Have you read the previous articles in this series? If not, you won't be successful in your desire (IF you have the desire) to actually develop a positive mindset.
Have you listened to the podcast and/or watched the videos that go along with each of these articles in this series? If not, why not? I don't follow a script so, EACH ONE OF THESE avenues for each episode will always have some additional/different information that you won't find in the other avenues. TRUE FACT!
ARE YOU DOING THE HOMEWORK that is discussed? Again, if not - WHY NOT? Are you SERIOUS about learning how to DEVELOP (and MAINTAIN) a positive mindset or is this just a "half-hearted" approach that likely is reflective of your yearly shortcomings with "New Year's Resolutions"?
In this part of this series, I'm first talking about those relationships that you have that are, for the most part, by choice. Your friends (your closest friends to other friends that aren't as close) and anyone else that you have "connections" with NOT INCLUDING those that you have through work or that are what I refer to as "FORCED Relationships".
Now then, you may even include the relationships that you have with family in this first application. Oh, I know that you might argue that your relationship with family is not by choice. I get that and, honestly, the category of "family" will be applied in THIS part as well as in the next when I discuss those "Forced Relationships".
O.k.? Got it? (Again, be sure to listen to the podcast and/or watch the video - links below - which may help you "grasp" this even better).
Here's your "homework"...
1. For now, just brainstorm and write down anyone that you can think of when you consider those relationships that you have that are by YOUR choice. Again, those closest to you and even those that aren't as close but with which you still choose to connect. Yes, go ahead and enter any family members that, as best as you can, you would say that you "choose" to spend time around. Go ahead...write them all down and get specific by actually writing down their name.
2. As you look at the list that you just put together (obviously, don't move to this step until you have completed step #1...yes, you can add others later as you think of them and adjust each of these things as necessary) I want you to rate them from 1 - 10. This means that "1" would be the low end of helping you have a positive mindset. "10" would be on the high end. So, for example, someone that you would rate as a "1" would be someone that has an absolute NEGATIVE influence on your life...the WORST! And, on the other end, a "10" would be someone that "lifts you up" and makes you just "feel good/better" just by being around them. Rate each person on this part of this list based on the scale that I just defined.
3. Once you have completed step #2, now take the time to write down WHY you gave each person the ranking that you did. If you ranked someone at a "6", write WHY you did so. Be specific as possible.
4. Pay close attention to these last two steps! NEXT, besides each name and ranking, try to estimate how much TIME you spend with them on a weekly basis (estimate how much each day you spend and then add them up for seven days).
5. Finally, it's time to "sort them out" and I want you to do this TWO DIFFERENT WAYS:
a.) Group them by "ranking". In other words, group all of your 7's together and, put all of your 4's, etc. in a different grouping together. Got it?
b.) NOW make another LIST based on the amount of time that you spend with each person in a week. The first on your list should be the one that you spend the MOST time with and on down to where the last one on your list should be the one that you spend the LEAST amount of time with. (Yes, be sure to include time that you spend on the phone, chatting via text or social media, etc.) ALSO, beside each name and the amount of time that you sped with them, be sure to also list their "ranking number" that you gave them.
Here's a couple of examples:
That's it for now. You SHOULD be able to start seeing what I'm doing here and that YOU are going to have to make some DECISIONS on who you are allowing into your life based on their impact on your mindset - positive OR negative!
Based on how much TIME you spend with the people on your list, how healthy is it - based on their "ranking" - for you to spend that much time with them?
Based on their "ranking", how healthy is it for you to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with them?
Don't stress yourself out over this right now. But, again, if you are SERIOUS about your desire (DECISION) to develop a POSITIVE MINDSET, then you can see for yourself - clearly - that there may be some changes that are going to need to take place.
For now...just take a look at the list and be honest with yourself at what you actually see. Yes, this WILL test your "resolve" (root word of "resolution", remember?) on this decision.
In our next article, we'll take a look at those "forced relationships" that we must all deal with, perhaps on a daily basis.
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