVE to do and get paid for it and you'll never 'work' a day of your life!"

 

I can hear someone say, "I love ice cream but I don't think I can make a living due to my love of ice cream!"  Well, that may be stretching it a bit BUT, at the same time, I think it CAN be used on your path to success!

 

Huh?

 

Stay with me here...

 

What I'd like to suggest is that you bring your "passion" to your work REGARDLESS of what you do for work and whether or not you love what you do or not.

 

Perhaps your passion is making people smile and feel better about their day - take that passion to work with you and watch what happens. Make it a habit of using that passion at your place of work and see what changes take place in your life and the life of those that are around you while at work.

 

Perhaps your passion is working with children in your town or city. Maybe you can bring that passion to your workplace, get your co-workers on board because you ARE so passionate about it and get them involved - along with your boss - in getting your company to help raise money in some fun and involved way!

Do you think that, MAYBE, those in management might notice your ability to sell an idea and get others involved?

 

Now, about that ice cream... What if you took that passion to work by picking out one person per week to reward with some ice cream? Come up with some fun "award" or "achievement" and go with it. I wonder what will happen to your workplace environment by sharing your passion for ice cream?

 

I'm telling you, friend....BRING YOUR PASSION TO WORK (and take it with you everywhere you go) and see if it will, indeed, become a part of your "path to success".

 

As an added note, I found it very interesting that, after I recorded the podcast version of this topic earlier today (DO go listen to the podcast via one of the two links below) I ran across an article about a 12 year old "kidpreneur" (he started when he was 9 years old) that has a passion of his own about bow ties. That's right, bow ties!

Here's a quote from the article that you can read here: "...His advice for other young entrepreneurs? 'Figure out what you like doing and then figure out how to make money doing it.' "

 

Love and live your passion. Make it a part of your everyday life and incorporate it into everything that you do both at work and away from work and I believe that your path to success WILL become clear!

 

And, as you do that, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

His advice for other young entrepreneurs? “Figure out what you like doing and then figure out how to make money doing it.” - See more at: http://www.success.com/article/mos-bringing-back-bows#sthash.ElD8wubw.vtA0bSzJ.dpuf

His advice for other young entrepreneurs? “Figure out what you like doing and then figure out how to make money doing it.” - See more at: http://www.success.com/article/mos-bringing-back-bows#sthash.ElD8wubw.vtA0bSzJ.dpuf

His advice for other young entrepreneurs? “Figure out what you like doing and then figure out how to make money doing it.” - See more at: http://www.success.com/article/mos-bringing-back-bows#sthash.ElD8wubw.vtA0bSzJ.dpuf

 

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Life is about...

There are many thoughts and sayings about "the meaning of life" that have been around for centuries and are still discussed and debated even today.

 

I don't think anyone could argue the words found in the graphic attached to this blog, do you?

 

"Life is about moving on, accepting changes & looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete."

 

Life is a "forward-moving adventure" in my opinion. Life continuously moves FORWARD whether you want it to or not. The clock keeps ticking, the calendar keeps getting marked off one day at a time and the page flips over one month at a time.

 

That being true, we must find ways to KEEP MOVING ON! We cannot live in the past. It's gone. Forever.

 

We must move on.                                "Like" us on Facebook!

 

Sometimes we don't want to ESPECIALLY when we are facing FORCED movement due to changes that take place.

 

Here's the deal, people that are successful in life (relationships, jobs, goals, etc.) have learned to ADAPT to change because they KNOW that one thing is certain - CHANGE WILL ALWAYS COME.

 

Change CAN be exciting! Read the graphic and notice that, along with accepting changes, we can actually LOOK FORWARD TO what lies ahead. Don't be afraid! Don't get paralyzed by what you can't control or don't know about what's to come. Let that feeling awaken you to the fact that you are ALIVE and that you CAN accept and adapt to the changes that come and go during your lifetime.

 

Doing so WILL make you stronger. It will also make you COMPLETE.

 

You are stronger than you think you are and you are not the same person that you were a few years ago. YOU ARE STRONGER AND BETTER!

 

And, friend, that's just awesome!

 

Think about it, embrace all that comes your way because you can handle whatever comes you're way. And, as you live your life with such confidence be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

There is HOPE!

"As long as there is breath, there is hope!"

It's hard to believe, but it has been three years since I first began doing my podcast back on March 2, 2009. And, the very first podcast I did was focused on another of my catch phrases that I use as often as I can - it's the phrase that you see just below the image above... "As long as there is breath, there is hope!" 

What message is more needed today - RIGHT NOW - than a message of hope? We live in a world - not just in our own country, but the WORLD - that seems to increasingly lose sight of hope. Desperation, depression, discouragement, doubt and defeat. This is NOT the life of a winner and it is NOT the life that was designed for you to live!

I do believe that even in the midst of dire situations one can find HOPE. I do believe that it is imperative that one DOES find hope in such situations!

Several years ago I was in a defeated state of mind. I had applied for several jobs that I was qualified to fill and usually had not problem in getting. However, I kept running into roadblocks and, at the time, I had no idea why. One night after receiving another phone call telling me that I did not get the position applied for, I lay in bed with tears in my eyes and told my wife, "I have lost all hope." That's right - I was WAY down and honestly felt that all hope was gone. Thank God for women like my wife who replied, "Mike, if we lose hope, what do we have?"

THAT'S RIGHT! If we lose hope, what do we have? I can answer that for you - NOTHING!

This is why people that feel that they have lost all hope many times feel that they have nothing to live for and, often, attempt and sometimes succeed in taking their own lives.

LISTEN TO ME - as long as you are ALIVE...as long as you are BREATHING - THERE IS HOPE! Regardless of how "dark" things may seem and no matter how "hopeless" your life and situation may seem. God has given you the ability to THINK, REASON and ACT upon those thoughts and your reasoning.

Know this - it likely will NOT be a speedy process but you CAN and MUST understand that you CAN and MUST start taking steps TODAY to make changes in your life. It may be simply making changes on what you allow into your mind - get rid of the negative and replace it with the positive! It may be you changing the way you interact with your family or your coworkers or whoever it may be TODAY. Start TODAY! Don't try to do it all at once, but start making changes NOW.

You are breathing, you are alive and you are ABLE to do what it takes to change the direction that your life is headed at this time. "As long as there is breath there is HOPE!"

There is likely someone out there waiting for YOU to impact their life in a powerful and positive way. Who? I have no idea. When? Again, I have no idea. But here's the key - neither do YOU! But you never know who you will come into contact with that needed your smile or kind word.

Dictionary.com lists this as the first definition for the word "hope" - "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best".

Whatever you do, NEVER GIVE UP! Whatever you do, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!

Why? Once again, without hope, you have nothing and, my friend, you have EVERYTHING to live for, to work for, to love for when you have HOPE!

Get it? Got it? Good!

Thanks for being a part of Future You University - especially those of you that have been with me over the past three years. And, for those of you that are "newcomers" - I encourage you to stay with me and let me hear from you. I love getting feedback from my readers/listeners.

Whatever you do, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Taking Care of Business NOW!

NOW!

Some of you may think of Elvis when you hear the phrase, "Taking Care of Business" while others (like myself) think of the song by Bachman Turner Overdrive (yeah, BTO sings TCB...I just love all of these abbreviations).

And, you may be wondering what this has to do with our current discussion on LOVING WHAT YOU DO. Hang with me here...it's an easy leap on this one.

First of all, remember, we have been talking about a video featuring a man that worked as a janitor when he won the state lottery. What did he do? He kept right on working his janitor job because of his love for the track program and his desire to donate money to help build a new track for the school. He had a PURPOSE and a PASSION for what he was doing so it didn't matter to him that he didn't HAVE to keep working as the janitor. He WANTED to!

That is when you know you are at your "dream job". When you don't HAVE to do it but you do it anyway.

Now tell me, would being a JANITOR ever have been on your list of answers as being anyone's "dream job"? Likely not. But it brings on the main point of this whole discussion.

Here it is: it doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks about what you are doing or what they think you SHOULD be doing. It's up to YOU to live your dream, whatever it may be.

Now then, most of us think of something far more elegant when we think of our dream job, don't we? But, again, let me refer to a question I asked early on in this series that SHOULD give you a clear view of your "dream job" - If money were not an issue, what would you be doing?

Well? Surely by now you have come up with an answer to this question if you have been following this series.

But the curve ball comes when we look at where we WANT TO BE and then at where WE ARE and we don't like what we see. The "wanna' be" is a long ways away from our "what is".

What then?

Yesterday I suggested that it might be possible to learn to love what you are doing even if you are not doing what you love (your "dream job"). I hope you have thought about that.

On yesterday's podcast I encouraged you to really try to brainstorm and think of HOW you can approach your current job with excitement rather than dread. WHAT CAN YOU DO to approach your day and your job with a challenge so that you get out of the rut of whining and complaining?

One thing that may be absolutely necessary is to change who you hang around with at the office!

BREAK FREE from those that do nothing but whine and complain but also never lift a finger to try to improve their position or make any attempt to actually do their best for the company.

How many times have you heard someone say something like this (and YOU may have been one of the ones to say it!): "Well, I'm not doing one thing more than I have to! If I don't HAVE to do it then I'm not going to do it!"

May I be blunt? What a loser mentality!

What if you decide to TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS RIGHT NOW where you are TODAY?

What if you decided to put 100% of your effort into doing the very BEST job that you can RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?

What if you did this today, tomorrow and EVERY day from now on?

What do you think would happen?

I can tell what would happen - THINGS WOULD CHANGE!

You don't need me to tell you what might change for you, do you? Take a moment and write down everything you can think of that would change for you if you adopted this approach.

Why not STOP dreading the day at work and why not TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS when you go to work today and start learning to love what you do (which is simply loving the fact that you are living up to your potential!) until you get to the point that you can finally have the "job of your dreams" and do what you love.

Thing is, you just might find out that this "dream job" was right under your nose all along.

Think about it.

And, until next time, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com