Project 141: RELAIONSHIPS (Part 3: Family, Friends, CoWorkers)

 

So, you should already know what I'm about to say as you get ready to read this article...have you already read parts 1 and 2? If not, go do that first. If you have, then welcome to part 3!

And, while you are at it, be sure to check out the podcast by clicking HERE.

In this article we are going to look at our "Project 141" expansion application to the area of relationships and, more specifically, your relationships with family, friends, coworkers and even your boss. Yep. Even your boss.

I'm also going to use the exact same graphic that I used in part 1 of this section when I discussed your relationship with your spouse/mate. Here it is:

 Here's the kicker, friend...THESE 3 QUESTIONS can be (should be) applied (considered and acted upon) to ANY relationship that you value. Yes, even your relationships with your coworkers and your boss.  "Wait a minute, Mike, I wouldn't say that I 'value' my relationships with my coworkers and, for sure, I'm not sure I'd say that about my boss!"

Let's think about that for a moment. When you go back and reconsider the importance of guarding and protecting your mind (personal development) and, along with that, you throw into the mix a group of people that you likely spend more time with than anyone else...shouldn't you "value" that relationship to the point of at least wanting to make them the best possible? Do you REALLY want to "add on" to the negativity that wants to consume you ever day as it is?

And, when you consider that your "boss" or manager or whoever it is that is in a position to promote you or fire you, is a part of your "work life", wouldn't it make sense to try to make that relationship as positive and productive as possible?

I've shared this example before but I feel it needs to be shared again in this discussion. Years ago my wife went to work for a store and was warned on her first day to "stay clear" of the assistant manager because she was grouchy and negative. Yes, on day one. Little did those that said those things know that, for my wife, they simply presented a challenge for her. Her thought was, "I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make her (the assistant manager) smile each day that I'm here at work". 

And, take a wild guess what happened...she accomplished her goal of putting a smile on that assistant managers face every day that my wife worked with her. No, it was not an immediate change but, day after day, when my wife would say something positive to her with a HUGE smile on her face, the assistant manager had no choice but to smile back with a positive response. And that's not all. To the shock of all of her coworkers (who were already in shock at what all had happened), this assistant manager hand-knitted a "blanket or throw" for her and told her how much she appreciated her. 

WOW! Talk about my wife doing something DAILY to improve her relationship with this assistant manager. What an incredible change!

I'm not telling you that this will always be the type of reaction that you can expect but, at the same time, I can pretty much promise you that there WILL be some positive change and improvement in that relationship.

So again, regardless of whether you are talking about friends, family, coworkers or, yes, even your "boss" it is important to apply these same 3 questions on a DAILY basis:

     1. What do I do TODAY to IMPROVE this relationship?

     2. What do I do TODAY to BE INVOLVED in this relationship?

     3 What do I do TODAY to make ______________ glad that they are a part of this relationship?

Notice that, in all 3 of these questions, the question is NOT, "What do THEY do..." but, rather, "What do I do". This is a key ingredient in this "exercise" - this must be turned "inward" and applied to YOU taking the action and not waiting on the other person and/or blaming the other person. That is about what YOU need to do and what YOU need to do TODAY.

1. How do you improve or "make better" your relationship with your friends, family, coworkers and your boss/employer? How can you be a better friend, family member, coworker and employee?

2. What do you need to do to make sure you are "involved" (engaged) in these same relationships? For example, at work, are you there just to "get the check" or are you involved/engaged in a way that shows you are dedicated to doing your absolute best at whatever your position may be there. Are you one that constantly whines and complains or are you one that, again, is focused on "turning off" the negativity that surrounds them and is focused on doing their job to the best of their ability?

3. What do you do TODAY to make (fill in the blank) GLAD that they are a part of this relationship with you? Are your friends - especially your really close friends - GLAD that you are their friend? Are you "involved and engaged" in that friendship or are you only "connected" when you want/need something? What are the "needs" that your family has at this stage of your life. Are you fully engaged in whatever role that might be and are they glad that you are a part of your family? And, yes, even with your coworkers and your "boss"...do they like to see you come into a room or are they happier when you leave? Is your employer GLAD that they hired you or do they regret that move?

Do NOT take the power behind these 3 questions lightly! They ARE, indeed, POWERFUL but only if you take them seriously and honestly answer and  apply what you need to do.

Until next time, remember, YOU'RE HERE FOR A REASON and, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

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What Do YOU Build?

We've looked at what successful people build in the last article....they build other people up and motivate and inspire them.

THEY BUILD PEOPLE!

Here's another way to look at the graphic above that may actually fit you and your situation better: "You don't build an ORGANIZATION. You build PEOPLE and then PEOPLE build the organization."

Those that do this NEVER have a hard time getting volunteers.

It doesn't have to be a business. It can be any type of situation where you need PEOPLE to get the job or task done.

You NEED people!

Why do so many have such a hard time understanding that, if you NEED people (and there aren't many situations where this isn't true) then why would you treat people in a way that would drive them away?

Who cares who gets the glory? Who cares who gets the attention?

A true leader (and a successful leader) will sit back with a big smile on their face while OTHERS get the attention and the glory.

Why? Because successful people BUILD PEOPLE.

Apply that at your church, at your sewing club, your book club, your civic club and any other place that you work with others. Do that - build up people - and see what actually gets accomplished and with so much less drama.

Business? Even if it's not YOUR business, if you work FOR this business or company, the same applies. Take PRIDE in what you do and build up those that work WITH you and even "under" you and see what happens.

Success WILL be yours in whatever form or fashion the situation brings about.

And, as you go about this great and wonderful task of building up others, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   "Like" FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

                                         Start your home based business HERE

Taking Care of Business NOW!

NOW!

Some of you may think of Elvis when you hear the phrase, "Taking Care of Business" while others (like myself) think of the song by Bachman Turner Overdrive (yeah, BTO sings TCB...I just love all of these abbreviations).

And, you may be wondering what this has to do with our current discussion on LOVING WHAT YOU DO. Hang with me here...it's an easy leap on this one.

First of all, remember, we have been talking about a video featuring a man that worked as a janitor when he won the state lottery. What did he do? He kept right on working his janitor job because of his love for the track program and his desire to donate money to help build a new track for the school. He had a PURPOSE and a PASSION for what he was doing so it didn't matter to him that he didn't HAVE to keep working as the janitor. He WANTED to!

That is when you know you are at your "dream job". When you don't HAVE to do it but you do it anyway.

Now tell me, would being a JANITOR ever have been on your list of answers as being anyone's "dream job"? Likely not. But it brings on the main point of this whole discussion.

Here it is: it doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks about what you are doing or what they think you SHOULD be doing. It's up to YOU to live your dream, whatever it may be.

Now then, most of us think of something far more elegant when we think of our dream job, don't we? But, again, let me refer to a question I asked early on in this series that SHOULD give you a clear view of your "dream job" - If money were not an issue, what would you be doing?

Well? Surely by now you have come up with an answer to this question if you have been following this series.

But the curve ball comes when we look at where we WANT TO BE and then at where WE ARE and we don't like what we see. The "wanna' be" is a long ways away from our "what is".

What then?

Yesterday I suggested that it might be possible to learn to love what you are doing even if you are not doing what you love (your "dream job"). I hope you have thought about that.

On yesterday's podcast I encouraged you to really try to brainstorm and think of HOW you can approach your current job with excitement rather than dread. WHAT CAN YOU DO to approach your day and your job with a challenge so that you get out of the rut of whining and complaining?

One thing that may be absolutely necessary is to change who you hang around with at the office!

BREAK FREE from those that do nothing but whine and complain but also never lift a finger to try to improve their position or make any attempt to actually do their best for the company.

How many times have you heard someone say something like this (and YOU may have been one of the ones to say it!): "Well, I'm not doing one thing more than I have to! If I don't HAVE to do it then I'm not going to do it!"

May I be blunt? What a loser mentality!

What if you decide to TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS RIGHT NOW where you are TODAY?

What if you decided to put 100% of your effort into doing the very BEST job that you can RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?

What if you did this today, tomorrow and EVERY day from now on?

What do you think would happen?

I can tell what would happen - THINGS WOULD CHANGE!

You don't need me to tell you what might change for you, do you? Take a moment and write down everything you can think of that would change for you if you adopted this approach.

Why not STOP dreading the day at work and why not TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS when you go to work today and start learning to love what you do (which is simply loving the fact that you are living up to your potential!) until you get to the point that you can finally have the "job of your dreams" and do what you love.

Thing is, you just might find out that this "dream job" was right under your nose all along.

Think about it.

And, until next time, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

www.MichaelSpillman.com