"RELATIONSHIPS: Friends II"Even though we talked about friends in our last segment, today we take another step closer in our "relationship circle" and spend a few moments talking about the relationships we have with our closest friends.
That's right, today we are going to talk about the relationships we have with those very SPECIAL people that we know are there for us at a moments notice. Perhaps they are the Tonto to your Lone Ranger or the Robin to your Batman.
Get the point?
This is the kind of friend that, just by looking at you, can know if something is wrong and they know just what to say OR to maybe even say nothing at all and just be there with you.
Now, guys (men) - sadly, for many (if not most) of us, we generally do not have these kinds of relationships. Oh, I know some of you do but, more often than not, we don't. That could be another whole series of topics to discuss, right?
WARNING: Men and/or women...I would STRONGLY suggest to you that you make sure this type of friend is someone of the same sex as you. Why? So that, if either of you are married, your relationship with your spouse is not jeopardized by this "friendship".
Stop your justification and your whining. I'm speaking truth here and I suggest you really pay attention to this IF you wish to maintain the strong relationship with your spouse.
Now, back to the point at hand - these CLOSE friends and the relationship that you have with them.
We've already discussed this point in relation to ALL of our relationships but it is also worth repeating when we talk about this level of our relationships - because this relationship is made up of HUMAN BEINGS we WILL disappoint and be disappointed from time to time.
Got it?
There's no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. There will be times that you may argue and fight and sometimes it is because that friend is being straight with us when we don't WANT to hear the truth about some situation.
However, these are the type of relationships that, even when you have had a disagreement, you realize you cannot do without. You NEED this relationship in your life. You NEED this sounding board and this voice of reason in your life and, hopefully, the same is true of them and their need for you and this relationship in their life.
Here is the KEY INGREDIENT needed in such a relationship (yeah, it's two different words but it still speaks to the same point): TRUTH and HONESTY!
In order for you to truly have the kind of relationship that allows you to share your innermost thoughts with this person, you have to TRUST them when they tell you that what you share stays with them and that they will not share it with anyone else. And, it has to be the same with what they may need to share with you.
TRUST.
This is why, many times, we fail to have really close relationships. Why? Because, due to past issues when others have destroyed trust, we find it hard to trust again.
I understand that completely.
Are YOU trustworthy? Do YOU demand something out of your friend that you are not willing to commit to? This is a two-way street, friend.
And, hey, listen... we can ALL find someone to serve as a "yes man" in our lives, right? You know, the type of person that wants to please us so much and be our friend so much that they won't really be honest with us but, instead, will agree with us regardless. This is the kind of person that will tell you that you look GREAT even if you purposely put on some hideous outfit just to see what they would say.
THIS IS NOT A TRUE FRIEND.
A true friend will be HONEST with you even when you don't want to hear the honest truth. Now, they will be kind (unless you won't listen) in the process but they understand the depth of your friendship and the demand that such depth puts on the relationship to be HONEST.
Relationships are destroyed when trust and honesty is "thrown out the window".
In other words, when a relationship if void of truth and honesty then it is not a friendship relationship.
Think about that and let it soak in.
Can you forgive and be forgiven? YES!
And, again, if this is one of "those" TRUE relationships that have been messed up by our human frailty, then you (and the other party) will realize the value of the relationship and you will both be willing and ready to work out the hurt and move on.
But, know this - when trust is destroyed it will take a VERY LONG TIME for that trust to be established once again. And, to be honest with you, sometimes it can never be reestablished.
So, be careful and cherish this friendship. Be thankful and EXPRESS THAT THANKS to such a friend and do all that you can to protect that relationship with TRUTH and HONESTY!
I am happy to say that I have ONE such relationship in my life (thanks, Fred!) and I hope you have at least one and even more than one.
Any of us that has such a friend in life is truly blessed. Again, express that thanks to that friend and be committed to be the BEST friend that YOU can be as well.
Until next time...
"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"
Mike
http://www.michaelspillman.com/
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