Regret NOTHING

To a large extent, one of the worse things a person can do is to have REGRETS when they come to the end of their life.

Now, to be honest, I'm not sure that it's possible to live life in such a way that we won't all have SOME regrets - I'm not sure that's even humanly possible. However, we CAN do all that we can to keep those down to as few as possible

And, yes, we CAN do that!

As you get ready to read this article (be sure to listen to the podcast on this as well by clicking on one of the links at the bottom of this article), I want to get you to do something first. Do NOT focus on the things that you have or haven't done in your past up to this point. As I talk about this topic in this article, I want you to approach this as starting with a "clean slate" at this very moment. Make sense? 

Hey listen, we cannot go back and undo what we have done in the past. Yes, we can try to live in such a way that may help heal relationships and "mend fences" that were harmed by our actions, but we cannot go back and relive them. So, START FRESH today and dedicate yourself to doing less that would bring regret into your life. 

I was watching a video the other day talking about this very thing. It stated something that I believe is true - it stated that most people, at the end of their life, don't have regrets concerning things that they did but, rather, they have regrets about things that they did NOT do.

Do you want to know how to avoid that from happening in your own life? Here ya' go....get ready...STOP talking about it and START doing it!

Oversimplified, right?

Seriously, what is it that you are waiting for? If you are waiting for the "perfect" time to do whatever it is that you want to do then, guess what? IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN? Because, friend, that perfect time will NEVER come!

It's like when I hear a married couple say that they are going to wait until they can "afford it" before they have children. Uh, spoiler alert...that's never going to happen! ;)

I understand the thought behind such a statement and approach but it's the same approach that we make when planning on waiting before we actually DO things that we want to do in and for our life. 

Too many of us wait until something happens to where we find out that we have a short period of time left to live. Then it's "hurry up and get it done" before time runs out. 

Hey, listen, this article is for me, too!

So, again, the "cure" for this is to STOP TALKING and START DOING and to START DOING it TODAY!

Today. Now. Not later.

Now, just for fun, I want to share a couple of pictures with you of a couple of people (and, oh, there are many, many more that I could have shared) that made the bold decision to make a decision concerning living life with no regrets. The problem is that they did it with a tattoo and...well...take a look for yourself and enjoy the laugh.

Ironically, I'm sure there was plenty of R-E-G-R-E-T to go around on both of these, don't you?

Until next time, whatever you do, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

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Say More by Saying LESS

 

Take a moment and really take in the graphic that I came up with the other day that you see above.

 

Go ahead...take a look.

What kind of budget would you have to set up for yourself based on how many words you say during the course of a day? That's kind of crazy to think about, isn't it?

I'm not going to do it but, if you want to have some fun with this idea, count the number of words that I used in this blog article.

The point is this: IF you had to pay $1 for EVERY word that you say....would it change the way that you speak? Would it change how MUCH you say? Would it change WHAT you say?

Sure it would.

"Say MORE by saying LESS" might be a good idea to try to live by...think about it.

There is too much "noise pollution" in the world today and much of it comes from people talking way too much. Don't get "worked up" on this until you hear what I'm actually saying, o.k.?

I'm not talking about friends that haven't seen each other for a long time or family that hasn't seen each other in a long time. I'm not talking about family and close friends at all. The day may come when we WISHED we had just one more conversation with that family member or friend.

I AM talking about those that seem to have the need to tell you everything that they have to say about anything AND everything. Do you know someone like that? People that "hog" the conversation and, usually, don't end up sounding as intelligent as they would like.

If they - and us - had to pay $1 for EVERY word that we said during the course of a day, what would change?

Would we be more patient? Would we be more careful? Would we take the time to THINK a little longer BEFORE we speak?

Think about it this way...if we actually spoke less the first time, we'd have to spend less time - and use less words - having to explain or apologize later.



"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."
- ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Until next time, whatever you do, always be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

Future You University   "Like" FYU on Facebook!   Podcast on iTunes   Podcast RSS feed

  *MJ Spillman Travel on Facebook*    *TRAVEL FOR LESS and ENJOY LIFE MORE!*

Think BIG!

"Hey Mike, why is it you always have to talk about such BIG stuff? Why can't you just relax and just let the rest of us think the way we want to think?"

 

I actually had an old High School buddy post something similar to that on my Facebook page a couple of years ago after he saw the title for one of my blogs and podcast. Thing is, I knew by his comment that he didn't even take the time to read and/or listen. Yeah, I went ahead and removed him from my list of friends. The phrase I used to describe this action (and no one else knew why I posted this) was, "Sometimes you just gotta' weed your garden!"

 

Not only is life too short to think small, it's also too short to hang around others who think small!

 

I chose to remove that person from my connections because I didn't want their negativity to rub off on anyone else that may be reading my posts. I wasn't worried about his influence on me. No friend, I was (and still am) way beyond his ability to comprehend what thinking BIG is all about.

 

Think about this...what should I do, encourage people to think small? Wow, what a message that would be, right? "Don't take a chance of falling short and being disappointed! Think small so you don't regret anything!"

 

I think the real truth is that, by thinking and living small, one sets themselves up for the biggest regret of all. And that is coming to the end of your life and realizing how small you really did live your life!

 

Not me! I refuse to come to the end of my days on this earth having lived a life of fear and smallness. Have I been disappointed due to some of my BIG thoughts? YES! Have I had regrets due to some of these BIG thoughts?

 

Yes and no. Yes, some of these BIG thoughts cost me a chunk of money but, at the same time, I learned a lesson that was invaluable. So, I guess you could say that , NO, I didn't regret it after all!

 

So what if you fall short when you think BIG? Even if you do fall short you are far advanced from where you would be by thinking small and living small.

 

Get this point: STOP LISTENING TO PEOPLE THAT TELL YOU IT CAN'T BE DONE!

 

Hey, be sure to listen to the podcast to hear me tell of a young lady that REFUSED to listen to even me when - jokingly - I would tell her to settle for a "loser mentality". She was AWESOME!

 

Friend, just typing this out gets me all fired up! How about you?

 

THINK BIG - DREAM BIG - LIVE BIG!

 

And as you do so, whatever you do, be sure to...

 

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

 

Mike

 



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REGRET

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That's a pretty gloomy picture up there, isn't it? For many people REGRET looms over them like a big storm threatening the potential of great damage. For many, the "cloud of regret" hovers over them and follows them wherever they go. Doom. Danger. Destruction. Disaster. Defeat.

We all have regrets, don't we? I feel that, because of my experience as a parent, I can say that ALL parents have regrets. Can't all of us - as parents - look back and wish we had done some things differently? Spent more time doing things with our kids. Focused more on helping them develop certain characteristics that one is not born with but can only be taught and learned.

Everyone that is married has regrets. Everyone that is not married has regrets.

Get the picture? EVERYONE has regrets.

I picked out a few quotes on REGRET that I wanted to share with you. Take a look at them and let them soak in...

I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven't. - Lucille Ball

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.     -John Barrymore

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.     -Alexander Graham Bell

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.     -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I'm not sure if Lucille Ball got her quote from Mr. Brown, but they are both very similar in what they say. They both cause us to really look closely at our regrets. Do they not?

I can't help but ask the question that almost cries out from John Barrymore's quote... Have your dreams been replaced by regrets? Really examine this one closely!

I love the way that Mr. Bell brought out such a wise observation to the popular saying about one door closing and another one opening. This may be true but read again this observation and ask yourself if you are constantly standing and looking at all of the doors in your life that are closed.

REGRET - we all have it so it is important for us to consider what we DO with the regret in our own life!

Well?

Here's the deal and, if you've read much of my stuff at all you won't be surprised at what I'm about to say: IT'S YOUR CHOICE! Just like anything else in life and especially when it comes to how things impact our lives - it is a CHOICE that we make.

Think about it...we ALL have regrets but many live their lives differently when it comes to those regrets. Some live their lives FULL of regret to the point that they can never move on because of their focus ON those regrets (see again the quote by Alexander Graham Bell). Hey listen, for some, the regret is LARGE and the impact is far reaching but, nevertheless, all regrets are seen through our rear-view mirror, are they not? And, that being the case we MUST understand that we CAN learn from the cause of the regrets but we CANNOT go back and undo them and we CANNOT allow ourselves to focus on those past causes.

Seriously, what can be gained by doing this? NOTHING except bringing more regret to your life when you realize how much time you have wasted focused on this regret.

On the other hand, as has been said, you can LEARN from the past mistakes that brought on that regret and you can do everything within your power to not repeat those same mistakes thus avoiding even stronger regret due to your repetitive nature.

Huh?

DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

But we often do, don't we? That's how we are. But, hopefully, over time, we begin to break that pattern and we start repeating those same mistakes less and less to the point that we DO finally move on in a positive way.

Remember this: YOU ARE HUMAN!

Don't use that as an excuse (as many people do - "Oh well. You know, I'm only human!") but let it help you understand how we - as humans - tend to behave and how hard it is to make significant change in our lives as well as how long this significant change may take.

As was stated differently in two of the above quotes, the worst thing any of us wants to do is come to the point that we regret the fact that we did NOTHING...that we failed to LIVE.

I hope this helps. I'd love to hear from you at any time. Feel free to drop me an email - mike@futureyouuniversity.com as well as leave comments here or at the Future You University FAN PAGE on Facebook (preferred method for comments).

Until next time, be sure to...

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike

  



"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" (Conclusion)

"Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" (Conclusion)

"DON'T FORGET TO LIVE!"

As I conclude my thoughts on the topic of "Merely Existing OR Truly Living?" I hope that you have really taken a close and serious look at your life and asked yourself that very question in regards to your own life.

"As long as there is breath there is hope" has been one of my sayings that I have shared many times in the past and I know I will continue to share it many times in the future. The premise simply being that, as long as you are alive, there is ALWAYS the potential to improve your situation and make things better.

Are you ALIVE?

Are you LIVING?

No, I don't mean purely in the physical sense. I'm not asking if you have a heartbeat as you read this. (It would be quite a story if you DIDN'T have a heartbeat as you were reading this!).

In yesterday's blog I closed out with this quote that also came from the movie, "Tuck Everlasting"... "Don't be afraid of death but rather be afraid of the unlived life."

What do you think of when you think of living a life without regrets?

Is it simply trying to live life without doing much of anything wrong and, if you DID do something wrong, making sure that you reconciled the situation as much as possible?

For me, when I think of the idea of "living life without regrets" DOES take the previous thought into account BUT, in my mind, there is so much more to the equation. Let me explain...

I DO NOT want to come to the end of my life and have a long list of "what ifs" or "I wonder's". Do you understand what I mean?

I don't want to still ask myself, "What IF..." I had done this or that. I don't want to be wondering what would have happened IF I had stepped out - in spite of the fear and the unknown - and followed my heart and/or my dream.

Fear is truly an amazing emotion.

Think about this - fear can make you move like you've never moved before! For me, that type of strong emotion comes if I come across a snake unexpectedly. For example, my wife and I were walking a few years ago and it was just about getting dark when a very small (but still very poisonous) copperhead snake cross right between our feet. I didn't see it but I didn't HAVE to see it when I heard her say, "There's a snake!" Friend, she didn't yell it, she didn't say it with excitement. She said it in a very normal and calm voice. But, for me, it didn't matter! I didn't have to see the snake or know where it was. All I had to do was hear the words, "There's a snake!" and I was IMMEDIATELY "high-stepping" and doing it quickly! (Stop laughing!). Yes, she laughed hard and long at my immediate reaction to the situation but I really had NO CONTROL over my actions. FEAR MOVED ME to MOVE and to do so QUICKLY!

Now, let's look at a different scenario. Thank goodness I've not really had this one happen to me, but let's say I'm walking through the back yard and I come upon an adult copperhead that is coiled up and ready to strike. Very likely the very same emotion of FEAR that caused me to move and move quickly in the previous example would likely cause me to FREEZE in my tracks and make it to where I couldn't move no matter how badly I wanted to.

Same emotion with two different reactions.

Which will you allow into your life?

Will you allow the FEAR of the "unknown" or the FEAR that comes from past failures cause you to "freeze in your tracks" and keep you from making any more progress in your life? Go back and look at the examples I used yesterday about over-protective parents and realize that FEAR can definitely put us in the category of "merely existing" instead of "truly living".

Or, perhaps, you will allow the FEAR of dying with regrets ("what ifs" and "I wonder's") push you forward REGARDLESS of the past failures or the fact that you are not sure of what may happen.

Which ever form of that fear is the greatest will determine your action.

Yes, fear CAN be a great motivator and, if that is what it takes to get you started, then let that fear of dying with regrets get you going.

Then, guess what? You will begin to see that there was nothing to fear in the first place (as far as "the unknown") and you will begin to LIVE life and cease to merely exist.

Oh, I'm sure that we ALL will die with SOME regrets when it comes to an "unfinished list of things to do and see". But, just think of how wonderful it will be to look at that list (even if it's in our head) and KNOW that we sure enjoyed living life as we checked off as many as we could!

HERE'S TO LIFE AND LIVING!

And it all starts right now. Today.

Until next time...

"Be sure to make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)"

Mike http://www.michaelspillman.com/

What Will It Take? (Part 2)

What Will It Take? (Part 2)

Do you REALLY want to have a "HAPPY" New Year?

The DO something! That's right - make a choice, make a decision and then carry that out with ACTION!

Have you ever considered how many people die with their dreams left as just that - dreams? Have you ever considered how many plans are left undone when someone dies? Now, honestly, I hope to live my life in such a way that I NEVER fully complete all of the things that I'd like to accomplish BUT...we both know what I'm talking about here, right?

Stop living life in such a way that you will one day (and that day is getting closer and closer) look back with regret and say, "You know, I sure wish I had done something with those plans I had."

What a sad thing to have to say.

Is that thought enough to push you to action? Again, WHAT WILL IT TAKE?

Hey, we're in this thing together - I believe that and I hope that you, too, also believe that and know that!

Hey, here is an article that I wrote almost a year ago - in February of 2009 - that I think really "speaks" to what I'm trying to say here with this thought. Enjoy it and GET READY TO JUMP!

JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE ALREADY!

The last two Sunday evenings I have watched a television show with my family - especially my youngest son - that features a bunch of "nuts" (yup, that's what I called them!) that do all kinds of crazy stunts like jumping tricycles on ramps, riding motorcycles into the water and riding them on top of the water as far as they can, jumping out of planes --- without a parachute (allowing someone else to come to them and pull THEIR chute! )and all other kinds of things.

Now, these guys (and one gal) are all professionals at what they do. They make tons of money and, yes, they live life on the edge!

I call them "nuts" because I think they're crazy. But then, I think again. You may not agree with me but try to follow my train of thought anyway, o.k.? They are living life TO THE FULL and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY! Oh, I know that maybe it's not EVERY minute - but you get the idea.

They are not living their lives wondering "what if" in anything. What a way to live! My wife thinks it would be awesome to jump out of an airplane. Me? I'm scared of heights BUT I think if I could get past the initial shock, it might be pretty cool. The problem is - if I have a heart attack and die due TO that initial shock - so much for the thrill the rest of the way, right?

BUT HERE'S MY POINT...We may not all be able to literally jump out of an airplane. But....what is it you and I need to do TODAY that will be - for us in our everyday lives - like jumping out of an airplane?

WE LIVE OUR LIVES TOO COMFORTABLY AND SECURELY and we MUST change that and LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL!

I have lived too many years (and allowed too many years to go by) with regret. They are gone. I cannot get them back. BUT I can do something about the time I have NOW!

I am going to push myself to JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE ALREADY! Enough of the hanging around thinking about it. Enough of the "wondering". Enough of the self-defeating talk that keeps me from stepping out and going for it.

IT'S TIME TO JUMP!!!!! It's like a speaker I heard this past summer at a conference say, "Jump and develop your wings on the way down!". WOW!

Are you following me here? What is it for you? PUSH, SHOVE, KICK yourself out of your COMFORT ZONE and JUMP!!!

I want today to end with the thought of, "WOW! What an AMAZING DAY! I can't believe I did that!"

Anyone ready to strap on their " 'chute" and join me?

On the count of 3.......

1......

2.......

-------------------and, as always,

"Make it an AWESOME day! (Who else is going to do it for you?)

Mike