Finding Your JOY!

"Find & Keep/Protect Our JOY & PURPOSE For Our Lives"

(Share & Teach Family and Others!)

This last section of my white board will be covered over the course of this article plus the next two. Honestly, I could spend a lot more time than this on this part of my white board - it's that important and it can be discussed in that amount of detail.

But, to keep this informative without becoming boring, I will keep it to these three articles and podcasts (you can find the links to the podcast at the end of this article). 

Notice that, in the image above, I have the words, "Still Key!" circled. That serves as a reminder to me that, no matter how much time goes by, this phrase is key now and it will be key every single day that I exist. IT IS ALWAYS KEY! 

I'm going to start off by breaking this down to the first part of this phrase - "Find (and keep/protect) your joy". Let's shorten that a bit and just get to the main point: "FIND YOUR JOY".  We'll cover the "keep and protect" part in part 3 of this section, o.k.?

So, how does one FIND their joy? Well, let me suggest to you that you not consider it as if this joy is something that has been "lost". Sure, it's possible that it has been lost, but that's for another discussion at another time. So, for now, let's rephrase this discussion to the need to "discover" and/or "uncover" your joy. 

Although the wording for this is simple, it is not necessarily a simple thing to accomplish. So, here is the simple wording: What is it that brings you JOY? 

Notice that I did not ask, "What makes you happy" but, instead, "What is it that brings you joy?".  Remember, no one - or thing - can "make" you happy or sad. But, what is it that YOU involve yourself with and in that brings about the result of JOY? 

Let me illustrate it this way...

Some people thoroughly ENJOY doing yard work. Being involved in keeping their grass meticulously mowed and their flowers in perfect condition brings them a feeling of joy and contentment. While, at the same time, others absolutely dread doing this kind of work.  Some people really enjoy a good long jog or walk. They enjoy knowing that they are doing something good for their health and, they may even enjoy the "quiet time" that they get as part of the process. And, again, others may find this more of a form of torture!

Part of the process of "joy" is peace and/or contentment. Again, it's not just "being happy" but it's experiencing a sense of peace and contentment as well. Along with that or, perhaps, the result of this combination,  is that this brings about a sense of fulfillment.

Maybe these thoughts will help you as you think about what it is that brings about JOY in and for your life. Consider these factors and you will find the answer.  

Hey listen, this doesn't mean that this will be something that you will be able to earn a living from BUT, at the same time, it WILL bring about a REASON for truly living. Make sense?  

I left this little hint on the podcast so I want to be sure to leave it with you here: Many people find that this sense of joy, peace, contentment and fulfillment comes when they are doing something to help others. 

Think about that and share your thoughts with me on the Future You University fan page on Facebook - I'd love to hear from you! 

In my next blog article, we'll take a look at finding your PURPOSE in life. Guess what? These two are very closely related so, be sure to come back and join me as we continue this discussion.

Again, as a reminder, if you haven't done so yet, you need to listen to the podcast on today's topic. Just click one of the links at the bottom of this article to do so. There is SO MUCH MORE information and additional thoughts that I share with you there that is not found in this article. 

If you listen by going to iTunes, please take a moment and leave a review - I thank you in advance! Also, be sure to stop by the FYU fan page on Facebook and let me know that you left that review AND to just say "hello" and let me know that you are benefiting from Future You University. 

As always, THANKS for joining me today and, please, share this with as many as possible and always be sure to keep moving forward, closer to your dream!

And, until next time, whatever you do,  be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

The Key to Happiness (Part 3)

"Money can't buy you happiness" to which many reply, "I'd sure like to find out for myself!"

First and foremost, before we go any further, MONEY is the same as our last discussion about PEOPLE...in and of itself, money cannot "make" us happy or sad. Once again, our happiness comes from within as a part of our outlook on life and who we are.

We can, once again, look to the many lottery winners that have ended up in worse financial shape than they were BEFORE they won that huge amount of money. It's almost as if they were "cursed" instead of "blessed" when they won. The reality is that they allowed the money to control them instead of them controlling the money.

Have you not seen "famous" (that's a relative term) people who are wealthy, talk about how their wealth has brought about many problems to their life? Have you not ever heard someone in this position talk about being bored because, once they have "attained it all", they felt that there was really nothing left?

Now, before I go on, let me just say that many that feel that way are very self-centered. Sad, but true. To have been blessed with the ability to achieve that kind of wealth and to be bored and feel that there is nothing left for them is, in my opinion, selfish.

What a GREAT opportunity to change the lives of many that cannot do for themselves. In other countries around the world, yes, but also in their own country! What a great opportunity for them to "step outside of themselves" and give fully of themselves for the good of others.

From what I have gathered over the years, that kind of life is no longer boring because it is now about OTHERS.

Hey, even King Solomon, considered to be one of the wealthiest people in history, discussed his thoughts that, in the overall scheme of life, everything is "vanity" or pointless (read Ecclesiastes, chapter 1 in the Old Testament for more on that). Money or wealth is not THE answer.

So, can money or wealth be the key to happiness, even in some small way?

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I mentioned the other day about this graphic that I had posted on the fan page on FB. Notice what it says: "The goal is not to get rich. The goal is to LIVE RICH." And, then, below that, I added the question: "What does 'living rich' mean to you?"
 

 

 "Riches" and/or "wealth" do not have to have anything to do with money. Some of the  wealthiest people on this earth do not have a very large bank account and, at the same time, some of the "poorest" people on this earth have some of the largest bank accounts.

 

Make sense?

 

So, looking at this last graphic, it IS possible to LIVE RICH and not have a lot of money just as it is to be "relationship-poor" with all the money in the world.

 

And, NO, one does not have to exist over the other. It just takes a person that can make sure that THEY have control over the money and not the other way around. When MONEY begins to control people, problems follow soon after.

 

There is NOTHING wrong with having lots of money. Much good can be done with that money. The problem comes if and when a person allows their money to control them instead of the other way around. And, at the same time, there is NOTHING wrong with not having much money at all. Some of the "wealthiest" people on earth are those who have invested in relationships and reap the harvest of having many "real" friends.

 

By the way, the Bible does NOT say that MONEY is the root of all evil. The Bible declares that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. There's a big difference there between the two concepts, friend.

 

Bottom line: You control your money or your money controls you.

 

So, in closing, it's not if you have a lot of money or not much at all. YOU are the one responsible for your ability to bless the lives of those around you and, in turn, bring about happiness (joy, contentment, pleasure) in your life.

 

Think about it and, as you do so, always be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University  "Like" FYU on Facebook!  Podcast on iTunes 

Podcast RSS feed    See Small Investment EXPLODE!

 

 

The Key to Happiness (Part 2)

Have you taken the time to jot down your ideas on what we talked about in the last article? If not (and if you didn't read the last article) go back and spend a little time answering those questions. Doing so will help make this series personal and it will also allow you to apply these things to your own situation a lot more specifically.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

Again, if you've not done so, go back and read the last article for the introductory thoughts to what we will be talking about in this article.

DO NOT PLACE YOUR HAPPINESS IN THE HANDS OR LIVES OF OTHERS!

This is the main point for this article - PEOPLE can not make you happy. Let that soak in!

You may have found yourself saying (and you will hear others say it as well), "You make me so happy!" or "(Name of person) makes me SO happy!" And, on the other side, you may also say or hear, "You make me so mad!" or "(Name of person) makes me SO mad!"

I remember seeing a young man comment on a social media page, "I wish I could find the right girl to make me happy." I replied to this young man, "If that is what you are waiting for, you will be waiting a LONG time."

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And, I do mean "one-time"...no further payments and no monthly charges out of your pocket!

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Let me clarify a little. I know that many of you don't quite understand what I'm saying here because you may be thinking, "But my spouse/kids/grandchildren/friends DO make me happy!"

 

People can bring "feelings" of happiness to your life and people can add to the component of your life that brings about happiness but NO ONE PERSON can "make" you happy or unhappy.

 

Read that again - maybe slowly and maybe more than once - and let it sink in.

 

Let's notice a few things about this idea:

     1. If a person can "make" you happy, if they leave your life either by death or by choice, are you doomed to a life of unhappiness?

     2. Is it not unfair to put this much "responsibility" for OUR happiness on others?

     3. Your happiness - created by YOU - might very well bring joy into the lives of those around you which, in turn, may create even more feelings of joy and happiness into your OWN life!

 

Now for a quick "break down" of those three points, o.k.?

 

1. Yes, I do understand that others can bring about feelings of joy and even peace into your life. Yes, this DOES add to the overall component in your life that can add to your joy, pleasure and contentment (see definition for happiness in the last article). But you can NOT rely on those people to be responsible for your own happiness.

 

Have you ever been disappointed by any of these people? Have they ever frustrated you? Discouraged you? Brought about feelings of anger in you? The answer to all of those questions is very likely to be "YES!".  So, yes, they can have an impact upon our "feelings", but they cannot - and we should not expect them to - "make us" happy or unhappy.

 

And, yes, I DO understand that the loss (either by death or other means) of having someone in your life can be heart-breaking. I understand that this kind of loss can bring about much pain and despair. Again, they made up part of the overall component of your life that brought about joy, pleasure and contentment in your life. They were a PART of your happiness.

 

But also understand that you are NOT now confined to a life of misery and unhappiness. It may be difficult, but you can and will find other areas of your life that can help fill that void in your life that will bring joy, pleasure and contentment into your life.

 

2. It IS unfair to put the responsibility of your happiness on others. Many couples fight over this and even divorce over this very thing. "But you're supposed to make me happy!" whines one to the other.  Perhaps this disillusionment came from one promising the other, "I will ALWAYS make you happy!".

 

That's a nice thought but it's an impossible promise to keep. Easy to make, impossible to keep.

 

So, on either side, it is unfair to expect someone else to be responsible for your happiness and, friend, it is unfair and unrealistic for you to think that you are responsible for the happiness of another.

 

3. WE are responsible for our own happiness. Those that have joy, pleasure and contentment as a part of their life very likely will draw others to them. Yes, others can "feed off" of that contentment and joy and, in turn, increase their own levels of those feelings and emotions.

 

Happiness must come from within. True contentment can only come from YOU and what YOU hold in your heart. Make sense? True contentment understands that others WILL disappoint us and, yes, even frustrate us but that contentment will never allow that to DESTROY us.

 

Now, don't take this the wrong way, especially if you have lost a loved one in death. I'm not trying to be "cold-hearted" about this but, it still applies, even in that situation. Here it is: True contentment and happiness comes with the understanding that your worth and value is not dependent upon another person.

 

YOU are special and YOU hold the key to understanding your true value.

 

I know that it is painful at times but, friend, it is still true.

 

So, as you go about writing down your answers to the question, "What makes me happy?", don't write down the names of others. Maybe there are things ABOUT those people that bring about the feeling of joy and happiness but that person, alone, is not responsible for your happiness.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this article and, as always, I also want to encourage you to listen to the podcast (see the links below) and to also share both with as many people as possible. You just never know when what is read or said is exactly what someone needs on a particular day.

 

Until next time, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 Future You University  "Like" FYU on Facebook!  Podcast on iTunes 

Podcast RSS feed    See Small Investment EXPLODE!

 



 

Make Happiness Who You Are

Make Happiness Who You Are

Going through the process of not allowing our happiness to be dictated by people and/or things is, perhaps, one of the hardest things for us to do in the realm of developing a positive mindset.

It seems to be so easy to allow our emotions to be triggered by the smallest and most insignificant things and it also seems to be so hard to fight against that tendency.

Short and sweet, here is the key: CHANGE YOUR FOCUS!

Short and sweet, yes but easy, not necessarily!

If you will really look at our "happiness fixation" it really is usually based on what others can do or how "things" can or will make US happy, right?

C'mon, be honest.

That being said, we must admit then, that we are quite selfish in this area of happiness! And that is exactly why we must change our focus.

I believe that, in the area of personal development, the ONLY way that we can develop a happiness that comes from within (an inner peace) is by changing our focus from US to OTHERS.

Instead of, "what can you do to make ME happy?" we must work on changing that to, "what can I do to bring happiness to someone else's life?".

This is how - in tune with the title of this article - we can "make happiness who (we) are". We must work on making this a part of our DNA, so to speak and allow it to become a part of who we are!

It CAN be done. But it WILL take time.

Time alone won't get it done, however. Hey, time is going to pass one way or the other but it's what we DO with and during that passing time that matters.

Remember, this is a PROCESS and this process must include our involvement in it and it WILL take time! A little at a time and a little each day changing our focus from US to OTHERS will bring about the desired result of making "happy" just a part of who we are.

Regardless of what goes on around us and regardless of how people may treat us.

Now, get ready for this - even some that we try to help and serve will turn on us. That's right! But, again, why waste our energy and emotions on this by allowing their actions to control OUR emotions?

Just know that you attempted to serve and give of yourself and, for whatever reason (bad day, etc.) this particular person rejected it. So what? There are others that are waiting and willing to receive your act of kindness.

THIS IS A FACT!

So...are you ready to begin the process?

Yes, others and things can BRING joy and happiness into our lives (aren't you thankful for that?) but we should never turn the power over to any person or any thing as to whether we can be happy or not.

That power and control is yours. Own it and use it for the benefit and betterment of those around you.

By doing so you will find that, indeed, "happiness is who you are"!

As you go along your way, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Dance in the End Zone!

The topic for this blog comes from my Wednesday podcast - and we call Wednesday, "WIDE OPEN Wednesday".

This phrase has a great connection to the topic for today as well. Here's the bottom line to be thinking about when you hear or read the phrase, "WIDE OPEN"...your day is WIDE OPEN before you and it's WIDE OPEN for you to do with it as you will!

It's true! Yes, I do know that there are many thngs that can happen during our day that are out of our control. But, again, we DO have control over how we react to those things and also the impact that it may have on our day, week and life. The day is, indeed, WIDE OPEN before you.

It's not always to remember that, is it? It's not always easy to act in a way that demonstrates belief in that principle. It does take effort!

When I was in High School playing basketball, I can remember many times in practice or even in a game how the coach would fuss at us if we didn't play very good defense. I especially remember how it applied to me when someone on the opposing team would drive down the lane for a lay up! Why? Because I played in the middle and, usually, was responsible for stopping them. When this would happen the coach would say something like, "My goodness guys! I could drive a Mac truck down that lane!"

Now obviously, he was exaggerating just a little, but he was pointing out that the lane was "WIDE OPEN" for the opposing team and it allowed them to have success.

As I watched Monday Night Football the other night I enjoyed seeing Felix Jones (yes, a former Arkansas Razorback! - Go Hogs!) have success running the ball. However, even though Felix is very talented and very fast, he couldn't have success without others BLOCKING for him, MOVING people for him and CREATING a WIDE OPEN lane or "hole" for him to run through.

We must do what is necessary to give us that "wide open" situation in our own lives. I believe that listening to positive podcasts (yes, like mine)and reading positive things like you are doing with this blog are the things that "BLOCK" for us and create the holes for us and present the principle of "WIDE OPEN" in our day.

Here's something else though. Sometimes an offensive line can open up a hole for a running back and the running back doesn't take advantage of it. Why? He doesn't "see" the hole! This is especially true of those times when the hole that is opened up is only there for a split second and not very big. You will hear commentators talk about a player that has the ability to "see the hole" and to "hit the hole". That's what they are talking about - those players that have the ability to SEE the OPPORTUNITY to make FORWARD PROGRESS due to that opening.

"PROGRESS IS NOT CREATED BY CONTENTED PEOPLE" - Frank Tyger

I appreciate my friend, Jim Ferguson (by the way, Happy Anniversary to Jim and his wife!) for sending this quote to me. It's powerful and it's true!

Yes, we need to appreciate what we have. Yes, we need to be thankful for our families, our homes, etc. Being happy and peaceful does not necessarily mean that we have to be content to the point that we cease to look for the "WIDE OPEN" opportunities in our lives!

We can again see this idea played out in the sporting world. Many times - and this is true in just about ANY sport - a team will have the lead as they near the end of the game and they will become very conservative in their approach to the game. They cease playing to win and begin to play to "not lose". And, many times, the very thing that they try to avoid (losing) is exactly what happens!

They became content with a lead instead of pushing forward for what was available to them. How sad that is to see for a true fan but it is even sadder to see that played out in life.

Successful running backs - for example - are those that are not content for a gain of five yards but work and struggle and fight for an additional two, three or more yards.

Now, in case you think I'm talking about living a life of "it's never enough" - that's not what I'm talking about. Let's make this real simple. Let's say you decide that you are content with what you have right now. That's great, right? Sure it is! However, the fact is that, for most people, in order to even maintain our present lifestyle we must STILL go back to work tomorrow and do our best. Why go back? Why try to do your best? Why try to gain a promotion?

You see, all of these things point to the fact that we must ALL continue to work toward this level of peace and joy in our lives.

This has really turned out to be a blog full of sports analogies - and yes, here comes another one!

I love games played on real grass! I love it when, due to rain or snow, the field gets messed up and muddy and the players uniforms actually LOOK like they are playing football! When this happens, due to the fact that most of the action takes place in the middle of the field (the "trenches") the field becomes a mess there! It becomes hard for the players to keep their footing which makes it especially hard for any running back that tries to run in that mess!

So, what does a smart coach do? He tries to organize plays that will get that running back to the outside - away from the muddy mess in the middle of the filed - where the footing is more solid and where he can get to the "WIDE OPEN" area of the field!

You will even see this played out when the filed is NOT a mess. Perhaps the play was designed for the running back to go right up the middle. You will see the talented running backs (the ones that "see the hole") many times hit the wall of players there, realize that the hole is not there and then "bounce out" away from that mass of players and then get to the "outside" to the "WIDE OPEN" part of the field and many times get a lot of yardage or even score a touchdown.

WE MUST DO THIS IN OUR OWN LIVES many times! Hey, listen friend - we need to open our eyes and realize that sometimes we have to get out of the rut and out of the "muddy mess" that we keep stomping around in and CHANGE DIRECTION! We need to open our eyes and see that, sometimes, we must do something different and try to get to that "WIDE OPEN" part in our lives.

Wanna' know a secret? It's there every single day! But, you have to see it. You have to want it. You have to seek it and you have to desire it!

Last night as I was listening to a CD I heard a guy say, "Champions play in the end zone."

I like that! The champions are the ones that have found a way to "see" and then "hit the hole" in order to get to the "WIDE OPEN" area of their lives!

And, my friend, that champion lies within YOU!

Oh, and when you get to that end zone? DANCE, my friend, DANCE!

What a celebration!

Remember - today is WIDE OPEN for you so, with that in mind...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

It's "Wonderful Wednesday" - WHY NOT NOW?

Yes, Monday was "Magical Monday" and today is "Wonderful Wednesday"! So, how is YOUR Wednesday? Rather, what will YOU make of your Wednesday?

In today's podcast we go a step further in our question of "Why?" As you remember, on Monday we discussed the question, "Why not me?" and today we discuss the question, "Why not now?"

This is will be the first of a two-part discussion because I feel that there is so much more that needs to be discussed about this topic. I do believe that it is SO important in these "difficult times" for us to focus on the POSSIBILITIES rather than the "perceived limitations".

Were you amazed at the well-known and powerful companies that were started during past recessions? Don't you know that there were those giving "advice" to these companies to NOT take that step forward?

What about you? Is that happening to you? Has it happened to you? My guess is that the answer to at least ONE of those questions would be, "yes". I know it is for me! I have - in the past - allowed others to talk me out of "making my move". Perhaps to be even more correct in my wording I would have to say that I (not others) have talked myself out of "making my move".

Likely this is true for you as well.

But what are you waiting on? What are you waiting for? There is no time like NOW!

I encourage you to - on the same sheet of paper that you wrote the words, "Why Not Me?" - also write below that question the words, "Why Not Now?"
I also encourage you to get out a piece of paper and make two columns. On the left side write down your answer to the question, "What am I waiting for? What do I think has to happen before I move forward?" Be honest. Be open. Be real. Force yourself to write those answers down.
On the right side of the paper and across from each of your "answers" (not reasons, you notice) write down when those things will happen. In other words, if - for example - in the left hand column you wrote down, "$25,000 in the bank" - then, in the right hand column write down WHEN that will happen. Put a date on it. I mean, hey, if THAT is something that you are waiting on before you make your move, don't you think you should have a "time stamp" on it?
Then, perhaps, also write down WHAT you are doing to make that happen. What are you doing (using our example above) to gain that level of $25,000 in your account?

WHATEVER IT IS - are they simply obstacles that you have put before your path to progress?

Why would we do that to ourselves?

We'll talk about that in Monday's part 2 podcast of "Why Not Now?"

Until then - be open, be honest, be real with yourself. Until you do, you'll never have the courage to move forward in your life.

Hey, why NOT you? And, why NOT now? Think about it and......

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike Spillman