New Year's Tip #1: Get Your Head Out of Your Phone!

 

Well, here we are...beginning a new year together!

 

I hope that you had the chance to read my last article that I put together as a special "New Year's Week" article. If not, I want to encourage you to go back to the article before this one and read it and apply it to your life. Here  is to you and my wishes for your best year ever in 2015!

 

What I'd like to do now is to offer a few tips that may help that wish to become a reality in your life. They are not "life changing" as far as "big moves" go and, because of that, many will ignore and overlook what it is that I'm sharing. However, at the same time, they CAN be VERY "big moves" because they will require a definite change in your attitude and actions.

 

The week before Christmas, I went into the local revenue office to renew the tags on the license plate of my car. As is usually the case, I drew a number and sat, waiting for when my number would be called. Now, I have to tell you, "people watching" is one of my favorite things to do and, this day would be no exception.

 

There were two numbers before mine and, when the first of those two numbers were called, no one moved. I looked around and noticed two ladies who had their attention focused on their phones and, from what I could deduct, one of these two had the number being called. I was sitting close to the "window" that the workers were behind and I mentioned to the lady that had called out the number that I didn't think that anyone heard her. She called it out a second time and, still, no reaction. I finally looked over toward where the two ladies were sitting and called out the number.

 

It was as if I had sent the lady a text myself and she finally saw it! She awoke out of her "texting fog" and came to the window to take care of her business.

 

The second of the two ladies was not quite so responsive when her number was called. After the worker had called her number two times, she finally got up to walk toward the desk, never taking her attention away from her phone. As she approached the desk, she never looked up or acknowledged the worker behind the desk but, instead, simply put her papers on the counter and pushed them toward the worker.

 

I could see the look of "you've got to be kidding me" on the worker's face as she looked up at the young lady standing before her, all of her attention focused on her phone. After waiting for a few seconds, and still not receiving the appropriate attention to the task at hand, the worker cleared her throat and said, "Excuse me...do you have the REST of the papers that you need?"

 

I'm sure you have seen similar situations, haven't you?

 

I simply refuse to attempt any type of conversation with someone that is focused on their phone. Friends, whether you agree or not, that type of action is rude and shows no respect to the person across from you.

 

Are YOU guilty of such?

 

I hope not but, at the same time, in this world of instant gratification and immediate communication, it is likely that you have been caught in this trap at one time or another.

 

Here's my simple tip for you for this new year - GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR PHONE!

 

That's a simple and alternative way to say, "Pay more attention to the world that is around you." Too many people spend too much attention to someone that they can't even see at the moment when, at the same time, there is so much to see and experience that is right before their very eyes.

 

Determine now to give those around you the proper respect that they deserve. And, yes, at the same time, do now allow yourself to be disrespected by others that refuse to do so.

 

ENGAGE with your world as it goes by day by day. Again, once gone it can never be regained, relived or replenished.

 

When do you start? Start NOW, at this very moment and see what happens.

 

Join me as I discuss another tip for you in this new year in the next article. But, until then, whatever you do, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

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3rd of 4 Agreements (Don't Make Assumptions)

You know what they say about what happens when you ASSUME something, right? Well, I'll go ahead and tell you in case you don't. It is said that when you choose to ASSUME something that you end up making an ASS out of U and ME.

 

That's not good. I know of no one that wakes up in the morning and says, "Hey! I think I want to make an "ass" out of myself!"

 

So, friend, don't make assumptions.

 

Good communication is a skill that many - if not most - lack and I don't think it's getting any better. With the advent of texting and "walking computers" there seems to be less and less human, face-to-face interaction and this leads to a weakening of communication skills.

 

One way to help combat this problem is to STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS!

 

Stop acting and/or reacting to what you THINK someone said and take the time to communicate clearly and remove as many misunderstandings as you can.

 

A. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. So, how does it generally work out for you when you EXPECT others to know what you are thinking? We put undue pressure on relationships when we EXPECT others to know. It doesn't matter if it's a spouse or a friend...why do that to them?

 

B. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Who DOESN'T want to rid their life of as much drama as possible? Assumptions bring on misunderstandings which, in turn, often bring emotions that have to be dealt with. Whether it's sadness, disappointment or any other kind of drama, it CAN be prevented most of the time with better, and clearer, communication.

 

C. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. Pretty bold statement, right? But, if you really think about what we're saying here, it actually is a real transformation that can take place in your life. Following these steps can TRANSFORM your life from one that is filled with drama that stems from miscommunication and into one of clarity and peace.

 

Communication can be very frustrating but, friend, it doesn't have to be. Care enough to take the time to LISTEN and not make assumptions on what someone else is saying or MIGHT say. Care enough to take the time to SPEAK CLEARLY and not assume that others know what you mean.

 

Ahhhhhhhhhh. Hear that? It's the sounds of a more peaceful life. Nice, isn't it?

 

Enjoy! And, as you do so, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 

Future You University   "Like" FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

                                        TRAVEL FOR LESS and ENJOY LIFE MORE!

Spread the Light - Part 2

I'm not sure if you read my blog a couple of weeks ago on "Believe in Yourself...and Others" or not but in it I talk about how I saw the same message on three different signs in the span of a few hours. The EXACT same message. I also talked about how that appeared to me as something that I needed to pay attention to since it happened three times with the EXACT same message.
 

Here we go again! If you haven't done so take a couple of minutes and read the blog from yesterday and pay close attention to the quote that I used as a springboard for my article.
 

Keep in mind that I put that article together and made it "live" yesterday afternoon.
 

Here's a little background that you didn't know that I thought I'd throw into the equation in all of this. When I was thinking of what I wanted to talk about in my blog I was drawing a complete blank. Absolutely NOTHING was coming to mind that I wanted to talk about.
 

So I brought up a page on my computer that was a page dedicated to quotes from different people, different categories and there are likely THOUSANDS of these quotes on this page. I looked over a couple of different days worth of quotes and found the one that I used yesterday and decided to use it. It seemed to "speak to me" and I knew that I could share some positive thoughts based on that quote about "spreading the light".     
  

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Now, here's the "kicker".
 

Last night (probably 5 hours AFTER posting my blog with that quote in it) I pulled up my Facebook page and saw a post from Success Magazine. The post consisted of the EXACT same quote that I had used earlier in my blog.

 

 

EXACTLY the same.
 

I double checked everything to make sure that I had not seen that quote earlier in the day on that post but I discovered that the time stamp on the post from Success Magazine was from thirty minutes earlier from when I brought my Facebook page up in the evening. That means around four and a half hours or so AFTER I posted my blog.
 

EXACTLY the same.
 

So, I think it must be important and it must be important TO ME and FOR ME.
 

And, since I love to share information and positive thoughts with YOU, I feel it must also be important TO YOU and FOR YOU.
 

So, take another look at that quote, friend: "There are two ways of spreading the light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." - Edith Wharton
 

Cool, huh?
 

Keep spreading the light and, as you do so, be sure to...
 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

STOP - LOOK - LISTEN!

Many of you may not even know this due to your age but, for us older folks (I'm 53), this brings to mind the phrase used as a warning when you were to cross a railroad track that did not have warning lights at the intersection.

You were reminded to STOP and not just drive over the track, LOOK to make sure there wasn't a train coming down the track and LISTEN for the noise of an oncoming train that you may not be able to see.

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I got to thinking about how this same warning should apply to each of us in our interactions with those around us. Just follow me on this...

STOP: To be blunt here, STOP TALKING! It's been shown time and again that the best way to learn about others and to also earn their trust is to LISTEN to what they have to say. Too many times we are trying to think about what we want to say instead of LISTENING to the other person.

LOOK: Pay attention to body language and use those perceptions to address the unspoken. I'm not going to get involved in a deep discussion in this short blog BUT those that pay attention to this type of thing are those that get ahead due to their communication skills. Pay attention!

LISTEN: Need I say more? You can't listen if you are busy talking and listening will ALWAYS give you insight into what is really important to the person that you are communicating with at the time.
See what happens if you take the time to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN!

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"
Mike

Small Things BLOWING UP Big!

Today is "Turn-Around Tuesday" --- YOU have the opportunity to do that TODAY!

The story is told of an elderly couple sitting out on the front porch in their rocking chairs enjoying a lovely afternoon when the old man decides to express some loving thoughts to his wife of many years. Leaning over in her direction he say, "I love you!" to which the dear lady responded, "What's that you say?" Leaving over a little further and talking a little louder the gentleman repeats, "I said, I love you!". Still unable to hear what her husband was saying and a bit frustrated she said, "Tarnations old man! Speak up and say what you want to say!". The old man gave it all he had and yelled out at the top of his voice, "I SAID, I - LOVE - YOU!!" to which, with misunderstanding, the sweet woman replied at the top of her voice, "Well, good grief! I'M TIRED OF YOU TOO!"

Oops! MISunderstandings, MISinterpretations and just plain ol' "MISSES" that turn into MESSES!

"Just let it go." I have uttered those words numerous times in working with young people lately when they want to respond heatedly to what really is a very small offense. Hey, you know this to be true, right - people find out what "buttons" to push to get a reaction from you and they push it often and then they push it MORE often! What happens if we just learn to "let it go" and don't react? Many times, the "problem" will disappear.

I'm ticklish but I have learned to control that response so that when someone comes up to me and asks if I'm ticklish they don't get a response when they try to tickle me. By the way, isn't it odd that a person would ASK you a question and either not believe you OR (as usually is the case) start tickling you before you even answer? Anyway, I can resist the response and, guess what? They don't try it any more.

Simple illustration, I know. But it applies pretty much the same way to learning how to NOT let people "push our buttons". Remember, THEY DO NOT HAVE CONTROL over our emotions. We do!

Also consider the "chain of events" that takes place when you allow this to happen to you and then you drop that negative attitude on anyone and everyone around you. Many of these people are "innocent bystanders" and have absolutely nothing to do with the problem in the first place.

So, realize that what happens to you - positive or negative - doesn't stay with just you. Share the good, the positive and JUST LET GO of the negative and harmful.

Try it, you might like it! (And those around you will likely be pretty happy with it as well).

Until next time, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike